Noticeable Differences
by MutteringsofMadness
Summary: She was just the strange girl that saved Bilbo from the storm. That rolled her eyes, and tried to hide the fact that Kili's flirting made her blush. That seemed to long for companionship, yet traveled alone. That made him laugh and smile and scream and cry, all while laughing and smiling and screaming and crying at his side. That's all she was...Right? FINAL CHAPTER UP
1. Unexpected Aid

_**All rights, except for my OC go to Tolkien.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER ONE**

UNEXPECTED AID

The bitter, howling wind cut through every layer of fur, fabric, and metal that Kili had stacked over his skin. His cloak caught at the wind much like a sail, trying to pull him backwards. Flecks of snow and ice stung at his near-numb face, melting and refreezing on his nose and cheeks. His toes ached with cold. Snow-melt had begun to seep through the leather of his boots an hour or two ago, making his feet feel even more leaden as he thrashed through the knee-deep snow. His back was stiff from being hunched over so long, but he was afraid to straighten it, lest the blizzard find a new way to his skin. He could hardly see clearly more than a few inches in front of him, but he could feel his brother tromping through the snow behind him, and see the imposing silhouette of Thorin in front of him.

Time had long since blurred into mindless effort. Just placing one foot in front of the other took all the energy he could summon. His muscles burned and ached from the exertion. _Cursed mountains,_ was the only thought he could summon as the wind swiped a lock of hair in front of his eyes, temporarily blinding him. He stumbled a little, boot catching on what was probably a little out crop of rock from the ground. Were they even _on_ a bloody path anymore? Didn't feel like it. He reached up too try and remove the dark strands of hair from his face, but only succeeded in smearing a glove-ful of ice and frost over his cheeks.

He was interrupted from a bout of rather colorful cursing by the wind suddenly cutting off. Well, not completely, but at that point, anything was better than the blizzard they had been staggering through. He nearly slipped at the sudden feel of stepping on something smooth and relatively level... paving stones perhaps? Had they found shelter at last?

Kili craned his neck up, with no small amount of effort, to see a tall building, a heavy shadow against the whiteness of the darkening sky behind it. It seemed stable against the harsh winter winds blowing at it. Its windows glowed gold and wonderfully warm, and a sign hanging over the door, though blurred by snow and age, identified it as an inn. He felt himself break into a trot, longing to run towards the door.

 _Mahal,_ it was about time. He was very much in need of a fire, some warm ale, and a good bed.

Soon enough, he was spilling through the doorway. The warm air seemed to scorch his frosty cheeks and nose, but he welcomed the feeling, nearly gasping with joy. Someone behind him gave him a shove, and he stumbled from the spot where he had stopped in the door. He staggered to a chair at one of the round tables in the center of the room, sitting heavily. His sodden, woolen mittens were tugged off, then dropped on the floor between his knees. Then came his thick leather gloves, which quickly joined his mittens. He allowed his stiff fingers a moment to flex the blood back into them before reaching to his neck, to unfasten his cloak, not bothering to check where it slid off to. He pulled the icy scarf away from his nose, then scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to rub the feeling back into his features.

"I thought we might die out there," his brother said, to his left.

Kili grunted in agreement. They all had likely been thinking that. The blizzard had come up on them quickly. They had only just cleared up from their lunch when the temperature had begun to plummet, the wind picking up speed and skies turning gray. He snorted into his palms. A fitting welcome to the Misty Mountains.

"No, not in a while," Fili spoke again, and Kili glanced up to see Ori standing there, wringing his hands anxiously, his cheeks flushed from the cold and worry.

"What's that?" Kili asked, voice gravelly to his own ears.

"Seems our Mr. Boggins hasn't been seen yet in the inn," his brother replied.

Kili blinked for a moment, then huffed, gritting his teeth. "Don't _tell_ me he's lost."

"It seems the only plausible option," Ori said.

Kili swore, clenching his fists. The weather would probably have spelled the end of one of them if they had been out for too much longer. The hobbit, being so soft and unworked, would probably freeze to death even sooner.

His brother voiced his thoughts. "He'll die if he's left out there."

Guilt immediately began to fester in Kili's gut. Sure, it was mostly the hobbit's fault that he had gotten lost, but they were the reason he had been dragged out on this journey in the first place, and one of them probably should have thought to keep an eye on him, especially in weather such as this. Though his frozen bones groaned at him in annoyance, he forced the words out of his throat. "We should track back. See if we can find him."

Fili looked just as conflicted as him. "D'you think there's even a chance he's still alive?"

Kili shrugged, his heart heavy at the thought of having to leave the warm comfort of the tavern. "Maybe. We only have to go back half an hour or so."

The rest was left unspoken. If he had gotten lost any further back than that, hope for his survival was near non-existent.

"I'll go with you, to help. I just feel so awful for having lost him in the first place..." Ori began.

Not a chance. The dwarf, though older than both Kili and Fili by a year of two, was near as delicate as a flower. More suited towards writing than fighting. Even if he did go back out, he wouldn't be of much help. That was, if they didn't end up having to carry _him_ back to the inn, unconscious.

Fili seemed to agree. "No, Kili and I will go out."

Ori stuttered out a protest, but the brothers ignored him, somewhat reluctantly pulling their cold, damp clothes back on. Kili shivered as he stood. Nearly every muscle in his body protested him going back out into the blizzard, but a nagging voice in the back of his head pushed him onwards. As they neared the door, Thorin caught their attention. "What are you doing?"

Fili sighed. "The burglar's still out there. We're off to try and find him."

His uncle stared at him for a moment. They were all aware of Thorin's distaste for Bilbo. However weak the little fellow seemed though, Kili couldn't help but harbor a bit of respect after the troll incident. He may not have been a battle-hardened warrior like most of the party, but he was definitely an asset. The older dwarf growled and turned away, waving a hand. "Risk your lives if you see it fit."

Taking that as approval, Kili stepped out the door, his brother following closely.

He regretted leaving the door instantly. It seemed the storm had actually worsened, the snow nearly a solid barrier in front of him, the drift reaching halfway up his thighs. The frost that had melted on his cheeks began to freeze, his hair whipping even more maddeningly into his vision. A look from Fili, though, his blue eyes strong and determined, renewed Kili's spirit. He followed his brother back the way they had come. Their heavily trodden path from only a few minutes before were already being wiped away.

Time had blurred, but his exhausted mind figured that it might have been twenty minutes. Or ten. The minutes seemed to drag by terribly slow. Kili was considering suggesting they turn about. His legs were losing energy with every step and it took all of his concentration not to stumble and fall into the deep banks around them. His stomach was beginning to burn with hunger, and his eyelids were drooping. He raised his head, about to speak to his brother, but found Fili had stopped, shouting through the wind at another figure standing a few feet away.

He was tall, probably human, as his footsteps sunk into the snow, unlike the fairy-steps of an elf. He stood hunched, and wrapped in many layers of winter clothing, face half covered with a scarf, and blurred by the snow.

He could only make out some of his brother's words. "Seen...one of our own..."

The stranger's response was completely unintelligible to Kili, but Fili turned to him soon after. "Come brother, they've found Bilbo!"

His heart lifted. Maybe the Hobbit wasn't a goner after all. Kili took a few steps closer, and was able to hear the tall man's words. "Go to the inn, and prepare things to warm him. I'll carry him back, just be ready!"

Kili might have protested, had he been a little more lucid, but instead, he just nodded, then turned to track their steps through the snow, back to the inn.

They arrived at the inn fairly quickly, both panting a little from exertion. They had barely sat, when Ori approached, looking quite a bit warmer and healthier than before, but no less concerned. "What...Did..." his eyes shot wide in horror. "You couldn't find him."

"We did," Fili corrected. "Some fellow out on the road picked him up, and is bringing him back this very moment."

"Really!?" Ori squeaked, sounding terribly pleased.

Kili would have grinned, had his face been less frozen. "Of course. You shouldn't have doubted us, Ori."

The dwarf was practically beaming then. "Oh, that's brilliant! Even Balin had lost hope! We were just thinking that we should go out to try and find you two when you walked in, and then, when you came in without Bilbo, well, I assumed the worst. But now... Oh, this really is good news!"

Kili chuckled at his obvious relief. "Good. Now, I need you to get some blankets or something from the innkeeper, and stoke the fire. The hobbit's due to be a little frozen when he gets back."

Ori nodded hurriedly, and bustled off.

The brothers quickly set to work, shedding cloaks, gloves, scarves, and coats at a remarkable speed. When he was free of most of his sodden layers, Kili made his way to the fire, where he sat himself on the hearth. Ori had indeed stoked it. It blazed merrily, sending delicious heat curling over his damp skin. He shivered. _Mahal,_ if anyone else had gotten lost, he would not be going out to find them, even if it was his own mother. All he wanted was to curl up in a warm bed in warm clothes and warm blankets, with a good dinner in his stomach and a few mugs of ale down his throat. Perhaps he'd be able to get a hot bath. Though they had been able to bathe in Rivendell, it could very well be weeks until they had the chance again, and he always had been rather fond of a good, fresh drawn bath.

He shivered unhappily as a gust of cold air swept past him. A moment later, his eyes snapped open as he realized that that had been the door opening. He looked up in time to see it slam closed, a flurry of snowflakes blowing in. Kili stood, despite his creaking joints and hobbled over to help Fili and Ori, who were tossing aside the man's cloak, to reveal a tiny-looking Bilbo Baggins laid across his back. He arrived in time to help Fili in lowering Bilbo, setting the hobbit on the floor for a moment. With a nod, the brothers picked the hobbit back up off the floor, lifting him over to the fire. Ori hurried ahead of them, pulling a bench away from the wall to face the fire.

Once Bilbo had been set on the seat, Kili was able to get a good look at him. His face was a disturbingly pale shade, his lips a purplish-blue color, and his hair and clothing had a good coat of frost over them. His brother spoke beside him, in a low voice. "You'd think him dead, if you couldn't see his breathing."

Kili hummed in agreement.

"And he will be dead, if you don't get those frozen layers off of him and start trying to warm him up." Kili nearly jumped, upon hearing this voice. It was the man, sounding irritated. Now that the snow was gone, Kili could see a sliver of his face. He had pale skin, and near-black, almond shaped eyes.

The man went to pull off a glove, and Kili frowned in confusion. With the glove gone, the hand revealed, though calloused, and reddening from cold, was rather slender, almost...feminine. His brain moved sluggishly to a conclusion, and it wasn't until the stranger had unwound the scarf from their face that Kili realized that this newcomer was, in fact...female.

She seemed to be barely in adulthood, by human standards. Her pale, high features were surrounded by a mane of dark, loose curls, her pinkish lips set in an unhappy line. Definitely female. He blamed most of his astonishment on his cold-addled mind, as his jaw nearly dropped. She caught his eye, and arched a brow. "Are you going to gawk at me, or are you going to save the halfling's life? We haven't all evening, Master Dwarf."

Kili shook his head to snap out of his shock, then moved to do as she had demanded. He exchanged a look with Fili, who seemed just as surprised as him. He wouldn't usually have been this struck simply by the sight of a girl, but his exhausted mind had simply assumed the tall, dark figure to be a man. This was, of course, only adding to the fact that he hadn't seen a human female in more than a month up close, and though this girl wasn't too particularly stunning, she was remarkably different than any of his traveling companions. Humans had always fascinated him.

He and his brother removed most of the hobbit's clothes, until he was dressed only in his trousers and a light shirt that would dry soon enough. The girl spoke again. "You two should take off your clothes as well."

Kili's eyes widened fractionally, and his flirtatious instinct kicked in, although playfully. "Ah, well, you're pretty enough, I suppose, but don't you think we ought to get to know each other a little more first?"

She sighed heavily, undoing the buttons of her heavy coat. "So you're going to be like that?"

Kili shrugged, and she shook her head as she worked on a particularly stubborn one. "Body heat's the best way to warm him right now, short of actually roasting him over the fire, and dwarves have a high body temperature. So, if you wouldn't mind..."

Fili sat and began to undo one of his boots. "Are you really sure it's just that?"

Kili fought back a snort, and looked up at her with a smirk. "I know quite a few lassies who'd love to get an eyeful of this."

His brother punctuated this by sending her a wink as he pulled his outer shirt off over his head, instead of undoing the laces.

She rolled her eyes, but Kili noticed, with a bit of pride, a dusting of pink across her cheeks. This had been a common game Fili and Kili had played back at home. There were few things more amusing than watching girls stumble and stutter over their own feet due only to a wink and a sly word from a handsome dwarf such as himself. She didn't seem to be at the stuttering stage yet, though. "Once you've done that, get on either side of him." She looked about for a moment. "We'll need a blanket."

"We sent someone to fetch one a minute or two ago," Fili told her, settling himself beside the cold hobbit.

Kili joined him after a moment. It was a little awkward, but he found that as long as he didn't think about who it was that he was wrapping himself about, it wasn't too bad. But if Bilbo woke up any time soon, he was going to have the surprise of a lifetime. The girl settled herself at Bilbo's feet, pulling them onto her lap, then gently rubbing them, in an effort to stave off the cold. She glanced up at Fili and Kili for a moment, but looked away quickly, seeming as if she was trying to suppress a smile.

Kili smirked. "Like what you see?"

Fili followed this up smoothly. "I can tell you're wishing you were in the hobbit's position right now."

"Oh, aye," she drawled, sitting back a little to meet their eyes. "Half frozen to death and unconscious with two hairy dwarves wrapped about me. Exactly how I like to spend my evenings."

"Well, it seems you're in luck then," Kili said, raising a brow and patting the space next to him. "I imagine I could use some warming up as well."

A sharp, low voice spoke then. "What was that, Kili?"

Kili winced. No one could make him feel like a scolded fifteen year old like Thorin. "Nothing, uncle."

Thorin huffed, but turned to the girl. "Will the hobbit live?"

"Probably," she replied. "I'm no sort of doctor, but it doesn't seem like the frost's gotten to him too badly."

He merely grunted in response, before returning his gaze to Kili. "And Kili?"

He glanced up. "Yes?"

"I would appreciate it if you would stop trying to seduce the _entire_ local population."

Kili watched him go, any response dead on his lips. When he turned back around, both Fili and the girl were trying to suppress laughter. Kili frowned. "How come I'm always the one who gets scolded?"

His brother collected himself enough to chuckle, "Because I'm the oldest, so I'm never to blame."

The girl meanwhile, smirked. "It amuses me, master dwarf, how one so confident goes speechless so quickly at a stern word from his uncle."

Kili almost made a face at her, but instead, let a lopsided smile onto his face. "That just means I have a sensitive side." After a moment's thought, he added, "I've heard the ladies like that."

"Ah," she looked up. "And have you also heard that they like it when they're flirted with constantly?"

Kili shrugged. "It's seemed to work with you well enough."

She lifted a brow. "Because I am so obviously smitten with you?"

"I'd say so." He looked over Bilbo's head at his brother. "Wouldn't you say so?"

Fili shook his head and shrugged. "Not really my place to be saying anything so."

"Well, it is my place," she said. "And I don't think it's really working. You'll have to try a different tactic."

Kili sighed, sitting back in the bench. This girl wasn't afraid to talk back.

As Kili watched her, he had to admit that she was, perhaps a little prettier than he has first assumed. The firelight cast flickering shadows across the high planes of her cheeks, and the color had begun to return to her skin, making it a nice shade of peach. Her hair fell to her elbows in wavy curls of sorts, the warm light bringing out soft golden and copper hues from the thick brown locks. She wasn't anythin compared to the voluptuous lasses back at home, but for a human, she certainly wasn't terrible looking. He thought back to Rivendell, when he had mentioned not liking maids with high cheek bones, or creamy, smooth skin. That had been a lie then, and it seemed it was still a lie.

A flicker of movement caught his attention, and he glanced up to see Ori, looking a bit daft, nervously wringing his fingers in the blanket in his arms. The young dwarf spoke up, his voice quiet and shy. "Um, I just wanted to check and see how Bilbo was doing."

The girl looked up, then smiled softly. "I should think he'll be quite alright."

A bit of a nervous half smile came upon his lips. "Um, er...I have a blanket. For Bilbo. And, oh," he hurriedly bowed. "Ori, at your service, I suppose."

She took the blanket from him, then bowed as well, amusement in her voice. "And Gwen, at yours." She smiled at him cheekily before adding, "I suppose."

Gwen. Her name was short and sweet. Rolled easily off the tongue. Terribly plain, but nice enough.

Ori blinked, a slight blush on his cheeks, before he muttered some excuse and scuttled off.

Kili looked up at her as she shook the blanket out. "You should be grateful not all of us are as socially awkward as Ori."

"I'd have awkward over sickeningly flirtatious any day," she replied, settling the blanket over the hobbit, so that it covered him from neck to toe.

Fili's stomach suddenly let out an astonishingly loud growl. He winced a little. "And I believe that's the cue for me to go get something to eat." He looked up at Gwen. "Do I have your permission to leave the hobbit's side?"

She shrugged. "If you'd like." She stopped him before he could stand. "Of course, on the condition that you fetch me something as well."

Fili raised a brow. "Are you trying to get a free meal out of me?"

"Yes," she deadpanned. "I had to carry _your_ halfling an hour in this blizzard, and although he seems small, I assure you he weighs quite a bit. Surely, that's deserving of a plate of food."

Fili looked to his brother for help, but Kili merely shrugged. "Can't really argue with that one."

Fili stood, rolling his eyes. "Can I not catch a break around here?"

Gwen smirked. "It seems not."

With one last huff, the dwarf was gone off to speak to the innkeep.

She slid into Fili's spot at the hobbit's side, slumping in the seat to lean into him a little. Kili turned and settled his chin atop Bilbo's mop of curls, looking the few inches up at her and grinning. His smile was one of his specialties. Usually had most lasses melting and falling over him. "So, Gwen," he paused for a moment. "I can just call you Gwen, right?"

She tilted her head, smiling slightly back at him. "Seems you already have."

"Good. So Gwen, tell me about yourself."

She sighed then leaned her head back to stare at the ceiling. "Well, my name's Gwen."

When she paused, Kili raised a brow. "Really? I had no idea. How fascinating."

She flicked her eyes over to give him a glare, but there was no real fire behind it. "Thanks. Now, how about you tell me something about _you?_ " After a moment, she added, "Or perhaps your brother? I haven't heard his name yet."

"Ah, well he's called Fili."

He looked over when she started making a curious noise. It seemed as if Gwen was laughing, though trying to suppress it. She was leaning forward, and looking away from him, her hand pressed over her lips, frame shaking a little. Kili frowned. He knew his brother was a bit daft sometimes, but it didn't seem that the mere mention of his name should warrant such a reaction. "What?"

She looked up at him, still trying not to giggle. "Fili? And Kili?'

His brow furrowed further. "What about it?"

"It's just..." She chuckled a little, shaking her head. "Dwarves _are_ a creative folk."

Kili was a little upset, not seeing what she found so amusing. "You're a strange girl."

She merely grinned in reply.

That was the first time Kili saw her grin. And _Mahal_ , he would always remember that moment. His heart did a funny thing in his chest that made him sort of feel like he couldn't breathe. Every though was banished from his head. Her smile was practically radiant, lighting up her entire face. And anything he could do to make her smile like that again would be well worth it.

But soon, the smile had faded from her face, and it seemed her attention had gone to the fire, her eyes reflecting the flickering flames. Kili leaned back in his seat with a sigh. As miserable as he had been earlier, with the hobbit safe, and a smile on his face, he couldn't help but feel a little lighter. He was still dead tired though. His legs felt heavy, his eyelids aching to droop closed.

He was shaken from his weary thoughts by a soft groan from beside him, as well as a twitch of movement. A glance showed that Gwen was also a little alarmed, but Kili soon pinpointed the source of this disturbance as Bilbo Baggins, who stirred slightly, his eyelids flickering open. Gwen regained her composure, and smiled down at him. "Good evening, Master hobbit."

Bilbo rubbed at his eyes blearily, then squinted up at her, brow furrowed. Within another moment, a look of shock and realization came upon him, and he jerked back. "Oh, ah, hello there."

Kili patted him firmly on the shoulder, grinning. After thinking him quite possibly dead, it was good to hear the little fellow's voice again. "Nice to see you alive and kicking, Mister Boggins."

He turned frantically about to see who spoke. When he saw who it had been, he relaxed a little, but looked no less frazzled. "Thank you. I-" a look of horror crossed his face. "Alive and-excuse me, but, do you mean to imply that I was ever _not_ alive and kicking?"

Kili shrugged and chuckled. "Not quite. But you did manage to give us a good bit of a scare."

"Oh," Bilbo said faintly, looking about at his surroundings. He shifted a little, then a blush came up on his cheeks. "Where have-" he paused, glanced at Gwen, then leaned in closer to Kili, to whisper, "Where on earth have my clothes gone?"

 _"Relax,"_ Kili said, rolling his eyes. "They weren't doing any good on you."

"What does that even _mean_!?" the hobbit squeaked, his face turning even redder. "I'd say they were doing quite a bit of good!"

"They were soaking wet," Kili sighed. "You would've been even worse off if we'd left them on."

"You might've died," Gwen added.

Bilbo seemed only then to remember Gwen's presence, and turned about to face her, bowing his head a little. "I am very sorry for any inappropriate-ness, miss, my companions can be...rough at times."

Kili frowned, muttering to himself, "Rough? What's that supposed to mean?"

Gwen, meanwhile, only chuckled. "Worry not. I've already figured that one out."

"Well, I do apologize, Miss-" he turned back to Kili, saying under his breath, "Who is she again?"

"Gwen," Kili told him. "She found you napping out in that blizzard and carried you back here."

The hobbit's eyes went wide. "Ah, well, thanks are in order then, I suppose, Miss Gwen..."

She shook her head. "Not necessary. I'm getting a meal in payment. Speaking of which," She frowned, looking around for a moment. "Where is your brother? I'm actually quite hungry."

Kili shrugged. "Perhaps you've scared him away."

"I do tend to have that effect on people." She looked down, frowning for a moment, before pinning Bilbo with a curious look. "Master hobbit, I have yet to learn your name...?"

He flustered quickly. "Oh, well I'm Bilbo Baggins of Bag End of the Shire."

She smiled fondly. "The Shire...I was there once, a while ago."

Bilbo brightened, seeming to think this a much more suitable subject of conversation. "Really? It is quite a lovely place, even if not the best for visitors. I can't think of a place I'd rather be right now."

Gwen sent a pointed look to the door, where the blizzard was undoubtedly still raging. "I'm tempted to agree with that. I'd be very much agreeable to some sunshine and grass right now."

"Yes," he sighed, nodding. "It feels like I haven't seen a friendly sky or well kempt garden in weeks."

"That's because you haven't," Kili contributed. "Gardens tend to be few and far between in the Misty Mountains."

"It makes sense," huffed Bilbo, shivering slightly. "I can't imagine why anyone would _want_ to be up here."

"Ah, Mr. Boggins!"

Bilbo sighed heavily at that and turned to look up at Fili, who had just come over. "You know, I've _told_ you that that's not-"

Fili disregarded his words. "How are you feeling then?"

With a huff, it seemed that Bilbo had reluctantly accepted that nickname, at least for a while. "Cold, tired, hungry, sore and a little damp, but considering what I've been through, alright, I suppose."

Gwen stood. "You can sit here again, Fili."

He seemed taken aback. "What? No, don't be ridiculous! I'll never see the day when I take a lass' seat and make her sit on the floor!"

She knelt back where she had been before. "Well, then you'd best close your eyes, because I believe that day's arrived." Seeing that Fili was determined to remain stubborn, she continued. "Go on, I feel ridiculously tall around you all, unless I'm on the floor."

"You are rather tall," Kili informed her as his brother, grumbling, settled himself back down.

She raised a brow, sarcasm touching at her tone. "Thank you. I hadn't really noticed that."

Kili ignored that comment, leaning forward to place his chin in his palm, staring seriously at her legs, folded underneath her. "I'll never understand how you tall folk keep your balance."

"It requires a certain amount of natural grace," she explained. "You wouldn't understand."

"I _am_ graceful." He smirked, raising his brows suggestively. "Where it counts, anyway."

Gwen paused, staring at him for a moment. She shook her head, sighing. "I think I should've gone to a different inn than this one."

Kili chuckled. "Don't say that. You know you're better off having seen my face."

She rolled her eyes, then turned, looking up at Fili, who was speaking with Bilbo. "Fili?" When she didn't get a response, she plucked her sodden glove off the ground, slinging it at him.

It seemed she missed though, and the bit of leather smacked into the side of the hobbit's head. He flinched away, curling up on himself. Gwen winced. "Sorry, Mr. Bilbo. I was aiming for Fili, really."

Kili snickered. "That was a terrible shot!"

"Oh, don't start with that," she snapped at him.

"But it was awful! You were at _least_ a foot off!"

She gritted her teeth, cheeks turning a little pink. "Well, that's because I'm trained in hitting things with a sword, not a _glove!"_

"Did you want me?" Fili cut in.

With a huff, Gwen turned her attention to him. "I wanted to know where dinner had gone off to."

"Innkeep should be over with it in just a minute or two."

She nodded. "Good news. I think I could eat a bear."

Kili snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "You already have, by the looks of it."

She threw another glove, and this time, it would have hit its mark, had Kili not dodged out of its way.

"I'm joking!" he called out, putting out his hands in defense. "Calm down, woman, I'm just teasing you."

Fili choked out a laugh. "Brother, you'd best just be quiet."

Kili shot a glare at him, before turning back to Gwen, who had propped her chin on her palm and was looking up at him coldly. He gave her his most sincere look. "Really, Gwen. You could never be called too heavy." Then came his most boyishly-charming grin. "You're too lovely for that."

She merely rolled her eyes, but Kili noticed a definite pink flush running up her cheeks and into her hair.

The innkeep arrived then, balancing a few steaming wood bowls. He nodded, as he handed a bowl and spoon to each of them. "I've brought some for the halfling too." He glanced at the little fellow, who was still pale and shivering, his hair damp. "On the house."

Fili grinned, as he settled the bowl in his lap. "You're far too kind to us."

The man glanced out the small window above the door. "That storm's downright nasty. I've sympathy for anyone who's had to be out in it." With another nod, he was off, promising to be back with some ale.

Bilbo held his bowl close up to his face, as he carefully stirred though it, squinting down at its contents. "I honestly have no idea what sort of meat this could possibly be."

"Does it really matter?" Kili mumbled, already with a mouthful of said meat.

"No, I suppose not," the hobbit replied distractedly, still peering skeptically at a small chunk balanced on his spoon.

Fili elbowed him, swallowing his third bite. "Just eat it."

Gwen, from the floor, shrugged. "It's not bad, if you don't think about it too much."

Bilbo made a doubtful sound of agreement, putting a small spoonful in his mouth.

By the time the innkeep had returned with four tankards gripped in his fingers, they were all eating in silence, happy just to be filling their aching stomachs. He gave Gwen her mug last. "And some of our finest honey mead for the lady."

She smiled sweetly up at him, accepting it gratefully. "I'm terribly flattered."

"The least I can do," he replied, smiling warmly back.

When he was gone, the expression fell from her face, to be replaced with one of faint annoyance. "Why's it always assumed that I can't handle ale?"

Kili snorted, taking a gulp from his drink. The ale burned his throat pleasantly on the way down, setting a pleasant tingle in his belly. "You're a lass. Your type usually likes sweet little drinks like that."

She grumbled something unintelligible, though lifted the mug to take a deep swig of it down.

Once his belly was full, Kili found himself a little sleepy. He took occasional sips of his drink, half watching Gwen as she chased a bit of carrot about her bowl. He chuckled as she finally set her dish down in front of her, huffing. "Has the food won?" he mumbled.

She looked up in surprise for a moment, but quickly wrinkled her nose at him a little. "You wish."

Kili raised a brow, but she silenced him with a wave of her hand. "I know that didn't really make sense."

It seemed that Fili was poised to comment, but the deep sound of Thorin's voice silenced him.

"We can't travel anymore tonight. We head out as soon as the weather will permit it." He cast a stern look about, seeming rather tall and imposing from a few steps up the staircase. "While we're here, rest and regain your strength. We'll need to make good speed once we're travelling again, if we're to reach our goal in time." With one last sweep of the room, he was trodding heavily up the rest of the stairs.

Kili looked to his brother. "A night's rest under a roof, at least."

Fili smiled.

"You'll get more than a night, by the looks of it," Gwen said, eyes on the window. "The blizzard's just getting started."

Bilbo furrowed his brow a little. "Lady Gwen, will you be staying here as well?"

"I should hope," she sighed, settling back beside the hearth, her cup gripped between her hands. "It's nasty out there. You'd be risking your life, trying to get anywhere proper."

Kili grinned. "So we might be seeing a bit more of you?"

She sighed. "Unfortunately, yes."

Fili snorted. "Oh, we're not that terrible of company."

Gwen smiled to herself. "No, not too terrible, I suppose."

Kili and Fili had ordered another two mugs of ale, and Bilbo had nearly fallen asleep twice by the time Gwen got to her feet. "Well, it's getting to be late. I'm off to bed."

Kili looked up at her with wide, innocent eyes. "Shall I join you?"

She snorted un-gracefully, gathering her things from the floor. "You wish, dwarf."

He grinned cheekily. "Are you sure that's not you doing the wishing?"

Gwen chuckled, but did not reply, waving to them as she made her way towards the innkeep. "Good night, then."

"Night," Fili called after her.

Kili merely smirked.

Bilbo jerked suddenly awake, his eyes shooting wide. "I'm here!"

"Glad to hear it, Master Boggins," Fili chuckled.

The hobbit slumped back down into his seat, yawning. "Oh, sorry. I must have drifted off." After a moment, he added, "I think I ought to go up soon."

Kili nodded distractedly. He should go up to sleep, but now, there was nearly two mugs of ale buzzing in his head, and he wasn't feeling too tired. It had been _ages_ since he'd been able to drink properly, what with the quest and all, and he was quite probably going to take full advantages of this kitchen.

Fili called over the innkeep for another drink, and the two brothers exchanged a grin. It seemed they were both thinking the same thing.

* * *

 _ **I hope you enjoyed that! I would love to get some constructive criticism, if you have the time. The second chapter will be up next Friday. Have a great week!**_

 _ **Next chapter: A Battle of Wits and Steel**_


	2. A Battle of Wits and Steel

_**All of Middle Earth and its inhabitants belong to Tolkien. All I own is my OC.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER TWO**

A BATTLE OF WITS AND STEEL

Kili woke up slowly, the world coming back to him in bits and pieces. He was soon aware that he was sleeping on the floor, an arrangement which had undoubtedly not pleased him last night, and there was a dull, stuffy, throbbing feeling in his skull. Perhaps he'd had a little too much to drink last night. His hangover wasn't terrible, though. He had endured much worse after some wild nights in his fifties.

He brought a hand up to scrub over his face, scraping past the stubble on his cheeks, and combing the hair back out of his eyes. His hair clasp had slipped out sometime last night, but he simply couldn't bring himself to look for it before breakfast. Using the cot beside him to hoist himself out of his half laid-out bedroll, Kili stood a moment, waiting for his balance to catch back up with him. He felt a little sick to the stomach, but more than that, he was hungry. He saw a basin on a small table in the corner and stumbled over to it, though once he reached it, he hesitated. A glance outside showed that it was still snowing hard, and the air in the room was fairly chilly.

Kili braced himself, before leaning over, cupping up a handful of water, and splashing it over his face. He gasped from the near ice on his skin, but scooped up another handful. Although unpleasant, the frigid rinse was doing some good in knocking the cobwebs from his head. He straightened, grasping for the towel that had been next to the basin.

Once his face was dry, he staggered back to his bedroll, dropping down onto the cot beside it, where his brother slept. It seemed that he'd had a little more to drink than Kili. The blonde dwarf was sprawled backward on the straw mattress, head resting on his pack, feet on the pillow. Kili scoffed. His brother never could hold his drink too particularly well.

Kili reached for his boots, jamming his feet into them. Most of his heavy coats were in a miserable stack in the corner, no doubt, still damp from the previous day, so he deigned it acceptable to go down stairs with just his light shirt and trousers on. He couldn't imagine there being too much danger for him to encounter down there.

The hallway outside his room was quiet. He doubted any of his companions had bothered to wake up yet. Gwen had been right. There was no chance they'd be able to get out with the storm still going like that. Kili still shivered in displeasure at the thought of being back out in the blizzard. The stairs creaked terribly under his weight, but soon enough he had made it down into the tavern without a problem.

The light in the room was about as dim as it had been the previous night, only now, a faint, cold beam of natural light was flickering through a high window. In the small pool of light, was Gwen, looking rested, clean, and happy. Kili leaned against the bar until the bartender showed up. "Something to eat?" the man asked gruffly.

Kili nodded.

The man returned a few minutes later, with a mug of tea and a plate bearing a few thick slices of bread, slathered with butter.

There was an open seat across from Gwen and since, save a passed-out Bofur and a human he didn't know, the room was empty, Kili decided to take it. She was dressed simply, in leather breeches, her boots from last night and a loose white shirt. Her hair hung, seeming cleaned, in soft curls against her cheeks. Her dark gaze was directed at the blade in her hands. It was the length of her arm, and curved all the way. Kili was reminded of Orcrist, with its shiny silver and swirling patterns. The blade looked to be a fine weapon, if not a little fragile. She had a cloth in her hand, and was carefully buffing out any blemishes on the mirror-like surface. On the wood of the table before her, she had more weapons laid out. An elvish dagger, the length of her forearm, then a few smaller blades, barely the length of her hand, but glinting merrily in the shifting light. Certainly nothing to rival his brother's collection, but decent enough.

He set his plate down with a 'clack.' "Morning."

Gwen glanced up at him, then smiled a little. "G'morning."

"Lovely weather we're having," Kili said as he sat down heavily in the chair, clutching his mug of tea to his chest.

She flicked her eyes up to the window, half blocked by snow, then looked back to him, arching a brow. "A little snowy for my taste. But if that's the sort of thing you like, then I suppose so."

He shot her a crooked grin. "You're looking lovely this morning as well."

She rolled her eyes. "You're not starting on that again, are you?"

Kili chuckled at her reaction. Seemed she was still trying to resist his charm. "Really, I was just wondering if you had managed to get a bath."

"Oh, aye, then." She set the sword down on the table, yawning as she leaned back in her chair. "Just ask up at the front." Her eyes flicked over him. "You certainly are in need of a wash."

Kili shrugged, setting his tea down to bite a chunk of bread off. "You have _no_ idea."

She was about to resume her work, but Kili stopped her. "Fine looking blade you've got there. Is it yours?"

She nodded, then lifted it up, letting a few drops of light run off its surface. "She's the best I've got."

"I've not seen anything like it." He took another bite.

"Only one of its kind, as far as I know."

Kili raised a brow, though he wasn't too particularly surprised. He couldn't remember seeing a weapon curved that dramatically before. The weighting would be odd, and you'd have to come up with a different way of parrying with it. That was, if it was even possible to parry with. Soon, his curiosity won out, and he wiped his palms roughly off on his breeches. "Could I see it?"

Her lips quirked into a wry half smile. "As long as you don't do any damage."

He snorted. "To the blade, or to our surroundings?"

"Both." She held it out to him then, flipping it so the pommel faced his direction.

He took it carefully, aware of Gwen's eyes still on him. It was incredibly light, the grip feeling too tiny and delicate in his large hands. He had been right about the weighting being strange as well. It was only sharpened on the outside of the curve, while the inner edge was rounded off. It would certainly take some getting used to, but it was of rather fine elvish craftsmanship. He hefted it a little. "How do you use it?"

"That seems a bit of a broad topic. If you're looking for me to teach you how to wield a blade, I'm afraid I haven't the time."

Kili rolled his eyes. "No, not that. It's just...It's very different. Light. You couldn't get much force behind a swing."

"You really shouldn't have to, if you're using it properly," Gwen explained, picking up one of the smaller knives off the table to polish. "It's designed to slash into things better than a longsword can."

He gave the blade an experimental swing. That was an interesting idea. The curve allowed the force put into a swing to translate into long slashes, instead of chops or stabs. And although Gwen was certainly muscular enough, she didn't seem the type of person to be able to hack off an attacker's head in one blow. This would be much better suited to her than a usual longsword. "I suppose I can see that." He ran a finger along the blunt edge of the blade. "But why have one edge rounded? If you had both sharp, you'd be able to stab as well."

She set down her knife and cloth, then held out a hand for her weapon to be returned. "I've never been too fond of fighting like that. Besides, the shape would make it terribly awkward to stab with. If you leave a side blunt though," She explained, pressing the heel of her palm to the unsharpened side. "When you're caught in a battle of strengths with someone, you can move a hand up the blade to push from here and gain some extra leverage."

Kiki nodded slowly, then smirked "And what if you mix up the two sides and put your hand on the sharp one?"

She winced a little, setting the blade back down. "That would be a mistake you only make once. You tend to be a bit more careful from then out."

"You seem as if you speak from experience," he told her, taking a gulp from his mug. The tea was a little bitter, but served even further to clear his head.

"There's a reason for that." It seemed she was done polishing. She slid her chair out, then took two of the smaller knives, bending over.

Kili raised a brow, then after swallowing down another mouthful of bread, spoke. "What're you doing now?"

Her head popped back up from over the table. "I like to keep at least some weapons on me, even when there's not too much of a likelihood of danger."

"Don't you trust me to keep you safe?" he asked, seeming aghast.

"Should I? You're completely unarmed, unarmored, and recovering from a hangover. Not to mention the fact that you're practically a stranger to me."

He winced. "Harsh. And I'm hardly a stranger."

"Really? How long ago did I meet you?"

"Probably about twelve hours ago. _But,"_ he saw the doubtful look on her face. "A lot can happen in twelve hours."

Gwen planted her chin on her elbow, looking down at him, with skepticism. "Can it?"

Kili sighed. "I know it's your nature to be untrusting-" Her brow shot up. "And skeptical-" Higher. "And to seem unfeeling, but we both know that over these last twelve hours, we've really formed a connection."

She stared hard at him for few long moments, before sitting back in her seat, chuckling. "You are such a persistent fool."

Kili shrugged. "At least I make you smile." She opened her mouth to say something, but he cut her off, speaking seriously. "You should smile more."

She suddenly avoided his eyes, and Kili knew nearly without looking that Gwen was struggling to hold back a blush. He was brilliant. And to think, his mum said if he kept acting the way he did, he would never amount to anything.

Heavy footsteps on the staircase cut through the drowsy quiet of the tavern, and the air suddenly went tense at Thorin appeared. Any traces of a blush disappeared from Gwen's cheeks, and she quickly busied herself, rubbing a non-existent spot from the faintly worn hilt of her dagger. The smile faded off of Kili's lips and he quickly took a bite of his bread. Thorin's eyes scrolled over the room as he squeaked down the last few steps, his eyes making contact with Kili's for a moment. The younger dwarf had to look away when he saw a faint flicker of disapproval in his uncle's eye. He hated it when Thorin was upset at him.

Soon, Thorin was speaking, low, to the barkeeper. The room remained trapped in an uncomfortable state of near silence, save Bofur's occasional grunts and snorts from a table in the corner, until Thorin had secured a plate of food in his hands and creaked back up the steps.

Kili and Gwen's eyes met, and judging by the slight confused tilt of her head, and crinkle of her brow, Kili hadn't done a very good job hiding how shaken up he felt. He quickly shot her a smile, but she didn't seem much put at ease by it. Luckily, interruption came again, in the form of more footsteps on the staircase. This time it was his brother, leaning heavily on the banister, looking quite a mess. He stumbled to the seat next to Kili and flopped down, yawning loudly. "Mahal, Kili, What've you done this time?"

"What have I-I didn't do anything!"

"Really?" Fili rubbed a hand over his eyes. "I've never seen uncle looking so unhappy with a plate of food in his hands, and you look like you did when you were fifteen years old and uncle scolded you for eating before dinner."

Kili huffed, and crossed him arms, leaning back in his seat. "Well, that's just 'cuz he looked at me as if I had done something terrible. But I swear, I haven't done anything yet this morning."

Gwen shrugged, setting her dagger down. "I don't really think he's angry at you. I think he's upset that your schedules getting knocked off course. That, and, the fact that he almost lost Bilbo for good."

Fili reached for the last of Kili's bread slices, silencing his younger brother's protests with a rough shove. "More, I'd say he's upset we _found_ Bilbo."

She seemed to consider this for a moment, but shook her head. "He wants you to think that. But it definitely would have bothered him. Losing any of his company would."

Kili raised a brow, clutching his tea mug to his chest, lest that too, be taken from him. "How do you figure?"

"Well, he's male. All of you, dwarf, human, elf, are the same. If you've been given the task to protect something or someone, you'll go to any lengths to ensure they do stay safe."

Kili couldn't really argue with that.

"Who trusted you with a sword, anyway?" Fili asked, turning a skeptical eye to the weapons on the table.

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Who trusted _you_ with a sword?"

"Two swords, actually," he said, grinning gleefully. If there was anything his brother loved, it was talking about his numerous weapons.

She raised a brow. "And that's supposed to make me feel better?"

Fili made a face at her. "You're just jealous."

"Of what?" she scoffed. "I don't _need_ two swords to fight. I'm quite effective with just the one."

"You're telling me you _fight_ with that thing? I've had play swords less fragile than that."

A glint came up in Gwen's eye, and her voice took on a challenging tone. "Prove it, then."

Fili leaned back into his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "Prove what?"

"That you're such a brilliant fighter."

He cocked a brow, interest sparking across his features. "Are you suggesting we have a bit of a spar?"

She smirked. "I could be."

"Let's do it. Then, once I've won, perhaps I can teach you how to use a _real_ sword."

She slid her chair out as she stood. "We'll see, master dwarf. I might surprise you."

Fili stood up too, reaching down to pull the mug out of Kili's hands. Kili merely frowned as his brother tossed back a long drag. When he had lowered the mug, he made a face, wiping over his mouth with the back of his sleeve. "That tastes awful."

Kili reached up and yanked his now near-empty mug back. "That's what you get for nicking things off of me."

By then, Gwen had found a fairly wide space in between the tables, and was stretching her muscles out. Kili found himself quickly entranced by the way the neck of her shirt slid aside to reveal smooth, defined collarbones. The way the musculature of her arms shifted and flexed with each of her movements. The way her hair gleamed dully in the light, cascading down the gentle arch of her spine. The way her pale fingers wrapped about her sword's grip as she slashed it experimentally a few times.

"It's rude to stare, you know, brother."

Kili's eyes broke away from her to look up at Fili, who had an amused smirk on his face.

"What-" Kili quickly realized what he had been referring to, and rolled his eyes. "Oh, shut it." He adamantly, and somewhat successfully ignored the heat struggling to rise on his cheeks. It was only natural that he'd be fascinated by the sight of a woman, after spending so much time around his companions. It was no different from when he was ogling those elves in Rivendell.

"You letting your brother know your last wishes?" Gwen called over to them.

"No," Fili scoffed in return. "But you might wanna do so."

She snorted, before jerking her head to beckon him over. As he strode towards the space, he drew both of his swords, looking her in the eye, before twisting them both in his hands a bit.

"Fancy," she commented.

"Scared?"

"Not a chance."

They began circling each other, and Kili turned about in his seat, watching with interest. He could tell they were both taking careful note of each other's movements, waiting for some sort of twitch that might warn them of an attack. "Let me know if I hurt you," Fili warned.

"That shouldn't be a problem."

Fili took the opportunity then, rushing a few steps forward and swinging at her knees with his right blade. She nimbly jumped back a step, but Fili countered quickly, cutting diagonally at her with his other sword. She twisted away, but Kili already saw a problem with this fight. Gwen would almost assuredly have to remain on the offense. She only had one weapon to Fili's two, and her height would make it difficult to launch much of an offensive attack. Her best hope would be to somehow strip Fili of one of his weapons, or else she would have to be dancing over his swords for the remainder of the fight.

Fili swung again, forcing Gwen back another wide step. Soon, she would be backed up against a table. It seemed she was aware of this though, and when she was pushed back once more, she rocked her weight backwards, rolling onto the top of the table. She twisted about then, so she was crouching, looking down at Fili. His brow crumpled, and Kili could practically see the thoughts whirling through his head. It was still near impossible for Gwen to launch an offensive, especially with the added height of the table. She seemed to have something planned, though, and the last thing Fili wanted was to play right into her trap.

He twisted the swords once or twice in his grasp, before making up his mind and darting forward, slashing his sword out across the table at her. She sprang up to her feet before the swing even neared her, stomping down hard down onto the blade, a few inches from Fili's hand. Before he had the chance to counter strike with the weapon in his other hand, she swept her own blade down, dangerously close to his face. He was forced to jerk away, the sword she had clamped to the table yanking out of his grasp. She kicked it out beside her, and it hit the floor with a clatter, sliding away underneath the next table over.

Fili's jaw clenched, his face hardening, and he tossed his only sword from his left hand to his more nimble right. He didn't even give her the chance to fully recover her balance when she'd hopped back to the ground, darting towards her, twirling his blade in a frenzy. Without warning, he struck out, swinging for her left side. She was barely able to bat the blade away with the flat of her sword, and Fili quickly readjusted his grip, before looping back around for a strike towards her right shin. She had to jerk her leg away from this, and Kili noticed her wobble a little, her balance beginning to give way. She tried for a counterstrike then, going in a diagonal move towards Fili's shoulder, but he noticed in the nick of time, swaying to avoid her blow.

He jabbed out towards her knee, and she was forced to take another staggering step back. Fili seemed to have a plan then, and continued to strike at her, not giving her time to recover her balance in the flurry of steel. In a few heartbeats, she was nearly backed up to the same table as before, and Fili jolted closer towards her, smacking her sword away with his from where it tried to rise up in order to fend him off, then kicking his own foot out to sweep hers out from under her.

Gwen let go of her blade in favor of catching herself with a hand on the edge of the table, but before she was able to right herself, Fili had leveled his blade under her chin.

Their breaths both heaved as they stared each other down, and a few long moments passed, before wide smiles broke out on both their faces, and Fili lowered his sword. "Good fight. "

"I admit, I am impressed," she breathed.

"I should hope so," Fili scoffed, taking a few steps away from her. "I did defeat you after all."

She wrinkled her nose a little, as she stood back up onto her feet. "I blame that on a lack of recent practice on my part."

Fili sheathed his sword, before leaning over to pick up hers. "I had thought you'd be a sore loser."

"And I thought you'd be an even worse winner," she shot back.

"Ah, so you knew I'd win from the beginning then," he said as he held out the blade to her.

She took it from him, but rolled her eyes. "Oh, don't you go inflating your ego even more."

Fili chuckled as he went to fetch his own sword that had been cast aside. "Hard not to, when you're fantastic as I am."

Gwen went back to Kili then, settling heavily into her chair, breaths slowly returning to normal.

"I'm impressed," Kili said. "You've lasted longer than many would."

She huffed. "I'm not used to fighting without the end goal of killing my opponent. Plus, I haven't fought a dwarf in ages."

"Oh aye, blame it on that," Fili said as he secured his other sword in his sheath and dropped into his chair.

"I will, thank you."

Kili nudged his brother with his elbow. "You had to fight a little harder than you thought you would." Fili opened his mouth to protest, but Kili cut him off. "I saw it on your face."

Fili rolled his eyes and turned to Gwen, who was looking a bit smug now. "Alright, that table trick threw me a bit."

She smiled. "I couldn't think of much else to do. You're quick for a dwarf."

"For a dwarf?!" His brother gasped, leaning back in his seat, aghast. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you do have a bit of a reputation of being...slower than the other races."

Kili scoffed. "A rumor spread by those bitter and jealous, after having been defeated by their dwarven opponent."

"Oh, really?"

"Of course." He smirked. "I'm as fast-or faster-than any man you could meet."

"You seem rather confident," she said, looking at him skeptically.

"I've reason to."

"How about a bit of a fight between the two of you?" Fili suggested. "Unless, of course, you're getting _tired,_ dear lady Gwen."

She stood suddenly, slamming her hands down onto the table, that ferocious glint coming back into her eyes. "Not a chance, Master Dwarf. That was hardly a warm up for me." She looked to Kili then. "Well? You up for it?"

Kili's fingers twitched eagerly, longing to hold a blade. He hadn't had the chance just to spar without any actual life threatening danger in _weeks,_ and he was itching for a fight. He didn't allow any of this to show on his face though, as he spoke. "I haven't my sword on me."

She lifted a brow. "Aren't you going to go get it, then?"

Kili shrugged, forcing himself not to shoot to his feet too quickly. Far from being hung over, he was bursting with energy now. He was soon creaking up the staircase. This fight had to be at least a bit of a challenge. If this girl was able to give his brother some of trouble, especially after being so 'out of practice' as she claimed, she was sure to prove an interesting opponent. Besides, Kili could have practically seen the thoughts working in her head at the idea of another duel. This time, she would have a plan.

When he reached the door to his room, it swung open, unlocked. He might have been troubled by this, but the danger felt little in this inn, so he figured one door left unlocked couldn't really cause too much trouble. Hurrying in, he let the door fall shut, wincing at the sound of it. He went for the pile of his coats, shuffling through them till he came to the familiar leather of his sheath. As he picked it up, he gave it a bit of a toss, before drawing out the length of the blade. It felt good and heavy in his grip, especially compared to the feather weight of Gwen's sword. After a few experimental swings, feeling the sharp edge cut cleanly through the cold air of the room, he slid it back into the sheath, and left the room, closing the door a little more quietly on his way out.

A voice spoke suddenly from the hallway. "Kili? What're you doing?"

It was Ori, rubbing blearily at his eyes. His expression turned astonished, as well as fearful when he saw the weapon in Kili's grasp. "What-why've you got your sword? Is something happening? Oh, I didn't hear anything, so I didn't-"

"No, everything's fine," Kili assured him, chuckling. "We've just been doing a bit of sparring."

The dwarf frowned. "In your room?

"No, no. Down in the tavern."

"Who's down there with you, then?"

"Fili and Gwen. And well, Bofur, I suppose, but he's not exactly conscious."

Ori blinked, a bit of a smile coming upon his face. "Do you think I could watch? I do always love seeing proper fighting."

Kili shrugged. "If you'd like."

Then, he was headed for the stairs, forcing himself to keep a normal walking pace, instead of running down the hall like he wished. When he emerged back into the tavern, Gwen had cleared a bit larger of a space for them, and was seated on a bench, one leg pulled up against her chest, her sword lying at her side, attention rapt upon something Fili was saying.

"This was of course, just after he had managed to drop our best anvil into the hottest part of the forge. Uncle was _furious._ That had cost him-" Fili looked up, upon noticing his brother, a cheeky grin appearing on his face. "Oh, nice of you to show up, Kili."

"I've only been half a minute."

Gwen stood. "Half a minute too long."

Kili smirked as he drew his sword, setting the sheath on the table next to Fili. "Someone's eager."

"Eager to beat you, anyway."

He gave the pommel of his sword a spin in his grip. "We'll see."

She snorted as she took up her weapon as well. "What is it with you and your brother and twirling your blades about?"

"Some find it intimidating."

"Really? Because others find it daft."

She lunged then, swinging her sword out in an arc at his face. Kili jerked back, then raised his blade in time to throw off her next attack, a sweep towards his stomach. She took a wide step so she was nearly behind him, but Kili was able to twist about in time to fend off another swing. It seemed like she had gained her bearings when it came to fighting someone who hardly came up to her shoulders.

He made an attempt at a counter-attack, but she hopped nimbly out of the way. In a moment, she'd come back at him quickly, with a vicious downward slash at his chest. He narrowly avoided it, the sharp edge of the blade barely a hair-width away from his shirt. She took another wide step to get to his defenseless back, but Kili was ready for this, twisting around to face her, and jabbing up at her stomach. She was forced to divert her blade from swinging at him to push the end of his sword away from her.

However, she quickly shifted the movement of her blade, stepping closer to slash it back down at him. He fumbled with his sword for a moment, before raising it to his defense. Steel screeched against steel terribly, as their blades locked together. It was clear that Kili was the stronger of the two, but Gwen used her height against him, pushing down hard, trying to force him to his knees. He adjusted his grip a little as he resisted, trying to come up with a plan. If they carried on just like this, there was no way he could get to the offensive.

It seemed she was ahead of him though, and the pressure suddenly alleviated from his blade. Before he could quite figure out what had happened though, a solid kick landed in the center of his chest and he was tumbling back. He had the sense as he fell, though, to keep his sword gripped in his hand. He saw an opportunity, as she tried to recover her balance from the high kick she had given him, and rolled over, reaching out for her ankle. She noticed this, and danced out of the way, but he brought his other arm over then, slashing across the floor to her other foot.

She finally lost her balance, the sword clattering out of her grasp as she fell back onto her bum. As Kili swung out again at her, she twisted, away, before rolling herself on top of him. Kili tried to ward her away by bringing up his blade, but she caught his wrist, slamming it the ground, rolling him onto his back under her. The weapon skidded out of his fingertips. Seeing that Gwen was about to try and grab for it, he reached up, grabbing her at the ribs, and pushing her over to the side. Soon he had her off of him and was scrambling up to his hands and knees, looking about frantically for where his sword had gone off to.

He spotted it after a moment or two, nearly under a table a few feet away. He was crawling towards it, when a glint caught the corner of his eye. He jerked up his gaze to see that Gwen was staggering to her feet a bit away, her sword now back in her grasp. With a sudden surge of adrenaline, he shot to his feet, barreling towards her. As they both tumbled back to the floor, he managed to wrestle the blade out of her grasp, but before he was able to wrench it around to set the edge at her throat, she had gotten ahold of his wrist, and was pinching into the tendons there painfully. A sudden shot of numbness went into his fingers, and he was forced to let go of the blade. Gwen wasted no time, twisting them both about so she had him under her. She pinned both his wrists to the ground on either side of his head, pinning his legs down with her shins.

Kili struggled for a moment, but his burning muscles gave up soon. She grinned down at him, locks of hair sliding off her back to fall around them, creating almost a curtain. "Seems like I've won, Master Dwarf."

Kili smirked up at her, his heart still thudding in his chest. "You just wanted to get me on the ground like this so you could kiss me."

Her brow lifted. "Is that what you think I've got you here for?"

"Perhaps."

Suddenly, she was leaning down a little closer, and the world narrowed, till it contained just her. The light straining through her hair cast shadows across her pale skin, a clean, light sort of scent filling his nostrils, making is head feel a little floaty. His breath caught in his chest as her face neared his, only inches away now. Her lips were so close to his, the soft, warmth of her breath washing over his face, bringing goosebumps out of his skin. She smirked. "Not a chance."

His mind scrambled as she disappeared quickly from above him, cool air rushing into the space where she had been. What was she talking about? Not a chance of what?

He heard her voice again, now from above him. "Kili? Would you like help up or are you just going to lie there like that all day?"

It clicked in his mind, and he realized she was holding her hand out, offering him help up. He shook his head a little as he sat up, clearing that odd feeling from his skull. She heaved him to his feet, and voices started immediately. "Let the little lass beat you?

"You're getting rusty, brother."

He turned about to see Ori and Nori now seated at the table with Fili. He rolled his eyes, going to fetch his sword. "Oh, shut it. She was warmed up from fighting with you once, Fili. I was going in cold."

Gwen clapped him on the back before going to sit on a bench near the table where the others were. "Blame it on that then."

Kili huffed, before going to sit next to his brother. "What're you two doing down here already, anyway?" he asked, referring to Ori and Nori.

"Well," Ori replied. "You did tell me I could watch."

"And I'm glad you did," Gwen said. "More witnesses to his crushing defeat."

"Oh, you've only won once," Kili told her. "No sense being so smug."

"Don't give me that," she laughed. "You would've been even worse had you won. Let me have my fun."

"She did win, fair, brother," Fili said, shrugging.

"She bloody _kicked_ me!" Kili protested.

His brother looked to be trying not to laugh. "That's true. And _you_ bloody tackled her."

Kili huffed. "I didn't have much of a choice."

"Watch out for him," Fili said suddenly, looking over Kili's shoulder. "He'll nick anything off of you if you're not careful."

Kili turned to see that Gwen and Nori were speaking, Nori inspecting her dagger.

Gwen paused, hearing Fili's words and gave the thief of a dwarf a stern look. He sighed, setting her knife down on the table. "Seems a _bit_ of exaggeration."

"You once stole the bead off my hair," Fili deadpanned.

Nori rolled his eyes. "That was only once. And it was on a bet."

A sudden look of astonishment bloomed on Gwen's face and she leaned down, reaching for something at her feet. She straitened quickly, giving Nori an accusatory look. "You took the knife out of my boot!"

Nori winced, giving her a sheepish look as he drew the small blade out of his sleeve. "You noticed then."

"I should hope so!"

Kili snickered as she stared at him, both baffled and offended. "When'd you even take it?"

"When you first sat down."

Gwen secured the knife back into her boot, giving Nori a suspicious look. "Is there anything else you've stole from me?"

"I wouldn't say stole, " he began. " _Borrowed_ , really..."

She frowned. "What else did you take?"

Nori put his hands up in defense. "Nothing, I swear."

"Your ring!" Ori suddenly burst out. He quickly flinched away from his brother, turning red.

Nori leaned his head back, groaning. "Ori, what've I told you? You're _not_ supposed to tell people when I...borrow things from them!"

"You stole my-" Gwen sputtered, looking, astonished, at her bare right hand. "It was on my finger."

"Actually," Fili added. "You'd left it on the table before you started fighting with Kili."

She stared at them all for a moment, then sighed, rubbing a hand over her face, before holding her palm out. "Can I just have it back?"

Seeming a little guilty, Nori drew something out of his pocket and dropped it into her palm, Gwen quickly slid it in place over her finger before turning to Ori. "Ori, did he 'borrow' anything else?"

"Don't believe so, ma'am," he replied in a small voice.

She gave Nori a hard look. "Well, did you? I've already beat one dwarf today, and I'm not afraid to beat another."

"What's this about beating dwarves?" a rough voice said from the corner.

Kili looked up to see that Bofur had finally woken, and was dragging himself to his feet, hair amess, and hat askew. "I've taken it up," Gwen told him, without hesitating. "Found it's not too difficult."

"Ah," he said, yawning as he stumbled towards them. "You're that lass that saved Bilbo last night, right?"

"The one and only."

"So," Bofur began, as he eased himself down into his seat. "You'd rescue a hobbit, but beat a dwarf?"

Her eyes locked onto Kili's and she smirked a bit. "Only if they deserve it."

Bofur chuckled. "Oh, what've you done now, Kili?"

"Actually," Fili spoke up. "I was the one that suggested they face off."

"So you fought a lass?" he asked Kili, a brow shooting up.

"Fili fought her first," Kili grumbled.

"And won," Fili added smugly.

Bofur looked at Kili for a few moments, before shrugging. "You always weren't quite as good at swordplay." Before Kili could protest, he had stood. "Well, I'm off to fetch some breakfast, if any of you'd like to come with me."

Soon, he was gone, taking Nori, Ori and Fili with him, up to the barkeep. He and Gwen sat in silence for a few moments, before she spoke up. "I hope I didn't hurt you."

Kili chuckled, turning to face her. "Worry not. Only thing damaged is my ego."

"You fought well."

He shrugged. "You're the one who ended up winning though."

She smiled. "So I fought better."

* * *

 _ **And thus concludes chapter two! I really hope you enjoyed it. I am extremely grateful for the faves/reviews/follows I got on last chapter. Each one made my day. If you have the time, I'd love to hear what you thought of this chapter. Constructive criticism is always appreciated. Have a wonderful week!**_

 _ **Next chapter: An Evening Inn**_


	3. An Evening Inn

_**Tolkien and Peter Jackson own the rights to**_ **The Hobbit** _ **. I do not. 'nuff said.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER THREE**

AN EVENING INN

Kili enjoyed rest just as much-possibly _more_ than most people, but even he was growing bored. He had talked to his traveling companions, Gwen, even the innkeep for a good couple of hours. He had taken a long nap. He had sharpened and cleaned all of his weapons and gear, including re-stringing his bow. He had practiced with all the weapons he could feasibly use within the walls of the tavern. He had bathed himself, and washed all of his clothes out. He had helped Fili re-braid his hair. He had even tried braiding his _own_ hair. (A failed effort) And the sun hadn't completely set yet.

It was still snowing, too. It seemed that the storm was to continue at least for the rest of the evening. They would probably have to spend another full day and night cooped up in the inn until it would be safe to leave. At first, the idea of a stay in a warm, safe inn, out of the weather, had seemed brilliant, a very welcome rest, but now it was starting to feel more like a prison sentence.

Kili sighed, as his eyes bored out the window. The sky was darkening slowly, though no sunset could be seen through the veil of pale clouds. Shame. Up in the mountains, sunsets always were lovelier.

The room was very quiet. In fact, all he could really hear was the crystalline sort of sound of flecks of snow catching the window. Noise drifted up through the floor from the tavern though. Talking. Occasional laughter. Kili briefly considered going back down, and finding someone to talk to, but quickly dismissed the idea. It felt as if he was out of things to talk _about._

The sound of the door opening caught his drifting attention, and he looked over to see Fili, leaning into the doorway. "Brother?'"

Kili sighed and stood. It seemed it was time for him to return to the real world. "Yes?"

"We were all wondering where you'd gone off to."

"Right here," Kili replied. "Haven't much else where to go."

Fili rolled his eyes at his brother's dismal demeanor. "At least we're not running for our lives."

"I almost rather would be," he grumbled.

Fili scoffed. "You say that now, but in a week from tomorrow when we're running from whatever vicious beast is on our tail, you'll regret having said that. But come on down now. Balin's about to tell a story we haven't heard about Thorin, and it's dinner time."

That was able to get him to his feet. Stories of his uncle's younger years had always been his favorite. Though the man was rather stern and unmoving after all these years, Thorin had apparently been even more wild than Fili and Kili while he was still living in Erebor. Kili followed his brother down the stairs, into the common room. It was warm and merry, the fire crackling happily on the side of the room, the buzz of conversation thick in the air.

A quick scan showed most of his companions gathered by the fire, listening, spellbound, to Balin. Thorin was in this crowd, though he pretended not to be listening to the tales being told about him. The innkeeper and the bartender were both behind the bar, chatting to each other. The only other person he saw in the common room was a tall man with fair hair and a serious gaze. Kili had tried to start a conversation with him earlier, but the man had been unresponsive, giving short, annoyed answers until he left Kili in favor of retreating up the stairs. Almost surprisingly, Gwen was nowhere to be found. She had been about all day...perhaps she was just having a bit of a rest in her room.

Fili ushered Kili to a seat at Dori's side, where he could hear Balin's voice. "-after only a _day!_ He was so serious, about it too. Could've sworn he'd decided he'd found his one and only."

A burst of laughter rose up, and Kili found himself tilting back in his chair a little, to peer up the staircase. Fili saw this, and frowned, lifting a brow. "What's on your mind?"

Kili tore his gaze from the stairs, shaking his head. "Just wondering where Gwen's gotten to."

Fili shrugged. "She'll be down soon, I'm sure." Suddenly, a mischievous glint appeared in his eye. "Funny you noticed her absence, brother. No one else mentioned anything."

Kili stiffened. Why had he noticed she was gone? For some sort of reason he felt his cheeks warming a bit...perhaps he'd caught a cold. Fili was still giving him a strange, somehow superior, and entirely irritating look, so Kili scoffed, and turned his attention back to the story. Apparently, when Thorin was merely 23, some distant relation of his, a pretty dwarven lass from the Iron Hills had come to visit. Thorin had taken an immediate liking to her, and the main part of the story consisted of the young dwarf's many efforts to gain her attention. They were midway through a bit where he had decided to try to find her a gem from the mines to give her as a gift. Thorin had just managed to get himself stranded in an abandoned mine shaft at night, with only a spade and a half-cooked rabbit on his person, when a hand nudged Kili's shoulder. He looked back to see Gwen, in a chair behind him and his brother. "Who is this we're talking about?"

A burst of laughter rang out, and Kili replied loudly enough for her to hear him over the uproar. "Thorin."

Her eyes went wide. "You're joking."

"He's not, actually," Fili cut in. "Balin always has the best stories about uncle before he turned so serious."

Her gaze shifted to Thorin, who was looking pointedly into the fire, pretending to ignore the remarks shot in his direction. A smile quirked at her lips for a moment and Kili found himself smiling a bit as well.

The tale ended magnificently, with Thorin half naked, a quarter of a rabbit and a spade bent into a star-shape tucked into his belt, stumbling into his father's bed chambers at an ungodly hour of the morning. Thorin had retained his stoic expression, but Kili could have sworn he saw a blush light up his cheeks once or twice. Gwen had found a place in between Kili and Fili, and was laughing along with the rest of them. Only Dwalin still seemed a little suspicious of her, but he generally seemed like that with everyone. But that might just be attributed to the weight of his brow, or the vicious, glinting baldness of the top of his head.

"Perhaps after supper, I'll recount to our guest here," Balin began, gesturing towards Gwen with a bit of a cheeky smile. "A few tales of our two young warrior's youths."

Both Fili and Kili blanched.

Fili tried to cover it with a chuckle. "Ah, that seems unnecessary."

"Yes," Kili agreed. "I'd quite like to hear that one about Thorin losing his mum's wedding gown again."

"No, no," Gwen countered, speaking to Balin. "I think something about Fili and Kili could be wonderful."

"Well," the elderly dwarf seemed pleased by her eagerness. "There's the one where they got stuck up the biggest pine tree in the Blue Mountains. Or the one where they both fell for the same lass."

A grin spread onto Gwen's lips, as both Kili and Fili flushed a little. She chuckled. "The second one sound like it could prove interesting."

Seeing the looks of embarrassed horror on the two brother's faces, the whole group broke out roaring with laughter. They all knew this tale well, especially Fili and Kili, who'd lived through it, and it was surely a cringe-worthy story. One both brothers wished they could erase from their memories.

Before Balin could launch into the story, Fili slid his chair back. "Well, I'll be checking on dinner then, if you're telling _that_ one."

Kili backed away as well. "And I'm going with him."

Gwen leaned over to catch his wrist, looking up at him with wide, imploring eyes. "Oh, come on. Stay."

He shook her off, scoffing. "Not for the world. This isn't the sort of event I'm fond of remembering."

The brothers made for the bar then, desperate to escape before the story started. It was unattended when they arrived, so they hauled themselves up onto the tall stools placed there. Fili looked loathingly across the room to Balin. "Can't believe he'd bring that up."

Kili grunted in agreement.

The story, in question, though he hesitated to recall it, basically consisted of he and his brother both deciding they were absolutely in love with the same girl, who had just arrived in the Blue Mountains. After a few days of trying to impress her, they had discovered their mutual fondness for her, and rashly decided their conflict was worthy of a duel between the two of them in the center of town, on the condition that the winner would gain the right to her hand in marriage. They had made an absurdly large deal about it, and had found out only once everyone was there to watch them that this girl was not only their second cousin, but also a good twenty five years their senior, and already betrothed to some princeling in the Iron Hills. It was quite possibly one of the most humiliating series of moments in Kili's life. It was rivaled only by the forge incident, but Kili had long ago sworn to never re-think that one.

"At least Gwen seems to be enjoying it," Fili pointed out, tone still a bit sullen.

He was right. She was furiously stifling laughter, hand clamped over her mouth, cheeks flushing red.

There was a pause before Fili casually said, "She's pretty."

Kili frowned. "Who's pretty?"

Fili rolled his eyes. "Don't you play daft with me. Gwen."

"Really?" Kili glanced back at her. "Didn't think she was your type."

"Oh, she's not," Fili quickly assured him. "But," a sly grin slid on to his lips. "She's certainly yours."

Kili scoffed. "I'd like to think I don't really _have_ a type. But even if I did, she wouldn't be it."

"Right," Fili nodded sagely. "Rivendell. You like elves."

Kili tried not to blush at the proposition, punching his brother hard in the arm. "I do _not_ bloody like _elves!"_

Fili flinched away, rubbing at his newly bruised arm. "No need to overreact! I was just teasing."

"Thorin'd skin me alive if he heard you saying something like that," Kili sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face.

"Ah, there isn't a way in the world he could have heard that."

"Could have heard what, exactly?"

They both startled, and twisted about to see none other than their uncle, an almost palpable cloud of irritation about him. Kili desperately tried to calm his heartbeat, stumbling over words and trying not to sound guilty. "Th...That bit of the story."

"Yes," Fili quickly jumped in. "Balin. There was no way that he could've heard us having that conversation."

Thorin raised a brow, but seemed satisfied enough with the brother's response. There was inaudible sigh of relief as he took a seat next to Fili. "What's gotten the two of you separated from the group, anyway?"

"They were telling the story," Kili explained.

"The Hilga one," Fili added, with gritted teeth.

It seemed suspiciously like the dark and moody dwarf king was stifling a chuckle. He was certainly trying to suppress a smile, with varying degrees of success. "Ah, that one."

Despite the unpleasantness of the memory, Kili found himself chuckling a bit. It was nice, seeing his uncle smiling. Honestly, just talking to him was refreshing. It felt like it had been _ages_ since he'd just sat down with them and had a conversation. Not about the quest, or some other serious matter, just _talked._

"Don't laugh!" Fili protested. "That was a mentally scarring event!"

"Don't be dramatic." Thorin bit out, though he was definitely struggling against a grin now.

"Dra-dramatic-" Kili spluttered. "Hardly dramatic! That was the single most embarrassing moment in my life!"

"What about the Gelna one?" Thorin suggested, though he kept his voice low.

Kili flinched, a blush coming up on his cheeks, as unwelcome memories flooded his thoughts. "Now, why, in Durin's name would you bring that up?"

"Or how about the one that wasn't even a lass?" Fili added. "What was his name? Dairin? No, I think it-"

"I do _not_ need to remember the name!" Kili spat. "Much less the actual event. Now can we please stop playing the 'let's embarrass Kili game'? I'm not enjoying it much!"

This finally seemed to get Thorin to crack, his face turning down to the bar, shoulders shaking with laughter. Kili had to admit, that took a massive weight off his heart, even if it was at his own expense. He worried about Thorin sometimes. He could be too serious for his own good.

"But there are _so_ many more even better stories to remember!" Fili chuckled, at Kili's stormy expression. "Sorry brother, you're just good at being foolish."

Kili huffed, and turned his gaze to the bar top, grumpily scratching one of his stubby fingernails into a large knot in the wood. As he...well, it wasn't pouting, but...as he _brooded_ , the happiness of the situation finally washed over him. He was well rested, well fed, out of the cold, and with the people he loved most in the world, on a quest the poets would sing about in years to come. Life was...it was good.

* * *

It can be thought that any proper living soul with a good meal in their stomach will be significantly happier than before they had that meal in them. Kili was inclined to agree. He could feel the crackling warmth from the fire squeezing the last of the winter's chill out of his bones. A near full mug of ale rested in his lap. His brother was across the room a bit, laughing uproariously at something Kili hadn't heard. Thorin sat in a chair next to the hearth, scanning over the tavern with a stern, but not entirely unhappy gaze. Bilbo was deep in a discussion with Ori. Knowing the two of them, they were probably discussing the most dazzling moments in the process of knitting a scarf. The rest of his companions were scattered about the room, talking, laughing, and enjoying the chance to sit and discuss things of little actual importance, but of great pleasure. He chuckled, seeing that Gloin had trapped Gwen, proudly showing her the frame he carried with a sketch of his wife and child. Gwen seemed to be genuinely interested though, a soft smile permeating her expression.

Suddenly, out of the chatter of the room, one voice broke out. It was Bofur, who, true to his character, had had a little bit more to drink than was probably good for him. The table appeared too tall for him to jump up onto yet, so he resigned himself to standing, planting his palms hard on the table and breaking into a familiar song.

 _There's an inn, there's an inn, there's a merry old inn,_

 _Beneath an old gray hill,_

 _And there they brew-_

"Shut up with that caterwauling, would you?" Fili shouted out.

Kili was inclined to agree. If it was possible, it seemed Bofur was even _more_ off-tune than he had been in Rivendell. Kili would have thrown something, but all he really had was his ale, and that was certainly not going to get wasted.

Bofur, unfazed by the loud complaints around him, began beating a haphazard rhythm on the table as he continued.

 _-a beer so brown_

 _That the man in the moon himself came down,_

 _One night to drink his fill_

 _The ostler had a tipsy cat_

 _That plays a five-string fiddle;_

 _Up and down he saws his bow,_

 _Now squeaking high, now purring low,_

 _Now sawing in the middle._

By the third verse, most of them gave in, howling along with the tipsy dwarf.

 _So the cat on the fiddle played hey-diddle-diddle,_

 _A jig that would wake the dead;_

 _He squeaked and sawed and quickened the tune,_

 _While the landlord shook the man in the moon,_

 _"It's after three!" he said._

Most of them broke off then, roaring with laughter, and clapping on the few who had decided to go through the whole thing again. Gwen suddenly appeared at Kili's side, crouching next to his chair. "Is this the famed dwarven singing I've heard so much about?"

"Well," Kili explained, leaning down to speak in her ear over the din. "This is the famed dwarven _drunken_ singing."

She nodded slowly. "I see. Do you think-"

An even louder burst came up, and Kili saw the innkeep bustle out of a back room in a few moments, with what appeared to be an instrument in his hand. Kili couldn't particularly remember seeing it before, but it reminded him some of a lute, but was a little smaller, and rounder. The man sat himself on a stool near Bofur, and after a moment of speaking, began plucking at the strange instrument's strings. A twangy sort of melody came out, and soon Bofur was signing along with it. Kili didn't quite catch the full meaning of it, due to the occasional uproar from the other dwarves in the room, and the many slurred words, but he interpreted it to be a tale of great woe. A lady, desperately in love with some young warrior, dressing up as a lad to go off to war with her lover. An interesting set-up, but Kili was near positive that Bofur was just making it up at the end, as the trees began summoning little pixies out of the river.

A hand clapped his shoulder and he looked up to see Fili, settling himself into the seat next to Gwen. "Kili, Gwen!''

She nodded, and Kili grinned in reply. Fili leaned in conspiratorially to her. "I swear, not all of us are as terrible as him."

"Good," she replied, not taking her eyes from what seemed to be a dance in the middle of two verses of the song being sung.

"Kili and I are actually a fair hand at the fiddle."

She looked up then, some surprise evident in her eyes. "Really? I hadn't pinned you two as 'musician' types."

Kili scoffed. "Just because we're brilliant warriors, doesn't mean we can't excel at the arts too."

"Of course," she sighed, rolling her eyes.

"What about you?" Fili prompted. "D'you play?"

Gwen shrugged. "Never really had the time or money to put into it. I sing a bit though."

"Do you?" Fili asked, eyes lighting up.

"You'll have to sing for us later, then," Kili told her.

She quirked a brow. "You dwarves are a rather demanding folk."

Fili shot her a wink. "We just know you'd be lovely."

"I swear, the only language you two can speak is that of flirting," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Khuzdul, too," Kili corrected her. "We're not daft."

"It's really only around pretty lasses like you," Fili explained. "Dwalin'd spear us if we tried any of this sort of stuff on him."

Gwen huffed. "Perhaps _I_ should spear the both of you then, if it'd get you to stop."

"Would you like this seat, Miss Gwen?"

They both looked up to the new speaker, and found Bilbo, gesturing to the seat that Fili had just left. She smiled as she stood off the floor. "You know, Mr. Baggins, I actually would. At least we've one gentleman here," she said, sending a pointed look at Kili.

He put his hands up in defense. "I had assumed since you didn't want one yesterday, that you wouldn't mind sitting-"

She cut him off, as she sat down in the offered seat. "Don't bother trying for excuses." She twisted about in her seat, before bringing a chair over her head and setting it down a bit in front of her. "Here, Bilbo."

"Oh, thank you very much." The hobbit happily sat down. He was looking much better than last night. Like most of them, he had gotten a bath, and his cheeks were flushed with warmth and ale, a smile coming easily onto his lips. He fumbled with a small pouch and his pipe in his lap as he spoke. "Although the circumstances may be less than ideal, it is certainly wonderful to have a bit of a rest here."

"It's been lovely, having someone to speak to. Travelling gets tedious quickly when you haven't companions," Gwen said, leaning back in her seat.

Kili raised a brow. "So you are alone, then?"

"Does it seem like I've any others with me?"

"Well, no." Kili frowned. "But it is a little odd, for a little lass like you to be wandering about the countryside alone."

Bilbo leveled a stern look at Kili as he tapped the dried leaves from his pouch into his pipe. "You really shouldn't pry."

Gwen smiled. "Exactly."

He nodded wisely, closing up the pouch again. "If there's one thing you learn in the Shire, it's that you shouldn't directly stick your nose into other's business."

"So, I could do it _in_ directly?" Kili asked.

Bilbo shrugged. "I've found it best not to pry at all. Keep to yourself and let others keep to themselves."

Kili huffed. It seemed he was outnumbered on this matter. But it certainly was odd that Gwen was travelling unaccompanied. She had proved herself a capable enough fighter earlier, but she could only deal with so many dangers at once. Surely, she could handle a stray animal, maybe a lone bandit, but a pack of orcs would spell her end.

In his musing, Kili missed the next few words spoken, but it seemed that Bilbo had gotten up to light his pipe. "He's good little fellow," Gwen said, smiling fondly after him.

"Aye," Kili agreed. "He's gotten us out of a bit of trouble before."

Her eyes sparked a bit in curiosity, and she leaned in closer. It seemed he had gained her attention with that. "What sort of trouble would this be?"

"Among a few other things, trolls," he told her, sounding nonchalant.

"Really? He saved you from trolls? Bilbo?"

"He's a quick thinker. Though our wizard did most of the saving, Bilbo was able to keep them from eating us until he was there to save us."

"Now you _have_ to tell me the story," she insisted, tone betraying her eagerness.

"What's this?" Bilbo asked as he sat back down in his chair, taking a drag from his now lit pipe.

"Something about trolls," Gwen explained. "Am I to understand you were a bit of a hero?"

The hobbit flushed a little and chuckled nervously, as he breathed a puff of swirling smoke out. "A hero...well, I don't know about that, but I did manage to talk their ears off till we were rescued."

She turned back to Kili. "Will you just tell me the story already?"

"Well..." he hesitated. "I'm not exactly sure if I'm the person you'd want recounting it..."

Bilbo snorted. "You're just upset that it was your foolishness that got us into trouble."

Kili sighed. Gwen would never let it go after hearing that. He set his shoulders, before turning to the girl. "You want a story? Well, I'll give you a story."

He launched into an elaborate retelling then, starting from where he and his brother were a bit distracted from their duties by the prospect of some hunting. He may have exaggerated a few bits, but Bilbo was there to correct the ones deemed too wild. Gwen certainly seemed to be entertained by it as well. Her dark eyes flashed in the firelight, attention focused almost entirely on his words. Fili returned near the end of the tale to help illustrate the utter stupidity of the trolls. At the mention of skinning dwarves, Gwen suppressed a snort of laughter. "Skinning? I'll credit your creativity under pressure, but don't you think you could've gone with something a little less...painful?"

Bilbo huffed. "Better than if I'd said to take all their hair out first."

"We all protested as well, Gwen," Kili explained. "But then, of course one of the trolls started going on about how he had eaten lots of dwarves without skinning them first, so Mr. Boggins had to come up with something else."

"He said we all were infected with terrible parasites," Fili explained. "Though _some_ of us," He sent Kili a pointed look. "Didn't get what he was trying to do, and took offense at that."

Kili made as if taken aback. "I understood his plan perfectly!"

"You told me _I_ had parasites!" Bilbo protested.

"Well, I certainly wasn't the only one," Kili huffed. "I distinctly remember Oin having a few things to say about that as well."

"Either way," Fili continued. "Gandalf showed up a bit after that and split open a rock to let in the sun. The daft beasts got frozen up in stone, just like statues."

Gwen hesitated for a moment, then asked in a wondering tone, "Are they still there?"

"No," Kili replied, trying out a bit of sarcasm. "I've actually brought them with me. Got all three right here in my pocket."

Fili thumped his brother in the side of the head. "Feel free to ignore him, dearest Gwen. He still hasn't learned when to shut up."

She shot Kili a dry glare, but then leaned back in her seat, a bit of a far-off look in her eye. "Perhaps on another day, I'll go and see them."

"You should visit the Shire if you're headed that way," Bilbo said, his eyes lighting up the way they always did when his home was mentioned. "It could be nice for you to pay me a visit."

A warm smile lit up her features. "I think I'd have to take you up on that, master hobbit." She sent a glance about the room. "But now, it's growing late. I think it's about time for me to bid you all good night."

Kili smiled up at her as she stood. "We'll see you tomorrow, then."

She smirked a little. "Unfortunately, it seems so."

"Night, Gwen," Fili chuckled.

With a friendly nod from Bilbo, she was off towards the stairs. Kili watched her for a moment, before a flicker of movement caught his eye. It was the unfriendly blonde man from before, standing up from his table in the corner. Kili nearly started, having quite forgotten that the man was even there. He made his way silently and discreetly across the room, and Kili felt a wave of unease come upon him as the man slipped up the stairs.

It was probably nothing, but it did seem a little strange, how he had gone up right after Gwen. He was most assuredly being daft. Over suspicious. But, as the man disappeared from his sight, Kili felt even more uneasy than before. He shook it off, turning his attention back towards his companions. Most of them were cheering on Bombur, who, it seemed was for once trying _not_ to eat the plate of food before him. Bilbo was speaking to Dori, both of them puffing happily from their pipes. Fili had called the bartender over, and was trying to negotiate a reduced price for their next round of drinks. Thorin was in deep thought in a seat beside the hearth, the firelight casting shadows across his dark features. And Kili still couldn't shake that heavy feeling.

Gwen could handle herself. Even if that man was tall. Even if she was practically asleep on her feet. Even if she probably wouldn't be heard if she was calling for help. Even if...Mahal, he was going to drive himself mad until he just checked to be sure she was alright.

"Be back in a moment," Kili said to Fili, who waved him off, still bartering with the innkeep.

He tried to control his heart-beat, thumping almost painfully in his chest, as he neared the stairs. He knew what he would find in the hallway. The man would be preparing for sleep in his room, while Gwen was safely inside hers. It was ridiculous to assume anything else. But really, there wasn't any harm in checking to be positive either.

Something made him ascend the staircase as quietly as possible, stepping over the slats of wood that he knew to be especially creaky. As soon as it was in sight, Kili checked the first hallway, a wave of relief coming over him as he saw it empty. However, that was quickly replaced by dread as he heard a deep, soft voice coming from the second one over. He walked silently to the turn for the next hallway, his ears straining. There were two voices.

Heart beating at a sickening pace, stomach twisting awfully, he dared to peek around the corner. The breath caught in his throat. He could see the man's back, hunched over against the wall, trapping Gwen between his body and a room door. The man wasn't touching her, but he was too close. Far too close. It didn't seem that Gwen or the man had noticed him, so he once again strained to hear what was being said.

"Come, lass. Just open the door."

Gwen's reply was strained, though she kept an even tone. "I'd rather not."

"Deciding to be cheeky, are we?" the man's voice was...disgusting. Reminded Kili of congealed boar grease and curdled milk. His hands were even worse, as one reached up to take up a curl of hair from her shoulder. He twirled it about his finger for a moment, before giving it a yank. "I wouldn't recommend it."

Gwen winced a little at the sudden action, But her expression quickly turned cold and irritated. "And I wouldn't recommend you keep touching me like that."

"Oh sorry, lass." His tone was anything but apologetic as he dropped the hair back down. He brought the fingers of his raised hand up to trail across her jaw line. "Would you rather I be touching you anywhere else?"

"I'd _rather_ you back away from me and never talk to me again," she hissed.

"But a talk is all I _want,"_ he whined, voice still sickly sweet and low. "You've had to spend so much time with those bloody dwarves. You might actually enjoy our time together."

Kili didn't hear her reply, but it the man certainly did. He suddenly jerked forward, pulling Gwen against him. Though his view was mostly blocked, Kili could see the man's sinewy hands groping down the small of her back, the other somewhere between their bodies. Kili took an instinctive step forward, blood beginning to boil. Bastard, he didn't even deserve to _have_ hands after this! No one should be able to touch a girl so roughly and forcefully!

He froze in place though, as the two went completely still. After a moment, Gwen's voice came out, colder than ice. "It's time for you to back off. If you so decide not too, I'll slice your gut right open. Then, while you're on the floor, squirming in your own intestines, I'll rip your fingernails off, one by one. I'll gouge the eyes right out of your face with my bare hands, and shove them down your throat. I'll leave you on the floor, then, until you bleed to death. Is that what you want?"

Kili felt a bit sick. It wasn't good, hearing words like that in her voice. A voice that so recently, had been discussing vacation plans with Bilbo. It was awful.

The man stumbled back, and Kili noticed a glint of silver in Gwen's hand. One of the knives she had been polishing before. She must have gotten it from her boot. The man nearly fell through a room door, slamming it shut behind him.

Any fight immediately drained out of her. The knife slipped out of her grasp, and she didn't flinch away as it fell to the ground, nearly hitting her foot. She had turned terribly pale, looking a bit sick. She leaned heavily into the wall behind her, as breaths shuddered in and out of her chest. It seemed that she still hadn't noticed Kili, so he stepped forward more, calling out cautiously to get her attention. "Gwen?"

Her head jerked up, and Kili was momentarily stunned by the look in her eyes. It was something akin to fear, but more desperate, more anxious. Her voice was weak compared to the steely tone she had used earlier. "Kili."

Kili swallowed heavily. That look...she couldn't have meant what she'd described earlier. "Are you alright?"

She chuckled drily, humorlessly, and opted not to answer his question. "You saw that then."

"Aye," Kili took another step closer.

"Brilliant," she breathed, shaking her head. "Just...bloody brilliant."

He took another step or two closer, ignoring that comment as he shot a glance at the door recently slammed shut. "Perhaps you should come down stairs again for a bit."

Her face fell, exhaustion suddenly clear on her features. Her reluctance was obvious, but Kili knew she was clever enough to get why he'd propose such a thing. It was daft, leaving her alone on the second floor with this man. She closed her eyes for a moment, sighing deeply, fingers scrunching up the hem of her shirt. "Aye. I suppose I should."

"Come on, then," Kili told her, nudging his head in the direction of the staircase and _away_ from the room the man had gone in to.

She moved slowly, stooping to pick up the knife where it had fallen on the floor and slipping it back away into her boot. He guided her with a hand faintly on her shoulder towards the stairs. Before they descended, she stopped him, turning around. "Thank you, Kili."

He frowned in confusion. There was an unreadable look in her eyes. Something sort of sad, but frustrated, and yet a bit happy. "What for? I didn't help."

"Aye," she sighed. "But I know you heard what I...what I said I'd do." She looked away from him, hiding he turmoil behind her gaze. "And you didn't run away."

Kili wasn't sure quite how to reply to that. In the moment, it had been worrying, hearing her tone turn to pure ice. But now, it seemed that streak of violence had gone, leaving her more shaken than ever. In an effort to lighten the weight of the air around them, he lifted a brow. "Dearest Gwen, a dwarf doesn't _run."_

She smiled faintly for a moment, but, quickly returned to seriousness, looking back at him, her voice quiet, small. "I wouldn't have done it. You know that, right?"

Meeting her gaze, he swallowed, something pulling hard at his gut. "Of course." With a bit of a smirk, he added, "You're not quite stark raving mad _yet."_

She punctuated the rolling of her eyes with a snort. "You _wish_ I cared what you think of me."

"Don't have to wish," he scoffed. "I know."

She shook her head, before continuing down the stairs. "And if you tell yourself that enough, it might just come true, Master Dwarf."

He followed her down the stairs, chuckling a little to himself. The worry that had weighted him down in the past few minutes had finally dissipated. He was alright, and she was alright, and everything was to be alright.

* * *

Kili found himself in a bit of a predicament a few hours later. Gwen had drifted off after about twenty minutes of Bofur's singing, and had slumped over till she was leaning much of her weight on him. He hadn't really been able to find much of a problem in that, in the hours since she had fallen asleep. She served well to keep the side of him not near the fire warm, and her steady, slow breaths helped to put him in a calm, peaceable sort of state. But now, the hour had gotten rather late, and it seemed Gwen was quite set on remaining dead to the world.

He had considered carrying her up the stairs to her room, but quickly realized that not only did he not know which room was hers, but she was a good foot taller than him. He would have to drag her across the floor, which he was positive she wouldn't be too agreeable too. Leaving her down in the tavern all night would be daft for many reasons. As bad as he felt about it, it seemed that he would simply have to wake her up.

This, of course, was much easier said than done.

He nudged the shoulder she was rested on. "Gwen?"

There was a slight disruption in her steady breathing, and he felt her jerk, before beginning to roll forward, off of him. He reacted quickly, reaching an arm to wrap around her and keep her from collapsing off her chair. It seemed this still hadn't woken her though, as she lolled back, nestling into his side. Kili groaned, jostling her a bit more. Although he knew she was tired, he was exhausted too. Didn't seem fair that she got to do all the sleeping. "Mahal, Gwen. Wake up already."

From the bottom of the staircase, his brother called out, sounding exasperated. "Kili! Aren't you coming?"

"Trying my best, Fee," he huffed loudly, shaking Gwen a bit more. "I could use some help."

Fili rolled his eyes, before coming nearer. "Won't she wake up?"

"Not yet."

Fili crouched down in front of her, peering up into her face. "Gwen?" She didn't even stir. "Gwen!" He said, a bit louder.

She still hadn't reacted, and Kili shrugged his shoulder up into her. Fili squinted hard at her. "You certain she isn't just dead?"

"Still warm and breathing," Kili assured him.

Fili groaned, before getting a little closer to poke his finger into her forehead. She suddenly jerked, her muscles going tight, eyes snapping open. "Valar, Fili?"

"'Bout time you woke up," Fili grumbled. "I'm bloody exhausted."

She calmed a bit, and yawned as she straightened up off of Kili. His side immediately felt cold without her. Kili rolled out his stiff shoulder, shooting her a mock glare. "You're certainly a heavy sleeper."

She shrugged, sweeping the hair out of her eyes. "Just tired, really."

Fili jerked his head towards the stairs. "Time to go on up to bed. It's late and some of us haven't been sleeping for the past two hours."

She chuckled as she slowly stood. "That's entirely your fault."

Kili stood up too, as Fili made his way for the stairs, grumbling under his breath all the way. Gwen shot a sleepy sort of smile down at him. "Thanks for being my pillow, Kili."

He shot her a wink. "Anytime, darling."

She rolled her eyes, and began her way towards the stairs. "I'm too bloody tired for that."

They were silent all the way up till the division in the hallways, where Kili stopped her with a touch to her elbow. "Are you going to be alright?"

She seemed confused for a moment, but realization quickly dawned across her face, followed by something darker. "Oh, aye. I'll be fine."

She was already on her way, but Kili kept calling after her. "Don't forget to lock your door."

"Yes, _mother,"_ she shot back at him.

"And scream if anything happens," he added. She looked as if she was about to protest, but Kili continued with a pointed look at her. "Some of us don't sleep like the dead."

She waved him off, before continuing to her room, unlocking the door and shooting him one last tired smile before closing it firmly behind her. He noted, with some satisfaction, the sound of the lock scraping into place. She should be safe. Even if Kili specifically didn't hear her screaming, if any of his companions heard her, they'd come running, weapons raised. She would be safe for that night. Kili turned back towards his room, his heart content in his chest.

* * *

 _ **Thus concludes chapter three! Not a lot happened in this chapter, but there's some important stuff in the next one. Also, the next chapter is the last one before they're finally out on the road again!**_

 _ **The reviews/follows/faves are all very much appreciated! They really do make my day. If you have the time, I'd love to hear what you have to say about this chapter. Questions? Grammar issues? Character issues? I'm up for anything, just leave a review. Thank you so much!**_

 _ **Next chapter: Doing Ridiculous Things**_


	4. Doing Ridiculous Things

_**All rights go to Tolkien, Peter Jackson, and Emily Smith. All I own is my OC.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER FOUR**

DOING RIDICULOUS THINGS

"You know Gwen, if these are the things I have to do in being friends with you, I might have to rethink the depths of this friendship."

She smirked down at Kili as she tied the strings on the front of her sleeveless, wool under-coat closed. "Having second thoughts, Master Dwarf?"

Kili snorted, moving to close up his other boot. "As much as anyone might, when they're about to jump out a window."

"Don't be a coward," Fili scoffed, leaning on the doorframe. "It's only a few foot drop before you hit the snow."

Kili shot him a sour look as he stood up off the chair. "Says the dwarf who _isn't_ jumping out a window."

"In all fairness," Gwen began. "You _did_ volunteer for this."

"Only to save you from drowning in a snow bank."

"What ever helps you sleep at night." She picked up a heavier leather coat off the bed, shrugging it on, and fumbling with the buttons. "Point is, keep up with that complaining and I might just have to toss you out the window instead of letting you jump."

Kili scoffed, pulling on his gloves. "Dearest Gwen, you don't _toss_ a dwarf."

She arched a brow. "Would you prefer a throw then? Perhaps a chuck?"

"I myself am quite partial to flinging," Fili added.

"A launch might also prove worth the effort," Gwen mused as she pulled a pair of thick leather mittens over her slender hands.

Kili rolled his eyes, and was about to tell them both to sod off, but a weary voice, thick with sleep called from the doorway. "What's this with launching?"

Gwen smiled at the newcomer, who turned out to be none other than Bilbo. "Ah, Master Hobbit. We were discussing in what manner we should put Kili out the window."

"Ah," the hobbit breathed, nodding. He quickly paused, his expression turning to one of confusion and concern. "Do you think that-" His words sputtered out, so with another moment of furrowed-brow thinking, he spoke. "Should we really-" He paused again, his hand dropping from the air, mid-gesture. "Why, exactly, are we putting Kili though a window?"

Gwen shrugged, giving her coats a final tug to settle them in place. "Someone's got to clear the snow away from the door or else you'll _all_ have to go out the window when the time comes for you to be travelling." She stopped then, a frown forming. "On that thought, actually, I don't really think that Bombur would even fit through it."

Kili walked, his footsteps heavy on the wood-plank floor, to the window, reaching for its latch. "We've fit him through smaller spaces, certainly."

The wooden shutters swung open, clear sunlight and a flurry of snowflakes spilling in. With it, came a gust of cold air, that struggled to cut through the many dry, warm layers he was wearing.

"Wait," Bilbo stuttered. "You're not actually planning on jumping out the window, are you? We _are_ on the second floor, if you hadn't noticed."

"It won't be much of a fall, really," Gwen assured him with a dismissive tone. "The snow's blown up against the building quite a bit. The drop shouldn't be more than a few feet."

"But you said you'd be clearing the snow away from the door?" Upon receiving a nod of confirmation, Bilbo continued. "How, exactly, do you intend to do that?"

"Not really sure on that one," Kili replied, as his eyes adjusted to the glaring whiteness of the world outside.

The sky was a blank white sheet, but the snowfall had been growing progressively lighter since that morning. The combined efforts of Balin and the innkeep predicted that it would probably be safe to travel by early the next morning. That was, of course, if the door could open. There was a massive drift of snow up against the front of the building, which quite effectively held the door of the inn closed. When Gwen had been bribed with the idea of a free night's stay by the innkeep to clear a path out, a surge of dwarvish pride had made Kili volunteer to help her. Now, as he peered down at the massive pile of sparkling whiteness, he was having doubts.

"We'll figure it out once we get down there, I suppose," Gwen said dismissively.

"Are you really quite sure this is safe?" The hobbit asked, worry dripping from his words.

"Oh, it's certainly not," Fili chuckled. "But is anything, really?"

As Bilbo sputtered in reply to this, Kili stepped back from the window, looking to Gwen expectantly. "Ladies first, then?"

She snorted, but came up to the window anyways. "You're just afraid." Before he could answer to that, she sprang up, so she was crouched on the window sill. She gained her balance there, holding onto the frame with one hand, and the sill beneath her with the other. Kili could only see her back as she suddenly paused. "I'm beginning to have second thoughts on this, actually."

Seeing the opportunity, Kili moved swiftly, giving her a solid shove between the shoulder blades. She spilled rather gracelessly from the window frame, and quickly disappeared from sight under the heap of snow. Kili snickered to himself. Though he hadn't seen her face, he was fairly positive that her expression upon being pushed would have been hilarious.

Bilbo quickly appeared at his side, peering down. "Gwen!" He turned to look at Kili, astonished. "You just pushed her!"

"Yes, he did," Fili confirmed, as he too, came over to the window to look over Bilbo's shoulder. "Brilliant job, brother."

"What if she's hurt!?'"

Kili shrugged. "There's plenty of snow to cushion her fall. She'll be fine."

As if in accord with this, Gwen struggled back to the top of the bank, hair a wild mess, practically spitting in fury. "You bloody _fool_ of a dwarf!"

"How is it down there?" Kili called to her, tone mocking.

"Practically balmy!" She snapped back, her balance wavering a bit as she struggled to stand up in the snow. "How about you join me?"

Kili faked considering this. "Well, that certainly is-"

He was suddenly being grabbed under the arms and hoisted out the window. His legs flailed, his foot catching on the sill. He quickly found himself rather upside down, and sliding along the rough wooden panels of the side of the building. Only a few moments had passed, when his face hit the snow. A handful of tiny, icy daggers immediately crowded his nostrils and mouth, as the large pile of fluff beneath him compressed down. He soon was flurrying desperately in the white powder, stinging frost stifling his breath as he thrashed about.

When the world came back into focus, it was far too bright, there was a nasty icy trickle going down his neck, his back felt a bit twisted, and his mouth tasted of blood and snow. He found Gwen guwaffing loudly at him, and could have sworn he heard Fili laughing as well. He tried to wipe the snow off his face in a huff, but was only successful in smearing the cold dampness worse over his eyes. Once he could see a bit better, he looked up to the window. "Very creative, Fili! Just do the exact same thing as I did!"

Though he couldn't see up the side of the building to where his brother was, he could hear his voice, tinged with amusement. "What can I say? You inspired me, brother."

Gwen had finally settled down a bit, and smirked at him. "I'll admit, I liked it quite a bit better when _you_ were the one falling out the window."

Kili rolled his eyes. "You'd say that, wouldn't you?"

She chuckled. "I should think so. Now, let's get to work before we both catch our death of a cold."

"Already _have,"_ Kili grumbled under his breath, twitching his nose to stave off a sneeze. A faceful of winter's fury couldn't be good for anyone's health.

"C'mon then, Master Dwarf," She said, jerking her head away from the building. "Let's get ourselves off this drift, then see what we can do."

"Right." He paused then, looking out down the rather steep slope of snow she was asking him to descend. The white fluff was already up to his chest, and his footing wasn't exactly sturdy. If he were to misstep, he could very well find himself drowning in the depth of the snow. "Actually, how are we going to go about this?"

Gwen hadn't begun to move either, and shifted where she was standing. "I was wondering that myself..." She tilted her head a bit, considering the steep, crumbly expanse before her. "It'd be best to spread our weight, I suppose. Shouldn't sink as far down that way."

Kili quirked a brow. "Are you telling me to crawl through this?"

"No, no, that'd be daft," She sighed. She looked to him then, eyes hopeful. "I don't suppose you're still adverse to the concept of tossing?"

"Not a chance," he snorted, before huffing in defeat. "We're just wasting time. Let's just start down, then see what happens."

Gwen shrugged. "Fine by me. But if either of us dies from this, know that it'll have been because of your hastiness."

"Thanks," he shot back, not without an amount of sarcasm. He fought back a bit of a chuckle at that. His mum had always hated it when he or his brother used sarcasm, and if she was there, she would have not hesitated to hit him right upside the head. He would have to be sure to purge his speech of such things before speaking to her again.

Seeing that Gwen was beginning to set off, he turned his attention to the somewhat daunting task before him. He could feel the bit of packed fluff beneath his boots crumble away under his shifting weight, and his heart jolted messily in his chest. He could already tell that this was going to be a somewhat challenging and certainly _cold_ endeavor.

He watched Gwen a moment more, as she inched forward, down the bank and slowly raised a foot, feeling his balance waver. However, the snow around him came up to his chest, and helped him keep upright. He settled his raised foot carefully, experimentally, into the wall of whiteness before him. He gently packed the snow down beneath his boot, until he felt he probably had a stable enough foot hold, before shifting his weight gradually up onto it.

It seemed to hold well enough, so he drew his other foot up, shoving a bit of the snow in front of him away so he could take another slow step forward. He had managed to go a good six feet, and his method was working fairly well. He had come close to losing his balance once or twice, but had managed to correct himself on every occasion. It was then, that he spared a look over at Gwen.

As he could see, she had been moving at a faster pace than him, taking long strides. Sensing his gaze on her, she looked up to him, a bit of a smile lighting her cold-flushed cheeks. "Someone's taking their time."

Kili rolled his eyes, as he meticulously bolstered his next step with a series of sharp pats. "Just being careful."

She snorted indelicately. "So am I, but I might actually get somewhere eventually."

Kili gritted his teeth, and looked back down as he exchanged his weight a step forward. He already didn't feel particularly steady, trying to move much faster could spell disaster. When he was safe, a foot or two forward, he looked back to Gwen to reply. However, he quickly found her gone from his view. He craned his neck to look for where she had gone, and soon caught sight of her, emerging spluttering out of the drift a few feet down. He fought to keep a straight face, as she staggered in place, trying to regain her balance after having fallen through. "What was that about being careful, Gwen?"

"Oh, shut it." She scooped up a chunk of snow and lobbed it at him.

He struggled even more against laughter as the projectile she'd sent for him hit the side of the building, a good half-a-dozen feet away from him. "Are you trying to attack me, or the wall?"

She seemed to set herself in ignoring him, and huffed as she turned away, viciously swatting a few stray locks of hair out of her eyes.

Kili finally gave into the amusement bubbling up in his throat, chuckling to himself as he continued making his slow way down the hill. It was another good five minutes, before he felt something solid below him. Something that felt like stone cobbles. He straightened himself out, smoothing a bit of the snow out of his hair, before giving Gwen a haughty smirk. "See, sometimes it pays not to rush it."

She rolled her eyes at him, giving him a good shove to the shoulder. "Don't you act all smug. There's still time for you to fall in."

He looked up at the bank they were commissioned to clear a path through. That was a lot of snow. He stifled a groan. Cursed dwarvish pride, making him agree to help with this.

* * *

Thinking back on it, the moment when the door finally swung open was probably one of the happiest moments of his life. A gush of warm air, laden with the smell of wood smoke, crackled over his skin, beginning to thaw the layer of ice off of him. A sharp voice from behind interrupted his grateful thoughts. "Oi, do me a favor and actually go _through_ the door."

Reminded, then, of Gwen's presence behind him, he stumbled past the threshold, that searing air covering even more of his skin. It hurt a bit, like burning, but it felt so deliciously lovely that he was able to ignore that pain. He really needed to stop making a habit out of nearly freezing to death. The first step to that, of course was getting out of the blasted Misty Mountains. Thus far, they hadn't treated him too well, and he couldn't wait to get back on the road and into a better climate. After, of course, a change of clothes, good dinner, and a warm night's sleep.

"Our mighty heroes return!" That sounded like Fili.

Looking up showed that it was, in fact, Fili, sitting with Dori, Nori, Ori and Bofur. All warm, and dry, and not bloody _exhausted._ Lucky fools.

"'Twas a long, arduous journey," Gwen explained, in a sort of grand voice.

"Ah, yes," Kili continued as he began to strip away layers of sodden leather and fur. "Twists and turns, trials and tribulations."

"Had to fight off hoards of Wargs," she added.

"There was a lot of snow involved," Kili said, before continuing, with a straight face. "Had to strip down and share body warmth."

For once, the thing she threw, a damp scarf, hit its mark, whipping frostily over the side of his head, filling his mouth with wool.

"I don't think the lady quite approved of that, brother. Might want to reconsider how exactly you remember it," his brother called, tone teasing.

Kili peeled the scarf off of his face, and tossed it to a nearby bench, not wavering in his cheerful voice. "I regret absolutely nothing." He glanced up to see Gwen paused in untying her coat to look at him with a raised brow, so threw her a wink.

She scoffed, shaking her head and resuming her work. "You're a fool."

"Pretty lasses tend to make me act like that anyways," he shot back, remembering fondly the days of his youth when all it would take was the wink he just gave her to render a lass speechless. Was he losing his touch, or had Gwen suffered head damage as a child?

"Congratulations, Bofur," she said. "You're stunning looks have rendered Kili dumb."

Bofur chuckled good naturedly, while Kili rolled his eyes. "Always knew he had an eye on me."

"I do remember the ones with hats and braids getting your attention when we were young," Fili sighed. "Should have seen this coming sooner."

"It was inevitable, really," Bofur said matter-of-factly. "I _am_ the prettiest."

Gwen snorted. "Best not let Thorin hear you saying that. None could be quite as majestic as him."

Most of his outer layers gathered in his arms, Kili interrupted. "I'm going to go dry off some. Care to join me, Gwen?"

She frowned for a moment, before leaning down to Fili. "What might it mean if I'm actually considering that offer?"

A smile quirked at the dwarf's lips. "Perhaps his incessant efforts to charm you are actually having some effect." Fili followed this up with a look to his brother that Kili couldn't quite interpret.

Ignoring his brother's look, he treated Gwen to his most charming grin. Her eyes searched his for a moment, before her gaze fell and she shook her head. "Must be the cold addling my brain."

Kili rolled his eyes. "Of course. Blame it on that." He jerked his head towards the stairs. "Now come along, M'lady. I'll walk you to your room."

She chuckled, but made her way to his side, glancing over at him as they crossed the room to the stairs. "How chivalrous of you."

Kili flicked a look over her, eyeing the damp shirt clinging to the curves of her figure. "Of course, if you'll need some help getting that wet clothes off you, I'd be willing to help with that as well."

"Ah," she sighed. "There goes that chivalry."

Kili chuckled. "You know I mean well."

A fond half-smile touched at her lips. "Yes. I do know."

They went the rest of the way in silence, until they reached Gwen's door. As she fiddled with her key, Kili spoke. "Might I come by later?"

"If you want," she replied distractedly, trying to fit the key into the lock with cold-numbed, chapped fingers. "Just knock."

"Lovely."

The door swung open, and Gwen disappeared, slamming it shut behind her. Kili felt an involuntary shiver go through him. Cold, wet clothing was downright _nasty._

Once he had changed into a dry set of clothing in his room, he found himself back at Gwen's door. She called through the wood to him after a moment of him knocking. "Kili?"

"Aye."

There was another pause, then the door came open, a still cold-flushed Gwen on the other side. Her clothes were dry now, though her hair hung down her back in a mess of damp, dark curls. She offered him a faint smile, before retreating further into the room. It was a simple set up, much like Kili's, only with the addition of a small stool in the far corner. Gwen seated herself on the edge of the bed, plucking a comb off of the slightly rumpled blankets. "I never really did thank you."

Kili sat on the stool. To his humiliation, his toes were barely able to touch the ground. This inn needed to get ahold of some dwarf and hobbit appropriate furnishings. "Thank me for what?"

"Helping me clear that drift out," she replied as she brought the mass of her hair over one shoulder, beginning to work at it with the comb. "I could've done it on my own, of course, but I suppose the company was appreciated."

Kili snorted. "It would've taken you two days to do that on your own."

She yanked fairly savagely through a knot in her hair, rolling her eyes. "But _anyway,_ despite all your flirting and everything, I...suppose you're not too bad."

A large smile worked its way onto Kili's face, as he watched her attack her hair with the comb, a definite pink flush washing her cheeks. After a moment, she glanced up at him, only to scoff faintly and roll her eyes, that blush intensifying. This was something Kili could get used to.

In the silence that followed, Kili found his eyes wandering over the rest of her. She wore the white shirt from the previous day, and breeches, though she lacked a pair of boots. This exposed most of her calves and her delicate ankles. His mother would faint. Kili, however, just found this fascinating. Her skin was pale and smooth looking, stretched taught over the fine musculature of her leg. Her ankles had a sort of slenderness about them, one he'd never seen, even in the finest of dwarven lass. Even her feet had been left bare. She was...so very different.

"Master Dwarf?" Gwen's voice caught him a bit off guard, and his eyes snapped back up to her face, a bit of a guilty feeling welling up in him. He pushed that feeling down, trying to ignore the new heat in his cheeks. It's not like he had been leering at her in any sort of an inappropriate way, he was simply admiring the differences between their races. A much-suppressed voice in him spoke up: _then why are you blushing?_

"Yes, Gwen?'

"Are you travelling with Gandalf the Gray?"

A bit startled by the question, Kili answered honestly. "We were."

She paused, sighing deeply, eyes focused on something that wasn't there. Her attention suddenly snapped back up to Kili. "This is a dangerous quest you're taking on."

Kili frowned. "How do you know what quest we've taken on?"

"You're a band of thirteen dwarves lead by Thorin Oakenshield travelling right before Durin's Day with a fairly well renowned wizard. It's not too tricky to put together."

"Fine," Kili huffed. Perhaps it was a bit more obvious than he thought. "I'm just a bit surprised you'd know that much about the Lonely Mountain and the quest."

She raised a brow, resuming her combing. "I haven't been living under a rock."

"I know, I know. But still, you weren't even born when Smaug attacked." He did the mental calculations quickly. "Neither were your parents, likely."

She faltered for a moment, but shrugged. "I make an effort to know what's happening in the land."

"Now that you know what we're up to," Kili began, "What are you doing in these mountains all alone?"

"Just visiting some friends."

Kili raised a brow. "At this time of the year?"

"Rather be a bit south for the winter."

She had a point. Still... "I just can't quite believe that you're travelling all alone."

"Have I not proved myself more than capable in a fight?"

Kili rolled his eyes. She was _still_ hanging onto that sparring match. "In sparring, perhaps. But you'd be dinner, faced against half a dozen hungry wargs."

"Which is the reason I avoid hungry wargs."

"And if you can't avoid them?"

The question hung heavy in the air for a few moments, before Gwen replied, "Then, I suppose the wargs eat well."

She followed this with a dry chuckle, though Kili found no humor in the idea. "Gwen..."

Her eyes snapped up to his, and she set her comb down in her lap as she spoke. "Kili, your concern is heartwarming. However, I haven't gotten eaten yet, and I don't think I will any time soon. So it's best you forget about it and move on with your life." Not giving Kili the chance to reply, she continued. "I'd think you're in more danger than I am, trying to face that dragon. Worry about yourself before you worry about a stranger on the trail."

There wasn't much he could say to that. Maybe it was a bit silly, getting himself all worked up over Gwen's dangerous habits. If she said she could take care of herself, then he hadn't much of a choice but to take her word for it. An idea tickled at the back of his mind though, and he found that he had to voice it, at least this once. "When we leave tomorrow, you could come with us. You said it yourself, it's not safe to be alone out on these mountains." Maybe those weren't her _exact_ words, but the point still remained true. "Travel with us, just until we've cleared the mountains. You don't have to be part of the company, it just...I think it would be wise."

There was a long silence, as Gwen stared at her hands, likely thinking hard. She finally looked up, a bit of a bitter smile on her lips. "Thorin's not much fond of me."

That was, of course, true. But Thorin wasn't particularly fond of anyone. Besides, it seemed most of the others didn't mind her company too much. "Doesn't matter, really. You wouldn't actually be part of the company, you'd just happen to travel the same way at the same time as us."

Her smile widened. "That...can't really argue with that, I suppose."

Kili's heart lifted. "So you'll come with us?"

"How about you check with your uncle? I don't want to be a day away from here, caught in a blizzard if he decides to boot me out."

Ah...that was something he didn't want to do...one glance at Gwen, eyes glinting deep with a glimmer of hope, erased this doubt. "I'll ask."

* * *

Asking, was of course, much easier said than done. The look on Thorin's face when he proposed the idea was...well, not much of a change from his usual stern expression. However, he had scanned Kili's face so thoroughly, the young dwarf had almost began to feel guilty, though for what, he wasn't sure. He took the grunt his uncle replied with as a yes, and tried to hurry away, before Thorin stopped him. "Kili?"

He winced, but turned. "Yes, uncle?"

The silence dragged out terribly, Thorin's face unreadable. Finally it was broken, with a deep sigh and shaking of head from Thorin. "Just go."

Kili had practically run away.

Despite any discomfort from that conversation, Kili found he was able to forget it when he told Gwen that Thorin was fine with her tagging along. Her eyes lit up immediately, and she barely fought back a wide smile. Her eyes avoided his then, as a faint flush going up her cheeks. "That's...that's good."

Clearly, she was a bit more excited than she let on, as she immediately suggested Kili let Fili know the news. Fili had been happy, but had given Kili that look that he didn't understand, and found entirely annoying.

That evening, he once again found himself surrounded by friends and food, and he was perhaps a little too happy to see that the creepy blonde man was nowhere to be seen. Even so, he was sure to keep Gwen in sight most of the evening, just as a precautionary measure. It seemed, after so long of sitting around talking, most of the dwarves had exhausted their vault of stories, and so they moved onto old fairy tales, told to an intensely focused Gwen. Some details were added here and there, of course, to make it a bit more interesting, but Gwen seemed fascinated by it all the same. Dwalin had taken the floor, spinning a fairly gruesome tale, involving a fight with a bear and some nasty scarring. He was just getting to the good (disgusting) part, when Kili felt someone hit his shoulder. He turned to see Gwen had thrown herself into the chair beside him. Her cheeks were a tad flushed, a bit of a glint lighting up her eyes. "Evening, Master Dwarf."

Kili welcomed her with a smile. "Evening, Lady Gwen."

She burst out in...were those giggles? "Lady? I think we both know I'm not much of a lady."

He elbowed her lightly. "You're _my_ lady then."

Her eyes widened in surprise, and she looked at him, alarmed for a moment. Just as quick, she snapped her gaze to the floor, her brow furrowing as she fiddled silently with the edge of her mug.

That was...odd. Sure, his statement was a bit flirtatious, but...why had she reacted that way?

Kili watched her for a moment, as she stared, eyes glazed over, at the leg of a table. He reached up, to place a hand on her shoulder, and she immediately flinched away from his touch, her eyes going up to his. Odd again. He spoke carefully. "Gwen, are you alright?"

Her eyes flicked nervously to the side. "Well enough."

He hesitated. "You're acting..." Ah. The facts suddenly clicked in his mind, as his eyes found the mug of amber liquid gripped in her hands. "...drunk."

Her nose wrinkled at the suggestion. "Tipsy, if anything."

Kili chuckled, shaking his head. More than tipsy, it seemed. "Now who's done this?"

"Did it myself, I should think," she retorted, almost defensively. "Shouldn't think anyone but myself could drink me to tipsy."

"You have a point." He motioned to the half-full mug gripped tightly in her hands. "Who gave you that then?"

"Ah," she started a bit, and took a gulp from the drink before continuing. "That would be Fili." When Kili didn't reply instantly, she elaborated. "Blonde dwarf? Only comes up to my chest? Bit of a silly moustache? Blue-"

"I know who he is," Kili reminded her gently, fighting back laughter. "He's actually my brother."

"Of course he is," Gwen sniffed, seeming a bit offended. "Do you think I'm daft?"

"Certainly not, love." Drunks were amusing. Especially drunk Gwen, it seemed.

She smiled at that endearment, looking away shyly, as if to hide the deep red that crept across her face. "Love? That's funny."

Kili lifted a brow. "Is it?"

"Makes you do ridiculous things sometimes..." she seemed to drift off as she said that, perhaps reliving an old memory as she scratched at a spot on the side of her mug.

That certainly got Kili's attention. Part of him wanted to ask, to see if her seemingly loosened tongue would explain that, but his dwarven honor wouldn't let him take advantage of her inebriated state. Perhaps he'd bring it up when she was a tad bit more...sober. With a sigh, he shoved that curiosity aside, changing the subject. "How much have you had to drink, exactly?"

Gwen looked back at him in surprise, before her brow furrowed. Just as quickly, she was mouthing words to herself, seeming to be counting on her fingers. Kili watched, amused, until she came back up, proudly holding up four fingers of one hand, announcing, "Three."

Kili bemusedly eyed her four fingers for a moment, before speaking. "This is your fourth then?'

"Yes." She seemed to take notice of her fingers then, a frown twisting her mouth as she reached up with her other hand, pushing one of the fingers held up back down. As soon as she let go, it came back up, to her annoyance. Her scowl intensified, as she shook the hand out all together, before simply returning it to its place, gripping her mug.

This was only after three and a half drinks? Mahal, she was a lightweight. He'd have to make sure she didn't drink herself into a coma.

A song started up, and Kili turned back to the center to see that the inkeep had brought out his lute instrument again, and was playing along to a rather raunchy sounding duet between Bofur and Nori. Gwen's attention turned to this, giggling to herself as words and phrases drifted through the warm air of the inn towards them. She had a nice laugh. As nice as a silly, drunken giggle could be, anyway.

He was interrupted from his musings by Fili, dropping into the chair next to him. "Brother!"

Kili could already smell the ale on him. "Not you too."

Fili frowned. "That's not how you're supposed to greet someone."

Kili snuck a glance to Gwen to see if she was listening. She was swinging her feet, with her mug clutched to her chest, attention fixed on the song. "You got Gwen drunk."

The blonde dwarf snorted in laughter. "Aye, I did, didn't I?"

"Why?" Kili sighed.

"Wasn't entirely me," he defended. "She was the one wanting to drink."

"And you should have seen she was such a lightweight and made her slow down a bit."

Fili smirked, looking past Kili to Gwen. "She's _is_ quite the lightweight. Turned ditzy after her first pint." Kili opened his mouth to speak, but his brother continued. "The loosened her tongue a bit, though. Got to hear some interesting things."

"Brother-" Kili began in a warning tone.

"Ah, don't get your knickers in a twist," Fili huffed dismissively. "It wasn't anything bad. All I got was that she's a bit more thrilled than she was letting on about getting to tag along with us. Mentioned she was sick of being lonely."

Kili found himself glancing back at Gwen. She swayed slightly in her seat to whatever song was playing, a wide, contented smile plastered over her face. This smile seemed a bit infectious, as Kili turned back to his brother. "That's good."

Fili stared at him for a long moment, shaking his head slowly. "Sometimes I can't even bloody believe you, Kee."

Kili frowned, sitting back in his seat a bit. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Fili stared for a bit longer, before shaking his head, tipping back a gulp of his drink. "Always have had a strange taste in women."

A loud uproar from his companions, followed by the beginning of a familiar, fast-paced tune broke out, keeping the conversation from continuing. Kili knew this song all too well. It was a jig, one meant to be played with two fiddles. He and his brother had practiced together on it for many hours. Now, as the tune was plucked out on the lute and accompanied by someone's flute, Kili found his fingers almost instinctively picking out the fingerings to play along. A part of him much wished he had been able to bring his fiddle along on the quest after all.

Suddenly, he was being pushed up to his feet and shoved into the middle of the throng of dancing dwarves that had formed. They all knew the dance for this one, and soon enough, he found himself stamping and spinning about with the rest of his companions. It was a bit nice, to lose himself in the feeling of warmth, a full stomach, and a good tune. He had just tripped over Oin, who was, understandably a few beats behind the rest of them, when he was met with a faceful of brown curls. He jerked back, to see Bofur had gotten Gwen to join them. It was a bit obvious that she didn't know the dance, but she seemed happy enough skipping and spinning from dwarf to dwarf, laughing and smiling like a giddy twenty year old. He found himself distracted, watching her grab onto Gloin, pushing the reluctant dwarf into spinning, hand in hand, in a circle with her. When she skipped, giggling gleefully, from him, she had managed to get a bit of a fond smile to appear on his lips.

Gwen looked lost for a moment, but quickly found Kili's eyes. It only took her half a chorus to reach him, whereupon she quite actually snatched him out of his slight stupor, grabbing up his hands in hers. Her hands were warm, and maybe a bit sweaty in his, but so slight, he felt he might crush them if he held too tightly. Her slender fingers locked with his as she towed him further into the throng, dragging him into a circular skipping movement, as she had with Gloin. It was quite amusing to watch the sort of dancing she was doing. She hardly moved with the rhythm of the song at all, steps erratic and unpredictable, but her face, flushed with happiness and exhilaration, made up for a lack of any actual skill. A sweet, warm smell seemed to follow every sweep of her hair through the air between them, and as his pulse sped up, a giddy sort of excitement filling him, Kili found himself grinning like a fool.

A definite disappointment filled him when she suddenly dropped his hands, squirming through the others to reach a nervous looking Bilbo. He was kept from dwelling on this too long, as Bofur snatched him up, laughing, and quite obviously uproariously drunk.

Kili wasn't quite sure how long they danced about for, but he was certainly grateful to drop down onto a bench, nursing a refreshing mug of ale. It seemed they were all calming down a bit, as the flute player had dropped out, the lute instrument gone quiet. A heavy figure sat next to him, and Kili looked to see Dwalin, to his astonishment, with a smile on his face. It was only a slight smile, that could very well be mistaken for a scowl if one hadn't seen Dwalin _really_ scowling, but it certainly threw Kili for a bit of a loop. Perhaps there is some sort of magic in rest, food, drink, and a good dance.

The sound of the lute began to fill the air around him again, this time slow, in a low, steady chord progression. The room quieted a bit, when a clear, soft voice began to fill the room.

 _The leaves are falling from the trees,_

 _Farewell for now, warm summer breeze._

Kili craned his neck, and wasn't entirely surprised to see it was Gwen singing. She sat next to the innkeep, on a stool by the fire, a warm sort of expression written across her face as she sang.

 _Weather has been good this year,_

 _And now the winter will soon be here._

She didn't have a perfect singing voice. Her lower notes were perhaps a bit off pitch, but her higher tones had a pretty sort of clarity that filled the space of the common room well. Her words came out crisply pronounced, touched with a lilt of an accent Kili had heard from somewhere before. He soon found himself lost a bit, in the soft thoughtfulness of the song, his muscles relaxing one by one.

 _The nights are drawing in to shorter days,_

 _I hear the old folk and the country people say,_

 _Don't fear the dark, nature has it all in hand,_

 _Time to reflect and renew the tired land._

It was sort of as if the merrily crackling fire had come to fill Kili, as satisfaction washed through him. He longed to keep ahold of this feeling, to have a touch of it on those long nights on the road, sleeping on the cold ground.

 _So, we'll stoke the fire, and light the lamp,_

 _Turn our backs in from the damp,_

 _Settle down beneath the starry sky,_

 _Endure the winter passing by._

Kili wondered for a moment if he'd be able to convince Gwen to teach him this song. It would never sound quite the same, without the sound of a blizzard raging outside, the crackle of hearth fire, and the sweet, small tone of her voice, but it would certainly be a pretty tune for him to play on winter nights back at home with his mother.

As the song continued, her voice got a bit stronger, rising above the storm outside, and the mutter of dwarves. When she got to the chorus another time, the innkeep joined in her singing, picking out a quiet harmony. After she had sung through the next verse, another voice joined in the chorus. It was either Bofur or Balin, singing along with her, missing a word here and there, but putting in the effort. Soon enough, another voice joined, Ori perhaps. It wasn't long till most of the dwarves were singing along with Gwen, who was almost beaming as she led them. It was lovely, seeing someone so genuinely _happy_ as she seemed to be in that moment. A glance around the room showed Bifur passed out on a table, Oin holding his trumpet to his ear in an effort to hear what was going on, Bilbo happily smoking in the corner, and the others (save Dwalin, of course) adding to the quiet melody filling the air. Kili noticed Thorin, leaning against bar, a slight scowl on his face. He seemed to be watching Gwen's actions carefully, perhaps a bit calculating. At least it wasn't outright distaste...Kili found himself very much hoping that Thorin wouldn't act so...gruff to Gwen as she travelled with them. It would likely make her a bit unhappy, and Kili made the decision then, that he'd quite like to keep the girl as happy as she seemed to be in that moment for as long as he could.

* * *

 _ **And there was Chapter Four! I hope you enjoyed it. The song wasn't mine, it's called Winter Song, and it's by Emily Smith. I strongly recommend you look it up. It's a beautiful song.**_

 _ **The faves/reveiws/follows were brilliant, as always. I love you guys. That said, I would be really happy to hear what you thought of this chapter. Grammar issues? Favorite line? Hypothesis about where the story's going? Or, you could just say hi! (I may be just a little bit lonely) Hope you all have a fantastic week!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: The World Ahead**_


	5. The World Ahead

_**All rights to the fantabulous Tolkien and Peter Jackson. You know the drill.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER FIVE**

THE WORLD AHEAD

Kili awoke to the all too familiar voice of Dwalin, bellowing in the hallway, "Get up you bloody bastards! We're leaving in half an hour whether you're with us or not!"

A loud groan sounded from up on the bed, where Fili lay. "Mum always told us we shouldn't hate, but she's never been woken at an ungodly hour of the morning by Dwalin shouting in your _ear_."

Kili sighed heavily, staring up at the bland, wooden ceiling. "I know the road's where our quest lies, but would it hurt too much for us just to stay here _one more_ day?"

"Durin's day approaches." Fili was using a tone that was clearly influenced by Thorin's stern admonishings. "We shouldn't waste any more time here."

"Oh, aye, lighten up a bit," Kili huffed. "It's just a bit of wishful thinking."

"I know." There was a long pause, both of them lying still, until Fili spoke up again, his voice low. "Do you think we'll die, Kili?"

He was a bit thrown by this sudden change in topic, and thus opted for humor. "Eventually, I should hope. Don't think I'd fancy being immortal."

"On this quest," Fili deadpanned in reply.

Kili hesitated to answer. This was something he had, thus far, avoided thinking through too much. But for the sake of his brother, he would. "It is possible, I suppose. It's a dangerous thing we're doing. But I think I'd rather die, fighting for the halls of our fathers then at home, never having caught a glimpse of that glory."

Fili seemed to consider this a bit, before snorting. "Why, that was practically poetic! Been around Ori a lot lately?"

There was the snappy, joking Fili he knew. "You asked for an answer, and I gave you one."

"Yes," Fili said, voice turning a bit somber again. "Thanks, Kee. For humoring me."

"Been doing it for seventy-seven years, don't know why I'd stop now."

His brother chuckled at that, before shifting in the bed. "Best get up now, before Thorin goes on without us."

Kili frowned, speaking as he struggled into a sitting position. "You don't think he would, really? We are his family."

Fili had sat up as well, slinging his legs over the side of the mattress. "After the bit with the trolls, I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to find a way to rid himself of us."

"That's...a bit of a troubling thought."

Fili snorted, as he grabbed his pack up from the foot of the bed. "Then stop thinking and pack, and we shouldn't have to worry about getting left behind at all."

* * *

Fili and Kili hadn't quite been the last ones down stairs in the common room. Nori, Dori, and Ori had filtered in a few minutes later, arguing quietly amongst themselves about something or another. Gwen was already down, dressed in a rather warm looking configuration of coats and cloaks, with a pack on her back, and her sword strapped to her left hip. A short talk revealed that she somehow, had managed to escape any sort of hangover. She blushed faintly at the mention of the things she'd done the previous night, but other than that, just dismissed it with a roll of eyes.

Any conversation in the common room cut out rather abruptly, as Thorin entered the scene. He stood halfway down the staircase, looking over his company, a proud (and perhaps even fond) look glinting through his gaze. A glance around at his companions sent a rush of pride through Kili as well. This was the company. The group of dwarves chosen by fate itself to return their people to their rightful home. And this was a company he was part of.

His eyes landed on Gwen, who was looking at the dwarves about her, a strange emotion, maybe something longing in her gaze. Kili caught her eye, giving her a warm smile and she returned it, though a bit halfheartedly.

The strange sort of silence that had settled over the dwarves broke as Thorin marched across the room, to the door. A gust of cold air and flurried snowflakes rushed in, but he was out the doorway in the blink of an eye. A wave of chatter broke out through the company, as they all funneled out after him, not wishing to face the cold, but willing to follow their noble leader anywhere. The world outside was still dark, the sunrise only nipping at the horizon, air cold and cutting right through him. The snow rested in tall walls a few feet to either of their sides, and Kili was washed with memories of the previous day, carving this path out of the snow with Gwen. Though it had been beautifully cleared at the time, now it had filled back up a bit past knee height. On his left side, Fili elbowed him playfully. "Brother, I thought you'd cleared out a path for us."

"I _did,"_ Kili huffed, breath swirling and fogging the air before his nose.

He heard Dori grumbling a bit ahead. "My old bones can't handle this sort of treatment..."

It seemed Fili caught this too as he let out a heavy, groaning sigh. "Tell me about it, Dori. My knees have been swollen for the last month."

"It's the weather that gets me," Kili added, slowing to a limping, hobbling pace through the snow. "Joints start creaking every time a storm rolls by."

"Best shut your mouths, lads," Balin called from behind. "You're not allowed to start complaining about that until you're at least 140."

Kili feigned disappointment. "Sixty-three years to keep my aches quiet then."

"Ach, you're still young and limber," Balin huffed. "It'll really hit you once you've lived a century."

Fili rolled his eyes a bit. "Can't hardly wait."

Gwen, to Kili's right, was being awfully quiet. The hood of her dark-red cloak was pulled up, nearly hiding her cold flushed cheeks. It suddenly hit him. "Gwen?"

She glanced up from the snow upon hearing her name. "Yes?"

"All this talk of age, when you can't even have gotten to thirty years!"

"Twenty's more like," Fili corrected, peering across his brother at the girl. "Humans are usually matured by twenty five, and she's seemed to have a ways to go."

Now that was bloody _strange._ At twenty years old, he was still in his youth, beating his daft older brother with wooden swords, and watching his uncle work the day away in the forge. She...she was practically a _child!_ Kili frowned. "How old are you then, Gwen?"

"I should slap you."

Kili was taken aback by her sudden sharp statement. "What?"

Balin spoke up. "You should know, lad, in most cultures, it's quite rude to ask the age of a lady."

Gwen nodded firmly. "Quite right, master dwarf."

Balin chuckled. "Just trying to educate the young, daft ones, milady."

She eyed Kili and his brother, before shaking her head, and huffing. "Good luck with that."

The conversation took a shift from there, towards life back in the Blue Mountains, and Kili drifted off into his own mind for a bit, until he heard his name. He looked up to see it was Gwen. "Aye?"

"You said you had Gandalf with you. If you don't mind me asking, where's he gone?"

Kili hesitated. He felt he could trust her, but the rest of his companions were still a bit wary of the girl...He moved closer, explaining in a low voice. "We were caught in a bit of trouble and forced to take refuge in Rivendell. We might have left...quietly. Gandalf didn't know we'd be leaving at such an odd time, and well...he got left behind."

Gwen's expression didn't change, but Kili noticed her pale a little. "Left behind? Does he know where we are?"

Kili shrugged. "Never know, with a wizard. Why do you ask?"

She shook her head, eyes still a bit distant. "Nothing. Curiosity."

Kili nodded slowly. It obviously wasn't nothing, but he didn't particularly want to push the issue. Perhaps later, he'd be able to find out what it was that she wanted with the wizard.

* * *

The sun had nearly reached the peak of its arc through the clear blue sky by the time they stopped to take a break. The snow on the ground had thinned out significantly, to the point where dark rocky outcrops dotted the slopes beside the path, giving them a place to rest their tired feet. Kili found himself sitting on the edge of a slab of stone, Fili at his side. Gwen quickly shed her pack, dropping down next to Fili. Kili was a bit impressed that the girl had held up as well as she had been. She had hardly complained, able to keep up with them despite how spindly she looked compared to the rest of the company. It might've helped that her long legs allowed for her to take one step for each of their two.

"Bloody mountains," Nori groaned as he sat heavily on the rock with them. "We've been going either straight up or straight down since we left."

"Least it's not snowing," Fili pointed out.

"It's still _cold,_ though," Gwen hissed.

"You're cold?" Ori asked, overhearing her as he walked by.

She nodded, shivering slightly, clutching her cloak tighter around her. "You're not?"

"It's lovely out," Kili told her. "A tad nippy, but I've nearly worked up a sweat."

"Here," Fili cut in, unfastening his cloak and tossing it in her direction.

She caught it, eyes a bit wide in surprise. "But..."

Fili rolled his eyes. "We dwarves have a bit more to us than you. I won't be cold."

She hesitated a bit, maybe looking for something to use to argue against that, but seemed to resign herself, a restrained smile lighting her face, and a quiet "thank you," slipping from her lips. Soon enough, she had wrapped herself in the wool of the cloak up to her neck. She looked a bit ridiculous, bundled up to the chin, an absurdly contented expression on her face, but Kili found himself chuckling.

A few minutes past, in which Kili worked the numbness out of his toes, listening absently to Nori and Fili discussed where they might next find some ponies. Suddenly, Nori spoke up. "Don't hurt yourself, lad."

Kili looked up to see Ori, who had sat down with them, squinting at something held up by his eyes. Upon being addressed, he huffed, dropping his hands down. "Why don't they just make needles bigger? You' have to be a mouse to thread this daft thing..."

"Hand it here," Gwen ordered, stripping the mittens off her hands.

"What?" Ori looked up in surprise, as if having forgotten she was there. "Oh, no, Lady Gwen, it's quite alright."

She held out an open hand. "It's obviously not. Give it to me, before you become permanently cross-eyed."

Looking rather worried at the proposition, Ori passed her the sliver of the needle, along with a length of thread. Gwen worked quickly to thread it, only taking a moment of squinting. Ori was wide eyed with wonder, as she handed it back. "Must be nice, having nimble fingers like that."

"Oi, don't go envying her too much, brother," Nori said. "You should be proud to be a dwarf."

Ori practically wilted, fiddling with the edge of his scarf, saying in a rather reluctant tone, "Of course I'm proud."

Kili snorted. Ori had always been rather fond of life's more...delicate things.

"Lunch!" Bofur cheerfully announced, beginning to make his way about them with a sack, presumably full of food.

Kili was surprisingly grateful to have the meager meal dropped into his lap. It was only a chunk of bread, and a few strips of dried meat, but his stomach had begun to burn with hunger an hour ago. When Bofur reached Gwen, he held some out to her, and she chuckled. "It's alright, I don't need fed."

"Nonsense!" Bofur said. "You're all skin and bones already, and we've got enough for you to eat."

"Really..."

"Just take it," Fili said. "You'll need it to keep warm."

Gwen was still hesitating. "I'll be quite-"

Without waiting for her to finish, Bofur dropped the food onto her lap, before moving on, whistling, to Bombur. Gwen looked after him for a moment, but gave up with a sigh, staring, a bit worried at the food in her lap. When she glanced up again, Kili followed her gaze, to see Thorin watching her, his eyes guarded. He glanced from Gwen to Thorin, nearly wincing at the obvious tension in this stare-off. Gwen swallowed heavily, before silently unwrapping Fili's cloak from around her. She had to nudge it into his side for him to notice her, as he had just begun tearing into his meat. "What?" he mumbled, around a mouthful.

"I've warmed up," Gwen explained, tone a bit taught. "Thought I'd give it back."

Fili swallowed his food, frowning. "You sure?"

She pushed it towards him again. "Of course.'

"You still look a bit shivery to me."

His brother was right. Without the cover of Fili's cloak, she was hugging her own arms, jogging her legs a bit to keep her blood pumping. Kili glanced up to Thorin, who was watching the exchange carefully from afar.

"Just bloody take it back, would you?" Gwen hissed through gritted teeth.

When Fili hesitated a moment longer, Gwen simply chucked it at his head. Sputtering, Fili struggled to get out from under the fabric. Once he was free, a few moments later, she smirked. "You know, I've heard that you can test an animal's intelligence by putting a blanket over their head. I've seen dogs escape a blanket faster than that."

Fili shot her a glare, wrapping the cloak into a ball. "So, this is the treatment I get for trying to be kind to you?"

She shrugged, turning to start on her food. As he packed the cloak away, Fili rolled his eyes. Kili chuckled, but glanced back at Thorin, who was now in a deep discussion with Dwalin. Maybe he'd talk to his brother about the...oddness between Gwen and Thorin later.

For a while, Gwen, Fili and Kili were silent as they ate, Nori and Ori discussing whether puff-balls at the end of a scarf were _really_ necessary. If you asked Kili, the answer was no, but Ori had long ago compiled an extensive argument refuting that. Kili usually stopped listening around minute three of that speech.

He was just taking the first bite of his bread, (it was a bit stale and crusty, but certainly edible) when Gwen suddenly jumped a bit. "Kili, birds."

He choked a bit on his bread, but forced a swallow, to choke out, "What?"

"Get your bow," she said, eyes glued to the sky. "There's a flock of birds on their way. Free meal."

Kili exchanged a confused look with his brother, but set his lunch aside, moving to get his bow and quiver from under his pack. "Where?"

As soon as he had his bow in his hands, Gwen was at his side, dragging him to his feet and pointing to the horizon. "There. See?"

They were gaining the attention of dwarves around them, as many of them mumbled to each other, or looked to where she was pointing. Kili squinted hard at the sky, and was about to tell her she'd finally gone stark raving when a black smudge caught his attention. "Is that it?"

"Should look like a black cloud. They'll be over us in a minute or two. If you're half as good at bowman ship as you are at wasting time, we'll have some fresh meat with dinner tonight."

Kili ignored her jibe, squinted a bit more at the smudge. "You sure those are birds?"

"What else would they be?"

Fili, also staring at the horizon started in. "Bunch of locusts, maybe? A very fast moving cloud?"

She rolled her eyes. "Locusts wouldn't be up here, and it's not a bloody cloud."

Kili pulled an arrow from his quiver. "I'll trust you on this, Gwen."

"Some fresh meat would be lovely," Bombur said, fondly rubbing his belly.

"Then we'd best hope our Gwen had good eyes," Bofur chuckled.

"The question doesn't lie in them being birds or not," Gwen sighed. "That is definitely a decent sized flock. We'll just have to see if Kili's a got enough shot to snag us anything."

Kili puffed his chest out a bit. "Rest assured, Gwen, you're looking at the best shot Middle Earth's seen in the last century. If those are actually birds, we'll be eating birds."

She snorted as she sat back down. "Humble too."

"Dwarves are known for their humility," Fili explained, polishing off the last of his meal. "Another one of our amazing traits."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Where's Bilbo? I need some non-dwarven company."

Kili glanced around, till he found the Hobbit. "Having a talk with Bifur, it seems."

She raised a brow. "How's that going for him?"

"Fairly well, if I can judge by looks," Kili answered truthfully. Bilbo seemed quite contented to listen to the dwarf's Khuzdul ramblings. Kili had asked Bilbo why he bothered a few days ago, and the Hobbit had explained something about education, and the value of "preserving the ancient tongues." Kili thought it was ridiculous anyway. He wasn't even entirely sure Bifur was speaking in actual Khuzdul.

"Kili, the birds!"

He was startled from his musings, looking immediately to the sky. The smudge was, apparently actually a flock of birds, as Gwen had said. He had to commend her, she must have sharp eyes, to have seen them coming from such a distance. He nocked his arrow, raising the bow to the flock, nearly overhead, then picked one out from the center, calculated the adjustments he'd have to make due to its speed through the air, and took aim. Then came his favorite part of archery. The thing he'd originally fallen in love with, the first time he'd ever drawn a bow.

He remembered the day as if it was yesterday, even though it was nearly half a century ago.

It was an early spring morning, and after months of nagging, he was ecstatic to finally have convinced his uncle to take him out to try out archery. Thorin had dismissed it for far too long, telling the young dwarf that it wasn't an essential skill, that he could work on it once he'd mastered swordsmanship. Kili had practically danced the whole way to the small range that was set up. The bow Thorin kept on hand for emergencies was too heavy in his grasp, the string difficult to pull back, but something about the whole apparatus just felt so _right,_ that it was worth it. When he'd finally figured out how to properly nock an arrow onto the string, he'd followed the instructions of his uncle, speaking in a low, rumbling tone beside him. Drawing in a smooth breath, he pulled the string back to his ear, then with a sharp exhale, let the string snap out of his fingers.

The arrow arched, dark across the clear blue sky, then into the throng of dark shapes silhouetted in front of the blazing sun. There was a moment when the birds suddenly exploded, fluttering and throwing themselves into a panic. The flock scattered apart, convulsing, as if in terrible pain. A moment later, a deep sense of satisfaction filled him as one of the shapes, pierced through with a dark arrow, plummeted to the ground. Grinning from ear to ear, adrenaline coursing through his veins, Kili raised the bow again.

By the time the flock had gone over, two more birds had fallen to the ground, skewered through with one of Kili's arrows, while only two arrows dropped harmlessly back to the ground. They were a type of bird Kili had never seen. Black, but smaller than a crow, with a narrow, yellow beak. All he could think of as he removed the arrows from them was how good they'd taste, crackling and greasy over a fire.

As he washed his hands of the blood with his waterskin, he saw Gwen sitting quietly on a rock, a bit of a smile touching her lips. "You've good eyes, love."

She looked up upon being addressed, her smile widening as she recognized him. "And you're an alright shot."

"Alright? I'm bloody brilliant."

"And humble," she added, with a roll of her eyes.

He shot her a wide grin, wiping off his clean hands on his coat. "Of course."

* * *

By the time they had camp set up, on a patch of snowless gravel, they were all exhausted. Thorin had pushed them hard, trying to make up for time lost in waiting out the storm. They settled gratefully by the fire, eating well from a hot stew, made from potatoes, lentils and bits of meat from the birds. It settled well in Kili's stomach, taking the chill of the night out of his bones. Sitting back against a rock, he tilted his head back, eyes fixed on the column of sparks and smoke that rose up into the star-filled sky. The inn had been lovely, but a part of Kili would always feel most at home on the road, under the star strewn sky, his closest friends and family laughing and talking about nothing important around him.

A sudden dash of light caught his eye. He followed it to Gwen, leaning back on the same rock as him, a mere yard away. Her dark eyes, glinting occasionally in the flickering light, were fixed onto the embers of the fire, her fingers fiddling absently with something. Kili slid himself closer, curiosity growing. "What's that, Gwen?"

She started a bit out of her thoughts, before stopping her finger's movement. "Hmm?" She turned to look up at him, and Kili jerked back at the closeness of their faces. Their noses had nearly brushed against each other. Kili fought back a blush, as Gwen ducked away again, a smile flicking at her lips, before she held the thing flat in her palm. Kili quickly identified it as the ring Nori had nearly stolen a few days back. "Could I see?" he prompted, voice low.

She hesitated for a moment, but complied, dropping it into his open palm. It hit his rough skin, heavy, warm, and smooth. The ring was a dark silver color, graceful, but still sturdy enough. At one time, it might've shone like a mirror, but age had taken its toll, wearing scuff marks into the otherwise smooth, rounded surface. It certainly wasn't dwarven make, too simple and slight for that. Nor did it hold the timeless perfection of Elven craftsmanship. It was made by human hands, if he had to take a guess. "Where'd you get this?"

"It was given to me."

Kili glanced up to her face, where a somber expression twisted her features.

She took his look as a prompt, and continued. "For most human cultures, it's traditional for a woman to be given a ring upon her betrothal."

"Be-" Durin's beard, was Gwen _married?_ "You can't be-"

"It was my mother's," She cut him off, chuckling a bit at the shock writ over is features. "Worry not, Master Dwarf."

Kili let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Mahal, Gwen, you scared me."

"You should pay more attention to other cultures than your own," she admonished, rolling her eyes. "It would help defray the image of you as an idiot. If you did know a thing or two, you'd know that I don't even wear this as a betrothal band."

"And how would you wear it as a betrothal band?"

She lifted a brow at this question, but Kili merely shrugged innocently, fighting against a mischievous grin. "Simply trying to pay more attention to cultures other than my own."

She scoffed. "Cheeky bastard."

"C'mon, Gwen," he prompted, taking up her hands in his own. "Won't you help educate a poor, ignorant dwarf?"

"If you stop blathering like that," she snapped, pulling her hands out of his grasp. Kili looked up at her pleadingly, and it seemed that she cracked. "It would have to be worn on this finger to actually mean anything important," she explained a bit exasperated as she indicated the fourth finger of her left hand.

Kili considered her hand and the ring in his palm, before he reached out to pull her right hand onto his leg. He fiddled with the ring for a moment, polishing on his trouser leg, before slipping it onto the finger she'd mentioned. He turned her hand carefully, inspecting it. It seemed to fit her perfectly. The dark of the metal contrasted sharply with her skin, bringing out its almost luminescent pale quality. Kili was suddenly reminded of the first time he'd seen her hand, when he'd realized she wasn't just some human man. He smiled, stroking his thumb over her tiny, delicate knuckles. "It looks...right."

Gwen's voice was hoarse with emotion, and for once, she wasn't insulting him as she breathed out, "Aye. It's...there's a lot of memories held up in it."

Kili looked up at her face, only to see her eyes fixed on their hands. "Care to share them?"

She chuckled, eyes flashing with reflected firelight. "Now isn't the time or place, Master Dwarf."

Kili raised his other hand, to hold onto hers, forcing her eyes up to his. "Will there ever be a time or place?"

Gwen stared him back for a few long moments, before answering. "Perhaps."

* * *

The next week of travel passed surprisingly quickly. The snow wasn't much of a problem anymore, but they did find themselves on some rather treacherous mountain passes. Every night found the company around a fire, eating a hot meal and laughing about everything and nothing. There was a definite comfort in this sort of daily monotony.

Of course, this couldn't last too long.

Oin had advised a bit earlier in the day that they find a place to take shelter, but Thorin had taken one look at the nearly clear skies above them, and insisted they press on. And now, they were certainly paying the price.

It seemed as if the rain had a mind of its own, slanting furiously at the cliffside they clung too. Kili was forced to keep himself glued to the mountain's face as they crept along the slick walkway, lest the wind tear him off the path, hurling him into the abyss only feet away. His clothing, soaked through with water, weighed him down, making his every step a struggle, as rain-soaked chunks of hair crept over his face periodically, trying to blind him. Behind him, Gwen was a bit worse for wear. Her height made her seem to teeter dangerously with each step, her cloak billowing out to catch at the howling wind.

Lightning shattered the turbulent sky into fingers of angry light, as thunder rattled against his eardrums, seeming to shake the mountain itself. Kili had begun to wonder if this storm would really be the end of them. The company of Thorin Oakenshield, only able to be defeated by nature itself. That had a bit of a nice ring to it, he had to admit.

Thorin's bellowing cut through the howl of wind and roar of rain, though Kili couldn't make out his specific words. He took it as some sort of a command to "press on!" or "seek out shelter!" Both of those were a lovely enough idea, but a little difficult to execute in their present circumstance. There was a cracking sound, and Kili raised his head, squinting in the rain, till he could see what was going on. His heart dropped to his gut. The path had crumbled away from under Bilbo's feet, and Dwalin and Dori had to scramble to keep him from tumbling right down the cliff, to be smashed to bits at the bottom of the stony valley. He felt Gwen reach for him, and glanced back to see her eyes wide with panic, glued to the hobbit. Kili grabbed firmly onto her outstretched arm, in an effort to comfort her. It wasn't good, seeing her panicked like that.

Thorin's voice called out again, this time a bit more discernible. "We must find shelter!"

" _Look out_!" another voice bellowed, sounding like Dwalin.

Kili's grip tightened on Gwen's arm as he saw what Dwalin was speaking of, a massive boulder sailing through the air towards them. He was frozen with horror, watching it near them, but was shaken from this stupor as the massive chunk of stone collided with the cliff face above them. The air shook with a low, cracking noise, as the mountain beneath his feet shuddered horribly. The dwarves around him screamed unintelligibly as chunks of rock began raining down over their heads, nearly smashing their skulls to pieces. Kili crouched into the mountain face beside him, pulling Gwen down closer into him. While his head was still down, he heard Balin yell out clearly over the downpour around them, and the crackle of thunder in the sky, "This is no thunder storm, it's a thunder _battle!_ Look!"

Kili peered up through his hood, and flying strands of hair, to see a terrifyingly massive silhouette cut into the light of the storm sky. It drew itself up out of a mountain face only a bit away, struggling a bit, like a mouse stuck in syrup. Once free, it plucked up a boulder as easily as if it were a cup of tea. "Giants!" a voice, likely Bofur, called out. " _Storm giants!"_

Giants indeed. The massive, jagged figure lobbed the boulder at another giant that had just come into view. It hit the new creature in the neck, sending it staggering back with a roar of anguish into a mountain. Thorin started screaming again, as the stone beneath them began to shake and wobble horribly. Kili's fingers scrabbled for purchase against the slick stone face behind him, as more rocks rained down onto their heads. These tremors only became stronger, until Kili's footing seemed to grow terribly uneven. He glanced down, eyes shooting wide in surprise. "What's happening?"

The ground between his feet had formed a deep crack, that only seemed to be growing. A yank on his cloak pulled him back, onto one side of it. His heart lurched into his throat as a widening crevice began to yawn in the walkway where he had been.

"Gwen, grab my hand!"

He looked up to see it was Fili who'd shouted, reaching one hand out to Gwen, who's heels were over the edge of this crevice, her balance swaying. Kili reached out for the girl as well. "No!"

The hand on his cloak yanked him away again, this time, dragging him a good distance from the fall. Kili watched, helplessly as Fili pulled Gwen away from the edge, into him. As he felt himself rise up and away from them, the image Kili saw would forever be ingrained in his mind. Gwen, dark red hood clinging to her head, cloak fluttering and whipping about madly in the gale, dark locks of hair pasted to her pale cheeks, lips parted in a bit of a scream, eyes filled with such awful _fear,_ as she watched him hurtle away into the storm.

Just as soon as they had risen out of view from the others, they were flying sideways. A scream was ripped from Kili's throat as he was nearly thrown off the edge, saved only by gripping hard into the mountain behind him. The platform came to a sudden, bone jarring halt, more stones raining down, and he was being ushered, running down the path, onto another ledge. He had barely made the jump over the few foot gap, when their old foothold peeled away into the night.

There was hardly a moment of rest, before a massive fist swept in, only a few yards above their heads, scraping along the cliff face, sending more sharp rocks down at them. The world shook as one of the colossal beasts fell, howling in agony, with a sound like the mountains themselves groaning anguish. Another was soon to follow it, its head smashed off of its neck. The thing's skull flew towards them, colliding with the cliff face, narrowly missing smashing them right off the mountain, as it bounced into the valley.

The ledge that held the other half of the company swung by them, only yards away, and Kili was forced to watch helplessly, as they swung out of view, with a horrific crash, into the mountain. Kili found himself screaming with the others, as panic flooded him. They couldn't have survived that. The massive pillar of stone that they had been perched on fell back away, no evidence of dwarf or human on it. The line shifted as they ran to see the spot the others had collided with.

"They're all right, they're alive!" Balin called out down the line.

Kili could have collapsed with relief. Fili, Gwen, Bilbo, alive. Alive.

This feeling was quickly shattered when he heard a voice call out. "Where's the hobbit!?"

Kili shoved forward, until he saw Bilbo hanging from his hands to the edge of the cliff, his feet dangling uselessly, silent terror written over his features. A few figures dived to the edge, reaching out, but the hobbit was too far down for them to reach. Kili began to feel sick to the stomach. After all this trouble, Bilbo was going to die like this? He began forcing his way past the other dwarves, desperate to find some way to help.

He was stopped in his tracks as figure he could clearly identify as Gwen was suddenly hanging down beside the hobbit, hoisting him upward by the back of the coat to the others. As they dragged Bilbo up to safety, Gwen's footing crumbled, and for a heart-stopping moment, Kili watched with wide, horrified eyes as she fell...Only to be caught around the forearm by a dwarf Kili could only identify as Thorin. With a bit of help from Dwalin, she too, was hauled up the cliff face. Kili pushed his way through, and when Gwen was safely up onto the ledge, she nearly fell into his arms. He held her tightly against him, trying to use this as convincing evidence to his still thrumming heart that it was time to calm down. They were all safe.

He loosened his grip around her a bit. "You alright?"

She pulled away a bit to look up at him, though he could feel her fingers twisted tightly in his tunic. "Well enough."

Kili caught Bofur, near Bilbo, mentioning something about nearly losing their burglar again.

It seemed Thorin overheard this too, as he spoke up sharply, "He's been lost ever since he left home. He should never have come. He has no place amongst us."

Kili looked to see a deep frown on Gwen's face as she looked at Bilbo's sort of lost expression. He held her for a moment longer, assuring himself that she really was okay, before releasing her. "I'm going to help Fili."

She nodded numbly, untangling her hands from his shirt, and wandering off, presumably to comfort Bilbo. Kili watched her for a moment, then went to help Fili haul Bombur back onto his feet. "Holding up, alright, brother?"

The blonde dwarf smirked. "Takes more than a few storm giants to put me down. You should know this by now."

"Trust me, I know," Kili assured him, tugging viciously upward on Bombur's arm.

Fili also tried to pull, and they managed to raise the round dwarf a bit off the ground. "Be careful with Gwen, Kee."

Kili looked up, confused, and a bit alarmed. "What?"

"She's got an absolutely _ear piercing_ scream. I swear she could wake the dead."

"Get under him a bit more," Kili instructed, before addressing Fili's previous statement. "Can't blame her too much. Most don't wake up thinking 'You know what I'd like to do today? I'd like to be used as a knee guard in a storm giant battle.'"

"I actually say that to myself every morning," Fili told him, prying Bombur a bit off the ground. "Surprised you haven't noticed it yet."

"I've learned to block-" he grunted with exertion, giving one last yank to get Bombur back on his feet. "I've learned to block out most of what you say."

Fili rolled his eyes, giving the still teetering dwarf a hearty pat on the back. "Is that so?"

"Did you say something, Bombur?" Kili asked, the large dwarf, ignoring his brother.

Bombur simply grumbled something unheard, before waddling into the cave opening where the others had filed into.

"Kee?"

"Ah, there was that voice again. Odd. Must be hearing things."

As he passed, Fili gave Kili a good solid punch in the shoulder. "You're _so_ mature."

Kili chuckled. "One of my better traits."

Fili rolled his eyes good naturedly, walking at Kili's side into the cave. It was wonderful, to finally get out of the rain and wind. Kili was immediately very aware of the sodden layers over him and shivered. It would be brilliant to have a hot fire to warm his toes on. However, based on the lack of fire and sullen expressions of his companions, Thorin had ordered against a fire. Kili was quickly finding a bit of distaste towards his uncle growing inside him.

Despite the cold, gritty floor beneath him, and soaking wet...everything, Kili was extremely grateful to lay down in his bedroll, between Gwen and Fili, as he had fallen asleep every night on the road thus far. He was cold, miserable, and battered, but at least the whole company was still alive. Sleep came easily.

He was woken again by the sound of low voices that he was unable to make out. It was very dark, only the faint glint of moonlight illuminating his surroundings. In this wash of white light, he found himself watching Gwen's sleeping figure. Her hair was still damp, wild curls sticking all to her face. Her sleeping features had a bit of a quiet grace to them. The sweep of her dark lashes against the porcelain of her cheek. The smooth set of her jaw, the clean sweep of her temple into her hairline. He raised up a hand from his blanket, to smooth the strands of damp hair from her face. His fingers dragged the soft strands up her temple, over-he blinked once, twice. He pulled his hand away from her, heart picking up a quick, alarmed beat. Was his vision somehow blurring and twisting? Maybe a trick of the shadows and the moonlight? A dream? Whatever explanation he tried to use, there was no denying the fact that her ear, with the hair pulled away from it seemed...pointed.

"Wake up!"

And for the umpteenth time that day, Kili felt the ground begin to shift underneath him.

* * *

 _ **Ah, and so the plot thickens...Or starts to exist, really. For the record, that bird they ate exists. It's called the alpine chough. You see? I did my research! The reviews, faves and follows were wonderful! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter. Questions? Protests? Noticed a typo? Favorite line or section? Hypotheses? Just type anything in that pretty little review box.**_

 **FAIRLY IMPORTANT:** _ **So, I officially have this story mostly written. It is, in total, probably going to be eighteen or nineteen chapters long, and I have sixteen done. All it should take now is for me to edit them and post them. So,**_ **what would you guys say to the idea of Monday or Tuesday updates as well as Friday updates** _ **? I don't know if I should do this or not though, so leave a comment or shoot me a PM saying what you think, please. Have a great week, I love you guys!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: The Longest of Days**_

 _ **(Wow. I had the document for chapter 8 uploaded here. Don't know how long that's been a problem. Sorry!)**_


	6. The Longest of Days

_**I own nothing but my OC. Tolkien and Peter Jackson get all other credit.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER SIX**

THE LONGEST OF DAYS

The first thing that struck Kili was the stench. It was as if the entire cavern they were falling into had been left to rot for months. The air burned at the back of his throat, and might have sent him retching, had he not been falling through the air at the time it hit him. The next would be the feeling of having the breath smashed from his lungs, as he hit the ground hard, more than one dwarf falling on top of him. The noise was next, a terrible cacophony of shrieks, squeaks, and growls that echoed massively off of the yawning stone space around them.

The platform they had landed on began to rattle and shudder terribly, and in a moment, the weight of dwarves above him was being lifted. Although, Kili found no relief in this as he was pinched and prodded up to his feet by half a dozen nasty little creatures he knew to call goblins. He was pushed in line with the others, being both shepherded and dragged down a narrow, rickety wooden walkway. As the space opened up around them, Kili was horrified. It seemed they had stumbled upon the mother of all goblin nests. The cave was massive, and writhing in every crack and crevice with slimy, near-naked goblins. The whole cavern was lit in hot, angry firelight, and as they entered the larger space, the noise only grew worse. Shrill, out of tune horns blared across the cave, the clashing of metal cymbals and drums from some corner picking out a muddled, foul melody.

Kili's eyes were drawn up the walkway they were being forced across, to what looked like a massive, jaggedly decrepit throne. On, it, hacking up a lungful of something awful, was the most hideous creature Kili had ever laid eyes on. It seemed more like a sack of melty fat, than an actual living creature. Its skin was pallid and thin, appearing a bit slimy and covered in boils and pocks. Its chin hung, like a beard of wrinkled fat from its sagging face. A few tangled, nearly rancid chunks of hair clung to its skull, falling over its bulging, watery eyes, pressed into the dough-like shape of its face. Once again, Kili found himself nearly retching. This whole place was _miserable._

It only grew worse as the horrendous beast announced in a grating, wobbly voice that it "Felt a song coming on!" While the sounds that began to emerge from the creature's throat could hardly really be considered a song, it seared at Kili's ears, ringing ceaselessly to a piercing pitch in his skull.

 _Clap, snap, the black crack,_

 _Grip, grab, pinch and nab,_

 _Batter and beat,_

 _Make 'em stammer and squeak._

Kili was only further nauseated as the beast staggered up to its feat, its massive belly wobbling and wiggling all the way, the platform shaking and swaying under its shifting weight.

 _Pound, pound far underground!_

The creature's howling reached such an unpleasantly high pitch that Kili had to yank his arms free, just to clutch at his near bleeding ears, desperate to muffle the noise, even for a moment. It didn't help alleviate the pain.

 _Down, down, down, in goblin town!_

The rest of the cave's inhabitants howled that line in repeat, no better at singing than the large one.

The beast continued screeching and spitting, as the dwarves were prodded into a group, only a yard or two away from the wobbling fat-sack. Kili was shoved into his friends, and found himself grateful to be free of the sweaty, grabbing and pinching hands of the wretched little goblins, although they were still surrounded. He had ended up near the front of the group, by Fili and Thorin, right up close to the horror show-performance they were being forced to witness. Kili winced as the creature spat some line about 'the end of his prong,' promptly spearing one of the goblins at its feet through with its blunt wooden staff. He waved this around for a bit, before the desecrated goblin was flung off the end, soaring through the air to some random corner of the cave.

Kili looked away, inspecting his company around him. They all seemed fine, maybe a bit battered, but certainly alive to witness this horror. Just..."Gwen." He turned to Fili, next to him, clutching frantically onto his sleeve. "Where is she? I don't see her!"

Fili spared him a glance, before fixing his gaze back to the beast, as it swung and staggered about. "I'm sure she's fine, Kee. As fine as the rest of us, anyway."

"But I don't-"

Kili was forced into silence as the last "down, down, down in goblin town" was bellowed out, complete with a waddling spin, showing off every angle of the colossal fat blob. It went silent, panting hot, rancid breaths over them, before staggering back into its throne, ignoring the pained squeals of smaller goblins, crushed beneath its warty, gnarled, bare feet. "Catchy, isn't it?" it asked, far too cheerful for the tumult of panic and pain pulsating through Kili. "It's one of my own compositions," it continued, sounding almost prideful as it wiggled back into its throne.

"That's not a song," Balin began from behind him. "It's an abomination!"

The creature interrupted the dwarves' cries of agreement, shouting out with a wave of its arm, "Abominations! Mutations! Deviations! That's all you're going to find down here."

Kili had to agree. This whole place was _had_ to be a mistake.

The goblins suddenly were forcing their way in between them, pulling out weapons, and dropping them down. Kili tried to smack off the one that grabbed for his sword, but was startled back as it nearly bit him.

The large goblin surged forward off of its throne again, its fat-beard flapping and jiggling, as it scanned its blood-shot eyes over the disgruntled dwarves. "Who would be so bold as to come armed into _my_ kingdom?"

Ah, so this was the leader. Made sense that they'd put the most horrendously horrid one as their king.

"Spies?" it spat. "Thieves!? _Assassins!?"_

"Dwarves, your malevolence," the one who'd nearly bitten Kili answered.

"Dwarves!?" the king roared, spewing bits of spittle over them.

"We found 'em on the front porch," the creature continued.

"Well, don't just stand there, search them!" The leader bellowed, waving an arm over them. "Every crack, every-"

"This one's dead!"

Kili's blood ran cold at the sound of another creature's screech.

The massive goblin swung around. "Dead?"

"And this ain't a dwarf!"

No. Mahal, no. His mind scrambled to find another possibility. Maybe it was just a long dead corpse that they had rediscovered? Maybe this...non-dwarf they'd found was simply unconscious, not dead?

His worst suspicions were confirmed as he was shoved aside to make room for a few goblins to get to the front, carrying what looked terribly similar to Gwen, limbs hanging limp and awkwardly. "No... Gwen!"

His collar was yanked back as he tried to dart forward, choking any more cries out. "Silence!" It was Fili, holding him back as Gwen's corpse was carried past him by a handful of filthy goblins.

"Let me go," Kili hissed.

"No," Fili snapped, voice barely above a whisper. "Stop acting rash, or we'll all be dead too."

Kili twisted around to respond to that, but was silenced by stern look from his uncle.

He turned in time to see, to his horror, the massive goblin pinching up one of Gwen's legs between its sausage-like fingers, dangling her before its eyes. "Now what do we have here? A _girl?"_

Kili shot a glance to his brother, who was watching this proceed, rage glinting in his pale eyes. So Kili wasn't the only one there wanting nothing more than to drive a blade through the creature's wretched brain. It raised its other hand, prodding at Gwen's body, which continued to hang limp and awkward, her joints bending at unnatural angles. Bile rose in Kili's throat. Mahal, Gwen was...dead. He could see blood dripping from her, to stain the ground a dark red. Had it been in their fall? An accident with a stray blade? Had one of the goblins speared her? "She's a pretty little thing," the goblin mused. "All bones though."

The goblins at his feet squawked in agreement. The big goblin laughed a wet, slimy chuckle, tossing the limp body down beside its throne. She hit the platform with a clattering thud that echoed chillingly through the air. "Would've had fun making her screech."

A wave of hot fury washed through Kili as images of Gwen, screaming and writhing, as she was torn apart, limb from limb by these creepy mutated slugs filled his mind. "You slimy tongued disfigured-"

"Well, carry on, then! Search 'em from head to toe!"

Fili exchanged a look with Kili, warning him back to silence, and Kili was forced to bite his tongue hard enough to taste blood. One more comment like that, and nothing in all of Middle Aarth would be able to stop him from barreling forward and removing the massive blight's head from its shoulders. Goblins flooded through them again, and Kili stood stock still in barely restrained rage, simply focusing on the goblin king as it's underlings searched him over, their little bony fingers reaching into every pocket, every fold of clothing. There was a clatter on falling metal, when one of the goblins announced, "It is my belief, your great protuberance, that they are in league with elves!" It handed up a shiny silver candelabra.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kili saw Thorin stiffen. In league with elves. Kili would have snorted, if he still wasn't so near to either vomiting or going on a blind murder rampage.

The large goblin squinted at the base of the candelabra. "Made in...Rivendell!" It rolled the 'r' sloppily, spewing out more gobs of spittle. "Second age," it scoffed, before pitching it off the side of the walkway. "Couldn't give it away! What are you doing in these parts?" The goblin continued, after a bit of murmuring among the dwarves.

"Don't worry, lads," Oin said, cutting his way to the front of the crowd. "I'll handle this."

"No tricks!" the king spat. "I want the truth, what and all."

"You're going to have to speak up," Oin told him. "Your boy's flattened my trumpet." He held up the smashed bit of metal as evidence.

"I'll flatten more than your trumpet!" the goblin roared, rolling up onto its feet again.

Kili resisted a biting remark about how it already _had_ flattened Gwen as Bofur shoved forward next to him. "If there's more information you're wanting, I'm the one you should speak to," he called out, in a rather friendly tone.

Silence fell back down as the beast processed this information, before responding with a grunted "Hmm?"

Bofur paused for a moment, before announcing, "We were on the road. Well, it's not so much of a road as a path. Actually, it's not even that, come to think of it. It's more like a track."

The king groaned a bit at the dwarf's rambling.

"Anyway, the point is, we were on this road, like a path, like a track, and then we weren't!" He punctuated this with a light shrug. Kili had to commend him a bit for this lying under pressure. Not quite as impressive as Bilbo, but...wait, where was Bilbo? Kili couldn't remember seeing him...he nearly swore out loud. Mahal, they couldn't afford to lose any more members of the company! Their _burglar,_ no less!

"Which, is a problem," Bofur continued. "Because...we were supposed to be in Dunland last Tuesday."

"Visiting distant relations," Dori filled in.

"Some in-laws on my mother's side," Bofur added

The goblin cut them off, leaning forward and commanding them to "Shut _up!"_ There was a moment of silence, in which Bofur practically wilted at the demise of his tall tale, before the goblin continued. "If they will not talk, we'll make them squawk!"

A roar of approval started up around the cave and Kili was filled with dread. This was not good. This whole situation was remarkably not good.

"Bring up the Mangler!" it shouted. "Bring up the _Bone Breaker!_ Start with the youngest," it drawled, picking out a terrified looking Ori from the crowd.

"Wait!" Thorin suddenly belted, shoving forward.

"Well, well, _well,"_ chuckled the king. "Look who it is! Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, King Under the Mountain," it swept a bow, but there was nothing respectful about it. "Oh," it said, feigning surprise. "But I'm forgetting, you don't _have_ a mountain, and you're not a king. Which makes you...nobody, really."

Kili felt his blood begin to boil even more. Even without his mountain, without his crown, Thorin was more honorable than this blubbering fat-sack had ever even hoped to be.

"I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head," it nearly purred. "Just the head," it clarified. "Nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak. An _old enemy_ of yours. The Pale Orc, astride a white warg."

Kili could tell Thorin was seething with rage, as he bit out, "Azog, the Defiler was destroyed. He was slain in battle long ago."

"So you think his defiling days are done, do you?" The goblin wheezed out a chuckle at the proposition, before turning to one of his underlings. "Send word to the Pale Orc. Tell him I have found his prize."

The creature sped away, into the darkness.

The king began 'singing' again, as yet another wave of goblins started on them to scrounge out the last of their belongings. Kili tilted his head up, trying to escape the smell of sweat and rot that their every move released, until he found one reaching into the pocket of his trousers that he kept his mum's promise stone in. He snatched onto the creature's spindly wrist, squeezing hard enough to break it. "Hands off. That's mine."

It shrieked in pain, and soon, Kili had another dozen hands, grabbing for his pocket. Just as one bit onto his forearm, the 'singing' cut off abruptly, the King cowering back into its throne, pointing at something on the ground. "I know that sword! It is the goblin cleaver! The biter! The blade that sliced a thousand necks! Slash them! Beat them! _Kill_ them!"

The efforts of the beasts redoubled, and pain started everywhere, as his hair was pulled and yanked, sharp nails pinching his skin, the sting of a lash nipping at his back.

"Kill them all! Cut off his head!"

Kili craned his neck to see Thorin had been taken to the ground, a creature bearing a long, jagged blade perched on his chest. Kili roared in outrage, his muscles straining to break free of the goblins, to no avail. He had to save Thorin. No one else that he loved could die on his watch that day.

Suddenly, there was a low pounding sound, that was somehow soft and completely deafening at the same time. All of his extremities went numb, every thought draining out of his head as a burst of white light washed everything out around him.

There was silence as his senses slowly filtered back. The awful smell, the weight of goblins atop him, and below him, but still silence, and near darkness, as the torches flickered back to life. Finding himself somehow on his back, Kili began dragging himself into a sitting position. It felt almost like he was hungover, black spots clouding his vision.

"Take up arms," a low voice started. Kili squinted up to see the familiar, lanky silhouette of Gandalf. "Fight...fight!"

It all came back in a rush, and Kili was tearing himself free from the goblins, adrenaline coursing through his veins. It was time for them to die. Each and every one of them that had laughed at Gwen's death. Each one that mocked Thorin. Each and every one that laid a hand on any of his companions. They were going to die.

"He wields the foe hammer!" The king wailed hopelessly.

Kili ignored his ramblings in favor of catching his sword that was tossed over to him. He flipped it in his grip, happy to have the familiar weight back in his grasp, before swinging forward, slicing open the gut of one goblin that rushed him. He thrust the blade deep into its chest. It fell towards him, and he hissed in its ear, "Are you the one that killed her? You cursed _bastard_!" Shaking with rage, he yanked the blade out of its corpse, letting it gurgle blood pitifully from its mouth in response.

"What about you?" he spat, turning on another one, hacking it nearly in half. "I bet you were the one!" A bit of pleasure went through him at the sight of plain terror in its gaze, before its eyes glazed over, dead.

Caught up in this feeling, he narrowly missed dodging one that charged, shrieking, at his back. He cleaved its skull in half from the top, savagely twisting the blade out of the body, energy roaring through his veins.

"You should really be more careful, Master Dwarf."

Kili's muscles seized up at that sound, and it seemed almost as if he was in slow motion as he twisted to see a terribly familiar tall figure, yank her blade across the throat of a goblin. Kili's eyes were wide as the body crumpled to the ground.

"He nearly got you," Gwen explained, a cheeky grin on her lips.

"You're...you're alive," Kili breathed, voice hoarse.

She was a bit battered up, hair mussed, face smeared with blood and dirt, clothes torn, but she was most certainly _alive_.

"Same to you," She said, turning her attention to slashing the belly of another creature open. "But we can catch up later. You should be killing things right now."

Kili blinked out of his stupor, barely twisting in time to spear a goblin on his blade. He shook it off, filling with a new energy. Gwen was alive. Alive and fighting at his side.

"Follow me," Gandalf commanded. "Quick!"

Kili was about to finish off another one, when Gwen took him by the elbow, dragging him away from the fight, in the direction the company was running, along one of the swaying wooden walkways. Kili glanced back to see the whole cave pulsing with movement, every path flooded with goblins, hungry for dwarf blood. "Faster!" he called, stumbling slightly on an uneven plank.

As the first wave of goblins scurried down the walkway towards them, Dwalin screamed something unintelligible, before cutting free a long piece of wood from the side, hoisting it up, and using it to sweep the goblins right out of their path, They fell, screaming and squirming down, crashing through lower walkways and bouncing off cave walls. Their path soon became too curved for that method, so the log was abandoned, in favor for all of them hacking at the goblins that came at them, slowly pressing their way onward. A certain bit of pride filled him, at the sight of Gwen at his side, fighting off just as many goblins as the rest of them, the silver curve of her blade flashing in the firelight as it spelled death to all who came near her. It was fascinating, watching her fight like this. She was like water, twisting and moving, treating her blade more as an extension of her arm than a weapon. Those were the movements of a well practiced warrior.

He had been making an effort to stay behind Gwen, to keep her from getting left behind, but this quickly proved an ill formed plan when she jolted back into him, narrowly dodging an arrow aimed for her head. Kili pushed in front of her, and the next arrow clanged against his sword, bouncing harmlessly to the ground. He deflected another two arrows, before inspiration struck, and he grabbed up the wooden ladder leaning next to him, letting it fall down, encasing the heads and shoulders off the goblins crowding the walkway in front of him. With help from Gwen, Bofur, Bifur and Bombur, they were able to push the goblins helplessly along the path, before walking them straight off the edge of the platform. The ladder fell, in between the two walkways, forming a path to the platform that held the others. Dwalin, on the other side, planted a foot on it, keeping it from sliding about, and Kili shoved Gwen forward, before charging across himself, to Gandalf's shouts of "Come on, quickly!"

They fought their way along for another minute, before Kili felt the party come to a stop. He peered ahead to see they had reached a dead end. The onslaught was charging down the walkway towards them...then suddenly, the platform jolted beneath him, the rope that had held it secure to the rest of the system severed through by none other than Gwen. He dropped down, as they swung out across the chasm, dark emptiness visible over the sides, and in between the slats of wood.

"Jump!" Thorin commanded, as their platform came to hang directly over a near empty one on the other side.

Kili's stomach dropped in his gut as they swung back the other way. He felt like he was on a giant child's plaything. And he was not enjoying it. The next time they got back to the nearly empty side, the rest of them leapt off, cutting the ropes so that the goblins left on the platform fell into the depths of the cavern.

They continued to run from there. Kili was beginning to feel the exertion take its toll on his body. His lungs burned with each breath, arms feeling like lead weights every time he raised them. One glance at his companions, however, all of them fighting as hard as they could, gave him the energy to charge forward, slicing through his foe. They were crossing to the other side of the cavern, when the horrific giant goblin from before burst up through the walkway, stopping them in their tracks.

"You thought you could escape me?" It swung its club down at Gandalf, forcing the wizard to fall backwards, and making the whole platform rattle. "What are you going to do _now,_ wizard?"

In response, Gandalf jabbed forward with his staff, popping the monster's eyeball right out. It gurgled and cawed with pain, clutching at its injured eye, opening it up for Gandalf to slash its overly massive blob of belly right open. It grabbed at its gut, falling to its knees. "That'll do it."

Gandalf finished it off, slicing through its excessive throat fat. It fell heavily forward, and the platform beneath them began to quiver and crack. Kili found Gwen's forearm, gripping it hard, as well as grabbing onto the coat of the dwarf next to him. It was only another moment before their bit of the platform had broken right out, sending them freefalling down the cavern. They all screamed, and Kili winced as he found Fili was right. Gwen's scream in his ear was at such a high pitch, it hurt his head a bit. Still, he wrapped an arm securely around her as she crouched down, hopefully keeping her from flying off to her death.

They crashed down into one wall, splintering half of the platform into nothingness. They then fell through another cluster of wooden structures, and Kili felt the floorboards beneath him splinter away. He clung tightly to Gwen as his foothold crumbled, falling back, only to be caught by remaining bits of the structure. He clutched onto the rough frame with one hand, and to Gwen with the other. At last, their fall came to a halt, the layers of the platform all compressing together, with dwarves as cushioning in between them. Not for the first time that evening, Kili found his chest smashed under the weight of more than one dwarf. As he dared to open his eyes, he saw they were at the bottom of the cavern. "Well, that could have been worse," Bofur announced, cheerfully as ever.

Just as he said that, something else smashed down onto the pile, something _much_ heavier than a dwarf. "You've _got_ to be joking," Dwalin spat through gritted teeth.

Kili had to agree. This whole day had been absurd.

"Bloody goblins," groaned Gwen, as she tried to lift some of the debris off of her. "I'm not meant for this sort of treatment."

Kili shifted his arms, till he was able to lift the weight off of Gwen a bit. "Go on, while I have it..." he let the load drop, eyes going wide in horror. The whole side of the cavern was a sea of raging goblins, coming at a frighteningly fast pace straight for them. "Gandalf!"

He became more frantic, then, wriggling out from under the beams of the platform, as Dwalin assessed the situation. "There's too many! We can't fight them."

Kili hauled himself to his feet, offering out a hand to Gwen, who had also just freed herself.

"Only one thing will save us," Gandalf explained. "Daylight! Come on!"

They were then yet again making a mad dash, towards the yawning entrance to a tunnel, that Kili could only assume would lead them to freedom. The cool darkness was a refreshing change from the oppressive heat and noise of the main cave. It took a bit for his eyes to adjust to the darkness, but he hardly tripped or stumbled, as he and his companions rushed through. Not for the first time on that quest, Kili thanked Mahal that they had Gandalf with them. Without the wizard, they'd have been dead as a doorknob ten minutes ago. His heart leapt as he saw a glint of something that looked suspiciously like sunlight, at the end of the cave. "There it is!" Gandalf assured them. "Press onward!"

The moment Kili burst from the tunnel was glorious. Fresh mountain air rushed into his lungs, clearing the rotten, rancid feeling of the goblin caves from his throat. The light was pale and clear, a stark comparison to the hot, sticky light from before. The breeze ran cool fingers through his hair, drying the sweat from his brow as they sprinted down the mountainside. When they were a good distance away from the cave, Gandalf stopped, counting off the dwarves as they shot past him. "... five... six... seven... eight... Bifur... Bofur, that's ten...Fili, Kili and...My dear girl, is that you?"

Gwen stopped a bit before the wizard, panting, sweating, and covered in grime, but grinning from ear to ear. "Mithrandir, my dear friend, you are a sight for sore eyes."

"I could say-ah, Bombur, that's thirteen." He turned back to Gwen for a moment. "We'll catch up later. But...that's only thirteen. Where's Bilbo?" He stepped down from his rock, looking around. "Where is our hobbit?"

The dreadful feeling from earlier returned to Kili's stomach, full force, as Gwen came to stand by him and his brother, her gaze worried.

"Where is our hobbit!?" Gandalf repeated, growing more upset.

The others looked around, but Kili knew he was nowhere to be found. He had noticed Bilbo's absence in the very beginning, and had done nothing about it. Mahal, he was an idiot! He should have said something then. But now, it seemed, the likelihood of the hobbit's survival was growing slimmer and slimmer.

"Curse that halfling!" Gloin spat. "He's gotten himself lost again?"

"I thought he was with Dori," Oin explained.

"Don't blame _me!"_ Dori snapped back.

"Where did you last see him?" Gandalf asked.

"I think I saw him slip away when they first collared us," Nori explained.

"And what happened, exactly?" When no one volunteered a response, Gandalf pressed on. "Tell me!"

"I'll tell you what happened," Thorin growled, starting into a pace. "Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it. He's thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm house since first he stepped out of his door. We will not be seeing our hobbit again. He is _long_ gone."

Kili shared a look with Fili, of distress, maybe a bit of concern. Yes, Bilbo was a bit obsessed with his home, and his comfortable life, but he wouldn't just abandon them, right? Not after all they'd been through...

"No," a small voice suddenly announced. "He isn't."

Gwen let out a relieved breath at Kili's side. "Bilbo. There you are."

The little hobbit stood beside a tree, shifting from foot to foot in the nervous way he usually did. He seemed a bit bruised and battered, and his waist coat was hanging open, but he was most certainly alive.

"Bilbo Baggins," Gandalf chuckled, relaxing. "I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life."

Kili glanced to Gwen, who looked terribly relieved, happiness glinting in her weary eyes. He let a grin slide onto his face. "Bilbo! We'd given you up!"

"How on earth did you get past the goblins?" Fili asked, wonder clear in his tone.

Maybe Bilbo didn't think he was a burglar, but with all the sticky situations he's talked or snuck his way out of, the hobbit would clearly serve perfectly for what they needed.

"How, indeed," breathed Dwalin, suspicion tingeing his other-wise awe-filled demeanor.

Bilbo hesitated, clearly uncomfortable, before letting out an obviously fake laugh. That was...odd. What did he have to be awkward about?

"Well, what does it matter?" Gandalf continued, drawing attention from Bilbo's strange behavior. "He's back."

"It matters," Thorin began. "I want to know. Why did you come back?"

Bilbo took a few long breaths, just watching Thorin, before speaking. "Look, I know you doubt me. I-I know you always have. And you're right, I often think of Bag End. I miss my books," He explained, as if it was the simplest thing in the world. "And my armchair, and my garden. You see, that's where _I_ belong. That's home." Kili felt Gwen's hand brush near his, and reached out, still transfixed on the hobbit's speech, to tangle his fingers into hers, Almost to assure himself that she was really there. That they all were really there. "And that's why I came back. Because...You don't have one. A home. It was taken from you. But I will help you take it back if I can."

It was one of the rare moments Kili had witnessed when Thorin was stunned speechless. Rightfully so. A rush of fondness towards the slightly awkward, simple hobbit filled his heart. He really was an attribute to their quest. And a brilliant one. Gwen's fingers squeezed his a bit, and he returned that pressure.

Suddenly, he found himself gripping her hand much harder as a sound filtered into his ears. The howling of wargs. Bloodthirsty wargs.

"Out of the frying pan," Thorin hissed, his muscles tensing.

"And into the fire," Gandalf concluded. "Run. Run!"

* * *

 _ **Well. That was fun. Right, guys?**_

 _ **I was completely blown away by the response to the last chapter. Seriously. I couldn't stop smiling for an hour. Eight reviews for one chapter? Crazy. Buuut, that said, how about we try to match that for this chapter? You know you want to. Just type a few words in that review box. Thanks! Next update will be on Friday. Thanks again for the support! Makes it all worth it.**_

 _ **Next Chapter: A Sight of Home**_


	7. A Sight of Home

_**All I own is my OC. But I think you guys know this by now. Everything else is Tolkien's and Peter Jackson's.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER SEVEN**

A SIGHT OF HOME

Every muscle in Kili's body protested as the charge down the mountainside began. It felt almost as if he was running through water, his every move infuriatingly slow as the vicious howls of the wargs grew closer. He had narrowly missed tripping over a tree root-was it getting _darker_ out?-when the pounding of heavy paws against the ground came into earshot. He gripped the hilt of his sword, preparing himself for the inevitable attack.

Hearing the sound of snarling, he turned to see that a few wargs had bounded into their midst. Before he could run up to help his companions, though, the beasts had already been cut down. As he turned to continue running, he found that now, they had another problem entirely to deal with. They had fled onto a rocky crag, jutting out of the mountainside. Kili slowed to a halt, panting, as he inspected the situation. The shard of rock was practically free floating, and a jump from any of the sides would quite likely end in death, or fatal injury. Neither of which, the company could afford. Their only escape would be back up the mountain, where yet more beasts could be seen, their gray pelts flickering in the half-light of the cloud covered sun.

"Up into the trees!" Gandalf called. "All of you! Come on, climb!"

Kili hesitated. He couldn't imagine how getting themselves stuck up in the trees would really be of any help. Wouldn't that just be delaying the inevitable of them being devoured by these blood-thirsty monsters? However, Gandalf had suggested crazier things before, and that had never lead them astray... Seeing most of his companions had begun climbing as soon as they heard that command, Kili sprinted to the nearest tree, gripping onto one of the lower-hanging branches, and vaulting himself up. The limb holding his weight bounced slightly, but Kili shoved any hesitation aside, forcing his tired body to pull him up through the branches.

He was a good few yards up off the ground when he dared to look down. To his utter relief, he could see all of his companions perched in the trees. They would all be safe, at least a bit longer.

A flicker of movement caught his eye, and he squinted to see Bilbo, still on the ground, fighting to yank his sword out of the skull of one of the dead wargs. Kili struggled against the desire to scream at him to get to the trees. Was the hobbit an idiot? Or blind that he couldn't see the dozens of beasts streaking down the mountainside, hissing and snarling for _his_ blood? Kili gripped the trunk of the tree hard enough to embed a few splinters of wood in his palm, watching helplessly.

Finally, the blade popped free, and Bilbo looked around for a moment, seemingly baffled, before noticing the wargs, charging down the hill, straight towards him. He scrambled up into the tree Gwen and Fili had perched themselves in. The two already in the tree grabbed onto the collar of his jacket, and hoisted him up out of reach, just as a warg leapt up, its massive jaws snapping closed a fraction of an inch from the hobbit's toes.

There were dozens of beasts, then, flooding the ground between the trees, climbing over each other, desperate to get even a bit closer to their hiding prey. As one nearly nipped Kili's boot, he jerked out of the way, snapping a branch off of his tree, and chucking it down onto the head of the closest warg. This only seemed to outrage it further, as it began to practically foam at the mouth, clawing at the trunk of the tree.

This all suddenly stopped, the beasts going perfectly silent as another figure crested a rock outcrop. It was a massive warg, it fur a muddied shade of white, its yellow eyes glinting in the gray light. Riding the beast was an even worse creature. It seemed to be an extremely overgrown orc, all heavyset muscle. Over this muscle was stretched a layer of pallid, near transparent skin, covered with scars, nicks, tattoos, and bruises. It had tiny, watery blue eyes set far apart in its deeply scarred face. In one hand, it held a heavy looking mace, its other hand had been cut off to a blunt stump, and a nasty looking pronged weapon was embedded in its huge forearm. It scanned over the tree-bound Dwarves, before leaning down to speak in a low tone. Kili only heard rough, glottal noises and hissing. Certainly not a language he understood. He was glad. He didn't want to hear what this overgrown blight had to say.

More orcs, astride wargs came up behind him, much smaller in stature, but just as disgusting. The large orc leaned back in his saddle, seeming to be addressing the dwarves, although Kili was still unable to understand. He pointed with his mace at Thorin, spitting something to his companions, before roaring a few words out, swinging his disfigured weapon in a circle around his head.

At this command, the wargs and orcs leapt into action. They streaked forward, lunging at the trees the dwarves were in. Kili felt the trunk of his tree begin to tremble and sway, and spared a glance over, to see Bilbo clambering higher up his tree, Fili and Gwen staring down helplessly at the wargs attacking them.

Just when Kili's tree gave a particularly savage shudder, an all too familiar ear-piercing scream rose above the shouts of the other dwarves. He looked up to see that Gwen's tree had been uprooted, and was tilting over, falling into the next tree full of dwarves. Kili was forced to tear his gaze away, as the roots of his own trunk ripped out of the ground, and he too was falling towards another tree full of his companions. He followed the momentum of the falling tree, leaping, and catching a branch of the next. His relief, however, was only momentary, as it seemed the new tree he'd found himself on had also been torn from the ground. He had to leap onto the next one along, and the next, before he reached the last tree still standing on the very edge cliff.

Once his footing felt stable enough, Kili scanned his surroundings. It seemed all of his companions had been forced to this same tree. The wargs on the ground were going mad, trying to reach them, climbing over each other just to get a bit closer. Suddenly, Kili smelled burning above him, and looked up to see that Gandalf had plucked one of the large pinecones that were hanging from the branches. He was running it carefully over the end of his staff, and soon enough, the pinecone burst into flames. Once it was lit, he lobbed it down at the wargs, which flinched back from the trail of flames it dragged across the ground. "Fili!" The wizard called, dropping another flaming pinecone down to the blonde dwarf.

He caught it, and Bilbo and Gwen reached over, lighting their own pinecones with it. Before it truly flamed up, Gwen held hers down to Kili. He glanced about for a moment, till he saw a fairly large pinecone, dangling a foot or two to his left. With a good yank, it was free and he held it above Gwen's, giving it a bit of a blow to encourage the heat to grow. Once there were a few embers glowing orange in it, Gwen tossed hers, and Kili watched, a bit amused, as it fell a few feet short of the wall of fire that had formed. Kili blew the fire a bit more to life in his, then gave it a good throw, rather satisfied as it hit a warg right in the nose, sending it screeching and writhing back in pain. "See," he said up to Gwen. "That's how it's done."

She gave him a kick in the back, not hard enough to knock him out of the tree, but hard enough to sting a bit, before dropping another flaming projectile to him. "Shut up and throw this."

His next shot wasn't quite as good, due mostly to the fact that the pinecone was already up in flames when it hit his fingers, but their efforts seemed to be succeeding, as the giant orc let out an outraged roar. Many of his 'warriors' were fleeing the scene, whimpering, and rather on fire. Kili found himself grinning, the sound of his comrades cheers filling his ears. Perhaps they would make it out of this after all.

Kili was about to lean up to say something to Gwen, but was interrupted by the tree suddenly shifting underneath him. There was the awful sound of roots tearing out of the ground, and they were falling off the cliff. The tree was stopped in a near horizontal position, and Kili quickly found himself hugging tightly to a branch, his feet dangling over the empty space. It was then that he decided he was quite done with heights, at least for a while.

He was trying to hoist himself a bit higher, to gain some sort of foothold, when he saw Thorin stand on the log, his sword drawn. The firelight illuminated his silhouette as he walked with slow, purposeful steps towards the massive orc, his sword drawn.

What in Mahal's name was he doing? He was going to get himself killed! Kili's efforts redoubled, and he strained to get a better angle to prop himself up.

Thorin broke into a charge, raising his sword and shield. The beast seemed almost gleeful, hoisting its own weapons and roaring out a battle cry as its warg leapt from its perch, plowing right through Thorin. The dwarf stumbled back onto the ground. Kili watched, horrified but helpless as the orc circled around on its warg, barely giving Thorin time to stand up, before rushing forward, clipping the dwarf under the chin with his large mace. Thorin collapsed.

The white warg bent down, crunching Thorin in between its massive jaws. Kili's breath choked in his throat. No. He couldn't be watching his uncle die. Not here, miles from their goal. He experienced momentary relief as Thorin reached up valiantly with his sword, slashing it across the warg's nose. It seemed the dwarf king was still alive and kicking. However, upon being struck, the white warg retaliated by tossing him a few yards away, like a giant child's toy. Although Kili couldn't hear, he could only imagine the sound Thorin's body made when it hit the stone like a deadweight.

Thorin had fallen to the ground. And it didn't seem like he was getting up. A thousand memories flashed through Kili's head, of his uncle falling. But each of those times, he had gotten back up. And now he wasn't. Mahal, why wasn't he getting up!?

He wanted to scream, to beg his uncle to get up and fight a little longer. Just a little longer, and they'd all be safe and happy and together again. This couldn't be the end.

He hardly could believe what he was seeing, as an orc dismounted, and approached the prone form of his uncle, drawing a long, jagged blade. Kili froze as it was raised-then found his breath returning in a gasp, as a small form tackled the orc down. Durin's beard, was that _Bilbo?_ He watched with wide eyes as the little hobbit stabbed the orc through the throat a few times, before staggering to his feet.

Kili wasted no more time. Using strength he didn't know he had left, he dragged himself upwards, onto the trunk of the tree, lurching up to his feet. He let out a roar as he sprinted towards the line of wargs, hacking at the face of the nearest one with his sword. Soon, he was cutting down its rider too, relishing in the astonished horror on its face. There were few feelings better than bringing death to those who deserved it so much as these creatures.

He fought madly, although his exhausted muscles ached and cramped with pain, and his breath burned in his lungs. Sweat dripped from his brow, almost blinding him while smoke choked up the air, and Kili's head was beginning to feel a bit blurry. He found himself hesitating as three wargs approached. He could take them. He had to be able to. It was just a matter of a bit of planning...his plan was interrupted by the sound of a shriek overhead, and a gust of hot wind. He peered up through the billow of smoke rising from the mountainside to see the shape of what looked to be a giant bird, silhouetted against the faintly lit clouds. He wasn't allowed another second of consideration, before it swept down, plucking up two of Kili's opponents from the ground and carrying them a bit of a ways, before loosening its grip on them, letting the creatures slip from its talons, into the open space below.

Reacting more on instinct than thought, Kili rushed forward, slicing open the throat of the remaining warg. It stumbled back from him, gurgling black-stained foam at the mouth, giving Kili the opening to stab right through the belly of its rider. Another shadow swooped by overhead, and there was a loud crackling sound, above the roar of flames. A gust of hot air rushed by him, as a large tree toppled to the ground, crushing two riderless wargs under its weight.

There had to be at least a dozen of these giant birds, circling above, putting their enemies to death. Bloody useful, that. Kili's eye caught one of them, sweeping down, and gathering up Thorin gently in its talons, before soaring off. He was speechless. Had his uncle just got stolen by a bird? Had that really just happened?

The giant orc let out a roar of outrage as its prey was carried off into the darkness. Kili was only worried. It seemed the birds had been helping them, but what on earth could they want with Thorin? And where were they taking him? He yelped in astonishment as quite suddenly, large talons surrounded him, and the ground was swept from under his feet. His stomach dropped as the mountainside fell away. Oh, yes. It was most definitely time to be done with heights. The darkness of the sky soon swallowed him up, and all he could see was faintly lit clouds behind the shadow the bird cut into the sky. The wind felt lovely, cooling the sweat from his forehead, but he still found himself terrified in the rather loose grip of the bird.

His heart jolted, bile rising in his throat as the talons shifted under him, until he was slipping from its grip. _Well,_ he mused as the air rushed by him, his pulse thudding a thousand times per minute. _At least it'll be a quick death. Would've liked to say goodbye to some people though...Mum, Gimli, Fili, maybe even Gwen..._

That trail of thought ended as he hit something solid, warm, and feathery. He soon realized he had been dropped onto the back of another bird. He glanced around in shock, only to be more astonished by the sight of his brother, perched on the back of the bird beside him. "Fili?"

His brother paid him no mind, fixated on one of the birds up ahead. "Thorin!"

Kili's heart dropped. Thorin, limp, in the claws of a bird. Dead? Maybe.

He sighed heavily, closing his eyes, and forcing that panic away. There was no need. "Brother."

Fili turned to look back at him, and Kili's heart broke a bit at the sight of raw fear in his brother's eyes. 'There's nothing we can do now," Kili said, struggling to keep his tone steady. "Just...take a deep breath. Thorin's stronger than this."

He hoped that his own doubt didn't show through. Fili paused, watching him for a bit, before nodding, then turning his attention back to watching Thorin hang from the bird's talons. Kili clenched his fingers in the bird's smooth feathers, trying to follow his own advice. It was actually rather lovely, soaring through the air. The wind was cool and fresh, washing over his sweaty skin, running soft fingers through the tangled locks of his hair. They had broken free from the oppressive cloud cover from before, and it seemed as if the whole world was splayed out for him to see, basked in the golden glow of the sun. Dark, snow dusted mountaintops; the downy white caps of clouds; deep green ravines, thriving with growth; the silver tendrils of waterfalls, snaking down jagged cliff sides...it really was a spectacular view.

Soon, they neared a large tower of stone, flat at the top, with a small staircase winding up the side. The birds circled around it for a bit, until the one carrying Thorin gently set him down onto the stone, before soaring away. Gandalf was dropped next, and he quickly rushed to Thorin's side. That worry came back, full force. _Please, don't let him be dead_ , Kili nearly prayed.

Fili and Kili were at last set down, in time to see Gandalf sit back. Kili edged closer, and nearly wilted with relief to see Thorin awake, and looking about.

"It's alright," Gandalf said, almost soothingly. "Bilbo is here."

Kili felt a presence at his side, and looked to see that Gwen had been set down as well. A sudden rush of feeling filling up his heart, Kili reached over for her hand, as he had before the warg attack, this time gripping it firmly, keeping their fingers intertwined. There was something immensely comforting in the way his hands swamped hers. In the feeling of her tiny, calloused thumb running softly over his knuckles. And Mahal, was he in need of comfort.

Thorin began to drag himself to his feet, and Kili almost dropped Gwen's hand to help him, but Dwalin and Fili went up to help him instead. "You," Thorin spat, shaking off the other dwarves.

Kili's good mood fell a bit, and he found himself gripping Gwen a bit tighter. The last thing the hobbit deserved was another tongue lashing. He had saved Thorin's life! Bilbo's face showed disappointment too, as the dwarves cleared away, letting Thorin and Bilbo have this out.

"What were you doing?" Thorin growled. "You nearly got yourself killed."

Bilbo couldn't find a response, shifting nervously, looking to the others for help. No help was offered.

"Did I not say that you would be a burden?" Thorin hissed, coming closer to the flighty hobbit. 'That you would not survive in the wild? And that you had no place amongst us?"

Thorin paused, and they all waited with held breath to see what this would turn into. Surely, he wasn't going to punish the hobbit? Not after all they'd been through.

"I have never been so wrong in all my life." With that, the dwarf king surged forward, wrapping Bilbo in a solid embrace, as if he was a long lost brother.

Kili was stunned for a moment. Thorin...hugging Bilbo. That was...remarkably odd. But other than that, it was very heart lifting to see Thorin happy. Or at least appreciative.

Gwen gave his hand a bit of a squeeze, and he looked to see her watching the scene, head tilted a bit, a distinctly longing look in her eyes despite the half-smile on her lips. Kili was forced to push that to the back of his mind when Thorin continued.

"I am sorry I doubted you."

"No, no I would have doubted me too," Bilbo insisted. "I'm not a hero. Or a warrior, or even a burglar," he added, with a nod to Gandalf.

There was a soft rushing sound, and Kili looked out to see it was the eagles, circling them one last time, before sweeping off to the horizon.

"Is that...what I think it is?" Bilbo asked in a small voice.

Kili turned to see what he spoke of. A chill went up his back as he near dragged Gwen up the stone. When it came into view, he didn't care that Gwen was squeezing his hand tightly enough to cut off circulation, because he was holding her just as tightly.

There, on the horizon, was his home.

"Erebor," Gandalf announced. "The Lonely Mountain. The last of the Great Dwarf Kingdoms of Middle Earth."

"Our home," Thorin breathed.

Kili's breath caught in his throat. He had lived nearly every day of his life in the Blue Mountains. He had always thought of his little house, with his mother, his brother, his uncle, and frequently their much extended family as his home. But as he stared at that solitary peak, rising above the plains, wrapped in wisps of clouds, he knew, without a doubt in the world, that this mountain was his real home. It was where he was meant to live out the rest of his days, and eventually be buried, in the halls of his fathers and forefathers. He was finally coming home.

"A raven!" Oin called out. "The birds are returning to the mountain!"

"That my dear Oin," Gandalf corrected. "Is a thrush."

"We'll take it as a sign," Thorin said. "A good omen."

"You're right," Bilbo mused. "I do believe the worst is behind us."

The hobbit's words hung in the air for a few minutes, before murmurs broke out across the flat stone. "Gwen?" Fili suddenly asked. "Weren't you dead?'

Her hand slipped out of Kili's as all eyes turned to her, for a response. Kili too, sought an answer.

She shrugged. "Obviously, I wasn't, or else I should quite hope that I'd also be dead right now."

There was a long silence, as they all thought on this.

"So..." Bofur began, before he hesitated a bit. "You were playing dead?"

She gave him an affirmative nod.

Many of the dwarves were fine with this answer, and began talking amongst themselves, while Kili found himself frowning. He had been so...despaired by the thought of her dead, her corpse desecrated by a hoard of goblins, and he had been so _certain_ that she really was gone. Goosebumps rose over his skin as he recalled the way her limbs had hung, at the most awkward, unnatural angles, thick drops of blood..."You were bleeding."

When he said this, confusion passed over Gwen's features.

Kili hurried to explain. "When you were faking dead, you were dripping blood. Are you alright?"

She chuckled, but Kili noticed her hand shift to her side. "Doing better than you, at least, Master Dwarf. Then again, I'm always doing better than you."

Kili searched her face carefully for a moment, looking for any sign she might be lying about being alright. Finally, he resigned himself to just asking, "How? You...you looked dead."

She hesitated, but eventually gave him a half smile and a slight shrug. "When you're alone, you learn the best ways to fend for yourself. Instinct kicked in, back there, I suppose, and I reacted as if I were just trying not to get killed myself."

Kili nodded slowly, though his thoughts were still a mess. Reacted as if she were alone...But she wasn't alone, was she?

* * *

 _ **Very short chapter. Sorry. There just wasn't a lot of content, and the chapter before and after it are just too long to add it to one of them. I hope you enjoyed it, though. Please leave a review! Hearing what you guys think of this story is one of my favorite things in the world. Thanks so very, very much for all of the reviews/faves/follows on the last chapter. See you guys Tuesday, for a chapter that I myself am very fond of. I think you guys will be too. Have a wonderful day!**_

 _ **Next chapter: A Conflict of Interests**_


	8. A Conflict of Interests

_**I still own nothing. All rights to Tolkien and Peter Jackson.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER EIGHT**

A CONFLICT OF INTERESTS

They soon learned that the pillar of stone they had been quite literally dropped off on was called the Carrock. They had stayed up on the Carrock for twenty minutes, resting aching feet, gulping water from waterskins, and binding up the worst wounds. After their discussion, Kili had gone to a bit of an effort to avoid Gwen. It wasn't that he was angry at her...alright, maybe he was a bit angry at her. But it was only for the fact that the mere sight of her brought horrific images flashing through his mind. Not just the things he had actually seen in the goblin caves, but even more terrible things. Her being pinned down as the goblins swarmed over her, yanking out her hair strand by strand, or tearing the fingernails right off of her slender hands, the goblin king's laughter drowning out the pitch of her screaming...he shivered. Enough of those thoughts. They had all made it out of that place alive and fairly well.

Other than his convoluted thoughts, the Carrock was perfect. An insistent breeze moved over them, cooling their hot skin, while the golden wash of the sun kept them from getting too cold. Kili had to admit he was a bit sad as they began their way down the rock face, even though his mouth was parched, and he could feel the layer of sweat, blood, and dirt that had built up on his skin. The staircase that descended the Carrock was fairly weathered down with age, and had crumbled into a slope of dust and gravel in certain areas, but they were able to get about halfway down before they experienced any problems.

The problem came in the form of a misstep from Gwen, who had been marching along beside Bofur, right in front of Kili. He had been staring absently at her boots, as they crunched down the path, and so saw immediately when her right foot stepped a tad too far, landing on a ledge of rock that instantly crumbled under her weight. Kili lunged forward and had her in a firm grasp around the upper arm before she could even let out a yelp. With a good yank, she was back onto the staircase, her breath coming in short gasps, eyes wide.

"Nice catch, brother," Fili said from behind him.

Kili mustered a half smile, but it quickly faded as he saw the edge Gwen almost tumbled off. It was a good six yard fall, something that could have quite possibly killed the girl if she'd landed the wrong way. "You nearly fell."

She seemed to have regained her composure as she lifted a brow. "I commend your observational skills."

He stared hard at her for a moment. "You should watch your step."

"That's what I have you for, it seems."

"Aye, and you'd best keep it moving or I'll have _both_ of you off that cliff," Dwalin called out, behind them.

Kili dropped the arm he was still holding, as if scalded. Right. He was meant to be annoyed. And he was. She should've been more careful.

It was perhaps twenty minutes later, when they finally reached the bottom of the Carrock. After a bit of discussion, it was decided that they had enough time to stay at the base of the rock the rest of the day, to bathe in the river and tend to their wounds. Although it was true that the orc, which Kili had discovered a bit earlier was the actually the Pale Orc from the old tales, might still be after them, they had done significant damage to its forces, and they had been carried far enough that they would likely be able to rest safely that night. Gwen had excused herself to the other side of the Carrock, while the dwarves bathed, scraping layers of grime off of their skin. Kili swore they turned the water that floated downriver from them nearly black, but Mahal, it felt nice to be clean again. There had to have been at least a pound of dirt on his skin alone.

Then came the time to treat wounds. Oin had already cleaned and bound the worst, sustained mostly by Thorin and Dwalin. Kili managed to come out of the previous few hours' conflicts with only a few scrapes, nicks, and bruises. Once his wounds had been checked over, Oin shoved a small case into Kili's hands. "Take this to the lass, will you? I saw her bleeding a bit."

Kili nodded, though he was a tad bit annoyed. This didn't fit very well into his plan of ignoring Gwen. However, it made sense that Oin would ask him to bring the kit to her...With a sigh, he resigned himself, starting into the more forested area around the opposite side of the Carrock. As the trees began to thicken, he called out for her. "Gwen? You there?"

There was no response. Despite his slight annoyance at the girl, worry began to bubble in his gut. She wasn't far enough that the company wouldn't have heard her screaming, but what if she didn't have the time to scream? "Gwen! Where've you gone?"

"Kili?"

He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding at the sound of her voice. "Aye, it's me."

"I'm by the river," she replied.

Kili followed the direction of her voice and the sound of running water a few yards through the underbrush, finding himself smiling upon finding her. She was seated on a flat stone, a few feet from the placid, flowing river. The blood and grime had been washed from her skin, leaving it pale and gleaming slightly in the dappled sunlight. Her boots and overcoats had been set aside, on the next rock over, and Kili found himself struggling not to stare at her slender, pale feet, half buried in the gritty sand of the riverbank.

"You're looking better than before," Gwen commented as she rung out her sopping wet mess of hair.

For a moment, Kili was obscenely glad he hadn't come over ten minutes earlier. It seemed she had just gotten finished bathing. "Was that actually something kind you just said to me?"

He immediately bit his tongue. He was supposed to be annoyed. People who were annoyed didn't banter with those they were supposed to be annoyed with.

She merely rolled her eyes in response. "Did you want something, or did you just come to be insulted by me?"

Suddenly remembering his purpose, Kili stepped a bit closer, holding out the small case. "Oin said he saw you injured, and wanted to get this to you so you could patch yourself up."

"How nice."

"Are you?" Kili asked, as he came to crouch in the sand beside her.

When she raised a brow, Kili further explained his question. "Injured, I mean. I thought I saw you grabbing at your side earlier."

She shrugged, and Kili noticed her hand almost stray to her side, before she busied it, combing through the tangles of her hair. "A bit."

"Will you be able to reach all of them?"

"Well enough," was her only response.

Kili frowned. Well enough? That wasn't exactly the resounding "yes" he'd hoped for. "Do you need help?"

She froze, before saying slowly, "It depends on whether or not you'd be willing to help me."

"Can't I just go fetch Oin?" Kili sighed, standing. "He's the actual healer."

"I know that much," she huffed. "But..." she seemed to hesitate, before simply deadpanning, "He'd not be comfortable treating my injury, considering where it is."

Kili's brow shot up. "And where, exactly, is this injury?"

A myriad of not entirely appropriate...locations filled his mind.

"Just my back," she explained with a roll of her eyes. "I'd ignore it, but it'll only fester if I leave it."

Kili sighed. This directly combated his plan of avoidance. He could go fetch his brother to do it instead, but that would only cause more of a fuss. "Let me see it."

She gave him a faint smile, before turning, lifting the light fabric of her shirt about halfway up her back. Kili immediately felt an intense blush rising on his cheeks, and found himself obscenely glad that she had turned away. He was only able to see the narrow taper of her waist, and the smooth curve out to her hips, but...It was a good thing he hadn't made her go back to be treated by Oin. It wouldn't do her any good to show that much skin around the others. No good at all.

However, he was soon distracted from the sight of her exposed skin by the wound set into it. It appeared to be more of a scrape than a cut, and was about the side of his hand. Around the edge of the wound, her skin had been scraped and rubbed, turned an angry pink color, but along the center, it seemed rather deep, a dark scarlet, almost black color, and oozing blood. "Mahal, Gwen," he breathed as he kneeled to get a better look. "What happened?"

"My shirt rode up as we were falling down to the goblins. It was just a sharp rock and bad timing, really. Didn't hurt too bad in the moment but it-" She was cut off in a gasp as Kili pressed a bit of cotton, soaked with an alcohol cleaning tincture against the edge of the wound. " _Valar,_ that hurts."

"You daft lass, you should have told us earlier," Kili snapped, ignoring the way she flinched every time the medicine touched her skin.

"We were actually a bit busy at that moment, in case you've forgotten."

 _You were busy, more like,_ Kili thought bitterly. _Making us think you'd died._

Silence fell between them as he continued to work. He had to go through three wads of cotton and half a bottle of the tincture before her wound could even be considered passably clean. Once he was satisfied enough, he took a roll of bandages, being sure to wrap them firmly about her a few times. "You ought to change these out in an hour or two."

She lowered her shirt back down gingerly, careful not to disrupt the new bandages. "Of course. Kili?"

He looked up from burying the blood-soaked bits of fabric in the sand.

"You're not half bad, I suppose."

He fought back a smile, rolling his eyes. Even if she was acting fairly normal now, she had frightened him half to death, and he was definitely still meant to be annoyed at her. "Hurt anywhere else?"

"That was it."

Before Kili could stand to leave, she spoke again. "But...do you think you could leave that case?"

Kili stopped in his tracks. "Why?"

"It's nothing."

"If it's nothing, why do you need the case?" he challenged.

"Because I'd like to wear it as a hat." He gave her a look, and she shifted her gaze away from him, to the ground, crossing her arms over her chest. "Just leave it...please."

Kili inspected her for a few moments, before speaking. "Gwen, tell me."

"There isn't anything to tell you," she huffed.

"Now's not the time to play tough," he said in a warning tone. "Now tell me where else you're hurt, or I'll search you over myself, whether you want it or not." Mahal, he worded that wrong. Yes, he would search her, but...alright, there wasn't really a way to phrase that without it being inappropriate.

She stared up at him, dark eyes wrought with steel, jaw set in annoyance. Kili matched this, unwilling to let her carry on almost dying due to his negligence. "Stubborn dwarven brat," she huffed. "My head, if you're really so bothered. And I bashed my knee in a bit."

Satisfied with her surrender, he knelt in front of her, taking the kit along with him. "Which knee?"

"I can take care of a bruised knee myself-"

"Gwen," he shot up at her, real annoyance bubbling up in him. "For once, just go along with it, would you?"

She seemed to bite her tongue then, silently rolling up her trousers to expose her left knee. This injury wasn't nearly as bad as the last, but a thumb sized bit of her skin had been completely peeled off, and her whole kneecap was a dark-purplish bruised color, patches of it turned a sickening yellow shade. Kili immediately went to work cleaning blood and dirt from the open part of the wound, ignoring her eyes boring into the back of his head. Perhaps he was being a bit sharp to her, but as far as he was concerned, she deserved it. He bandaged a patch of cotton, soaked in a numbing agent around her whole knee, then pulled the leg of her trousers back down over it. That finished, he looked up to her face. "There. That's better, aye?"

She only nodded in response, seeming rather set on ignoring him as much as possible.

Now _that_ ticked him off a bit. He had done nothing but help her since this whole interaction started. What right did she have to be irritated at him? He ground his teeth for a moment, before speaking. "You said your head was hurt as well?"

Gwen nodded again, and Kili stood. "Where?"

She lifted a hand to pull her hair back from her forehead, revealing a nasty looking gash across her hairline. Kili hissed out a breath. "Gwen, this needed stitches."

"Too late now," she informed him, tone a bit sullen.

Kili gritted his teeth, preparing another bit of cotton. This wouldn't be a problem if she'd just said up on the Carrock, "Oi, I've got a bit of a hole in my skull, if anyone would like to help me out." But of course, she was too tough for that. As soon as he touched the wound with the cloth, Gwen's hand sprung up to grip his wrist, her fingernails biting into his skin. "That _hurts."_

"I can imagine it would," Kili told her, tugging his hand free, to continue dabbing at the edge of the cut.

"Would you just stop that for half a moment?" she snapped, yanking his hand back from her injury.

Kili sighed heavily, trying not to lash out at her. Durin's beard, this girl was almost as stubborn as a dwarf. "I need to clean it out or-"

"No," she cut him off, staring defiantly up into his eyes. "You need to tell me who told you to suddenly start caring about me so much."

Kili tried to pull his arm out of Gwen's grip, but she refused to let go. "You're talking nonsense."

"No, I'm not. Why won't you let me be to die if that's what I wish?"

"Why didn't you tell us that you were hurt?" Kili shot back.

"There were more important things than-"

"Stop," he cut her off, not able to listen to the conclusion of that sentence. "When are you going to learn that you're not alone anymore, Gwen? When are you going to figure it out that, yes, you eat with the rest of us when we're having lunch? That we're not going to let you wander the countryside, alone and defenseless? Or that you have to tell us when you're hurt? Or that it's not bloody _alright_ to pretend to be dead when the rest of the company is there, helpless, wondering where we lost track of you and let you die on our watch? When are you going to _learn_?!"

She froze, staring up at him, eyes wide, before sighing out a deep breath, gaze fixed on her hands. When she spoke, her voice was small, hardly audible over the sound of the river. "Thing is Kili, I am still alone. I'm not part of the company, and I honestly doubt I ever will be."

"Not until you start trusting us," he said simply, any anger leaving him.

"It's..." her gaze flicked up to his for a moment, but she quickly focused it back to her hands, clenched in the leather of her breeches. "It's just not that easy, aye?"

"Not aye," he insisted. "You just have to let go of that idea that all you've got is yourself. Because now, you've got us."

"Do I?" she asked, softly. "We're out of the Misty Mountains. That's as far as I was to travel with you."

Kili gritted his teeth. That was right. But still... "That's not important. What's important right now is that you need to know we're here. And that you can trust us. And that you should never, _never_ pull that stunt from the goblin caves again."

"I thought it was pretty clever," she mumbled into her lap.

"I didn't," Kili replied, shaking his head. "I thought it was bloody _awful."_

She was silent, so he came a bit closer. "Can you promise, Gwen? Can you promise you'll trust us?"

There was a long pause. "...Kili, you...you don't understand. I want to trust you. But...but..."

"Just try," he offered softly, not wanting her to struggle any longer. "That's all I ask."

She nodded, raising a hand up to rub at her eyes.

"Say it?"

"Say what?" she asked.

"Say you'll try," he insisted.

"I nodded, isn't that enough?"

Kili couldn't see her face, as it was still tipped down, staring at her lap. He frowned. Was it really that much of a struggle? "I want to hear you say it. Just once. Your voice makes anything sound better."

She shook with laughter, and she glanced up at him. Kili was a bit alarmed to see her dark eyes a bit watery. Was she _crying?_ However, just as soon, she put her head back down, dragging a sleeve across her eyes. "Fine. You bloody stupid bastard of a dwarfling. I'll try and trust you."

He could hear that her voice had become thick with tears by the end of that. As much as he loved to hear her suffer, a wave of pity and affection flooded his heart, and he stepped forward, wrapping her up in his arms. Since she was sitting, he was much taller than her, able to rest his chin atop her head. It was...nice. Really nice. "Don't cry."

"M'not crying," she sniffled, burying her face into the crook of his neck.

"You sound like Fili at Gloin's wedding. Started bawling halfway through the ceremony. Blamed it on allergies," Kili explained in a low voice, as she trembled a bit in his arms, her breath shuddering. He ran a slow hand down her back, in an effort to soothe her quiet sobs, turning his head so her damp hair tickled a bit less at his neck. He was definitely glad they'd gotten the chance to bathe before having this little moment between them. Gwen was lovely and all, but no one could smell too particularly pleasant after the lengthy day they had endured. Now, she smelled of soap, and a bit of river water, though there was an underlying, rather familiar note to her smell, that trickled quite pleasantly into his senses.

"You're an idiot," was all she could manage, though her insult lacked its usual sting and wit, as she cried into him.

"So are you, love," he murmured into her hair, finding himself smiling.

In another moment, she had pulled out of his arms, shaking the tears from her eyes, drawing in slow, calming breaths. Kili's hand slid from where it had been resting on her shoulder blade, down her arm, to her hand, where he caught her fingertips in his. "Better?"

Instead of giving a proper answer, she shot him a glare. It was a bit watery, but certainly didn't lack any fire. "Don't you go telling any of the others about this."

"Of course not," he told her, quite seriously, before hedging away. "Except _maybe_ Fili..."

"You wouldn't _dare,"_ she breathed, pulling her hand from his. "That wouldn't exactly help me to learn to trust you any more."

Kili sighed. "Fine, you got me there." He winced as his eyes caught on the nasty gash across her hairline. "Now let's get you patched up before any more of your brains fall out."

* * *

They'd had fish that night. Although Kili had never been particularly fond of fish (much more preferable to a rabbit, or maybe even some venison) he had to admit that this was good. It had been freshly caught only hours before they ate it, and was cooked crackling over the fire. It was a very welcome change from the stew they'd been having every night, nothing more than dried meat, softened slightly in seasoned water. It had been a rather jolly meal, as they were generally glad to have made it out of the goblin caves and the orc attack all in one piece.

Gwen had been gone most of the meal, caught up in an intense discussion with Gandalf, out of earshot from the camp. When the fire was growing low and many of them were setting out their bedrolls to prepare for a good night's rest, Gandalf called over Thorin to join in the discussion. Kili tried not to watch, focusing instead, on Bilbo's sleepy explanation of the best places in the Shire to buy pipeweeed. Apparently, West Farthing's Old Toby was practically legendary, but not necessarily cost efficient, especially if one was just learning how to make smoke-rings. Despite this gripping lecture, Kili often found his attention wandering back over to the dwarf, wizard, and girl. What on earth were they talking about?

He was nearly drifting off to sleep, wrapped up tightly in his cloak and bedroll, when Gwen finally came back, sitting down in the empty space beside him. She paid no attention to him, probably thinking he was asleep, and hugged her knees to her chest for a moment, looking up at the star-strewn sky through the light tree cover. Kili heard her murmur a few indiscernible phrases, before he spoke aloud, "Gwen?"

She looked down at him, a bit surprised and her dark eyes were lit up a sweet brown color by the dying embers of the fire. "Yes, Master Dwarf?"

"What's that about?" he asked, sleep trying to tug at his eyelids.

"It was nothing," she breathed.

Kili opened his mouth to protest, but she stilled him with a touch to the shoulder. "Rest. You've fought well, Master Dwarf."

"You should sleep too," he slurred, her touch warm, even through his blanket. It was nice.

"I will. _Dina, Mellon."_

Kili frowned. "What?"

She smiled softly, moving the hand at his shoulder to stroke it soothingly. "Nothing. Good night."

Satisfied, he finally let his eyelids fall closed. As sleep crept up, dark and warm on him, he recalled something in passing, something about Gwen, and ears...Sleep took him only a moment after this thought occurred.

* * *

 _ **Aww. Well, wasn't that cute. Here, we have ventured into the limbo space between An Unexpected Journey and Desolation of Smaug. I expanded on it quite a bit, because there was stuff that I needed to happen, that didn't have anywhere else that it could go. Hope that's alright with all of you. Of course, thank you so much for reviews/faves/follows. Especially reviews. They are my absolute favorite. If you have even two minutes of time, please let me know a thing or two you liked about this chapter. Can we try for four reviews? I'll have the ninth chapter up by Friday, I hope to see (Well, not actually see, but you know) all of you there!**_

 _ **A quick note to my dear guest reviewer: Thank you so much for your enthusiasm for this story! As for Kili making a move...be prepared to be annoyed at him for a good while longer.**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Lessons in Acceptance**_


	9. Lessons in Acceptance

_**All rights to Peter Jackson and Tolkien. I own nothing but an-overactive imagination that produced an OC that I wrote into their world.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER NINE**

LESSONS IN ACCEPTANCE

It was terribly dark out, though Kili didn't particularly mind. It wasn't like he was trying to go anywhere. All he had to do was stay where he was, and make sure he kept an eye on...wait. Where were the ponies? He could have sworn he'd seen them, sleeping, just yards in front of him only a few minutes ago. But now, there was no sign. None at all.

"Master Dwarf?"

He breathed out a sigh of relief. There she was. "Good evening, Gwen."

She tilted her head to the side, frowning. "Aren't you coming?"

Kili tried to shake the cobwebs out of his thoughts as he stood. Gwen didn't need any help thinking he was an idiot. "Aye."

As he followed her, the trees grew more and more sparse. He sighed, upon getting clear of the forest cover, only a few yards away from the glassy, clear surface of the river. The light of the moon shone off of it, sending silvery-white flashes in every direction. "It's beautiful."

Silence was all that answered him. He frowned. Where had Gwen gone off to? He had followed her the whole way there. He turned to search the shadows between the trees, but a voice sounded behind him, as soon as he turned around. "Oh, Kili. Why couldn't you have just trusted me?"

Kili whipped around to see Gwen there. No relief stilled his pounding heart though. She was at the edge of the river, her dark eyes boring into him, betrayal clear on her face. "I tried," he began.

Kili's mouth dried up, any other words he might have tried to speak choking out in his throat, as she continued to stare at him. She held up both of her hands, palm up, tilting her face towards the sky, as rain began drizzling from the clouds. Only, as the drops hit her pale skin, they showed a sickly deep red color. "I trusted you, but it wasn't enough..." her voice breathed. "And now it's raining my blood."

Kili felt sick to the stomach. He wanted to look away, but found he couldn't. He was forced to watch as Gwen was, drop by drop, doused in her own blood. All of the sudden, the moonlight disappeared, plunging the rest of the world into shadow. Gwen was still perfectly visible, though, as she tilted her head back down to him. He would have screamed if there was air left in his lungs. Welling in her lovely, brown eyes were tears, dark red as the blood rain that dripped from her body. She stood, silent, and staring at him, as these morbid tears ran rivulets down her cheeks, dripping off her chin. "You said I wasn't alone. And I trusted you."

Any warmth faded from her gaze, as the depths of her eyes turned black with hatred, the tears of blood still welling up. "I suppose I am still alone."

* * *

Kili's eyes shot open. His heart was pounding at a sickening pace in his ribcage, and his skin felt burning hot, wrapped up in his blankets. He struggled free of his bedroll as fast as he could, as his breath shuddered, trying to return to its normal rhythm.

"Ah, you've woken."

Kili's head jerked up to see who'd spoken. The alarmed pace of his heart calmed a bit, as he saw it was only Fili, packing his things up a yard or two away. Kili nodded in his direction, taking the opportunity to look around their camp. It seemed to be a dismal day ahead, the early morning sky heavy and grey above them, an insistent chill in the air. Most of the company had already packed up, and the fire was extinguished, lying cold and dark. Kili sighed. It felt like he hadn't even slept. He shivered suddenly, as an image flashed through his head from his dream. He quickly shook it from his head. It was ridiculous. Just a bit of over suspicion on his part. Maybe it was a full moon. The lunar cycles always did seem to turn his dreams a bit dodgy.

He managed to get his armor and weapons put on, and all his bags packed so that he wasn't the last one ready to travel. He made his way to where the group was gathering, finding his way through the groggy dwarves to the fallen tree where Gwen was sitting with his brother. Kili nearly recoiled at the sight of her. She sent images of the previous night's horror show flickering through his head. He dug his nails hard into his palms, trying to calm himself back down. That dream Gwen was nothing like the one he had before him right now. This one was watching with half interest as Fili explained the origin of his hand crafted throwing-dagger set. Her eyes were soft and distracted, not filled to the brim with hatred and blood. The real Gwen acknowledged his presence with a nod and a faint quirk of a smile, no sign of accusing. Kili decided he liked the real Gwen much better.

"Kili," Fili called out, as soon as he saw his brother approaching. "Show Gwen one of your throwing daggers."

Not wanting to cause trouble with Fili, who always got a somewhat peculiar spark of excitement in his eyes when he discussed his weaponry, Kili pulled one of the small blades out of his belt, handing it hilt-first to Gwen. She took it, giving him a slightly exasperated look. Kili fought back a chuckle. It seemed Gwen was getting a bit sick of Fili's weapon tirade.

"You see the leather binding on the hilt, the way its wound?" Fili asked, carefully pointing to it on the knife in Gwen's open palm. "That's how they all usually are. But with _mine,_ if you look, I didn't use strap leather at all. I just used one piece, reducing the weight, as well as making it much easier to throw. Thorin called it _'ingenious'."_

Kili nearly snorted. Honestly, you'd think his brother was talking about his own children, as obsessed as he was with these little knives. Although, Kili had to admit, he'd been a bit jealous, back when Fili was making this set. Kili was hardly allowed around the forge, so while his brother was off making new strides in the throwing dagger world, Kili was stuck whittling little bits of sticks. He hated whittling.

"Do you use throwing daggers, Gwen?"

She let out a dry laugh. "We've all seen the sense of accuracy I have. Don't think we'd want me missing my target by a mile when I'm dealing with something sharp."

Kili winced. "It'd spell the death of us all."

Fili ignored his brother's comment. "You just haven't been taught properly."

Gwen's brow shot up. "Not sure if that's the case. I spent a good long time trying out long distance weapons: bows, throwing daggers, sling and stone, darts, you name it, I tried it. In the end, my...instructor decided it best I give up on throwing about pointy things in general."

Fili grinned, slipping away his knife, and giving her a hearty pat on the back. "Next time we have a break, I'd like to challenge that, dear Gwen. I think you've got it, somewhere."

She rolled her eyes. "If that's what you'd really like, Master Dwarf."

The company started out, and Gwen handed Kili back his dagger as she stood. She shouldered her pack, leaning closer so Fili wouldn't hear her words. "I think he's finally cracked."

Kili shrugged. "He likes to teach people. Especially if it shows off how good he is at that particular thing."

She shook her head. "Bloody dwarves. I'm going to accidentally spear someone through the head."

"Just warn us before hand," Kili said. "That way, we can evacuate the area within a two mile radius of you."

"I'd say you clear out three," she mused. "Just to be safe."

Kili nodded. There was no saying how far her lack of aim could send one of those knives. As he absently watched Thorin's back before them, he was suddenly reminded of a question. "Weren't you supposed to be gone by now, Gwen?" He immediately backtracked, realizing how harsh that sounded. "Not that I _want_ you gone, of course. I quite like having you around, actually."

She dismissed the end of that with a roll of her eyes, before turning serious. "That was our main topic of conversation, last night, actually. It's likely I'll be booted out as soon as it's deemed remotely safe enough for me to strike out on my own, but Gandalf's working on convincing Thorin to let me stay."

"Well," Kili began, smiling up at her. "I certainly hope he does decide for you to stay."

She watched him for a moment, before focusing her eyes back to the path under her boots. "I can only agree, Master Dwarf."

* * *

They'd managed to travel almost the entire day before they ran into any real sort of trouble. It had started raining lightly, only a faint mist, but Kili had jumped a bit as soon as he felt it hit his skin. His eyes had immediately gone to Gwen, but to his utter relief the rain beaded clear-not red on her cheeks. This faint drizzle had only managed to dampen their outer layers, but as they were forced to a stop, it seemed they'd be getting quite a bit more wet.

On a clear day, the small river in front of them wouldn't have been much of a bother to cross. But with a day's worth of rain coursing through it, it had churned to a murky brown color, and swept, fast and dangerous down the riverbanks. "Put anything you don't want getting wet into your pack," Thorin called out, above the sound of the river, as he dropped his pack to the ground.

Kili sighed. Seemed they'd be fording this stream. A glance down upstream and downstream showed that this was very likely the most narrow point of the river within a mile. But that water didn't look safe for anyone...there was no telling how deep it was in the middle, and many of the company would very likely be carried away. "I'll go across first," Gandalf announced.

"No," Gwen suddenly cut in, her overcoats already off, and on the ground next to her. "Let me go."

"I'm the taller-"

Gwen shook her head. "Not by much. We couldn't afford to lose you, Gandalf. It's better that I cross first."

"Ah, don't be ridiculous, lass," Gloin groaned, kneeling by his pack. "You've got nothing to ya. You'd be washed away."

There were murmurs of agreement, but Kili caught sight of Thorin watching Gwen carefully, his eyes like steel as he stood there silently.

"Not if we tie a rope about me," she explained. "Then I'll knot that to a tree on the other side, and We'll have a line, to help the rest of you over safely."

"Fili," Thorin spoke up. "You have rope, if I'm not mistaken."

Fili gaped. "Uncle, you can't be serious."

Thorin waved off their protests. "The girl is right. We can't risk the Wizard. This is the wisest plan of action."

Gwen nodded to him, a bit of satisfaction in her expression. Gandalf went over to speak to Gwen, while Kili shook his head, making his way through the grumbling dwarves to his uncle. "This is ridiculous."

"Excuse me?" Thorin said, tone tense as he raised his head to meet Kili's eyes.

"She'll be washed away before we can blink. You can't actually-"

"I will not have you telling me what I can and cannot do," Thorin growled. "If she says she can do it, we have no reason not to believe her."

"She's an idiot, then," Kili shot back, not willing to back down on this.

"If she's such an idiot, maybe she shouldn't be with the company at all," Thorin snapped. "Is that what you wish for?"

Kili gritted his teeth. He loved his uncle. He really did. But this sort of stubborn behavior didn't do anyone good. However, Kili held his tongue, shaking his head. "No, uncle."

Before he could retreat, Thorin stopped him. "Kili, I do this for the good of the company."

So Thorin really didn't think of Gwen as part of the company.

Kili nodded again, stiffly, before turning away. He would not forgive Thorin if anything happened to Gwen in this little escapade.

He found the girl sitting on a rock, half through undoing her boot. It seemed she'd gotten distracted, her eyes boring into the water rushing by her. He crouched in the sand next to her, without her even acknowledging his presence, she was so focused on the river. "Gwen?"

She started, her eyes flicking, wide, up to his. After a moment, she shook her head, going back down to work at her boots. Kili noticed her hands trembling. "Hello, Master Dwarf."

"You're shaking," he pointed out.

She paused, lifting a shivering hand before her eyes. She stared at it for a moment, before chuckling, going back to her boots. "So I am. Must be the cold."

Her tone was tense. Kili brought a hand up, to rest on her hunched shoulder, and she practically jumped half a foot in the air. "Gwen, look at me."

She brought her eyes up to his, curiosity in her gaze. Kili looked deeper into these emotions though. "Are you scared?"

Alarm flickered through her eyes for a moment, but she hid it quickly, raising a brow. "Should I be?"

"You're scared of the water."

She stared at him for a moment, shock evident on her face, before she chuckled drily, shrugging his hand off, as she turned to finish with her boots. "Didn't think it was that obvious. Maybe I'm losing my touch. But aye," she sighed. "I used to be. I'm over in now, mostly."

"Mostly?" Kili repeated. She was still shaking.

She shot him a wry smile, as she finally pulled her boot off. "Don't worry for me."

"I'll tell Thorin you can't do it," Kili told her. Wonderful. Now, not only was Gwen too tiny for this stunt, but she was also _scared_ of water. Mahal, Kili hadn't gone swimming till he was thirty years old, and he'd never found himself frightened of the water. This really was an awful plan.

"No you won't," she said, tying her boots to the top of her pack. "He'd not believe you, anyway."

Kili sighed. She was right. Gwen stood, brushing herself off, as Fili approached, a loop of rope over his arm. "I'll be fine, Kili. Just don't let go of the rope, aye?"

Kili stood as well, not missing the fear that touched her eyes as she said those words. "I won't."

"This is bloody daft," Fili told her, as he began unwinding a length of the rope.

"Glad to know you all think so highly of my planning skills," Gwen deadpanned, any traces of fear gone from her appearance.

"Arms up," Fili instructed her. "And don't you give me that snark. I'm not pleased with you.

She rolled her eyes, but did as he ordered. "You should be. I'm keeping the lot of you from washing away."

Fili ran the rope around her waist, tying a firm knot against her. Kili fought back a groan, as the fabric of her loose shirt was pulled against the curve of her waist. She was so tiny! This was a very, very bad idea. "Aye, unless you wash away yourself."

"And this rope is meant to keep that from happening."

Fili sighed, shaking his head. "Does that feel tight enough?"

Gwen shifted a bit, settling the rope into place. "Seems fine enough to me."

"Alright..." Fili gripped his end of the rope, white knuckled. "You take this nice and slow, Gwen. Come back if the water gets above your chest," she opened her mouth to protest, but he didn't let her cut in. "Scream if you feel yourself start to slip. Can you do that?"

She nodded, somewhat reluctantly. "Don't worry."

"I will worry, as long as you're determined to pull this daft stunt," Fili shot back.

"We haven't all day," Thorin's voice called, obviously directed at them.

Fili's gaze darkened, and he hissed out a breath, but seemed to resign himself. "You ready then?"

Gwen nodded.

He led her to the side of the water, and Kili followed. Fili tossed the far end of the rope to Bombur, who was sitting in the sand a few feet away. "Hold onto that, would you?"

Bombur nodded, catching the rope out of the air. Fili waved Kili forward, handing him the rope a bit closer to Gwen. "You'll keep an eye on her. Tell us if you see her start to slip or panic, and you and I can tow her back in."

That sorted, Fili moved to grip the rope in between Kili and Bombur. It looked as if he would be the one adjusting the slack of the rope, making sure it didn't get too tight, but also giving her enough leeway to cross the river. Gwen stood next to Kili for a moment, staring out at the water. He sighed, as a cool gust of wind swept past them, carrying a heavier wave of rain. "Oi, Gwen?"

She looked over at him silently, her eyes flickering with panic.

Kili held up his section of the rope, smiling with more confidence than he actually felt. "I've got you. Trust, remember?"

A smile broke out on her face, at that. "I know."

With that, she strode easily into the water. As soon as her back was turned, the smile dropped off of Kili's face. She made it out the first few feet with no problem, the rope sliding smoothly through Kili's hands. He kept his eyes locked on her, as the water rose to her thighs, churning angrily against her legs. It seemed most of the others were watching her cross as well. Kili half-listened to Bombur complaining about what a little twig she was. The large dwarf vowed to get a little more meat on her bones as soon as possible.

By the time she'd made it to the midpoint of the river, the water went about halfway up her chest. "It's getting a bit deep," Fili mentioned, nervousness tingeing his tone.

"She looks fairly steady-"

Kili was stopped halfway through his sentence, his heart leaping into his throat as she suddenly jolted down. His grip went tight on the rope, but she quickly regained her balance, giving them a wave of assurance. He faintly heard her call back, "It's alright!"

His grip on the rope loosened reluctantly. His heart was still thudding painfully against his ribcage, and he didn't dare take his eyes off of her.

Behind him, Fili swore. "She's the balance of a drunk oliphaunt!"

Kili nodded numbly. She had likely just slipped, but had the current caught her wrong, she could very well have been carried off. Kili shivered. He didn't like that idea. To his relief, she made it up onto the shore without incident. When she emerged, her clothes clung to her, strands of her damp hair whipping about in the wind. Kili could see her shivering from yards away. It was impossible to know if it was from the cold, or fear, but Kili felt the distinct urge to gather her up in her arms, and not let her go until that shivering had stopped. "Oi, Kili, let go, would you?"

He was started from his slight trance by his brother, yanking at the rope, still grasped tightly in his hands. Kili shook his head, dropping the rope and flexed his stiff fingers slowly, wincing. The rope had left a harsh imprint on his palms, without him realizing that he had been holding it so tightly. Fili took their end, tying it up to the most stable tree in the premise, while Gwen did the same on her side. Kili attempted to prepare his pack and take off his coats as she crossed back over, using the line to keep her steady, but mostly found himself distracted, watching her. There had to be _someone_ making sure she didn't get whisked away downriver.

Thorin sorted them out carefully, making sure that all the dwarves, wizards, hobbits and packs got safely across the river. Despite the hobbits extreme protests, Bilbo had been forced to ride piggy-back on Gwen, due to the fact that otherwise, he'd end up having to swim his way across. In the end, Dwalin and Gloin had just hoisted him up onto the girl's back. The hobbit's face had remained a somewhat alarming shade of red the whole way across. It finally came to be Kili's turn. He, Fili, Thorin and Gwen were the last to ford the stream. The river sucked angrily at Kili, trying to push him downriver, but he managed to keep his footing through the icy water, while also keeping his mouth above the water-line. He had passed the rocky riverbed in the center, that was slicked with algae, and the ground beneath his feet turned mostly to sand. The water had retreated to his hips when a shout behind him made him look. He turned just in time to see a dark shape whisked out of view, and his heart dropped in his gut as he realized Thorin was missing. He barely had time to think, before Gwen slipped herself under the rope, lunging down the river towards him. Gwen, and Thorin gone, just like that. Panic seizing his muscles, he began fumbling with the taught line beside him. He was good enough at swimming. Hadn't practiced in a year or two, but he'd always beat the others in races. That would have to be good enough.

Before he could get under the rope, though, Fili crashed into him from behind, shouting. "Mahal, Kili! Keep moving!"

"Thorin-"

"Gwen's got him! We're almost out!"

Kili's protests were interrupted by his brother quite actually shoving him up onto the river bank. It seemed the others had seen Gwen and Thorin go, and were already gone to find them, downstream. Kili staggered up onto the sand, his muscles burning with exertion, but he didn't leave any time to catch his breath, charging down the riverbank. The river only got deeper and nastier as he went, curved and narrow in places, and Kili's heart clenched painfully in his chest. Where were they?

After what felt like an eternity of running, he stumbled to a stop at the sight of Thorin being dragged up onto the ground, river water coursing off of him. He was soaked through, but Kili could see his chest heaving. Now..."Gwen!"

He looked up at that cry to see Ori, a bit downstream, reaching out into the river. Kili wasted no time, skidding to a stop next to the small dwarf, who was grasping onto Gwen's forearm with one hand, a tuft of grass, to keep him anchored to the ground, with the other. If he'd had the breath, Kili would have sworn colorfully. Gwen's pale arm was the only thing above the surface. Her head was just a mass of dark hair, swirling in the force of the river, desperate to drag her further downstream. Kili laid himself out on the river bank as quickly as he could, grabbing onto the first part of her he could reach, and tugging with all the energy left in his muscles.

In a moment, he had hauled her head and shoulders out of the water. Fili replaced Ori at his side, and together, they dragged her up onto the muddy grass of the river bank. She flopped, strengthlessly to the ground, shuddering and convulsing like a fish out of water, as she retched up mouthfuls of dirty brown water. Kili felt himself relax a bit. She was still alive. He grabbed her around the waist, lifting her into a crouching position, as the awful noises of her choking on the water in her lungs turned more into coughs. Fili gave her a few solid pats on the back. "You're alright, lass."

When her coughs had turned slightly less violent and wracking, Kili heard her gasp out Thorin's name. He frowned. "He's alright."

Kili was forced to lean a bit closer to her to hear her next shuddering words. "Go to him."

Her order lacked any fire, as she immediately dissolved into a fit of convulsing hacking, a slosh of water spilled out of her mouth. Kili gave her another solid pat on the back, hoping to knock a bit more of that water from her lungs, exchanging a look with his brother. She was dying. Why in Mahal's name did she care about Thorin? "He's got Oin with him."

" _Go to him,"_ she insisted, after a moment of gasping. "He'll hate me."

"Alright, I will, I will," Fili assured her. He stood, looking concerned at Kili, before going to check on Thorin.

Kili rubbed a soothing hand up and down on her back. "He won't hate you, Gwen."

She shook her head, her eyes still tightly closed. "Already does."

Kili's frown only deepened, though he wasn't sure he could protest with that. Did Thorin hate her? He did send her out in the river, even though it was nearly suicide...He was startled from that thought as Gwen collapsed into the mud, like a puppet having its strings cut. She curled onto her side, still shuddering with occasional coughs and gasps.

Worry flickered through Kili's mind, and he moved a bit closer, pulling her up onto his lap. "You're alright now, Gwen. Just breathe."

"Easy for you to say," she bit out.

Kili rolled his eyes. Even looking like a drowned rat, and practically vomiting a river full of water onto herself, Gwen felt the need to make snappy remarks. He'd have to have a talk with her about priorities. He heaved her shuddering frame into a more upright position, holding her up against his chest. "Shut up."

She seemed to obey, but that could have just been due to a new wave of coughs that shook her. It was another few minutes of listening to her heave and retch, before her breath stilled into slight normalcy. She curled up into him, settling herself so her ear was against his chest. Kili rested his chin on top of the dripping tangles of her hair, holding tightly to her with an arm wrapped around her shoulders. She was shaking like a leaf, her skin like ice against his own. This shivering, he imagined, wasn't due just to hypothermia, though. Almost being carried off to sea couldn't do any good to her fear of water.

It was another few minutes before Oin came over, kneeling in front of them. "How is she laddie?"

"She's a bit drowned," Gwen murmured in response before Kili could open his mouth to speak.

It didn't seem Oin had heard though, so Kili spoke up loud enough for the dwarf to hear. "Better than she was."

"Anything broken?"

Gwen shook her head.

Oin seemed satisfied with that, pulling a strange looking instrument from his bag. "I'll need to listen in on your lungs, then."

Gwen nodded, uncurling herself from Kili's arms, straightening her shirt out. The instrument Oin had looked a bit like his hearing trumpet, but with a longer, curved tube up to the spot where he listened. He pressed the wide end of the device against the center of her chest. "Take a few deep breaths for me."

Kili sat in silence, as Gwen did as she was told, Oin nodding as he listened. He pulled the device away after a few moments, stowing it in his bag. "Seems like you've gotten most of the water out. Cough, if you feel the need to, and you should be fine soon enough."

"Thank you."

"Anything else?"

"I wrenched my ankle, I think," Gwen explained, extending her right leg. "It got caught in a log, and the river twisted me the wrong way."

Oin hummed upon hearing this, moving down to inspect the ankle she indicated. Kili leaned over to look, and it seemed it was already swelling a bit. Oin prodded it gently, and Gwen winced. "I felt that."

The dwarf nodded, before lifting her ankle, carefully feeling around the joints. "Aye, it's sprained a bit." He went back into his bag, drawing out a roll of bandages. "Try and keep your weight off of it, and get it raised when you can. You'll know it's healed when it stops hurting. It's not terrible, so you should be all healed up in a few days' time," Oin explained as he bound Gwen's ankle.

She nodded. "I think that's all then."

Oin gave her a half smile as he stood. "Aye. Look after yourself, lassie."

Gwen smiled in return, and once the dwarf was gone, her weight fell back onto Kili's chest. "It's not even winter," she huffed, hugging herself tightly. "What's this cold doing here?"

Kili shrugged, returning his arm to its spot, wrapping securely around her. "Making you miserable."

She mumbled out some sort of a curse at the wind, and whether or not she realized it, she shifted herself more into him. They sat like that for a moment, before she spoke again. "You should go see Thorin."

Kili shook his head. He could see most of the other dwarves gathered around him, and since no one had told Kili otherwise, he assumed his uncle was fine. Oin wouldn't have come over to check on Gwen if his uncle still needed attention. "He's fine."

"That may be, but you should still go and speak to him."

"Why?" Kili breathed, resting his temple on the top of her head. He could still feel her shivering faintly, even with him wrapped about her. He couldn't leave her. She'd catch her death of a cold. "He's got all the others nursing him."

"But you're his nephew."

Kili sighed. She had a point. "You're still-"

"Go," she told him, pulling out of his arms. "I'll be fine."

Kili watched as she sorted herself out, so she could sit on her own. After pausing a bit more, he stood, although reluctantly, making his way to the crowd around Thorin. Fili passed him on the way, giving him a nod, then going to sit with Gwen. Kili pushed his way forward, till he could see Thorin, leaning up against a rock, his arm in a sling, and all his clothes soaked, but still looking brooding and a bit annoyed. "Uncle?"

Thorin looked up. "Kili."

The dwarves around them dispersed a bit, as Kili went to crouch next to him. "What's this?" he asked, pointing to Thorin's braced arm. "Have you been hurt?"

"Dislocated shoulder," he growled. "It's been set already, but Oin insisted on this damn sling."

Kili nodded, before the two of them fell into silence. What had Gwen wanted him to do, coming to see his uncle?

"The girl. She's alright?"

Kili was startled a bit by the question, but hurried to answer. "Gwen? Oh, she's well enough. A bit of a sprained ankle, and she looks like a drowned cat, but she'll make it."

Thorin nodded slowly. "Did Oin check her?"

"Aye," Kili confirmed.

Thorin seemed done with that topic of conversation, calling to Dori. "Find a place nearby to set up camp. We'll need fire."

The dwarf nodded, scuttling off, dragging Ori with him.

Kili took a look around. It seemed they'd all come to this spot downriver, and brought their packs down as well. Gandalf had joined Fili at Gwen's side, and she smiled weakly, at their talking over her. She'd been wrapped up in her heavy coat, but Kili could tell she was still shivering. Mahal, was she ever not cold?

"We can't afford any more delays," Thorin sighed. Kili looked over. His uncle's eyes were fixed on the gray sky. "Durin's Day grows nearer and nearer."

Kili nodded. "We'll make it."

Thorin suddenly looked over at him, though he said nothing. As this dragged on for a few long moments, Kili was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable. Finally, the dwarf spoke, after a heavy sigh. "You want the girl to stay with us, don't you?"

Kili was a bit surprised, but automatically nodded.

"She will not be a hindrance to our quest?"

"No more hindrance than me or you," he answered truthfully.

Thorin paused again. "She'll stay with the company for now."

Kili's heart leapt. Gwen was staying? His uncle had finally given in?

Thorin scoffed. "However, I retain the right to remove her from our premises any time I feel it necessary."

Kili nodded, too elated by the information to care about Thorin's conditions. Gwen was _staying!_

"Go on," Thorin sighed. "Go tell her."

Kili leapt up to do just that.

As he told Gwen the news, he had a flashback to that time that seemed so long ago, back in the inn, when he'd gotten Thorin's permission for her to travel with them through the Misty Mountains. This time was different. Her eyes had gone wide in shock, joy shining clear through the exhaustion that lay in a film over her gaze. She barely got the chance to smile, before Fili reached over, dragging her into his side for a tight hug. She tried to protest, but her voice was drowned out in his thick fur coat. When she finally was released, she crinkled her nose, giving him a punch in the arm, before Gandalf leaned down, ruffling her mop of wet hair, and chuckling heartily. "Seems I won't yet lose my head with these dwarves."

Most of the others had been pleased to hear the news. Bilbo, specifically, had forgone a hug in favor of a thorough handshake, which Gwen had accepted, fighting back a laugh at the hobbit's insistence on manners. When the space cleared, Kili sat himself down next to her, pulling her into him, planting a kiss on the side of her head. She'd squirmed out of his grasp, but Kili did catch a smile twitching onto her lips when she thought he couldn't see.

Dori returned soon, to escort them to the place he'd found for them to spend the night. It was a sizeable clearing, that seemed as if it had been used for this purpose before, and the forest came right up to the edge of the patch of ground. Two fires were quickly built up to a roar, and Kili had changed into dry clothes, leaving his soaked garments over a tree to dry out. By the time dinner had been made, the sun was resting low on the horizon, casting long shadows across them. Kili was about to go out and look for his brother, who'd gone missing half an hour or so ago, when the blonde dwarf appeared out of the trees, nearly colliding with Kili. "Oh, Kili!"

"Fili," he greeted with a nod, watching with a raised brow as Fili raised his arm, wiping his nose off on his sleeve.

"I'll...I'll be going then," Fili continued, eyes darting to avoid Kili's.

Kili caught his brother's sleeve before he could go, taking a moment to confirm his suspicion. Indeed, the blonde dwarf's eyes were rimmed in red, and a bit bloodshot. "Why were you crying?"

"Just my allergies," Fili mumbled, swiping at his, undoubtedly watery eyes.

"Aye," Kili said with a roll of his eyes. "Your allergy to emotions. Now, tell me."

"It's a seasonal thing," Fili assured him. "Must be something blooming right now."

Kili raised a brow, looking about at the changing leaves. "Nothing's blooming. It's autumn."

He shrugged. "Leaf mildew, then."

Kili punched him in the arm. "Fee, Durin help me..."

"Fine," he at last huffed. "You know I get teary when I see other people crying."

Ah, yes. Kili was definitely familiar with this. It got ridiculous, sometimes. At the sight of a funeral procession, weddings (such as Gloin's), even little babes crying made him have to excuse himself, to pull himself back together. Kili frowned. "Who was crying?"

"Can't actually tell you that..."

"What do you mean you can't tell me?" Kili said, tone frustrated. "I tell you everything!"

"It was Gwen, alright?" Fili admitted after a minute.

Kili tensed. "What did you do?" He would not hesitate to beat his own brother up. He'd done it before, and wouldn't mind too much doing it again.

"Nothing, nothing," Fili said, raising his hands up defensively. "She just walked up, grabbed on to me, and started bawling. Didn't explain herself, and I got a bit too...emotional to ask."

Kili nodded slowly. What on earth could have been wrong?

A voice called to them, and Fili clapped him on the shoulder. "Talk to you later."

Kili waved absently, and he was gone. Why was Gwen crying? And why hadn't she gone to Kili about it? Had he done something wrong? A quick glance around showed that Gwen was with the rest of the company, laughing at something Ori had said. It didn't seem like she'd just recovered from a breakdown...was Fili mistaken? Maybe it had been Bofur, not Gwen. They both had dark hair...Kili shook his head, dismissing the thought. He'd figure this out later.

* * *

Kili found his thoughts much too occupied to fall asleep, as he laid in his back on his bedroll, watching the column of smoke and sparks that rose from the fire rise into the star-strewn night sky. For a reason he couldn't quite determine, the desire kept rising in him to roll over, and take a look at Gwen. Maybe it was due to the fact that most of his convoluted thoughts were focused on her. The image of her body being wracked with coughs, as she drowned on the water in her own lungs seemed burned into his eyes. This was accompanied by the memory of the way it felt to have her curled up in his arms, cold, fragile, and shaking.

His eyes shot wide, as another image flashed into his head. The delicate, pale arch of Gwen's cheek, leading into a tiny ear, molded at the end into a point. Those weren't the ears of a human. He didn't want to say, even in the quiet of his mind, what they looked like. It couldn't be. Thinking back, it was very likely he was suffering from hypothermia at the time he "saw" this. In all likelihood, that silly image of Gwen with distinctly elven ears was some conjured dream of his cold-addled unconscious. Still, if it really was just some hallucination, why was it so clear in his mind, so real?

He finally rolled over onto his side, starting a bit, upon seeing Gwen's dark eyes, glinting in the shadows. The fire cast warm, flickering light across her face. Something in Kili's heart went tight as she smiled faintly at him. Mahal, she was beautiful.

"Can't sleep either?"

Kili merely nodded, to afraid to open his mouth, lest something ridiculous spill out. He was tired. It was turning his thoughts to things he usually wouldn't bother thinking. Gwen had always been pretty. He'd taken note of it before. A voice in the back of his head protested, crying out that she'd never been like _this_.

The look in her eyes...Her gaze burned with something warm and passionate, something almost entirely unfamiliar to him. And that gaze was directed piercingly, undeniably at him. "It's been a long day," she sighed.

"Too long," Kili agreed, his voice low enough that only she'd be able to hear his words.

That smile returned to her face, a bit bemused. "Not long enough."

Kili found himself smiling. Then silence fell, and her burning eyes were focused onto him. Out of his churning thoughts, one emerged, and he slid his hand out of his bedroll, reaching out to her. She bridged the rest of the gap, her fingers tangling in his. As soon as they touched, Kili's heart settled in his chest, his thoughts stilling. His eyelids grew heavy as Gwen gently ran her thumb over his knuckles. "Good night, my dear Master Dwarf."

Kili smiled blearily, as the world around him grew dark. "G'night my..." his mind searched for the right words, but he ended up just mumbling out, "Gwen," before letting sleep finally take him.

* * *

 _ **Well. I asked for four reviews, and you guys gave me five. You either love this story, or enjoy ironically spiting me. Either way, each review made me so freaking happy. It's a little sad. Hope you liked this chapter! Ain't nothing like a river to make Thorin feel bad. Review? Can we try and match our number from last chapter? Next chapter up Tuesday! Have a great weekend, and stay safe!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Sleeping with the Enemy**_


	10. Sleeping with the Enemy

_**As per usual, I own nothing. Please don't sue me.**_

 _ **WARNING: Somewhat gory death. If you are sensetive to that sort of thing, you may want to skip the first section.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER TEN**

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY

"Always knew dwarves were slow!"

Kili rolled his eyes, weaving around a tree. "I'm not even trying! If I were, you'd have to watch out."

The sound of Gwen's laughter reached his ears, putting a smile on his face, even as he tripped a bit over a root. "Aye, Master Dwarf! I'll believe it when I see it."

Kili growled and forced his legs to move him along a bit faster. Gwen couldn't beat him. He did have _some_ sense of pride to preserve. At last, he broke through the forest cover, sunlight washing over his skin. The babble of the stream filled the air, a nice breeze brushing through his hair. He caught sight of Gwen, sprinting upstream, her bare feet crunching in the gravelly sand at the side of the river. Grit flicked up at his calves from where his feet churned through the sand. Finally he caught up to her, grabbing her around the waist as he crashed into her back. Gwen squeaked in surprise, and Kili laughed in triumph, as he swung her off her feet in a circle. She squirmed free after a moment, then swore as she tumbled into the creek.

Kili only laughed more, at the sight of her utterly astonished expression, as the creek burbled around her. "Bloody dwarven bastard!"

"That's what you get for calling me slow!"

Gwen glowered at him, before scooping up a handful of water from beside her, flinging it in his direction. It hit him straight on, dousing cold river water down his face, and drawing a gasp out of his lungs. "Gwen!"

She smiled innocently up at him, still sitting in the middle of the brook. "What?"

Kili shook his head. This girl would be the death of him. When she was busy trying not to laugh, as he shoved loose strands of hair out of his face, Kili stepped into the creek, kicking a wave of water over her. She immediately raised her arms in defense, curling away from his attack. Once she'd recovered she staggered to her feet, bringing up another handful of water to throw at his face. Kili dodged it narrowly, but felt his balance go. Gwen tumbled down on top of him. With her weight atop him, he fell onto his back, wincing at the feel of the cold water seeping through his clothes into his skin. When his eyes reopened, he found his face centimeters away from hers, their noses brushing against each other's. Mahal, he wanted to kiss her.

He froze as that thought flooded his mind. But there was an undeniable truth to it. He suddenly became excruciatingly aware of the fact that he very, _very_ much wanted to kiss her.

When he blinked, she was gone. He sat up, hands clenching in the mud of the riverbank beneath him, casting around. "Gwen?"

Where could she have gone? She was right there!

As he dragged himself to his feet, the heavy, dark skies above him shook with thunder, a crackle of lighting splitting through the imposing clouds. "Gwen!"

The rush of the river tried valiantly to drown out his words, and he heard no response. A wave of dread came up on him as he staggered downstream. No signs of Gwen. She was gone. The mud under his feet suddenly gave out, and he was sliding down the grass, a scream nearly tearing out of his throat. When he finally came to a stop, he fumbled to swipe the mud out of his eyes, only to let out a scream of surprise once he'd gotten them open. There, in the little eddy that formed on the side of the river, was the pale, broken body of Gwen. He stumbled back, nausea rising in him. Her eyes had been wide open, but blank, staring into his own. As another slough of water came down the riverbed, it turned her head, attached to her stretched, shattered neck. Her hair was lazily dragged away, enough for him to see her ears. Her long, pointed ears.

* * *

 _"Ai, rhaich..."_

The world around him fell slowly into place. Skies, barely touched by the light of dawn; the chill of early morning air and the scratch of woolen blankets against his skin; the silhouette of Gwen sitting up on her bedroll; the sickening pound of his heart against his ribcage; the trickle of cold sweat that ran down his back...

Mahal, he barely remembered what he dreamed, only fragmented bits and pieces, but those things he did remember made him shiver in horror. He needed to not make this sort of dreaming a reoccurring thing. Two was quite enough.

He flicked his eyes up to Gwen, as she continued to mutter under her breath. He he had to blink a few times to get his vision clear enough to see she was clutching at her side, twisting to try and see, as she lifted her shirt halfway up her back.

"Gwen?" His voice was gravelly from disuse.

She startled at the sound of his voice, dropping her shirt, and looking down at him. "Kili! I didn't know you were awake."

"Just woke up," Kili mumbled, trying not to dwell too much on the cause of his rude awakening. He dragged himself into a sitting position on his bedroll. "What's gone on with you?"

She shrugged, resting a hand on the spot he knew her wound was. "Just tore my scrape back open in the river."

"May I see?"

"It's nothing," she said with a dismissing wave of her hand.

Kili shook his head, as memories from his two terrible dreams rose up in his mind. Neither were true. Gwen was here. And she was okay. He patted the space on the other end of his bedroll. "Come on."

She rolled her eyes. "Will protesting do me any good?"

Kili shook his head. "Not now that you've got me worried."

"Fine," she sighed, but a half smile showed on her face as she gingerly crawled the few feet to him.

Once she was sitting in front of him, he pulled her shirt up to her waist, forcing down the blush that tried to rise on his cheeks. This was purely for medical purposes. He had to lean down at a bit of an odd angle to see the wound, and the lighting was faint, but he could see it well enough. The edges seemed to be well along with healing, and most of it was well scabbed over, but along the very center, he could see a crack that was oozing fresh blood. He fumbled for his waterskin, tied to the side of his pack. "D'you have any clean bandages?"

In a moment, she offered him a fresh roll of cotton. He tore off a piece, and soaked it in clean water, before leaning down, and working gently to clean the reopened part of the wound out. "So, what all happened in the river?"

"Honestly, I don't remember all of it," she explained, wincing only slightly as he dabbed the blood out. "I was panicked. I free drifted for a bit, before I remembered what was happening. After a bit, I found Thorin, caught against a log, getting pulled under. I got him out of there, and it carried us a bit further, together. My ankle caught in something, and we got separated. I was in too much pain to swim very well but the next thing I knew, someone was holding my arm, and I couldn't get any air. Then...well, you know what happened after that."

Kili nodded, even though she couldn't see. She'd done well, in his book. "How is your ankle feeling?"

"It hurts," she said, simply. "But Oin was right. It's not a bad sprain."

"If you ever need help, just ask, aye?"

She chuckled drily. "We both know I won't ask for help."

Kili gritted his teeth. "I wish you would. Would you rather I just carry you the whole way?"

She laughed genuinely then, though she kept it quiet enough not to wake the other dwarves. "No offense to your strengthliness, Master Dwarf, but I really don't think you could."

"I will if I have to."

"Your determination is impressive, I must admit."

Kili reached for the rest of the roll of bandages, setting aside the bit he'd used to clean out the wound. He spoke as he wound the bandage firmly around her. "I've had a lot of people tell me that."

"Some might consider it annoying, really."

He gave her a poke in the ribs, once he'd tied off the end of the bandage. "Watch your tongue, lass. I'm the only one keeping you alive so far." He set aside the bandages, shifting forward to wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her back into his chest and settling his chin on her shoulder. The warmth of her against his front helped to repel the damp chill of the morning air that crept over his skin.

She snorted indelicately, tilting her head over to rest against his. "Don't be daft. Fili's helped too."

"Not as much as I have," Kili grumbled.

"Don't pout," she told him in a fairly stern tone. "It's unbecoming of a prince of Erebor."

Prince of Erebor. That had a nice ring to it. He found himself tightening his grip around her, as excitement bubbled through his veins. He would be a prince of Erebor.

"But what would be rather _becoming_ ," she continued. "Is going to fetch some water from the river for me to boil out."

Ah. There was her ulterior motive. He leaned away a bit, flicking her in the side of the head. "Manipulative little brat."

She grinned at him, as he fumbled to yank his boots on. "Not manipulative, per say, just clever."

Kili rolled his eyes, standing up. "Aye. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Before he could leave for the river, though, a sound cut through the early morning air. Wargs. And close by. The camp flurried into waking around him, as he exchanged a look with Gwen. This couldn't be good. Thorin's voice sounded clearly above the mumbles and groans of the other dwarves, and the faint howling of wargs. "Up, all of you! Bilbo, go up and see how close they are. The rest of you, pack up camp."

Kili dropped back down onto his bedroll next to Gwen, fumbling for his belongings. "Mahal, can't they-"

"Quickly!" Thorin said again. "We may be chased down again."

Kili closed his mouth quickly, forcing himself to focus on the job at hand as Gwen crawled back to her bedroll.

The entire camp was packed up before five minutes had passed. Kili felt a certain sense of pride at this. They may not be the best and brightest, necessarily, but they could certainly follow orders. Suddenly, Fili leaned into Kili, speaking low. "I saw that, you know."

Kili frowned, turning to face his brother's mischievous expression. "Saw what?"

Fili smirked. "Gwen. On your bedroll."

Oh. That wasn't good. Kili shook his head. "It was nothing."

"Really?" Fili raised an eyebrow, mocking. "Nothing?"

Kili was luckily saved from having to reply, by Bilbo scrambling down from the rocks, into their midst. Bless that little hobbit.

"How close is the pack?" Thorin pressed eagerly, Orcrist already drawn.

"Too close," Bilbo panted, slowing to a stop in the center of the group. He was panicked. This was quickly seeming to be a very disastrous situation. "A couple of leagues, no more. But that it not the worst of it."

On that note, Kili drew his sword. No reason not to be prepared.

"The wargs picked up our scent," Dwalin growled.

"Not yet, but they will." Bilbo took a moment to regain his breath while Kili swore. They hadn't been moving nearly fast enough. "We have another problem."

"Did they see you?" Gandalf asked. At Bilbo's slightly confused look, alarm trickled into the wizard's tone. "They saw you!"

Bilbo quickly dismissed it with a shake of his head. "No, that's not it."

Gandalf hummed happily. "Well done to you. Quiet as a mouse. Excellent burglar material," The wizard continued.

A grin broke over Kili's face, as he slapped Fili in the arm. They'd done good, trusting in the little fellow.

"Will you just _listen_ to me?"Bilbo implored, tone strained. "I am trying to tell you, there is something else out there!"

"What form did it take?" Gandalf asked, any traces of mirth gone from his tone.

"A bear?" Gwen added, tension audible in her voice. Kili glanced up at her to see she'd gone a bit pale.

"Yes-" Bilbo turned to Gwen, startled. "Y-yes, but bigger, _much_ bigger."

Bofur looked from Gwen to Gandalf, then back to Gwen, panic starting across his features. "You two knew about this beast."

"I say we double back," Dori suggested, shifting anxiously from foot to foot.

"We'll be run down by a pack of orcs," Thorin shot back.

As the rest of the dwarves broke into mumbling, Gandalf and Gwen exchanged a rather serious look. Kili could see the trepidation in Gwen's eyes. She was very unhappy. Gandalf turned to look across the forest. "There is a house."

Gwen sucked in a deep breath at this, her fist clenching on the hilt of her sword, and Kili felt nerves bubble up in him. If Gwen, seemingly possessing some greater knowledge on this whole predicament was made uncomfortable by this proposition, then Kili was certainly wary of it.

"It's not far from here," Gandalf elaborated. "And it's where we _might_ take refuge."

"Who's house?" Thorin asked, tone suspicious. "Are they friend or foe?"

Gandalf hesitated before replying. "Neither. He will help us, or.."

"He'll kill us," Gwen finished grimly.

Oh, well this sounded like a bloody brilliant plan. Practically risk free.

"What choice do we have?" Thorin said, right before a vicious snarl sounded nearby. Chills ran over Kili's skin.

They all whipped around to seek out the source of the sound, while Gandalf merely answered, "None."

* * *

The rest of their day was spent fleeing from not only the orc pack, but also whatever vicious bear-like beast was on their trail. Kili's muscles were burning awfully, each panting breath stinging his lungs. They'd had to run more than half the way, ushered onwards by the sounds of wargs howling, the horrible screams of orcs, and the roaring of the bear-beast. Most of them had kept up alright (including Bombur, to all of their surprise) but Gwen's injured ankle had left her collapsing on the ground after the first hour. Thorin had quickly arranged for her to be carried, so Dwalin, Oin, and Fili had all taken turns carrying the girl on her back. She'd tried to start running again, when they were crossing a field, but Thorin had quickly snarled at her to stop being foolish. She'd kept her mouth shut the rest of the way. After hearing the roars disturbingly close on their heels, they broke through the tree cover, sprinting across an open field towards what looked like a massive, over grown wall. They streaked through the gate, into a garden of sorts. Kili hardly had time to glance around, before he crashed into the doors of the stone house in the center. The doors were solid wood, hardly budging an inch, even when he slammed all of his weight against it. Another roar sounded. Mahal, they were going to die. "Open the door!" Gandalf shouted from a bit behind.

Kili quickly found the weight of multiple dwarves crashing into his back, smashing him into the door. Open it? Where was the latch?

"Quickly!" Thorin added.

A slender arm reached above his head, and suddenly, the door had swung open. He and the others tumbled inside, and as soon as he'd regained his footing, he grabbed the swinging door, throwing his weight to close it again. He'd hardly got it back in the doorframe, when an awful weight collided with it from the other side, and suddenly, the massive head of a bear, snarling and spitting, drool dripping from its gaping jaws, crammed itself in the slight gap between the two doors. Kili recoiled immediately, as its hot, foul breath washed over him, its jagged, glistening teeth snapping hardly inches from his head. As he felt the door start to push open, though, he ignored the vicious beast, throwing his weight against the door again. "Get it closed!" he shouted, the words stinging his raw throat.

In another moment, the heavy slab of the other door thumped closed, and the inner deadbolt had been thrown down, securing the doors shut. Kili slumped against the door, shaking. That was far too close for his taste.

"What is that?" he heard Ori gasp.

"That is our host."

Kili had to look up then. Gandalf's face was entirely serious, and quite a few questions rose in Kili's mind. Had the wizard finally cracked?

The beast seemed to fade in its growls, perhaps backing away from the doors as Gandalf continued. "His name is Beorn, and he's a skin-changer."

Gandalf turned away from the doors, making his way further into the house. Many of the dwarves followed him, including Kili. He exchanged a nod with his brother, before his eyes went to Gwen, sitting on the floor against the wall. She looked rather ashen, her eyes wide and unfocused. Kili crouched beside her. "You alright?"

She nodded, a bit numbly. "Aye."

Kili watched her for another moment, but still couldn't figure out what was wrong with her, so grabbed her arm, pulling it across his shoulders. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

He listened absently to Gandalf's words, still in a bit of a state of disbelief, as he hauled Gwen up to her feet.

"Sometimes, he's a huge black bear, sometimes, he's a great strong man. The bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with. However, he is not over-fond of dwarves."

Kili helped Gwen out of the entrance area, supporting her as she hopped, one footed, up the few stairs. The space was massive, straw strewn over the wood-plank floor, large tables filling the space, much higher and wider than any he'd seen. The man who lived there would have to be huge. He'd just sat Gwen down on a small ledge, when he heard Dori say, in a not-so-quiet whisper, "It's obvious, he's under some sort of dark spell!"

"Don't be a fool," Gandalf groaned, as Gwen rolled her eyes, shifting over to give Kili room to sit. "He's under no enchantment but his own. Right, now," he said louder, to the rest of the room. "Get some sleep, all of you. You'll be safe here tonight."

Kili sat heavily next to Gwen, his legs crying out in pain. "We really have not been able to catch a break lately, have we?"

Gwen shook her head. "And we still haven't caught a break."

"What do you know of this skin-changer?" Kili asked.

"I've heard many tales of him," she explained. "And Gandalf was right. He's...unpredictable, at his best mood. Of course, Gandalf was also right about him not being fond of dwarves, so I really doubt he'll end up being at his best mood."

Kili sighed, stretching his legs out in front of him. "Bloody brilliant."

"You're right about the bloody bit," Gwen mumbled, setting Kili on edge. This was just getting better and better. If he weren't dead exhausted after the day of flight, he'd likely have trouble sleeping. Suddenly, Gwen spoke again. "You look terrible. Quite a mess."

He raised a brow. "Quite the flatterer, you are."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Turn about. Let me see your hair."

Kili might have protested, but the finality of her tone told him that it would only prove to be a waste of energy. He turned on the bench, and Gwen went to work immediately, sliding his clasp the rest of the way out from his hair. Her fingers worked nimbly through his tangled locks, mostly gently, though Kili flinched as she yanked a particularly snarled knot out. "That is my hair you're pulling, you know."

"Really?" she asked absently. "I thought it was Fili's. This is awkward."

"Oh, Fili would be protesting much more," Kili said. "He's a rather sensitive scalp."

"What's that?"

Kili flinched at the sound of Fili's voice. He glanced over to see his brother had just made his way over, looking curious.

"Kili's told me you've a delicate scalp," Gwen told him.

Fili's outrage was immediate. He leaned forward, giving Kili a stinging thump on the temple, settling himself down at the very end of the bench in front of Kili with a huff. "I thought we'd agreed not to tell anyone about that!"

Kili opened his mouth to speak, but Gwen got there before him, still working through Kili's hair. "And as long as we're getting the truth out there, he's also told me that you cry at the drop of a hat."

Fili gaped, while Kili closed his eyes, bracing for the storm. "Ah," Fili said, brightly, after recovering. "Then maybe you'd like to hear a thing or two about Kili?"

"No," Kili answered.

Gwen ignored him. "I think that would be quite appropriate, indeed."

"He wet his bed until he was twenty-two, hid in the cupboards when it stormed till he was twenty five, and still gets scared by the stories about ghosts in the mines."

And just like that, Kili's face was burning up, and he was quite pleased imagining what it might look like to see his brother's head on a pike.

Fili smirked at him, before adding, "And he doesn't have a beard because it looks like that of a balding goat when it grows out."

Oh, that was the last straw. He lunged forward, pulse blazing. He would see his brother dead that day, or he would die trying. He was halted by Gwen, who kept a firm grip on his hair. "Now, now, Kili. Calm down."

"Gwen, let _go!"_ he called back, longing to wipe that smug smirk right off his brother's face.

"Not a chance. Besides, there's no shame in being...sensitive. Or beardless." He could practically hear the suppressed laughter in her voice.

Only her iron grip on his scalp kept him from twisting around to attack her. "I swear, Gwen, I will-" he was cut off with a slight yelp, as she yanked a bit of hair by the nape of his neck, making his eyes water.

"Oh, sorry," she said, in a tone that indicated no real remorse.

"I believe I've caused enough damage here," Fili yawned, as he stood, stretching. "Time to check on food."

Once he was gone, the hold on Kili's hair lessened a bit, to be replaced by the somewhat soothing feeling of her fingernails combing gently over his scalp. "You're the worst, you know," Kili grumbled, as his bloodlust faded.

Gwen chuckled. "That was all your brother. I just sat and absorbed the information being presented, then commented as I saw fit. "

Kili snorted. "Aye, sure."

He felt the cool brush of metal on his scalp after a moment, before Gwen's hands fell away. "There. You're pretty again."

"I was _always_ pretty," Kili asserted, turning to face forward on the bench, to see Gwen watching him bemusedly, one eyebrow raised. "Thorin's the majestic one, Fili's the airheaded one, and I'm the pretty one."

Gwen snorted ungracefully, settling back into the wall behind her. "It's good you've got this worked out."

"I like to think so," Kili said, leaning back into the wall as well. Gwen looked tired, and a tad drawn, but Kili took particular notice of her hair. He reached over to pluck a somewhat frizzy curl off her shoulder. "You know, you're not exactly looking quite put together either. Would you like me to go through your hair? Maybe braid it away a bit?"

She shook her head dismissively, the curl falling out of his fingers. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I'll take care of it myself. And braids tend to do more harm than good."

Kili frowned to himself. This was...odd. What did she mean? Unprompted, the image appeared in his mind of long, gracefully pointed ears. If she was, in fact, hiding ears like that, she'd not like to have her hair braided away. Or having him fiddling with her hair at all, really. He shook his head. This was ridiculous. There was no way Gwen was an elf. All the evidence, save _maybe_ this went against it.

"It's alright, you know, that you're not quite perfect." He looked to see Gwen had slouched down to the point where she had to look up a bit into his eyes. "That you were, or still are, a bit frightened of some things."

He examined her eyes carefully. Her emotions were mostly guarded, but he was able to pick out concern, weariness, and maybe a bit of remorse? "I'm glad you think so," he said quite honestly.

Relief flickered through her gaze, before she focused it down to her hands. "And, it's...well, not that it really matters, but I don't think you need a beard to be...handsome, or whatever it is you want to be."

Kili tilted his head, trying to see her face a bit better. While she kept it mostly hidden, he was definitely able to identify a blush tinting her cheeks as she adamantly avoided his gaze. He found a smile growing across his face. She'd definitely just called him handsome, in her own roundabout way. He slid an arm over her shoulders, squeezing her into his side. "Thank you, Gwen." Before she could squirm out of his grasp, he planted a kiss on her hairline.

* * *

 _ **Bit of a dry chapter,but really, I do believe this is the last dull/uneventful chapter in this entire fic, so stick with me people! We'll get through this together! So...nine reviews, eh? That's crazy. Totally crazy. You're all wonderful. Special shout-out to all my first time reviewers. I love you. Just thought you should know. Of course, I love all of you, though, not just first time reviewers. Thank you so much for your support! Drop a review if you get the chance! They brighten my day like a 4000 watt bulb. Seeya Friday!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Not Brave Enough**_


	11. Not Brave Enough

_**Tolkien and Peter Jackson own everything but my OC.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER ELEVEN**

NOT BRAVE ENOUGH

The door before him was familiar. He had no recollection of ever having seen it, but somehow, he knew it. Knew the knots in its deep grain, the rust on the latch, the way you had to lift it half an inch up off the ground to get it to swing open. Just the sight of it sent a swell of warmth up into his heart. Whatever this door was, it was good. There were many very, very good things connected to it. Despite this good feeling, he struggled to bring himself to lift the latch. There was something holding him back. Keeping his hand by his side.

But Mahal, he wanted to open the door.

He struggled with himself for what might have been half an hour, or half a heartbeat, until his fingers were wrapped around the cool iron of the latch. A few bits of rust flaked away at the contact, but it was sturdily made. It was such a strange thing, lifting the latch to open the door. It felt like he was trying to lift the entire building. He shifted his weight, holding the solid wood of the door up off the ground, keeping it from scraping against the stone. If they let it scrape against the ground too much, the bottom would wear away, and the cold air would seep into the house more easily. They really should just spend an hour getting it set straight in the doorframe.

He shook his head. Where had that thought come from? Now that it was there, though, he somehow knew it to be fact. Just as much as the sky was blue, and dwarves lived in mountains.

The door swung slowly, heavily open, assaulting his senses. The smell of wood smoke, earth, dried meat, frying potatoes, bread, swirled together with something entirely strange, but somehow perfect. The sound of crackling fire, footsteps on wood floor, and low, soft singing. A rush of warm air. But only darkness greeted his eyes through the doorframe. Darkness. Where were they? All the things his senses and memory told him was there?

He blinked hard, and suddenly, that darkness swamped him.

* * *

When his eyes reopened, Kili found a terrible sneeze caught in his nose. He moved instinctively, reaching up to bat away the bit of straw that had somehow made its way up into his nostrils. He was forced to sit up, as a massive sneeze burst out of him. He'd always hated sneezes. This one was no different, forcing the air from his lungs, making his thoughts feel all scrambled about.

As he was taken by a series of terrible sneezes, he had the time to remember they were spending the night at the home of Beorn, the skin-changer.

"Valar keep you," a voice grumbled beside him.

Kili peered down through watering eyes, to see he'd woken Gwen, a few yards away from him. She was dragging herself up from her bedroll, looking a bit miffed. "Are you maybe a bit allergic, Master Dwarf?"

Kili sniffled, rubbing his eyes dry. "No. Nasty straw stuck itself in my nose while I was sleeping."

Gwen snorted, sweeping wayward strands of hair off of her face with one hand. "How malicious."

"How about you shut up?" Another voice growled.

Kili looked down to his other side to see that Fili, too had woken.

"G'morning," Kili mumbled.

"Is it?" Fili snapped back, hand thrown back to cover his eyes. "Because it's seeming too bloody early for me."

"Aye, well, the sun's long up," Gwen called to him. "And your brother's the one who woke me up, so you get to suffer with me."

"I have suffered for seventy-seven years of my life, woman," Fili grumbled, rolling over. "I think it's about time for someone else to take that burden."

"Why _me?"_ Gwen whined, flopping back down onto her bedroll.

Fili shrugged. "He's gotten attached to you."

" _He's_ also sitting right here," Kili pointed out. "And he doesn't think he's that much of a burden."

Gwen snorted. "He would think that, wouldn't he?"

"Always has," Fili added sagely.

"I don't like it when you two team up against me," Kili huffed.

"Maybe you should have thought off that before you went and sneezed us all awake," Gwen said, amusement tingeing her voice.

"Ah, good you're awake!"

Kili looked up to see Gandalf, dressed, smiling down at them.

"Don't make me get up!" Gwen cried out to the wizard, pulling her cloak up to her chin. "I haven't been this warm and comfortable in _forever."_

"I agree with the lass," Fili said.

Kili merely shrugged.

"This may be, my dear friends, but the time has come for us to introduce ourselves to our host."

Gwen huffed in irritation, sitting up and throwing her blankets off. "I'll need another year of sleep in me before I'm ready for that."

"I'm inclined to agree. However, a year is much larger a portion of time than what we have. We gather in the back barn in ten minutes," Gandalf announced. "I highly recommend you three be there on time." With that, he was gone, likely to wake more sleeping dwarves.

Gwen flopped right back down, as soon as he was out of sight. "Bloody wizards."

"You heard him," Kili reminded her, as well as his brother. "Ten minutes."

* * *

It was twenty before all the dwarves were actually all together in the back barn.

"I say we should leg it," Nori asserted. "Slip out the back way."

There was a slight hum of agreement, before Dwalin cut it off, confronting Nori. "I'm not running from anyone, beast or no."

Nori opened his mouth to protest but Gandalf beat him to it. "There is no point in arguing. We cannot pass through the wilderland without Beorn's _help_." He sent a look over the dwarves, as the sound of Beorn, chopping wood in the courtyard rang through the air. "We'll be hunted down before we even get to the forest." He moved a bit towards the door, seeming to be thinking. "Bilbo, will you, ah...no."

The hobbit frowned from next to Kili.

"This will require some delicate handling," Gandalf continued. "We must tread very carefully. The last person to have startled him was torn to shreds." He gave that a moment to settle in, and Kili felt the sinking dread in his gut grow heavier. "I will go first. Gwen?"

She lifted up a hand from the spot where she sat.

"Ah, yes, you might help. You'll come with me."

Gwen nodded, hauling herself on her feet, balancing most of her weight to her non-injured foot. "I can't walk quite right though."

"I'll help you along," Gandalf explained hurriedly, steadying her at the elbow as she limped to his side. "May prove useful in making you seem less of a threat, actually. Now, the rest of you," he said, turning to address those still in the barn. "You just wait here, and _don't_ come out until I give the signal."

"Right," Bofur confirmed, already perched in the high window. "Wait for the signal."

"And no sudden moves, or loud noises, and _don't_ overcrowd him," Gandalf instructed. " _Only_ come out in pairs." He made for the door, then turned back to Bombur, who had just bit into a carrot. "You count as two, so you should come out alone."

The dwarf nodded in understanding.

"Remember, wait for the signal!"

With that, the wizard was gone, helping Gwen limp along at his side.

"You don't think they'll-" Kili was cut off by Bofur.

"What signal would that be?"

Murmurs of confusion broke out, and Bilbo began fretting. "Oh, well I-We don't know the signal! We don't know the blasted signal!"

Before Kili could stop him, he'd pushed through the dwarves, out into the courtyard with Gwen and Gandalf. Kili swore. Now they'd gone and lost their hobbit, as well as Gwen and their wizard! What if this skin-changer decided he was hungry, and swallowed them right down? The whole mission would be compromised! Bilbo didn't return, and Kili couldn't risk looking around the corner, lest Beorn see him, so he was forced to trust Bofur's less than clear narrations.

"Bilbo's...ah, he's hiding behind Gandalf I think." The dwarf suddenly gasped, pressing his face up against the glass of the window. "Gwen's tripped!"

Kili's heart dropped. Tripped? Was she injured even more?

"Oh," the dwarf suddenly sighed. "It was just a bit of a stumble. I think she's alright." After another moment, the dwarf showed massive signs of alarm again. "My beard! He nearly axed Gandalf through the skull!"

"He's attacking them?" Thorin growled.

"Maybe?"

Kili's hand tightened on his sword, and Dwalin hoisted up his axe, roaring. "Maybe? I think it'd be obvious if he was bloody axing them in the brain!"

"Actually..." Bofur hedged. "He's ignoring them I think."

A collective breath of relief was sighed out.

"Tell us that next time," Thorin ordered, irritation clear in his voice.

"He's turned about!" Bofur cried out. "He looks just like a bear!"

Ori gasped in horror, while Fili frowned. " _Is_ he a bear?"

"No, no, no, he's a man...I think."

Dwalin growled. "How about you start becoming a bit more sure of things?"

"Well, I'm sorry I can't see everything!" Bofur huffed, turning in his spot to glare down at the bald dwarf.

"Why're you even up there if you can't see?" Gloin called.

Oin's eyes widened in shock, as he held his crumpled hearing trumpet up to his ear. "The lad's gone blind?"

"I can see better than the lot of you!' Bofur shot back down to Gloin.

"We just sent you up there 'cuz you're the most nimble," Nori grumbled.

"Nimble?" Bofur gasped in horror. "Makes me sound like a woodland pixie!"

"Maybe ya _are_ a woodland pixie," Dwalin snorted.

There was laughter, and sounds of agreement from the other dwarves.

"If anyone's the pixie here, it'd be Ori," Bofur corrected, tipping up his nose at them.

"I am _not_ a pixie," the young dwarf announced in a calm voice. "Pixies are much smaller than any dwarf."

Nori groaned. "You still think pixies are _real?"_

"Of course they're real!" Ori gasped, seeming affronted.

"Shut up, _all of you!"_ Thorin called, voice piercing through the hum of the dwarves. "Bofur, for Durin's sake, _focus."_

"Right, right, right."

"We leave our weapons by the door. If he shows aggression, come back to get them," Thorin ordered.

Annoyed grumbling broke out through the barn, but the dwarves did as they were told, shedding the weapons off of them. Kili had only just dropped his sword-belt when Bofur suddenly called back, "There it is, go, go!"

Balin and Dwalin hurried out the doors.

"Oh, he doesn't look happy," Bofur fretted. "He's got his axe back up!"

"Is he going to attack?" Thorin asked.

"Well, how should I know? I'm not some sort of mind reader."

"Is he baring his teeth?" Fili offered. "Charging towards them? Chopping off Gandalf's head?"

"Go, go!" Bofur called out again, and Oin and Gloin rushed through the doors.

"Do you call _seven_ a troop?" Beorn's voice boomed into audibility, and Kili winced. He did not sound happy in the least. "What are you, a travelling circus?"

"Go!" Bofur suddenly commanded.

Had Gandalf lost it? That seemed like an awful time to send out more dwarves! Nevertheless, Dori and Ori filed out.

Kili could hear Beorn breathe a growl as the two new dwarves introduced themselves. "I don't want your _service,"_ he snapped at them.

"Go!" Bofur commanded again, with a wave of his hand, and suddenly, Kili and his brother were being ushered into the courtyard.

Mahal, Beorn was _massive._ At least twice the size of any dwarf, and looking entirely unhappy. This could not possibly end well. Kili fell into line with the others, able now to see Gandalf's slightly shaking silhouette, Gwen clinging to his elbow, Bilbo wringing his hands and shifting from foot to foot on the other side. No wonder Beorn didn't think highly of them so far. They looked bloody ridiculous!

"Ah," sighed Gandalf, chuckling bemusedly. "Fili and Kili, I had quite forgotten."

Only half a moment later, there was a bit of a crashing sound, and all the dwarves except Thorin stumbled out the door.

"Is that it?" Beorn growled, his eyes glazing over the line of dwarves. "Are there any more?"

Taking that as his cue, Thorin stepped out of the barn, into view of Beorn.

"And that would be the last dwarf here, the leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield," Gandalf explain.

Beorn lifted his chin, inspecting Thorin carefully. "The leader?" He turned back to Gandalf. "Are you not the leader?"

"No, no, no," Gandalf chuckled. "I'm just...they're guide, I suppose."

"What do you want from me, then?" Beorn asked.

"You see," Gandalf began. "We're on a journey. We must reach the Lonely Mountain before the winter comes. Before autumn ends, in fact. However, as I was beginning to explain, we ran into a bit of trouble, not long ago."

"Trouble?" That seemed to have sparked the massive man's interest.

"Goblins, like I had said, but once we got out of those, we discovered an orc pack, lead by Azog the Defiler, was hunting us down. They've followed us from the mountains, we believe."

Recognition had flashed across Beorn's face at the mention of the pale orc, and there was tense silence for what felt like a full minute, before he spoke. "Go back inside. I will bring food. We have much to discuss."

There was an almost audible sigh of relief from the dwarves. Beorn wasn't kicking them out. Or killing them. They were doing rather well so far, all things considered. Beorn sat his axe down, before stalking away. As soon as the man was out of sight, Kili turned to his brother, grinning. "We didn't die!"

Fili shrugged. "Not yet, anyway."

"I _told_ you to wait for the signal!" Gandalf admonished, turning around to face the dwarves, dragging Gwen with him.

"We did!" Bofur sputtered.

"You never told us what the signal _was,_ Gandalf," Bilbo quietly pointed out.

The wizard looked a bit taken aback upon hearing that, his brow furrowing. "Well...I suppose I did forget that, didn't I?"

"Yes," Thorin growled, clearly a bit irritated at the scatterbrained wizard.

Gandalf chuckled heartily. "Good thing it worked out anyway, then!" Thorin looked like he might have protested, but Gandalf continued. "Now, let us continue this inside. I think we're all deserving of a good breakfast."

Gandalf made his way for the barn, and Gwen detached herself from his arm, limping over to Fili and Kili. "That could have gone better."

"Could have gone worse," Kili shot back. "How's the ankle?"

"Painful," she shrugged. "That's to be expected of a twisted ankle, though."

"I had the _worst_ sprained ankle once," Fili began as Kili pulled Gwen's arm over his shoulders and wrapped an arm around her waist, helping her hobble towards the barn. "I was only thirty-eight, but I swear, it was one of the most painful things I ever experienced."

Kili rolled his eyes, blocking his brother's voice out. He'd heard this story at least twenty times before, and it still wasn't getting any more interesting. When they were back in Beorn's house, they found it bursting with life. Goats and sheep wandered about, 'baa'-ing occasionally. Massive bees, at least half the size of Kili's fist buzzed around the room, occasionally being shooed away by dwarves. In the straw strewn over the ground, little rats and mice could be seen, scurrying about. It was as if the whole building was alive.

They'd just ascended the stairs to the largest table in the room, when Beorn came back inside, carrying a sack in one hand, and two large wooden pitchers in the other. He hardly acknowledged their presence, setting the pitchers down on a side counter, empting the sack onto the middle of the table. A few loaves of bread, some jars, and small cloth bundles spilled out. Kili's curiosity was drawn. Those jars looked suspiciously like they were full of honey. "Sit down," Beorn's voice rumbled out, as he reached into a high cupboard.

Kili eyed up the benches around the table. They were easily at the height of his chest, but only came up to Gwen's waist, so she slipped herself out of Kili's grasp, smoothly hoisting herself up onto the end of the seat. He hmmphed slightly. Bloody tall humans. "Need some help, Master Dwarf?"

He shot a glare up at the girl. "Not in the least."

It took a bit of effort, but Kili was eventually able to haul himself up onto the seat in between Gwen and his brother.

Gwen snorted. "Very graceful."

He elbowed her in the ribs. "At least I'm not as tall as a bloody oliphant."

She laughed. "I doubt you've ever even seen one."

Kili raised a brow. "And you have?"

"Aye, hundreds," she confirmed.

"You're joking," Fili deadpanned, joining in on the conversation.

"Am not," she shot back. "I grew up only a few miles from the Sea of Rûhn. Mûmakils are not too unusual of a thing to see."

Kili whistled, a bit in awe. "Are they really as big as it's said?"

Gwen nodded. "They're massive. Imagine-"

She went silent as Beorn neared them, setting mugs about as large as Kili's skull on the table before them. His eyes flicked from them, to the pile of food on the table. "Are you not hungry?"

"We're famished!" Bofur answered back brightly.

"Are you stupid?" Beorn growled, setting out more mugs. "Eat!"

They required no further information, and the dwarves around the table dove for the food. It felt wonderful to taste something sweet again. He'd always had a bit of a sweet tooth, to his mum's despair, so this food was brilliant. The bread was fresh baked, and hearty, the honey fresh, jam bursting with sweetness, butter recently churned. He could get used to eating like this. Beorn had started at the other end of the table, filling the empty mugs on the table with milk from the two pitchers he'd brought in. Kili was taking a long gulp from his tankard, when Beorn spoke to Thorin, leaning against a wall, instead of sitting with the rest of them. "So, you are the one they call Oakenshield," he began. "Tell me, why is Azog the Defiler hunting you?"

"You know of Azog," Thorin said quite simply, ignoring Beorn's question. "How?"

"My people were the first to live in the mountains," Beorn explained. "Before the orcs came down from the North. The Defiler killed most of my family. But some he enslaved." Kili took sudden note of the worn shackle, still on the skin-changers wrist, and winced a bit. That looked heavy. He could see the man's skin was scarred underneath the iron. "Not for _work,_ you understand, but for sport. Caging skin-changers and torturing them seemed to amuse him." He fell silent, pouring milk for Ori.

"There are others like you?" Bilbo asked, curiosity clear in his tone.

"Once there were many."

"And...And now?" Bilbo pressed.

"Now there is only one."

That settled heavily on the room. Kili felt sympathy tug at his heart. No family...that was...unimaginable.

"You need to reach the mountain before the last days of autumn," Beorn stated, seating himself on a massive, intricately carved wooden seat in the corner.

"Before Durin's day falls," Gandalf confirmed, nodding. "Yes."

"You are running out of time," Beorn observed.

"Which is why we must go through Mirkwood," Gandalf explained, before taking a long drag from his pipe.

"A darkness lies upon that forest," Beorn said, urgency touching his tone. "Foul things creep beneath those trees. There is an alliance between the orcs of Moria and the Necromancer in Dol Guldur. I would not venture there except in great need."

"We will take the elven road," Gandalf explained, though nervousness may have begun to tinge his voice. Mahal, if Gandalf was nervous, they were all doomed to death. "Their path is still safe."

"Safe?" Beorn repeated. "The wood elves are not like their kin. They are less wise, and more dangerous." Well, that certainly matched what Kili had heard from his uncle. Then again, his uncle disliked any elves, especially those of Mirkwood. "But it matters not," Beorn added.

This got Thorin's attention. He turned to face the skin-changer. "What do you mean?"

"These lands are crawling with orcs. Their numbers are growing, and you are on foot. You will never reach the forest alive."

Irritation spread clear across Thorin's features, and he might have spoken if Beorn hadn't stood, looming tall over them. "I don't like dwarves. They're greedy. And _blind,_ blind to the lives of those they deem lesser than their own." He reached onto the table, plucking up a mouse that had been picking up crumbs. His massive hands held it with an incredible, almost reverent gentleness. There was a long pause as he stared at the little mouse, before looking down to Thorin. "But orcs, I hate more. What do you need?"

* * *

It was soon decided that they would be spending the remainder of the day at Beorn's house, then setting out early the next morning. It was nearly noon by the time Beorn had agreed to help them, and the journey over to the outskirts of Mirkwood would easily be half a day's ride. That would have them starting in on the forest when the sun was already set, which wouldn't do any good. So, the rest of the day was to be spent resting, recovering, and preparing for the rest of their journey. This would likely be their last extended, comfortable stay before they reached Erebor. For Kili, this meant relaxing back against a tree as he watched Fili try to teach Gwen how to throw a knife.

"Loosen your fingers."

"They are loose."

"Not loose enough."

"If I loosen my fingers any more, I'll drop the knife."

"No you won't."

"Fine."

The throwing dagger hit the ground with a thud. Fili sighed heavily, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Mahal, Gwen, I didn't tell you to drop it on the ground."

"Yes you did," she sighed, stooping to pick the knife back up. "You said to loosen my fingers."

"Just..." Fili sighed again, then turned to Kili, who was trying not to laugh. "Brother, make her stop being incompetent."

"If anyone's incompetent, it's you," Gwen huffed.

Somewhat reluctantly, Kili dragged himself up to his feet. "The two of you have the maturity of twenty year olds."

Fili rolled his eyes, punching Kili in the arm, while Gwen stuck her tongue out at him, only proving his point. "Why are you so determined to teach her, anyway?" Kili yawned. "She couldn't throw anything true if her life depended on it."

"Oh, shut up," Gwen scoffed with a roll of her eyes. "You're exaggerating now."

"Alright." Kili scoured the ground for a moment, before plucking a shiny little acorn off the ground. "Throw this."

"At Bilbo," Fili added, pointing to the hobbit, who was sitting quite peaceably in the shade beside one of the larger trees.

Gwen turned to see him, then frowned. "Why would I throw something at Bilbo?"

"You're saying you can't do it?" Fili asked.

"No, I just..."

Kili held out the acorn as she fell silent, and she huffed, shooting him a glare, but swiping the acorn out of his hand nonetheless. She took a moment to aim, before lobbing it at the unassuming hobbit. It soared through the air fairly neatly, to Kili's amazement, hitting its mark only a few inches above Bilbo's head. It flew into the bark of the tree, bouncing to drop onto Bilbo's head. "See?" Gwen cried, turning on Fili. "I'm not incompetent!"

"You missed," Fili scoffed.

"It hit him, didn't it?"

"Dumb luck," Fili dismissed.

Kili watched, amused, the startled hobbit. He jolted as soon as the acorn hit his head, looking around frantically for the source. It didn't seem he noticed Fili, Kili and Gwen, as he just shook his head, scooping the acorn up into his hand. After a moment of inspecting it, he slipped it into one of his pockets, a strange sort of half smile on his lips. Kili shook his head, turning to where his brother was once again adjusting Gwen's grip on a throwing knife. He'd never understand hobbits.

* * *

To the surprise of everyone present, Gwen was actually hitting the very outside of the target after an hour of practice. However, once they'd gotten to two hours, she'd excused herself, complaining of a cramping wrist. In Gwen's absence, Kili and Fili had ended up having a bit of a contest, Kili's bow against Fili's throwing daggers. Kili was _certainly_ winning, but was forced to set his bow down and go to Oin, who'd called him over. "Aye?"

"Where'd the lass go?"

"I'm not sure," Kili answered quite honestly. He thought he remembered seeing her go up towards the house, but couldn't be quite sure.

"What's that?" Oin pressed, angling his still somewhat crushed hearing trumpet more towards Kili.

"I don't know," Kili repeated, raising his voice a little.

"Well, go find her then," Oin ordered him with a wave of his hand. "I've got to check her ankle."

Kili sighed, but left to do as he was told. Knowing Gwen, she could be anywhere...He made his way back up to the house, but saw no signs of her in the courtyard, even when he circled the house. She'd have to be inside then. He used the back barn they'd been in earlier to get inside. It was mostly quiet, save the bees and goats, and Kili's footsteps were muffled by the layer of straw on the ground. As he wandered a few yards in, voices suddenly caught his ears. That sounded like Gwen. But she was speaking low, as if she didn't want to be heard. Kili froze. Where was that coming from?

He looked around for a moment, until he noticed a flicker of movement. There was a door on the wall, one he hadn't noticed before, cracked partially open. He crept a bit closer, his ears straining. The low growl of Beorn's voice came through as well. Once close enough, he squinted through the open space. The light in the room was fairly low, but he was able to make out the shape of Gwen, sitting on a chest in the corner of the room, while Beorn was seated on the edge of the large bed in the center of the room. "I _know_ it's not necessarily wise," Gwen hissed, staring at her hands in her lap. "But I was alone, and I knew there were warg packs about."

"I will not question your choices," Beorn sighed after a moment. "Only wonder why you would not have chosen any company outside of dwarves."

Now it was Gwen's turn to hesitate. "They're...they're not all too bad..."

"Not now," Beorn corrected her. He inspected her for a long moment. "You know, you will never find true happiness in a lie."

A lie?

Gwen chuckled bitterly, humorlessly, looking Beorn in the eye. "The truth's never really gotten me anywhere, though."

Beorn growled in annoyance. "I will not argue over technicalities, girl. I only tell you the truth I know."

"Aye," Gwen sighed. "You're right. I know you are. But...I'm very fond of this lie, you know?"

Kili forced himself to stumble away from the door, to block out what they said next. That conversation was not meant for his ears. But still, what were they talking about? What lie? Gwen was lying? Part of his mind that he was quickly growing to hate summoned up the image of the ears that Gwen most certainly _didn't_ have. He raised a hand to his forehead. Mahal, he didn't feel well. A little dizzy, too hot. Maybe he was getting sick. That still wouldn't explain Gwen's lie.

The sunlight hit him far too glaring bright, and he staggered blindly through the courtyard, thoughts a whirlwind in his head. What did Beorn know that he didn't? What was Gwen keeping from them? What was the lie?

His feet brought him to the little creek at the bottom of the property, and more images flashed, unbidden, through his mind. This time, they were from one of his dreams. Gwen, a smile on her face, copper and gold threaded through her hair and flashing in the afternoon sun, droplets of water sliding over her cheeks, voice ringing around him. Kili shook his head, trying to clear it, as he fell into a sitting position on the banks of this little creek.

 _Kiss her._

Mahal, he didn't need another voice in his head. That was the one from his dream. The one that had given him the sudden, ridiculous urge to kiss Gwen.

Another voice whispered to him about her lie. The secret she held.

Yet another one told him he already knew her secret.

"Kili?"

Kili winced, squeezing his eyes shut tight. The last thing he needed was another voice.

A hand rested on his shoulder, that voice coming a little louder. "Durin's beard, Kee, what's wrong?"

Kili forced his eyelids open, to see his brother kneeling in front of him, concern writ over his features. The dwarf's voice rang through his thoughts. What was wrong with him? Kili shook his head numbly, raising a hand to drag it over his slightly sweaty forehead. "I need a drink."

* * *

Once the sun had set, and the dark sky filled with stars, the thrum of night filling the air, Kili had gotten his drink. Or maybe two. Or five. He'd lost count at six. Beorn had disappeared upon serving them dinner, and Kili certainly wasn't the only one drunk on the warm honeyed mead that had been served to them.

The drink had set a nice buzz in his gut, not angry, like that of bees or hornets, but...friendlier. This buzz blurred out the shapes around him a bit, turning the colors more rich and vibrant. Mahal, he was drunk. So drunk. It was brilliant. Nothing like getting absolutely smashed when all the happenings of the world just became too much for you to deal with sober. Kili grinned down into the golden liquid in the bottom of his massively oversized wooden tankard. He chuckled, before taking another faintly burning gulp. Everything was huge in Beorn's house. It wasn't often that he felt small, and even less often that he wasn't offended by the prospect of feeling small, but he mostly just found this whole situation amusing. What was Beorn even so tall for? Reaching his cupboards, most likely.

Kili settled his chin atop his mug, gazing around the room. All the best people were there. Except..."Where's Gwen?"

No reply came, and Kili startled a bit, as he realized that no one was near him to be hearing him. That would explain a lot. He spotted Fili across the table, so decided to call to him. "Fili?" The dwarf remained engrossed in his conversation with Bofur. Stupid Bofur. "Oi, blondie!" Nothing. "Fiiiiili! Brother?" When Fili continued to ignore him, Kili growled slightly in annoyance, plucking up a stray walnut from the table, and lobbing it at his brother's head.

It hit him straight in the temple. He was amazing. He'd hit Fili with a bloody _walnut_ half a mile away, dead drunk. Gwen couldn't do that sober, from four feet away. Gwen...

"Mahal, Kili, what do you want?" Fili snapped, gathering Kili's attention back.

"Your attention."

Fili raised an eyebrow. "You're drunk."

"And you're Fili," Kili shot back. "Nice to meet you."

He only shook his head, in what might have been disbelief. "What's that you wanted me for?"

"Ah!" Kili breathed. "Where's..." Who had he been looking for? "Mum?" That wasn't right. "No, no. Don't tell me that." He raised a hand to pull at his hair, trying to organize his thoughts. He liked being drunk, but this was definitely a bit of a drawback. "Where..."

"You're going to have to be a little more specific, Kee."

Kili shot him a glare. "Can it, blondie. Where is she?"

"Gwen, perhaps?" Fili suggested, ignoring the 'blondie' comment.

Kili snapped his fingers, grinning. "Gwen! That's right! She's brilliant."

"Aye, she is." Fili's tone was dismissive. Kili frowned. Didn't he get it? She was _brilliant_.

"I think I saw her leave for the courtyard a bit ago," Bofur dropped in.

Kili nodded happily. "I'll be going then."

"Alright." Before Kili could leave, Fili spoke again. "You do know that you're drunk though, aye?"

Kili shot him a dry look. "I should think I've made that more than obvious by now."

Fili sighed. "Just don't be a fool."

" _You_ don't be a fool," Kili muttered, before turning himself around on his bench, sliding off the edge.

He hit the floor without even stumbling in the least. Mahal, he was good at being drunk. Practice made perfect, he supposed, as he sauntered out the back barn. The air outside was cool and clear, though it did little to knock the fog out of his mind. The moon was nowhere to be seen, leaving the sky thick with webs of frosty stars. Quite pretty.

"Master Dwarf?"

He turned on his heel, only to see Gwen propped against the outside wall, the starlight glowing off her pale skin, and pooling in her dark eyes in a way that left her looking less human than ever. She was more pretty than the sky, he decided. The sky, he would eventually grow weary of. While her eyes, with their ever shifting range of emotions, and secrets, could hold his attention for a lifetime. Or two.

Her expression seemed a bit confused, but he found himself grinning as he staggered his way over to her. "There you are."

"Were you looking for me?" she asked, a bit bemusedly, as he sat himself down against the wall, right next to her.

He nodded, leaning over to press his side into her half-bare arms. She always got cold, and the air was a bit breezy. He couldn't have her getting ill or anything.

"You're drunk."

Kili rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Gwen, I'd hardly noticed."

Her elbow jabbed into his side. "Don't give me that attitude."

"You always do," he shot back.

"You deserve it, usually."

"All I ever do is call you pretty," Kili sighed. "Which you are, by the way."

A blush lit up her cheeks, stark against the porcelain pale of her face, and Kili didn't let her refute him. "Like now. When you're all red in the face, lit up by the starlight as you are, you're beautiful."

She fell silent, just staring down at him, and Kili swallowed hard. As the wind rose up a bit, sweeping a lock of her hair over to brush against the high planes of her cheeks, her eyes glinted and flashed with a hundred indiscernible emotions, and a voice rose in his head. Kili found himself shifting, bringing his face closer to Gwen's, almost without thinking. The endless depths of her eyes seemed to be dragging him irresistibly in, like the tides of the sea. For once, he allowed himself to listen to that voice, whispering in his ear, murmuring out loud, "Gwen, I think I'd like to kiss you."

Her eyes went wide, her lips, so temptingly close to his, parted as her breath left her. He watched her swallow hard, nearly trembling himself, before she breathed out, "Why aren't you?"

With the slightest tilt of his chin, his mouth was finally pressed against hers, and _sweet Mahal,_ it was a relief. Thinking back, he hardly remembered what it was like to kiss Gwen for the first time. It was reduced to the sudden surge of heat that shot through his veins, her cool fingers skimming over his skin, the way their noses and foreheads clashed terribly together, and the way that neither of them cared enough to fix it. They were both caught up in the flood of new sensations that bubbled in between them.

The heat in his veins looped and settled in his stomach, driving him to kiss her yet more fervently. He had waited far too long for this. Now, he couldn't get enough of the way she trembled and gasped at his every touch, the way the simplest brush of her fingers could drag entirely new, fascinating reactions out of him.

It wasn't like this was his first time kissing a lass. And he could hypothesize that this wasn't her first kiss either. But there was something entirely different about kissing Gwen. Her lips were rough, maybe a bit chapped, but had an impossible underlying softness. She was just as passionate as him, instead of the resigned shyness of most girls. He could tilt his head and scrape his teeth against her lower lip and she'd just twitch slightly, her short fingernails scraping along his scalp, before she playfully nipped him back. Her body wasn't soft and full like others he had encountered. Instead, it was wrought with muscles that he could feel flexing and spasming under him in a way that was entirely maddening.

He shivered at the sudden feeling of icy night air filling the gap where her mouth had once been crushed against his, as she jerked away from him. Her hand left his collar to snatch the wrist of his hand that had just begun to weave itself into her hair, right at her temple. When his eyes opened, he found Gwen under him, her cheeks flushed with heat, lips parted slightly, breaths ragged, eyes glinting. Hardly thinking, he leaned down, trying to draw her into another searing kiss, but she turned her head aside, shifting her body out from under his. "Kili..."

"Gwen, why..." his tone was laced with disappointment as he fell, feeling a bit boneless and mushy, into the wall. His head still buzzed with excitement, blood burning in his veins. What was going on?

She shook her head, not meeting him in the eye as she caught her breath. "You're drunk."

"Why'd you stop?"

"Because, you're _drunk,"_ she insisted, hugging her arms over her chest, closing herself off from him a bit more.

"I know, Gwen, I'm not daft," he chuckled, thoroughly confused as to why this was suddenly becoming a problem.

"Then you should know that you don't mean anything you've said or done tonight, and to carry on as we were, to keep leading me on, is one of the worst things to do in this situation," she shot back, tone seeming to be straining to keep from shouting.

Kili sighed heavily, any anger or passion leaving his system. Mahal, she was upset. Why'd she have to go and get upset, just when everything had finally turned perfect? "I don't do things I don't mean." She shook her head, opening her mouth to protest, but Kili cut her off. "So I meant to kiss you."

"You're not thinking straight-"

"Then I haven't been thinking straight for the past bloody fortnight, because I've been wanting to kiss you like that for _far_ too long!"

Alarm flashed through Gwen's eyes, and she fell silent. She looked almost...scared. Ah, perhaps he shouldn't have said that. He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face, and slumping into the wall. "I've really screwed this up, haven't I?"

There was no answer. Kili opened his eyes to look up at Gwen. She had her knees hugged to her chest, staring at the ground before her. He swallowed hard. Mahal, she was so beautiful. Too perfect to be real. She seemed far too out of reach. Out of his reach, anyway. She would really be the death of him. His heart yanked painfully in his chest as he watched her, and heat pushed hard behind his eyes.

He loved her, didn't he? What a mess this had become.

"I wish I was brave enough to tell you I loved you."

Her eyes flicked over to his, and after a moment, she chuckled humorlessly, burying her face away into her knees as she spoke, her voice trembling. "And I wish I was brave enough to say I didn't."

* * *

 _ **That was fun. Right? Don't drink, kids. You'll end up doing stupid stuff like Kili. This chapter took me an eternity to write. There were at least four rewrites on that last scene. But, I think it was worth it. Review? Just tell me your favorite scene or line or anything? Thanks for reviews on the last chapter. You're all so very kind. Have a great week!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Into the Darkness**_


	12. Into the Darkness

_**All rights to Tolkien and Jackson. I own nothing.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER TWELVE**

INTO THE DARKNESS

Kili woke up feeling more rested than he ever had in his life. For the first time in what felt like forever, he hadn't been troubled by any sort of dreaming. The air was warm and quiet. The pile of hay underneath him was softer than any forest floor. His arm rose and fell gently as Gwen's breaths pulled long and slow through her lungs. He sighed happily, keeping his eyes squeezed shut and nuzzling further into the mass of Gwen's sweet smelling hair. Mahal, why'd he have to wake up?

Oh. Gwen. Was that her, pressed, sleeping, against him?

Any traces of sleepiness vanished as he jolted up into a sitting position, his eyelids snapping open. His head clouded and fogged immediately, as the blood rushed into his brain, a pounding throb taking up residence in his skull. Nausea rose in his throat as he reached up to clutch his splitting skull. That was a hangover if he ever felt one. A bloody nasty one too.

He forced his eyelids to open, and in the light straining through the rafters, he found Gwen, fast asleep, curled up in the hay right next to him. So it was her. Dread flooded him. He couldn't remember a thing about the previous night, no matter how much he scrounged his memory. How, in Durin's sacred name had he ended up falling asleep holding her?

A groan forced its way out of his throat, as he squeezed his eyes back shut. All this thinking was bloody _painful._ They both had their clothes on. That was some slight assurance. Only slight, though. "M'never drinking again," he mumbled to himself.

"We both know that's a lie, Master Dwarf."

Kili jumped half a foot in the air as the muddled voice cut through the silence, and he once again opened his eyes, forcing his blurred vision to focus, despite the pressure squeezing in on his skull. The voice had been Gwen, to his horror, who had woken up and was looking up at him sleepily, still lying on her back. Kili's dry tongue couldn't find anything to say as Gwen watched him. She lifted a brow. "You look terrible."

"Thanks," Kili muttered back, not having the energy to come up with a better comeback. He was on the verge of either vomiting up everything he'd eaten in the past year, having his brains spew out his ears, or bursting into tears, because Mahal, he felt _awful._

He was drawn out of his pool of self pity by Gwen. "Here." He glanced up to see she was offering him a waterskin.

Kili gave her a grateful nod as he took it, fumbling to take the cork out without spilling the entire thing over himself. The water was cool against his parched tongue, running out of his mouth in rivulets down his chin. He swallowed heavily, forcing it down his dry throat. He shoved the cork back in and handed it back to Gwen, who'd managed to sit up, wiping the water off his face with the back of his hand. "Better?" Gwen asked as she set it aside.

"No."

"Didn't think so." She stared across at him, eyes flicking over his face, as he tried to piece his thoughts properly together. A frown marred her expression as she spoke. "You don't remember anything from last night, do you?"

Kili scratched his head, sighing. "Nothing after my fifth pint."

Her brow furrowed and her gaze went from his eyes to the floor. "Ah."

"Why? What'd I do?"

"Nothing important," Gwen chuckled, the darkness slipping out of her expression. "Made a fool out of yourself."

"Can't have been more than when you got hammered," Kili said.

"I was just tipsy," she huffed. "And at least I didn't get hung-over."

"I resent you for that, just a bit."

She smirked. "Don't be jealous."

"I bloody will be," Kili breathed, as he flopped back into the pile of hay, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. His skull was going to completely concave. Soon.

Cool fingers brushed over his forehead, combing back loose strands of hair from his brow. "Just drink plenty of water. Some tea might help. And some food, if you can stomach it."

Kili groaned, as his stomach churned in protest to the proposition. "I'm dying Gwen."

"We all are," she deadpanned, still smoothing his hair back in way that did no good to relieve his pain, but made him feel a little less awful in general. "You'll just have to deal with it, princess."

He frowned. "If anyone here's a princess, it's you."

"You're the one with royal blood."

Kili dropped his hands from his eyes to give her a withering glare. "I wish you'd stayed asleep."

She shrugged. "It was cold, without you."

For a reason he couldn't imagine, he felt his cheeks heat up. He brought his hands up to rub at his eyes as a way of hiding his blush from her. It was absurd, that that should have embarrassed him. Of course it was cold. "You're always cold."

"Not when I've got a dwarf-blanket wrapped up all around me," she corrected him. "Quite cozy, really."

"I believe an 'I told you so' is in order."

He reopened his eyes to see she'd raised a brow. "How so?"

If his skull wasn't splitting in half, he would have winked. "I'd been saying that was a good idea since day one."

She snorted, nudging his side with her foot. "Alright, Master Dwarf. How about you get up now? Don't want Thorin seeing you looking like this."

As much as he abhorred that proposition, Gwen had a point. Thorin would be furious if he saw Kili was near incapacitated on a day they were to be travelling hard. "I hate it when you're right."

"I know."

He dragged his hands down his face, glaring at the ceiling. "I don't want to move anymore." He sighed heavily. "I want to be back to when I was sleeping, and everything seemed good and holy."

"It's too late for that," Gwen snapped, her tone suddenly empty of humor. She corrected herself quickly, her voice light again. "Go on out to the creek, and you can clean yourself up a bit."

 _"Fine,"_ Kili growled, hauling his aching body into a sitting position. "You're awful."

"I know," she sighed, settling a hand on his shoulder. "Do you need help?"

He found his head tilting towards her hand, as her thumb kneaded circles into one of the aching muscles of his neck. "Don't know."

Her hand pulled away, trailing down his arm slightly. "I'll take that as a no."

He missed her touch, despite himself, but forced the feeling away, staggering up onto his feet, and making his way towards the door. The terrible sick feeling in his gut welled up in his throat, but he forced it down, clutching at his skull as he stumbled towards the outside world. Luckily, it seemed he had woken early, as he saw no other movement. This was good. He didn't need anyone seeing him all cozy with Gwen.

Just thinking that made a blush rise on his cheeks, and a curious feeling join the nausea in his stomach. Gwen wasn't the first girl he'd fallen asleep with. Certainly not. The ridiculous thing was that he hadn't even done anything actually intimate with her. Despite this, he blushed like a schoolgirl at the memory of her lean back pressed against him, the way her waist fit perfectly under his arm, the way their legs had tangled so naturally together...he shook his head, focusing instead, on the ground beneath his feet. He was being daft, thinking of Gwen in that way. It was bloody _Gwen._ She had the romantic appeal of a tree.

He ignored the fact that telling himself a lie of that magnitude forced him to his knees, dry-heaving in a bush.

After a bit of crawling, the dirt beneath his hands turned into gritty sand, and in another moment, cool water had washed over his fingertips. He scooped up a handful, splashing it over his face. He gasped at the cold of it, but immediately reached for another handful, gulping it down. The cold water managed to give his throbbing skull a bit of relief, soothed his scratchy throat, and take the stale, sticky taste of night-old alcohol from his mouth. He splashed his face a bit more, ignoring the way water was trickling down his neck, into his shirt, running in cold rivulets down his skin. He could practically feel a coating of sticky sweat over his skin, and grimaced. He glanced at the horizon. The sunlight was hardly streaming over the tree line.

Judging that he'd have enough time, Kili stripped his tunic off over his head. The cool morning air washed over his bare skin, and he let out a sigh. He really shouldn't have had quite so much to drink last night. Gwen hadn't mentioned him doing anything too bad, but with the way it seemed a hundred voices were whispering strange, ridiculous propositions in his ears, he should have been more careful.

He froze midway through rinsing off his upper body, as the word "love" suddenly filtered into his thoughts. Mahal, where had that come from? And when he was thinking about Gwen...

Love was reserved for his brother, his mother, and Thorin. So why couldn't he get that damned image of Gwen's smile out of his head? More memories bombarded him. Her talk with Beorn that he'd over-heard. Her, hanging corpse-like from the pudgy fingers of the Goblin king. Her slender, pointed ears. The look of terror on her face as they were torn apart in the storm. Every time his fingers had woven into hers, easy as breathing. The way she fit, so perfectly, into his arms. His lips, a tempting few centimeters away from hers. Her, her, _her!_

He was getting bloody sick of the thought of Gwen. But at the same time, he never wanted to stop thinking about her. This was ridiculous...mad. He was going mad. Absolutely, bloody mad. The thoughts whirring through his head reached an unbearable pitch, and frantic for some relief, he plunged his entire head into the creek.

Water forced its way up his nose, sand filling his mouth, dirt stinging at his squinted eyes, but the icy water knocked some of the throbbing nonsense from his head. The world had gone silent, save the roar of water in his ears, and he only pulled his head back out when he was forced to by his lungs. The cool air pulling into his lungs seemed fresher, clearing more of the fog from his thoughts.

"Kili? Are you quite alright?"

That quiet voice was unmistakably identifiable as Ori. Kili smoothed the now drenched hair back from his brow, before looking back over his shoulder. It was indeed, Ori, wringing his hands in his scarf. "Aye," Kili answered, though his voice was hoarse.

Ori's frown only deepened. "Really? You're looking sickly."

"Hangover," Kili mumbled, turning so he was facing away from the water.

Realization dawned across the young dwarf's face. "Oh, I did see you last night..."

"Was Gwen right in saying I made a fool of myself?"

Ori blushed faintly, and seemed to be stifling a smile. "I don't know about a _fool..."_

Kili rolled his eyes. "What did you want, then?"

"Just thought you were drowning."

"I'm not," Kili reminded him, shaking his shirt clear of dust and hay, letting the breeze dry his body off.

"I noticed," Ori mumbled back. "But, the others are starting to wake too. I think Fili was wondering where you'd gone off to."

He sighed heavily, yanking his tunic back over his head as he stood. "I'll be back up there in a minute."

Once he had been left alone, Kili stared down at his hands. There was far too much going on in his mind, especially concerning Gwen. Maybe he just needed to spend some time away from her...The mere thought sent a hard yank of pain to his heart, and Kili quickly dismissed the idea. She'd only try and figure out what was wrong, which wouldn't do him any good. He sighed, starting up towards Beorn's house. It seemed he'd just have to sit this one out.

* * *

He had to admit, it was nice to finally have ponies to ride again. That wasn't to say that Kili particularly _enjoyed_ using ponies to get around. Certainly not. In fact, if you asked any of his companions, they would assure you that he was generally quite against the idea. But now, after so many weeks of travelling on foot, he was grateful to see the animals, flicking their tails, and whinnying in the shade of the grove they wandered. There were fourteen ponies, and two full sized horses, plenty enough for the whole company.

They all tied their gear, now stocked with food and supplies from Beorn, onto the ponies, before they all began to mount their horses. Gandalf and Beorn were missing, though Kili thought he might have caught a glimpse of them through the trees. He figured it best not to pry. One never could know, with a wizard. He swung himself easily up onto his pony, and though it tossed its head in protest as he took up the reigns, it seemed to be a peaceable enough creature. He wondered briefly, if it had a name. It sort of struck him as a Cloudy, with its shiny near-white mane, but Milky seemed to fit its personality a little better...

He was distracted from his thoughts, as a flash of movement caught his eye. It was Gwen, trying to hoist herself up onto her own steed, a sturdy-looking mare, with a shimmering dark coat. Though she didn't seem too clumsy, it was clear that her injured ankle was giving her trouble. Kili sighed, and started to get down from his pony to help her, when another dwarf reached her first. He could hardly believe his eyes as Dwalin silently offered her a hand. Gwen took it wordlessly, and in a moment, she'd been hoisted up onto her saddle, Dwalin steadying her with his free hand, before yanking his touch away. Gwen smiled softly down at him. "Much appreciated, Master Dwarf."

Dwalin only grunted, moving off to his own pony. Kili fought back a smile, as he flicked his reigns slightly, guiding his pony over to the one Fili had just gotten on. "Did you see that?"

"See what?"

"Dwalin just helped Gwen."

Fili's brow shot up, doubt lacing his tone. "You sure you're seeing straight?"

"Positive," Kili confirmed, grinning.

"Well, by Durin's lovely beard," Fili breathed, shaking his head, and watching Dwalin strap his belongings to his pony. "Even Dwalin's lost it."

"Gandalf," Thorin's voice suddenly cut out over the clearing. "Time is wasting."

"Now she just needs to break Thorin in," Kili mumbled.

Fili nodded in agreement. "She will, I think. I hope, anyway."

It seemed Gandalf was finishing up his conversation with Beorn, when another sound broke out over the treetops, this time the ragged cry of crows. Kili couldn't see anything, but he felt his pony twitch under him. Just as the crows faded, an even more chilling sound was heard. The howl of a warg. His horse stepped nervously, tossing its head a bit, and Kili absently patted its neck to calm it, trying to pinpoint the noise. It was a good distance off, but still far too close for Kili's taste.

Gandalf got up on his horse quickly, and as soon as Thorin gave the signal, they were off.

* * *

They ended up riding for most of the day. They'd ridden much harder than they ever had before, with the threat of a pack of orcs constantly on their heels. Despite their speed, Kili couldn't help but recall what it had been like back at the beginning of their journey. It all had seemed so new and bright back then. They had their burglar, their wizard, their dwarf king and they were going to go reclaim their home no matter the cost. It was different now, though Kili couldn't really pinpoint a specific change. Somewhere, reclaiming Erebor stopped becoming his biggest priority. Death was always just around the corner, waiting to take someone he loved. Voices whispered in his head, telling him a whole manner of things he loathed to hear. But still, he felt more fulfilled than he had, back then. It felt like he was really _going_ somewhere. Not in a physical sense, necessarily, but it felt like he was changing, growing because of the quest.

He shook his head, letting the swift wind carry all those absurd thoughts out of his head. One good thing about riding ponies was the fact that he could lose himself in it. He could ignore the voices crowding for his attention in his thoughts, in favor of watching the ground, and simply guiding his pony the next few yards.

At last, when the hour was growing past noon, the scrubby plains gave way to the looming edge of Mirkwood Forest. Kili felt a chill go down his spine as soon as he saw it, cut into the horizon. The trees seemed massive, and to somehow be glaring at him, while darkness gathered thick between the gnarled trunks. The dead, white branches reached out towards them, sharp and ugly. There was only one break in the tree line, a slight gap in the darkness, with a post of pale, carved wood on either side. Gandalf's horse slowed to a stop before it, and Kili pulled his pony to a halt, but didn't dismount, watching with curiosity as the elderly wizard slid from his horse, straightening himself out, then hobbling a bit closer to the gap in the trees. It seemed there were paving stones set into the ground, the once shining white stone coated in leaves and mud, and overgrown with tussocks of grass and moss. "Here lies our path through Mirkwood!"

Kili felt his skin crawl. A glance at his companions showed that they seemed to be made just as uncomfortable by the idea of entering the strange place. Gwen, in particular, seemed almost transfixed by the shadows, gripping tightly to her reigns and saddle-horn while her eyes stayed fixed to the trees.

"No sign of orcs," Dwalin reported, eyeing the 'path' critically, before swinging off of his horse. "We've luck on our side."

Gandalf didn't reply to this, in favor of turning back to the forest, calling, "Set the ponies loose! Let them return to their master."

Kili sighed. He wouldn't lie. He would miss Milky a bit. He was a good, stout pony. But he seemed just as unnerved by the forest as any of them. It would be torture, forcing him into that awful darkness.

"This forest feels..." Bilbo seemed to hesitate, already having gotten off of his horse, and coming a bit nearer to the trees. " _Sick."_ Kili could only agree."It's as if a disease lies upon it," the hobbit continued. "Is there no way around?"

"Not unless we go 200 miles north, or twice that distance...south," Gandalf replied, before his voice faded, as he disappeared further down the path.

Kili forced himself to swing down from his pony, stumbling a bit as his legs struggled to carry his weight. He grabbed onto Milky's saddle, and the horse whinnied slightly in protest, tossing its head. Kili patted its neck. "Oh, it's alright."

"Dwarves," Gwen's voice mused from behind him. "Clumsy as anything."

He turned to see her watching his companions dismount their ponies. Many of them stumbled, due to a nearly full day of hard riding, and Ori had collapsed completely, to Dori's dismay. Gwen was of course, standing quite gracefully aside her horse, absently combing through its mane. Kili snorted. "As if you didn't stumble a bit."

"If I did, I made sure no one saw."

"So you did?" Kili asked, a bit amused at the thought. He would have quite liked to see that. And laugh at it. Mahal, his mother would clout him about the head for such a breach in manners. But, his mother wasn't there.

"That's for me to know, and you to assume," she sighed back, moving to unhook her gear from the back of the saddle.

Kili did the same, trying not to groan at the weight of his pack as he lowered it to the ground. It had seemed a brilliant idea, taking along so much gear and food, but now, he was beginning to regret it. He unhooked his waterskin, taking a long, grateful drink.

"Be careful not to drink that too fast," Gwen said, her tone warning. "There's not much clean water to be had in there."

Taking her advice, Kili corked the skin. "Have you been in the forest before?"

Gwen nodded, but Kili couldn't see her face as she knelt by her pack. "Some time ago. Needless to say, I did not much enjoy it."

Kili looked up the trees, only seeming more hostile up close, and an involuntary shiver crawled up his back. "No, I'd imagine not."

Once his gear was clear off of his pony, Kili gave him one last good scratch behind the ear. "You're not bad, Milky. For a pony at least." Milky snickered at him, nudging his nose into Kili's arm. "Go on then." And just like that, the pony was gone, galloping across the field with its brothers.

"You named it?" Gwen asked, as her horse streaked off.

"Didn't you?"

"Perhaps," Gwen answered, keeping a perfectly straight face as she secured the straps on her pack. "But I _certainly_ didn't call mine _Milky_."

Kili frowned. "What's wrong with-"

"Not my horse, I need it!"

Kili looked up to see he had been interrupted by Gandalf, bursting from the trees, tone touched with urgency. They all froze as he bustled over to his horse, which had nearly taken off with the rest of its family. "You're not leaving us?" Bilbo asked, breaking the silence.

"I would not do this unless I had to," Gandalf sighed heavily, taking the reigns of his horse.

Suddenly, Gwen was gone from Kili's side and speaking somewhat quietly to Gandalf. "Mithrandir, you can't..."

"I regret this as much as you, my dear," Gandalf said, tilting his head slightly, as he settled a hand onto her shoulder. "But we both know there are some things in this world that take precedence above all else."

Kili was entirely confused, but it seemed Gwen understood well enough, as her shoulders slumped in defeat. "It aggravates me so when you're right."

Gandalf chuckled, then pulled her into a short embrace. As the wizard turned to Bilbo, Gwen made her way back to her pack at Kili's side, though she looked rather thoughtful, brow furrowed as she stared into the ground. "You all right?"

She looked up at his voice. "Oh, aye."

Kili grabbed onto her wrist, pulling her into his side for a moment-long hug. "We'll do alright without Gandalf."

He may have said that to somewhat assure himself. Gandalf had always been there to get them out of trouble before...what would happen without him leading them along?

A faint smile touched at Gwen's lips as his arm left her, and she nodded. "I know."

"Good!" Gandalf suddenly chuckled, drawing Kili's attention in to Gandalf, speaking to Bilbo. "Well, that's good! You'll need it." Kili had no idea what he was talking about, but caught on as Gandalf continued. "I'll be waiting for you at the overlook, before the slopes of Erebor. Keep the map and the key safe. Do not enter that mountain without me." The last part was directed at Thorin. "The lady Gwen will help you along, she's been in this forest before."

Gwen froze as all eyes suddenly turned to her. She pinned Gandalf with a look Kili couldn't quite translate, but gave the curious gaze of the others a curt nod.

"This is not the green wood of old." Gandalf explained, as he swung himself up onto his horse. "The very air in the forest is heavy with illusion. It will seek to enter your mind and lead you astray."

"Lead us astray?" Bilbo repeated, once again shifting from foot to foot as he was prone to do when nervous. "What does that mean?"

"You must stay on the path. Do not leave it. If you do, you will never find it again, even with someone who knows the forest." With that, he turned his horse around, giving it a tap on the side to get it going. "No matter what may come, stay on the path," He called over his shoulder, before he was gone from earshot.

Kili watched Gandalf's horse speed off, and felt his heart sink in his chest. For a reason he really didn't know, he sensed that Gandalf's absence would cause some sort or trouble. He sincerely hoped that he was just being overly suspicious.

"Come on," Thorin said, voice strong, determined. "We must reach the mountain before the sun sets on Durin's day!"

Kili shivered, as a gentle rain began to fall from the sky, a cold breeze flicking the droplets of water into his eyes. Summer was coming to a rapid end. Soon, autumn would arrive, and Durin's day would be closer than ever, with the Lonely Mountain further away than ever.

Thorin's words rang out harsh, but true. "We have only one chance to find the hidden door!"

Just one chance. And if they messed that up, the whole mission would have been a waste, and they would have to live out the rest of their days knowing they'd failed to retake their homeland. Kili didn't even flinch as he shouldered the dead weight of his pack, before following his uncle onto the path without hesitation. He wouldn't let that happen. The quest couldn't fail. Not after all they had been through.

As soon as he stepped foot onto the path, his iron resolve faltered slightly. The shadows seemed to loom all the higher, reaching out to him. It was as if the whole forest was heavy, the air thick and soupy dragging into his lungs.

"The path goes this way!" Thorin called, and Kili found himself turning sharply left.

The path they were on was overgrown with vines, half covered with leaves and dirt, and little more than broken paving stones laid out on the nest of snarled roots that made up the forest floor. It would be a miracle if they didn't lose this path at least once.

Movement at his side caught his eye and he turned just in time to grab onto the back of Gwen's pack, and keep her from falling face first onto the ground. With a yank, she was righted, and stumbled slightly, before regaining her footing. "Mahal," Kili chuckled. "This is the second time I've had to keep you on your feet."

Gwen rolled her eyes as her steps regularized, though she limped slightly. "I suppose it is."

"Funny, when I'm the one meant to be sweeping you _off_ your feet."

"You're an idiot."

Kili smirked. By now, he knew that her rather generic insult was essentially her white flag of surrender. He considered it a triumph.

* * *

Although they were exhausted, none of them really wanted to stop for the night. Whenever you stood still, the damp of the rain that had been falling steadily since that afternoon settled stickily onto your skin, the heavy air coiling tight in your lungs, making it feel a bit difficult to breathe. Everything in this forest started to look strange, if you stared at it long enough, the trees disturbingly gnarled, the mushrooms that grew practically everywhere taking on incredibly odd shapes. This could, of course be attributed partially to the fact that they were all dead exhausted.

The sun was already set when they stopped, so Thorin allowed them to build a small fire, enough to dry their clothes, chase the damp chill out of their bones, and warm up their dinner. Kili sat gratefully against one of the large trees on the outside of the little clearing they'd found, dropping his pack beside him. Everything hurt. He shed his damp cloak, setting it aside to hang up by the fire later. He'd have to use it as a blanket when he was sleeping. The rest of his clothing was a bit damp, but his muscles wouldn't allow for any more movement. Not until he'd gotten a bit of food in his stomach.

"I'll be back in a bit."

Kili nodded absently, rubbing at his eyes to try and clear his slightly unfocused vision. It was likely just tiredness mostly, but thus far, Kili was finding Mirkwood a rather miserable place to be alive.

"Where's Gwen?"

Kili frowned, looking up at the question. It seemed to be Fili who'd asked it, looking a bit worried.

"She said she'd be back in a bit."

Fili's worry turned to raised-brow surprise. "You let her go off on her own?"

Kili blinked. "I suppose I did. That was a daft thing to do." Despite his protesting muscles, he forced himself into a standing position. This twice-cursed forest was starting to mess with his thoughts... "I'll go get her."

Fili nodded, and Kili shook the fluff out of his head one more time, before setting off in the direction Gwen had left.

The whole forest seemed almost silent as he tromped through the underbrush. Like the darkness shrouding everything muffled every sound except the persistent dragging of the wind's fingers through leaves. It was almost unnerving. Suddenly, another sound broke through the silence. Through the trees and shadows, Kili caught a glimpse of faint moonlight, sliding trough the trees to fall, dappled, onto Gwen. She stood in the middle of this pool of light, her back facing him, folding her clothes from the day as she sang softly, perhaps a bit distractedly.

After only a few lines, it was made quite clear to Kili that she was not singing in Westron. It was something softer, breathier, that rolled all too easily off of her tongue. Elvish, it seemed. The melody was low, seeming to match the quiet darkness of the forest. He found himself leaning against a tree a few yards away from her, watching the moonlight dance off of her skin and clothing, letting the sound of her singing, carried by that soft, persistent wind trickle into his ears.

At last, she turned so she was facing him, and Kili's breath caught in his lungs. Her hair was a tangled, curling mess framing her cheeks, which were smudged slightly with dirt, but practically glowing pale in the light. He found himself clenching his fists as his heart felt a sudden, violent tug. How was she suddenly so beautiful?

She started slightly, upon seeing him, alarm flashing across her near-black gaze and the song going silent on her lips, but she soon settled into a soft smile. "Master Dwarf, some would consider me finding you here frightening, or perhaps disturbing."

"Good thing you don't think that, then," he shot back, a smile lifting at his lips. "Fili was worried, thought you might've gotten lost."

Gwen chuckled faintly, draping her clothes from the day over her arm. "I wouldn't. I know these paths better than I wish to."

Part of Kili really wanted to prod further into that statement, but something more pressing tugged at his mind. "That song...what was it?"

Gwen smiled wryly, as she sat down in the moonlight, her fingers working to secure her boots onto her legs. "That was the _Lay of Leithian."_ Kili raised a brow in confusion, and Gwen frowned. "The tale of Beren and Luthien?"

"Haven't heard it."

Gwen seemed terribly shocked by this, her brow furrowing. "Are you sure? It's told even by children..."

"Not by dwarven children," Kili told her, seating himself on the ground in front of her. "So how about you tell it to me now?"

"It's a bit long..."

"Then a short version," Kili insisted.

Gwen sighed, before she somewhat reluctantly began her story. "It started when Beren and Luthien met for the first time. It was love at first sight," she explained, a distant look appearing in her eyes. "But with any romance, there were complications. Luthien was an elf, entirely immortal. While Beren," she sighed heavily. "Was mortal, and would die." Her eyes flicked up to his for a moment, too short for Kili to read her emotions, but he could practically feel the strange tension rolling off of the girl. "They didn't care, about this difference, their love was so great, and they sought to be joined in marriage. Luthien's father was against the idea though, and sent Beren out on a quest he thought entirely impossible. He was to travel to the depths of Angband, and take a single Simaril from the great Iron Crown of Morgoth himself."

Kili couldn't deny, he was a bit confused. There were a lot of names being thrown out that he wasn't too familiar with. However, even if he wasn't entirely following the story, he was enjoying himself enough, watching the emotions playing over Gwen's face, letting the sweet, low hush of her voice wash over him.

"With help from Luthien and her magical powers, they managed to sneak into Angband, and take the Simaril they needed. But just when freedom seemed closest, Beren's hand holding the Simaril was bitten off by a great hound, a servant of Morgoth. After a great hunt, the beast was killed, and the Simaril recovered, but...Beren lost his life in the battle."

That line, in particular set a reaction off in Gwen. One of her hands gripped into the leaf mold under her palm, while the other flexed as she paused for a breath.

"Luthien wilted away, died of heartbreak without her one true love."

Kili frowned as Gwen once again paused. That wasn't the end of the story, right? If it was, that was a bloody awful ending. He was about to open his mouth to speak, but Gwen continued.

"However, Luthien's spirit pleaded with Mandos of the Valar, and her cry was heeded. She and Beren were given one lifetime, to live together in happiness. At last made mortal," Gwen's voice broke slightly, but she pushed on, after clearing her throat. "Luthien passed away with her beloved, after living long into old age." She paused, before speaking again, her voice quiet and small. "They got their happy ending."

Kili sat back, letting the story wash over him. It was nice. Other than all that death of course. But in the end, they all got what they deserved, right? "I like it."

Gwen tilted her head, fixing her eyes onto his as she smiled. "Me too."

"You should tell it to Fili," Kili added. "He might cry a bit, but I think he'd like it as well."

She chuckled faintly. "I doubt Thorin would enjoy me filling his heir's mind with silly elvish folklore."

Kili froze. Elvish folklore. That was an elven tale.

He shook the idea off just as quickly. She could have heard that from anywhere. As for the singing in elvish...well, creatures other than elves could speak elvish, right? That wasn't any incriminating evidence. Mahal, _incriminating evidence_? It wasn't as if he was running an investigation on the girl. He needed to stop this nonsense.

When he looked back up at her, he would a bit startled by the intensity of her gaze. It was burning, with something Kili had seen in her eyes before, but still couldn't quite put a name on. He found himself drawn in by her gaze. It was deeper than any he'd seen before. Endlessly dark and confusing, and he couldn't help but want to explore this. To understand every layer of her muddled emotions. To know what was going on up in her head. Her lips parted slightly, maybe to speak, but no sound came out. He saw her swallow hard, and something clenched onto his heart.

That spell was broken quite abruptly, as Gwen shook her head, shifting away from him, her eyes avoiding his. "Come on, the others will be missing us."

He found himself scrambling to catch up with her, sending one last glance at the pool of dappled moonlight that lit up the forest floor. He would have to remember that. Why, he wasn't sure. He just knew he should.

"Would you wait up?" he called, finally turning to follow her.

"Not for a _dwarf_ ," she spat back over her shoulder.

Kili rolled his eyes. She would end up killing him, one day.

* * *

 _ **Raaawr, sorry if this chapter was a little unedited. I didn't have time to read it out-loud to myself as I usually do, so please point out any issues you've noticed! On another note, I finally finished writing this fic! It still needs some serious edits/rewrites in many parts, but I have it down in actual words. So hooray for that! The version of the**_ **Lay of Lethain** _ **Gwen sings here is the one Aragorn/Strider sings in the Fellowship of the Ring. Mostly because I challenge you to find me a more beautiful version of that poem than the one Viggo Mortensen sings.**_

 _ **All reviews and faves and follows from the last chapter are very much appreciated! If you have the time, it would be fantastic to hear from you. Yes. You. specifically. Please. I could use some cheering up right now. See you guys on Friday, have a great week!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Facing Feelings**_


	13. Facing Feelings

_**Jeez, you guys must have the memory of goldfish for me to keep having to remind you of this, but seriously, Tolkien and Peter Jackson own the characters and world. I own my OC. We clear?**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

FACING FEELINGS

Kili opened his eyes to find himself face-to-face with that heavy wooden door. The same odd sense of familiarity washed over him at the very sight of it, and his heart felt like it might burst with the sudden rush of warmth that flooded it.

 _Love._

Whatever was behind this door, he loved it with a passion that almost frightened him. He moved more on instinct than thought, his hands trembling as they went to the rusted latch. He shifted its weight up, pleased upon not hearing the wood scrape against the rough stone floor. A cacophony of smells and sounds assaulted him, and one word surfaced from his tumultuous thoughts as the world beyond the door came into focus: _home._

The force of that thought nearly knocked him off his feet. That was what that joy, bubbling up in his heart was called. He was finally coming home. At last. Mahal, he could cry.

Suddenly, movement caught his eye, and he gaped at the child running at him. Pale, slightly pudgy cheeks, curling dark hair, warm brown eyes, and a grin that could light up a night sky. Tears pushed behind his eyes and he found words going silent on his lips as he knelt down, sweeping the child up into his arms. The boy squealed in delight, gripping Kili's collar with tiny hands. Kili found himself grinning as tears welled up in his eyes, his heart clenching hard in his chest. This bundle of warmth in his arms...It was so unbelievably _brilliant_ that he couldn't find the words to express it properly. He blinked away the tears in his eyes, planting a kiss on the child's temple. He shrieked incoherently at this, scrambling to avoid this kiss and failing entirely.

Kili chuckled, settling the child onto his hip in a place that seemed quite natural. Familiar. This was all eerily familiar to him, though he was positive he knew none of it. What was this?

Movement inside the house caught his eye, and he looked up from the boy to see a figure standing over the stove. He could see her in profile, her clothing worn but fitting well to her tall, still lithe form. Her hair hung in dark curls down her back, clipped back from her face with a few long braids, secured with numerous tiny beads. The dark hair drawn up from her temple showed amply her pale, delicately pointed ears. His breath caught as she shifted to face him, all rational thought leaving his head as his heart seized up in his chest. Oh, Mahal, she was beautiful and wonderful and amazing and...Gwen.

* * *

The real world returned to him like a sigh. Reality was awful sometimes. The trees of Mirkwood loomed tall and dark over him, blocking out any sight of the sky. The air was damp and cold, wind rattling through branches and leaves. It felt like he'd barely slept at all. He rolled over in his bedroll, letting out a groan. If only he was still asleep.

He burrowed his face further into his sleeve, fumbling to pull his cloak back up to his chin, and squeezing his eyelids back shut. No one had woken him, so he might be able to get a few more minutes of sleep before reality truly came crashing back. He knew that he had dreamed, when he was asleep but all his mind could recall was an intense happiness that Kili found himself quite missing. It had been quite nice.

A soft sigh somehow caught his attention over his blood pulsing through his ears, and the persistent wind. His eyes snapped open, and instantly, any discomfort drained out of him. Gwen's sleeping face was maybe a yard from his. She was curled tightly on herself, her cloak and coat wrapped tightly around her. Her hair hung in ragged curls down over her face, stirring slightly with each gentle breath she took. Kili felt himself smiling at the faint crease in her forehead, and he wondered for a moment, what was troubling her so in her sleep. If he were a bit nearer to her, he would have reached out, and smoothed that wrinkle out of her face. She didn't need to look so worried when asleep. Sleep was the time for peace and rest, not more concern.

For a moment, an image flashed into his head, one of Gwen, her hair combed and hanging loosely down her back, but braided away in the front to show her pointed ears. Kili didn't even flinch as the idea flashed into his head. Rather, he chased it, trying to bring it back to mind. Just the thought of it had sent his heart thrumming wonderfully in his chest. Where had that image come from?

"Kee?"

His eyes snapped open, and Kili wondered when he had ever closed them. He was still on his side, his head resting atop his arm, bedroll crumpled beneath him, with a root digging into his hip, and Gwen hadn't moved, still looking faintly worried as her hair fell over her face. He must have fallen asleep. He certainly felt much better rested. The hand gently nudging his shoulder brought his thoughts to the voice. "Wake up, would you?"

Kili rolled onto his back to see that the hushed voice belonged t his brother, leaning over him. Kili frowned up at him. "What's going on?"

"We have to talk," Fili replied quite simply.

"Sleeeep," Kili drawled, trying to roll back over. He needed another three to ten hours of sleep like the one he'd just gotten.

Fili kept him from rolling over, rolling his eyes. "Not now. Now get up. We haven't long."

"Long for what?" Kili groaned, finally surrendering and throwing his cloak off. He flinched as the cold air bit at him, spreading a clammy chill over his skin. He was in for a long day.

"Like I said, we need to talk."

Kili slowly dragged himself up into sitting, all of his muscles protesting. "About what?"

Fili didn't answer, instead standing up. "Come on, then."

Kili glared at him as he struggled up to his feet, his head swimming. He couldn't see the sun, but it felt like it wasn't even up yet. Whatever it was that Fili so desperately needed to talk to him about, it better have been important. As Kili stumbled after his brother into the trees, he recalled something from the previous night. "Aren't you supposed to be keeping watch with Bofur?"

Fili shook his head. "He fell asleep half an hour ago."

Kili remembered his brother volunteering for third watch. This likely meant that Kili wouldn't be getting any more sleep that night. Finally, Fili slowed to a stop, and Kili huffed, leaning back against a tree and hugging himself for warmth. "So, what was this that you needed to interrupt my precious sleep for?"

"What's going on with you and Gwen?" Fili asked without hesitation, his tone dry.

Kili froze, his heart lurching into his throat for some odd reason. He choked out a chuckle, though it sounded a bit strangled. "What's going on with _you_ and Gwen?"

"Seriously, Kee," he replied, giving Kili a look he'd frequently used to shame the younger dwarf when they were both young. Much to Kili's dismay, he wilted under the heavy gaze. "This is important."

"Why?" Kili mumbled, not able to meet Fili's eyes.

Kili was expecting a hundred different answers. 'You hardly know her.' 'She doesn't love you back.' 'You're almost a prince, while she's common.' 'She's way out of your league.' 'How do you even know you love her?'

However, he wasn't prepared for Fili to say, voice a bit raw and hoarse, "Because you're my baby brother and I have to make sure you're okay."

There were, quite absurdly, tears suddenly pressing against the back of Kili's eyes, and he was a bit too stunned to reply straight away. Mahal, what do you say to that?

"I know you're stubborn, and ridiculous, and headstrong, so..." Fili paused. "I thought you could probably use some help."

Kili shook his head. This was absurd. This whole conversation was absurd. "Fili, me and Gwen, there's...there's nothing."

His heart hurt worse than any physical wound he'd felt.

"Don't lie," Fili said sharply. "I see the way you look at her, and the way she looks at you. You love her."

Kili flinched. "That's...I don't know..."

"Yes you do," Fili insisted. "You do know it. I can tell."

There was certainly a downfall to having someone know you so well as Fili and Kili knew each other.

Kili sighed heavily, sliding down to sit on the ground at the base of the tree. He felt sick. There was too much going on in his heart and head. He wanted to cry. It sounded so ridiculous and immature and childlike, but he just wanted to have a good cry until the world around him sorted itself out. Kili scrubbed his hands over his eyes, willing those tears away. The world around him wouldn't get better by him crying about it.

"It's alright," Fili told him, and Kili felt his presence settle down on the ground beside him, as Fili rested a hand on his shoulder.

"No, it's bloody not," Kili shot back, his voice ragged. He stared hard at the ground beneath his legs, willing the hot press of tears away from the back of his eyes. "It's not alright."

Fili breathed out a heavy sigh. "You're right."

Kili clenched his fists hard, squeezing his eyelids tightly closed. He wouldn't cry. Couldn't cry. "Dammit, Fee, you don't have to agree with me on that."

"I won't lie to you, you're not a child. You need to hear the truth," Fili said. "You're right. This whole thing...it's kind of a mess."

His skull was beginning to throb, and he had to clench his teeth to keep from lashing out. There was a hand, clenching tight in his heart, making it very hard for him to breathe. "Just shut up."

Fili seemed to have not heard him, or to have ignored him. "It's...all this is happening for a reason, aye?"

Kili gave no response.

"And I figure, you love her. And she loves you. And love...it's not bad, right? So...I guess this'll all work itself out, in the end. You just have to wait it out."

Durin's beard, there were the tears. "...curse you."

"Erm..."

Kili punched him hard enough in the arm to leave a bruise. "You're about as good at comforting people as Thorin."

"Well, I don't think-"

Kili cut off Fili's affronted protest by grappling him into a rough hug, trying to blink the tears out of his eyes. "Shut up," he repeated, then clamped his mouth shut. Mahal, it _sounded_ like he was crying. He hated it. At the same time, it was a little bit nice, feeling the hot tears squeezing out of his eyes, letting his heart ache so terribly, and having his brother to hold onto. All his bottled up emotions squeezed out of him, and it was incredible weight lifted to get that poison out of his system.

Fili's hand came up, rubbing gently in circles on the center of his back, just like their mother had always done. This forced a choked out sob from Kili, but despite his cheeks, burning horribly in embarrassment, it made his heart feel a little better. He seemed like an idiot. A truly childish idiot. But even he had a breaking point, it seemed.

It felt like an eternity before he was able to pull himself together enough for the gasping sobs to fade, his nose sticky with snot, his head throbbing. Despite all this, when he let his arms drop from his brother, falling back onto the tree, scrubbing at his face with his sleeve, he felt better. Of course, the situation hadn't been made better in the slightest, but still, his heart had stopped panging with hurt so very intensely, and the whirlwind of thoughts and feeling in his head had died down to an acceptable buzz.

"Tell no one," he mumbled, smearing the slick of tears off his cheeks.

Fili didn't respond to that, sighing heavily. "I'll be here, alright? If you ever need someone to talk to, or complain at, or punch, just...aye. I'm here."

Kili groaned in exasperation as more tears welled up. "Would you stop that?"

He could hear the frown in Fili's voice though he didn't look up to see it. "What?"

"Being so bloody _supportive_ and _helpful."_

"Fine," Fili huffed. "You're a hopeless idiot who'd serve us all better as a chimney sweep than a warrior."

Kili smiled, as the urge to start sobbing again faded. Nothing like a good dose of cruelty to make you man up. "Better."

He felt Fili shifting beside him. "It's getting late. I should go and wake the others." Kili lifted his head, and Fili's eyebrows shot up. "You stay out here and pull yourself together. You look disgusting."

"Thanks," Kili drawled with some amount of sarcasm, though he knew it was true. He felt pretty disgusting too.

"Here," Fili handed him a waterskin, before standing up, brushing himself off. "Give it back to me later, and don't use too much. We only have to drink what we've carried along with us."

Kili nodded his genuine thanks, then his brother was gone. He went to work quickly, rubbing his face a bit more with his grubby sleeve. He almost chuckled, as he was reminded of Bilbo's small panic attack due to his lack of a handkerchief, back at the beginning of the quest. At the time, Kili had scoffed at the hobbit's seeming foolishness, but now, he could really use just what the hobbit didn't have. Ah, the irony. His mother would have a great "I told you so" at this.

Once he felt sufficiently cleaned up, he was able to follow the faint sounds of his companions back to the camp. It seemed they all were only just waking up, grumbling and groaning, wearily clearing up the camp. The embers of their small fire had been reawoken to warm up what looked like a pot of broth for breakfast. Brilliant.

His eyes caught on Fili's almost immediately, and Kili found himself slightly comforted by the dwarf's small, fleeting smile. It was nice to have his brother on his side. Of course, Kili hadn't told him about all the issues he was having concerning Gwen's possible elven-like heritage, but still, he knew more than the others. And for now, that was enough.

Speaking of Gwen, she was seated on a log next to her bedroll, so conveniently right next to his. Kili silently swore to himself. When had he started sleeping next to Gwen every night? He couldn't even remember the specific day... Still, there was no way he'd be able to get to his bedroll to pack his things without facing her. It wasn't that he didn't want to face her, just...He didn't want to face her at that particular _moment._ There were far too many thoughts concerning her flying through his head. The last thing he needed was Gwen's voice joining those whispering in his ears.

Kili sighed, resigning himself to his fate. As soon as he knelt down, Gwen looked up from whatever item of clothing she was repairing. "Up bright and early, I see, Master Dwarf."

"Not willingly," Kili assured her, shooting a brief glare over his shoulder at his brother, only a yard of two away, packing his own things. "Fili decided we needed to have a nice pre-sunrise chat."

Luckily, Gwen didn't prod into what this talk was, instead opting for a different question, voice soft with barely hidden concern. "Are you alright?"

Kili nearly snorted, recalling his conversation with Fili only minutes earlier. He replied, not looking at her to make the lying easier. "Sure, Gwen. I'm fine."

"No you're not," she sighed.

Curse these people, knowing him so well. Could he not get away with one lie? Kili ignored her, folding his cloak up to occupy his hands.

"Fine," Gwen said after a moment, a twinge of defeat in her tone. "Just..."

A pang hit his heart at the sound of disappointment so clearly in her tone, but he forced himself to keep his eyes down, brushing bits of leaf off of his bedroll.

"I guess I'll just have to trust you then."

Kili sighed heavily. Mahal, she knew how to manipulate him. It was a little scary. But still he caved, looking up to meet her eyes, where she seemed to be staring down at the fabric scrunched in her fists. "I'll tell you if anything's really wrong, aye, love?"

Love. Maybe he shouldn't have said that. Just saying the word out loud sent goose bumps over his skin, setting his heart thrumming. Maybe Fili was right, with the whole love thing...

Gwen only nodded in response, and Kili fought back a groan. He'd been too cold with her, it seemed, and now she was getting him back. _Women,_ he thought with a huff.

* * *

The coldness didn't last long. In fact, midday, they were all quite back to normal. Exhausted, but annoying and teasing each other as head become the expected behavior between the two of them. It was a little tricky, for Kili as flashes from his dream of the previous night, as well as the word 'love' among other ridiculous thing kept flashing into his mind every time he'd cast a look her way. He ignored it, mostly.

By the end of the day, he found himself not quite so exhausted as he had been the previous. While the better part of the last morning had consisted of riding, they had walked the entirety of that day. Kili was used to walking. Even with a twisting, curving path, and strange, confusing sights everywhere you looked, walking was still walking, and by the end of the day, Kili didn't feel ready to drop off of his feet, and found himself volunteered for the first watch of the night.

He was on duty with Nori, which, though watch with the kleptomaniac dwarf was usually fairly interesting, ended up being dead boring. Nori had fallen dead asleep after the first hour of nodding off, and Kili simply didn't have the heart to wake him. Plus, it was seeming to be a rather quiet night, and Nori was always one to be quickly woken back up if disaster did strike.

Unfortunately, the moon was almost completely covered by trees. The beams strained faintly down through layers of leaf cover, casting a horribly washed-out light over his sleeping companions. The fire had burnt out completely, beat down by the nasty humid chill of the air. The wind that had seemed never-ending the night before had disappeared halfway through the day, making the air a little too stuffy and warm. Now, the awful cold had returned, and Kili had begun to consider if it would be too ridiculous if he were to get his bedroll out to sit on. It felt like the damp, leafy forest floor was draining any warmth out of him.

He didn't really know the time, seeing as the moon wasn't visible, but it felt as if it had yet to reach its highest point in the sky, though the light was growing strong. He figured it was close enough to second watch, that he would be able to go and get some rest.

It took him a moment or two to wake Dori and Ori, who'd been picked for second watch, but they complied well enough, and Kili found himself stumbling into the empty spot between Fili and Gwen, as the two argued about whether Ori should really be knitting on watch. The space was already cleared of leaves, sticks and rocks, no doubt a feat of Gwen and Fili working together, and it seemed they'd reserved him a spot mostly clear of roots. A smile spread over his face as he rolled out his bedroll, warmth flooding his heart. It was a small gesture, sure, making their situation in this forest only slightly less miserable, but they had thought of him, even though they were both exhausted.

He'd sat down, leaning down to strip his muddy boots off, when a low voice spoke. "Kili."

He jumped a bit, hands skittering off of the leather ties of his shoes. He soon identified the speaker as Gwen, peering up at him with tired eyes. He sighed, continuing to fiddle with his boots. "What're you doing up, love?"

"Couldn't sleep," she mumbled. "Too bloody cold."

Kili chuckled drily, stripping one boot off, setting it off to the side, where he'd easily be able to reach it in the morning. "I'd have to agree."

"I'll never get used to this," she continued, as Kili bemusedly watched her curl tighter on herself, pulling her cloak tighter over her shoulders. "Back home in Rûhn, it was never this cold. Even at night, it might get a bit chilly in the winter, but honestly..."

"Yes, but then you also had to deal with Rûhn _summers_ which I'm sure weren't quite so enjoyable," Kili said, sure to keep his voice low. He'd finally gotten his other boot off, and wriggled his cold-soaked toes gratefully.

"Admittedly, they were awful. Some nights, you couldn't sleep at all. Just laid on the floor, because it felt cooler than a straw mattress, and tried not to sweat too much."

Kili snorted, reaching around his pack, till he found his thin wool blanket. "Sounds brilliant."

"We got by," Gwen sighed in response, tone thick with the recollection of memories. "When it was just the two of us, my brother and I would go out and lay on the roof. It was always cooler up there. And even if we still couldn't sleep, there was a sky full of stars to count."

Kili watched the fond smile that played on her lips, her eyes distant. "I've heard the stars down there are beautiful."

"They are." He could practically see the far-off starlight reflecting off the soft brown depths of her eyes. Mahal, he sounded like Ori. But it was true. "You can hardly see the night behind the number of them." She glanced over to him, an almost child-like excitement touching her expression. "You know the game where you try to make shapes out of clouds?" Kili could only nod in response, frozen by the starry brightness of her gaze directed at him. "We'd play that, but with the stars. At first, it was very strategic, clever, even, but when it got too late, we'd just turn into giggling messes."

"I can relate," Kili breathed, laying himself down on his bedroll, pulling his cloak and blanket up to his neck. He could recall a few instances from his childhood when he and Fili would stay up a bit later than their mother would have liked. By the time midnight had passed, they would usually be reduced to muffled shouts and wild laughter.

"I swear, we thought we were being quiet, but one of the neighbors would always hear, and come out to shout at us."

"If I were the two of you, I would have hidden," Kili yawned, stretching out his aching muscles.

"We did," Gwen chuckled.

"You see," Kili began. "With Fili and I, we would try to hide. But somehow, mum would always track us down."

"Perhaps you weren't quite as good at hiding as you're currently imagining."

"No," Kili chuckled. "That's not it. We were brilliant."

Gwen rolled her eyes, grumbling as she turned to lay on her back a bit more.

"What was that?"

"I called you an egotistical brat," she shot back.

Kili faked a wince. "Harsh."

"But true."

Kili watched as a shiver went through her, her body curling in on itself. Not giving him the time to second guess himself, he spoke. "Come here."

Gwen froze, tilting her head to look at him, one brow raised. "What?"

"You're freezing, and you spoke of the wonders of a good dwarf blanket the other day." He lifted his arm, sliding back a bit on his bedroll to leave her some space. He half wanted to think he was joking. Had his cold and exhausting addled mind just asked Gwen to come...(he shuddered at the word) _cuddle_ with him? Mahal, he did do that. Was he finally cracked?

"You're daft."

Part of him agreed. The other part, however, pressed on. "And you're cold. Get over here."

"Demanding people, dwarves," Gwen grumbled, but began moving.

This was really happening. Durin's beard, was this a dream?

He lay in silence as she hauled her body up from the bedroll, crawling the foot or two over to. She flopped rather gracelessly into his arms, dragging her cloak along with her in one hand. Kili fought the urge to roll his eyes. She was acting like such a child. And Kili was the one who got called immature.

He reached over her to grab her cloak, pulling it up till in covered the both of them, then leaving his arm where it had been draped over her waist. She seemed to burrow back into him, working her way under his blankets and coats, close against his chest. Everywhere they touched, it felt like a fire, a soft, crawling one that chased the last of the cold out of his muscles, and turned his bones into jelly. A soft humming noise of satisfaction buzzed through her, and when she spoke, her voice was slurred with sleep. "You're warm."

"And you're cold," he mumbled back, feeling sleep fog up his thoughts as he let himself nuzzle into the bare back of her neck, the soft, sweet smell of her hair filling his nostrils. His hand against her ribcage absently smoothed gentle circles into her skin, in the hopes of lulling her off to sleep. He was certainly feeling more weary with her weight against him.

"Tell me something I don't know," she mumbled back, her voice growing distant in his ears as sleep began dragging him down.

"I love you."

He felt her sigh, though her voice was nearly gone, quiet and far-away as it was. "I said something I _don't_ know."

* * *

 _ **Hmm. They just cannot seem to figure out how to do this relationship thing properly. They'll have to work that out. Couldn't read this chapter out loud either, so please point out anything you notice. Review for the sake of the Durin bromance in all of its fantastical glory. Can we try and get to seven? Reviews for last chapter were so much appreciated! I love seeing excitement for this story! Love you all!**_

 _ **Next Chapter- Push**_

 _ **Preview:**_ _"I think we're done here, Master Dwarf."_

 _Kili didn't even try to hide the fact that he was shaking as he stood, sending her a curt nod. "Very well."_

 _Something inside him broke as he turned his back on her._


	14. Push

_**I don't own. Tolkien and Jackson, yeah, they own. Me, not so much.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

PUSH

The air was heavy and warm, though not oppressive. It was laced with the smell of wood smoke, animal furs, and stone. What he always had imagined Erebor would smell like. He felt tired, but not terribly so, just a pleasant fog over his senses. The bed was soft underneath him, a fresh straw mattress stacked over with absurdly silky soft animal furs, not the scratchy wool he'd grown used to. He blinked his eyes to a state of openness, and found himself looking up at a smooth stone ceiling, lit by low amber light.

A soft sigh to his left alerted him, and he rolled over quickly to find the source of the noise. When he'd identified it, a warm smile lit his lips. Though a slight frown was etched into Gwen's brow, her creamy skin glowed in the warm light, the curls of her hair glinting with threads of copper and gold over her cheeks. The rest of it was splayed out across the pillow, looking softer than silk, stirring slightly as her breaths drew in, long and slow, through her chest. He reached forward, almost impulsively, to smooth the wrinkle from her brow. At his touch, her expression relaxed, her features slipping into an expression of contented peace.

He felt a faint hush of breath tingling against his wrist and lowered his hand a bit, so that it rested against her jaw. Her skin was smooth under the rough, calloused pads of his fingers, completely lacking hair. A smile tugged at his lips, a near laugh bubbling up in his chest at the thought. Any other dwarf who'd touched her face would likely think her smooth, hairless skin disgusting. Honestly, what was wrong with Kili that he only found this all the more charming? Besides, she had plenty of hair on her head. He'd quite like her to let him touch it. To comb his fingers through it, spend hours tying it into braids that would make Fili proud, grabbing up silky handfuls to draw her closer to him...

Kili had to swallow hard as the desire to kiss her suddenly became very apparent. He burned for it. He couldn't though. Not now. He lifted his thumb, to brush it over her lower lip. It was rough, maybe a bit chapped, but that only managed to make him want her more, to get to know her lips _very_ well with his own. He forced his slightly trembling finger away, to skim over her jaw, across her high cheekbones, and finally carding into the hair at her temple.

Blackness came like a flood.

* * *

Kili jolted quite violently awake, his heart leaping into a thudding pace, a feeling terribly similar to falling clenching his gut. His instinct was to jolt up into a sitting position, but the warm weight against his chest against his thudding chest, taking in deep drags of her scent to calm him. Mahal, he hated being woken like that. He nuzzled deeper into Gwen's hair, till his nose brushed against the soft skin of her shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut. He didn't want to wake up. Whatever he had been dreaming, it was good.

Suddenly, Gwen's legs twitched from where they were tangled in his, and a hum vibrated through her. Kili frowned, drawing his face away from her neck, as her breaths began to grow a bit ragged and uneven. "Gwen?"

She didn't respond to his murmur, but her legs kicked slightly again, and he could feel her muscles tense. Kili's frown only deepened as he shifted away from her a bit more, lifting his head off the ground and tilting her so he could see her face. Her lips were curved into a frown, her jaw clenching and unclenching, eyes flicking about behind her closed lids. Kili recognized this. She was dreaming. And judging by the upset curve of her lips, and the squeaking sounds of distress that squeezed out of her throat, it wasn't a good one. Kili was contemplating whether or not to shake her awake, when she began to thrash even more, her body curling and uncurling on itself, trembling all the way. Kili dragged himself into sitting up, alarm quickly filling him. This was _definitely_ not a good dream.

He grasped firmly to her shoulder, giving it a good shake. "Gwen, wake up."

He had to keep his voice low, as the light was still faint, likely not past dawn, but if Gwen continued as she was, she'd likely wake the whole camp in the throes of her night-terror. She seemed to register his touch, flinching away, but didn't wake, delivering him a solid kick to the shins. Kili winced, hissing out a curse. _Mahal_ , she could kick, even when asleep. He grasped both of her shoulders then, shaking her harder. "Gwen-"

She was awake in a flash, her eyes snapping open, wide enough to show white on the edges. Before Kili could react, she'd thrown him off of her, scrambling a few feet away, movements jittery and panicked. Kili swore again as he sat back up, rubbing at his knee which she'd twisted in her panic to get away from him. "Mahal, Gwen, what's wrong?"

She didn't answer straight away, her eyes flicking around frantically, her frame still shaking as she crouched on the forest floor, muscles tensed and ready to spring into action. She relaxed slowly, something like comprehension dawning across her face. Eventually, it seemed she noticed him again, eyes flashing dark. "Kili-Valar...it's you."

Kili watched her for a moment, as she dragged in deep breaths, her hands clenching and unclenching in the dead leaves scattered over the ground. "Aye, it is. What happened?"

She sighed heavily, not meeting his eyes as she crawled over to her empty bedroll, sitting carefully. "Just a nightmare. Sorry if I scared you."

"You did, a bit. What did you dream about?"

"It's nothing," she breathed, before a shiver wracked her body.

Kili almost instinctively shuddered as well. The morning air was cold and clammy on his skin, even through his coats, and the still warm bedroll and pile of cloaks beneath him seemed to call him back down. "Why don't you come back here with me, and we'll get you warmed up and talk about it?" Durin's beard, when did he become so...nice? Fifty year old him would be disgusted.

She only shook her head. "No. It was nothing."

"It obviously _wasn't-"_

"If I said it was nothing, it was nothing, alright?" Gwen suddenly snapped, her eyes skittering off of his.

Kili frowned hard, but was sure to keep his tone soft as he spoke. "Fine. But you're freezing. Come here."

If she wasn't going to let him help her sort out whatever had seemed to scare her so badly, he could at least hold her until those terrible tremors were out of her system. Although he was curious, and a bit worried. What possibly could have left her so shaken up?

"No," she repeated, before jerking up to her feet, swaying a bit dizzily once she was up. "I'm fine. I just...I have to go for a bit."

Kili lurched onto his feet as well, alarm pulsing though him. She looked so pale, so gaunt. Like she could drop out any moment. "Where are you going?"

Gwen only shook her head, backing a few steps away from him, towards the trees. "Not far. I just need to be alone for a bit."

"It's not safe!" His warning fell on deaf ears, though, as she turned away from him, disappearing into the trees.

"Best not to go after her, laddie," a voice sighed, stopping Kili right in his tracks as he was about to do just that.

He twisted on his heel to see Balin seated by the remains of the fire, a sympathetic expression written across his face. "She'll die," Kili sputtered, after the alarm of the sudden apparent wakefulness of the other dwarf faded off.

"No she won't," Balin said. "She said she'd not go far."

"You-what's wrong with her?"

"Hard to say," Balin explained. "She obviously wanted some time to figure it out for herself though, and I expect you'll only upset her more if you try to push her any more on the matter."

Kili sat heavily onto his bedroll, hanging his head a bit. The warmth of Gwen's body was fading fast from the fabric of his bedroll, and Kili ran a fond hand over the indent where she'd been. Mahal, what he'd give to be back to the time when he'd just woken up, and found himself tangled around her, all warm and cozy...

He froze, turning to Balin in horror. "You saw..."

Balin chuckled heartily at his expression. "Aye, I did see you with her, laddie. Don't worry though," he said with a tap to the side of his nose. "I understand. And unless you give me a reason to, I won't be telling anyone else."

Kili breathed out a sigh of relief, though his cheeks burned a bit with embarrassment. Well, if any of the dwarves had to see them, it was probably best that it was Balin. He'd have to be careful in the future...If there was a future. With how upset Gwen seemed, he wouldn't be surprised if he never go to feel her warm weight against his chest again. What a depressing thought...

It seemed Balin was still watching him, as he chuckled yet again. "Don't you worry. It'll all turn out all right. Now, why don't you get a bit more sleep in before the dawn arrives?"

Kili nodded sullenly and laid back down in his bedroll. Without Gwen there though, he knew sleep would be out of reach. Blasted girl, she was messing up his sleep schedule even when she was nowhere near him.

* * *

The morning seemed to drag on terribly. He didn't sleep. the spot where Gwen had been felt oppressively empty beside him, no matter how much he tossed and turned, and when the rest of the camp awoke, he was even more exhausted and irritable than he had been the previous night. Gwen had returned halfway though their meager breakfast, using the excuse that she'd been out scouting the path before them. The others had taken to this idea well enough, though Balin shot Kili a slightly sympathetic look. Kili ignored the dwarf in favor of taking note of the fact that Gwen deserted her usual spot between him and Fili, instead squeezing down beside Ori. She shot him a faint smile over the weak fire when she noticed his eyes on her, but it brought no relief to Kili's heart. The smile didn't reach her eyes. Did she really think he'd be that easy to trick?

Fili seemed to have picked up on his brother's rather dour mood, and was smoothly diverting the other's attention away from him as he brooded, prodding at the tasteless vegetable broth they'd been given for breakfast. A soon as they were packed though, Fili pulled him aside. "What's happened?"

"Nothing," Kili quickly dismissed with a shake of his head. "It's just...Gwen's being stupid."

Fili frowned. "Have you talked to her about it?"

"That's the thing," Kili explained, straining to keep his voice low enough that the others couldn't hear. "She won't talk to me about it."

"Should I try and see if I can get anything out of her?"

For a moment, Kili actually considered the proposition. But..."Not now, at least. She reacted pretty badly when I prodded."

"Still..." Fili's frown deepened. "It's strange, seeing you two at odds."

"We're not _at odds,"_ Kili huffed, kicking the dirt at his feet to avoid his brother's prying gaze. "She's just...being difficult."

Fili snorted in disbelief. "Aye, certainly. Make sure you don't act as strange as you have been around her, though. The others might start asking questions."

"Nosy bastards."

Fili rolled his eyes. "Aye, I know. Now stop acting like a hermit, and go talk to the others a bit."

Kili ended up spending the rest of the morning walking next to Gwen as per usual. He forced himself to act as he normally would with her, and she reciprocated, but the tension between the two was practically tangible. This frayed horribly at Kili's nerves as they twisted and turned through the trees. Every laugh sounded sour. Every smile was fake. Every nudge a cold, calculating move. Every wink forced.

By the time they'd stopped for a quick lunch, Kili felt it was growing unbearable. As Gwen shed her pack beside a tree. Kili leaned in to her, speaking quietly. "Can we talk for a moment?"

She looked a bit surprised, but nodded, leading him away from the others a few yards. "What is it?"

Mahal, he didn't have anything planned to say. Perhaps he should have thought this through a little better... "What did I do?"

Gwen arched a brow. "You've done a lot of things, I should think. Breathed, ate, danced, maybe sung a bit..."

"Not that," he sighed. "There's been something off since this morning. What did I do to make you all...strange?"

"I'm, afraid you're going to have to be a bit more specific, Master Dwarf."

"After you woke up this morning! You had that dream, and started acting odd-"

"It was _nothing,"_ she insisted, the facade of confusion falling off her face to reveal exasperation.

"You see, that's what you did this morning," he explained, trying not to let his frayed, tired nerves affect his words. "You pushed it off. You pushed _me_ off. You said it was nothing, when you were acting...acting like it certainly _was_ something!

This was one of those times when Kili wished he was better at speaking under pressure. He always ran out of words when he got frustrated. That, of course, only succeeded to frustrate him more.

"I was just a bit shaken up, aye?" Gwen said, her gaze going hard. "Overreacting."

Kili gritted his teeth hard, forcing himself to keep his voice down. "Then why can't you just tell me what the bloody dream was about?"

"Likely the same reason you shoved me away yesterday when I was trying to figure out what was so wrong with _you."_

Kili winced, but refused to believe that she had a point. That morning, she... "You just didn't need to know, Gwen, I'm sorry."

Her jaw tightened, eyes flashing though her tone stayed fairly neutral. "Just like you don't need to know right now."

He stared hard at her for a few long moments, taking note of the steely grip she had on her emotions. Mahal. She wasn't budging. It finally seemed Gwen'd had enough of this staring, and she muttered something about lunch, before twisting on her heel, striding back to the others. She was gone. Rage suddenly flooded him, and he turned, letting out a growl of frustration, his fist cracking hard into the tree closest to him.

The regret was immediate. He hissed out a string of curses that would have Dwalin blushing, holding his newly injured hand to his chest as the sharp pain shot all the way up his forearm. Mahal, something had definitely snapped. He fell into the tree he'd just punched, more than a little irked at the fact that the tree stood, hunched but entirely undamaged by his blow. He flexed his fingers a bit, and hissed out another curse. Bloody trees. He never had liked them.

* * *

It was entirely irritating, being in this forest. The air was heavy and drearily cold on his skin, making him feel uncomfortably sticky and clammy. A musty, rotten scent seemed to fill all the space around him, making the small amount of food in his stomach churn. The light was faint, and a terrible shade of grayish-green that made everything look dark and sallow, and started up an acute headache in his skull. The trees on either side of the path faded into an awful monotony, just gnarled, twisted branches, crooked trunks, knotty, snarled roots and jagged bark. Over and over and over again. Who would have thought awfulness would be so terribly _boring?_

Not to mention, of course, the fact that his fist was _throbbing._ Fili had bound it up for him, not asking questions. Their mother had taught both of them that taking your anger out on trees or chairs or tables was infinitely better than taking it out on actual people. Kili had been punching things to keep his anger in check for years. He just generally tried for something with a little more give than a century's old tree, and was now certainly paying the price of his hasty decision.

Luckily, Thorin had sent Gwen to the front of the group to keep watch ahead for any dangers, so Kili was left to his own upset. Fili was walking beside him, but didn't prod too much, to Kili's relief. He wasn't much in the mood to be comforted or consoled. He looked up at the sound of hushed voices, as the line of dwarves bumped to a halt. He couldn't quite see, but those at the front of the line seemed to be pointing at something in the trees. "Kili!"

Thorin's hissed command drew his attention, and he saw his uncle, indicating for him to come forward. Kili was able to get a bit closer, so he could hear when Gwen leaned down, speaking to Thorin in a hushed, but still urgent tone. "This is _incredibly_ unwise, Thorin."

"As is letting precious food escape our hands at this point in our journey," Thorin shot back, before looking back to Kili. "Kili, your bow."

Kili drew it without question, weaving through the stopped dwarves to his uncle as Gwen replied. "Food that we should not eat. Nothing in this forest is safe-"

Thorin ignored her, in favor of grabbing his nephew to his side, pointing through the trees. "There? You see?"

Kili squinted for a moment, and quickly identified the figure of a deer, maybe three or four dozen feet away, peacefully chewing at something at the base of a tree. He smoothly pulled an arrow from his quiver, nocking it and taking aim at the beast's neck.

" _Thorin,"_ Gwen hissed, annoyance and maybe a bit of panic leeching into her tone. "Think for a moment, will you? If the elves notice their prey disappearing-"

"With any luck we'll be gone from this wretched forest before they can notice their food supply dwindling."

Kili hesitated. Thorin had told him to shoot, but what Gwen was saying seemed logical, and _Mahal,_ his hand hurt. Part of him wanted to disagree with Gwen. She'd been being difficult since that morning, and who was to say her judgment wasn't clouded right then? At the same time, the simple action of keeping his bowstring drawn back was sending pain pulsating through his arm, centering around his fingers. Of course, it did seem Gwen had a point. This whole forest was poisonous. Who was to say this animal wasn't as well?

"We can't _eat it!"_

"I'll not have you telling me what I can and cannot do, girl!"

"I know this forest, Thorin. Gandalf said that. I need you to trust my judgment here."

"You have given me _nothing_ to trust!"

The bowstring snapped out of Kili's grip, the arrow landing harmlessly a foot or two away from the animal. It had bolted in an instant, and Kili winced. He'd let his attention slip too much. He lowered his bow, trying to prepare himself for the wrath of his uncle, who was staring, expressionless in the direction the deer had run.

"Sorry," Kili said after a moment, wincing at the meekness of his tone. "It slipped."

"Thank the Valar," Gwen sighed, clearly relieved.

"...slipped," Thorin repeated, as silence fell over the company for a few long moments.

Kili tried not to fidget too much, shame bubbling up in him. Oh, he messed up.

To his surprise, after another wait, Thorin said in a low monotone, "We camp here tonight."

Kili glanced around his surroundings. Although it was growing late, this was not the first place he would have chosen to stay the night, the trees were thick, shadows and thorns clinging between them. But Thorin's tone offered no room for argument, and the others were already moving to fulfill his order, pushing through the undergrowth on the right, and slightly clearer side of the path. Gwen nearly moved off with the rest, but Thorin spoke first, his voice sending chills down Kili's spine. "You. I need to speak to you, girl."

Gwen turned, and Kili hurried away as quickly as possible. He knew from experience that that tone meant nothing enjoyable. He might have tried to stay by Gwen, get her out of this fate a bit, but he'd seen how she reacted the last time he'd tried to help her. Kili just didn't want to deal with that.

By the time Gwen returned to camp, they'd gotten mostly set up. A few small fires were built between the trees, dispersing the smoke to keep them more hidden as they forged deeper into elf territory. Over these fires they'd warmed their dinner, a thin stew of broth, onions, and dried meat, with a piece of hard bread on the side. Kili couldn't help but be a bit bitter about how much better he would feel with the weight of some fresh venison in his stomach.

There was no sign of Thorin, but Gwen returned, looking a bit pale, but keeping a neutral expression. Kili felt a twinge of annoyance. That was the same face she'd used twice earlier that day when pretending that nothing was wrong. Just as before, Kili could see right through it. She was a bit shaken up, maybe angry, and certainly exhausted. A rush of sympathy came over his annoyance as he watched her stalk to a tree near the outside of the group, shedding her pack, then sitting heavily, scrubbing her hands wearily over her face. He prodded at the soup in his bowl, forcing himself to stop looking at her. She wanted to be alone. And so, alone is what he'd let her be.

Until, of course, Fili had to butt in, elbowing Kili in the side. "You _are_ going to go talk to her, aye?"

Kili shrugged, not meeting his eyes. "I might. Later."

He could practically hear his brother's eye roll. "Liar. Go now."

"She doesn't want to talk, so I won't push her," Kili explained, keeping his tone calm.

"Yes you will," Fili insisted. "Here."

Kili looked up to see that Fili had procured a fresh bowl of stew. "Take this to her, at least."

Kili hesitated, trying to find a way out, but Fili shoved the bowl into his hands, taking Kili's half-eaten one away. "Go."

With one last glare, Kili forced his stiff muscles into movement, weaving through the trees, and carefully stepping over roots to reach the girl. Gwen looked up when she heard him coming, and smiled faintly, though it didn't reach her eyes. Kili only responded with a nod, holding the bowl down to her.

She took it from him, but frowned. "What's happened to your hand?"

Kili flinched. He'd used his hand injured from punching the tree to give her the bowl. "I hurt it."

When he went into no further detail, Gwen practically wilted a bit, turning her face down to her bowl, going through its contents with her spoon. A twinge of guilt plucked at Kili's heart, but he couldn't elaborate further on the source of his injury. He didn't need her knowing the effect she had on him. He stood in silence, debating whether or not to go back to his brother, before sitting in front of her. "Got a Thorin tongue lashing, then?"

"Oh, aye," she breathed, with a smirk.

"What about?"

"Mostly that I wasn't to refute his orders so obviously and adamantly."

"Mostly?" Kili repeated, his curiosity drawn.

"Mostly," she confirmed.

"What else was it, then?"

Gwen stiffened slightly, and fixed her eyes once again to her bowl.

Kili's heart fell, bitterness touching his tone. "Let me guess, nothing?"

To his disappointment, Gwen nodded. "Aye."

Kili huffed, sitting back and rubbing a hand over his face as frustration welled up inside him again. Where had all this nothing come from? Where'd the Gwen he knew and loved gone? "What..." She didn't meet his eyes, and his throat tightened a bit. "What happened to trust?"

She sighed at that, setting her bowl to her side and finally looking him in the eyes. It seemed she was trying to keep a cover on her emotions, but Kili could see that question had hit her fairly hard. "I'm _trying,_ alright?"

"Trying," he chuckled humorlessly, giving his eyes a bit of a roll. "Always bloody _trying."_

Gwen's jaw clenched, tone becoming a bit more vibrantly annoyed. "Well, I'm only trusting as much as you are."

" _What?_ "

"The other morning, like I said. You did the exact same thing I did. You said that talk with Fili was about nothing, when I bloody well know it was about something, and something important. And just now. Your hand is hurt. I have eyes, I can tell. But you won't tell me why. You just pushed me off."

"That's..." Kili sputtered for an excuse. Mahal, why did she keep having to bring that up? "That was _different."_

"How?" she snapped in response.

Kili's eyes shot wide. "What do you..."

"How was it different, Master Dwarf? Because I would quite like to know."

"I can't..." Kili growled in annoyance, clenching his throbbing fists so hard his nails nearly cut his palms. What to say, what to say? "You _can't_ know, alright? You just can't!"

Gwen's gaze turned to ice, and she settled back into her tree, pulling the bowl of stew onto her lap. "And so, you can't know either."

Mahal, he wanted to punch a tree again. His blood burned in his veins for it. Just...anything. He was so bloody _furious_ and he didn't entirely know _why,_ which only irritated him more.

His temper didn't get any better as Gwen bit out in a tone colder than ice, "I think we're done here, Master Dwarf."

Kili didn't even try to hide the fact that he was shaking as he stood, sending her a curt nod. "Very well."

Something inside him broke as he turned his back on her.

* * *

 _ **No, guys, that's not how you relationship, what are you...idiots. Hope you all liked the chapter! I had a ton of fun writing it. Your reviews, faves and follows are, of course, appreciated very much. Special shout-out to reviewer IngaTheLass, who has faithfully reviewed every chapter of this story since chapter five, oftentimes being the first one to review a chapter. You're cool! Of course, any and all excitement for this story is enjoyed very much, and I'd love to hear from all of you in the form of a pretty little review. Any predictions for the next chapter? Until Friday!**_

 _ **Next Chapter:Well and Truly**_

 _ **Preview:**_ _"I'm so tired, Kili. I tried to fight the world. And I lost. And I just want it to end."_

 _"Then rest."_


	15. Well and Truly

_**Tolkien and Jackson still own the characters and world.**_

 **WARNING:** _ **Gory death in first section. Skip past it if that sort of thing freaks you out a lot.**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

WELL AND TRULY

There was the door. Standing before him. Calling him. Urging him closer. Beckoning him in with the feeling of home and love. Part of him wanted to protest, to push back against this lovely, tingling drawing force, but he found himself moving to unlatch the door despite his protests. The wood of the door swung open, and he was washed with those all too familiar sounds and smells. Almost as if intoxicated, he stepped into the darkness.

In a blink, the shadows had cleared away to reveal the strikingly peaceful inside of the home. His heart sunk at the emptiness of it, though. Why was he alone? Where were the others?

When he turned, he found the door shut tight behind him. A chill crept down his spine, raising the hairs at the nape of his neck, and setting his heart beating viciously against his ribcage. It was almost like he had lost control of his body as he felt himself turning back to the room. His jaw and throat stayed locked closed against a scream as he found he now _wasn't_ alone.

There, on the ground in front of him were his uncle, his brother, and the child. Blood was spreading steadily over the floor from where their corpses lay, burbling from the massive lacerations carved into their flesh. He could feel the blood, sticky on his hands, and spattered up over his face. Nausea roiled in his stomach, his heart tearing as the three pairs of dead eyes on the floor bored into him. "Stop," he was able to choke out, though his voice sounded strange in his own ears. " _Stop."_

His jaw clamped shut, then, leaving him to choke out whimpers as the blood began dripping down from his chin, hitting the ground in deafening droplets.

"What was that, Master Dwarf?"

There. A voice to his left. Gwen. But not Gwen. It was _wrong._

"Cat got your tongue?"

A laugh, low and rough, sounding like Gwen, but terribly _not_ Gwen rang through the room, and a sound choked out of Kili's throat as the darkness receded. There she was, crouched between the bodies of Thorin and Fili. The blood was all over her. Coating her hands, smeared up to her elbows, dampening the soft curls of her hair, spattered up her cheeks, staining her shirt. She looked up at hi, sympathy clear in her gaze. "Are you alright?"

He couldn't answer. His whole body was locked in one position.

Gwen stood, sweeping the dead child off the ground, onto a comfortable position on her hip. Its head and arms lolled back, blood running in rivulets into Gwen's clothing and down onto the floor. Gwen walked easily to him, her strides lithe and familiar, a soft smile on her lips. "You're being so quiet."

As she neared, the smell of blood, sharp and metallic rose up cloyingly into his senses. She was too close. The blood-soaked tips of her hair were nearly brushing against him, the pale limbs of the child in her arms swinging out to nearly brush against him.

Gwen tilted her head a bit, her eyes considering him, and he got a good look as her pale, sharply pointed ears in the nest of her slightly matted hair. "Is something wrong?"

He was locked in place as she neared him all the more, the smell of her hair clashing with the blood in his nostrils. All of the sudden, any sweet Gwen-like expression dropped from her face, a viciously sharp-toothed grin curling her lips, her eyes darkening to hollow black. Her voice came out a guttural whisper, seeing to come from everywhere around him. "Don't you _trust me?"_

* * *

Kili shot into a sitting position, a yelp tearing out of his throat. He scrabbled about, clutching at his hair, his shirt, his blanket, anything. His skin was crawling, heart pounding nauseatingly in his throat, and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut. No. No, no, no no _no._

 _Don't you_ trust me?

A surge of guilt, confusion fear, and disgust surged up in his gut. He needed Gwen. The real Gwen. The one who could make all those visions of her, splattered in the blood of those he loved, from her toes to her wickedly pointed ears, disappear.

Yet more doubt rose up, another voice joining the cacophony already in his head. _A lie,_ it whispered. _She's a lie. You know it. You've seen the evidence. You know she's just a lie._

 _No,_ he groaned in response, clutching desperately at his hair. _I need her. I...I love her._

 _You_ _don't even know her! How can you love her if you know she's lying to you?_

 _She's not lying to me...she's not..._

 _You always were terrible at lying to me._

"Shut _up!"_

Silence fell across his thoughts as a single idea rose into prominence. He was done with this. Done with these voices, with this guessing, this wishing, this hoping. He was done with _secrets._ Relationships and propriety be damned. He had to know.

His eyes snapped open, into the faint darkness of night in the forest. It was almost like the dream, the way he moved without thinking, without trying, but he knew this was reality. Dreams never hurt this sharply.

Gwen's bedroll was empty. It was there, just as it should have been, but it was empty.

The energy crumpled out of him, and he stumbled into a tree. Where was she? He needed her. He needed to know, even if it killed him. Maybe it _was_ killing him.

A voice filtered into his ears. It was distant though. As if echoing through a mine shaft, miles long before reaching him. His eyes struggled to focus, but when they did, he found his brother at his side, looking concerned. Maybe he should have been. Kili was going mad.

"Where is she?"

He couldn't even hear his own words being said over the roar of need in his skull, the murmur of voices, and the sound of his own blood roaring hot, and icy cold through his veins. Fili didn't answer, so Kili had to repeat himself. "Gwen. Where is she?"

Fili pointed offhandedly in the direction of the trees to their right, and Kili was off before he could register Fili's continued words of concern towards him. His vision narrowed as he crashed through the forest, simply intent on one thing. He needed to find Gwen.

In an instant, everything snapped into its place. He was at once sharply aware of everything around him that had been left unobserved by his all consuming need for clarity. His hair hung loose around him, being tousled gently by the fingers of the wind. His breath was harsh and ragged in his chest, legs burning with exertion. The trees and undergrowth were thick around him, shadows high. The only light was the occasional sliver of moonlight that had fought its way through the leaves to brush against the dusky forest floor. The only sound was the rustle of wind in trees and his rough breathing.

Once the panic in his chest had managed to subside slightly, he was able to take in the sight of Gwen, huddled with her back against a tree. She looked up to him, her dark eyes wide and glassy, the moonlight shining off her tear-stained cheeks, her lips parted slightly in protest.

There wasn't the time for sound though, and the minutes themselves itself seemed to slow down as Kili was suddenly on his knees before her, grabbing her shoulders with both of his hands, and kissing her soundly on the lips.

Mahal.

Something hard and warm burst open in his chest, as the tumult in his head truly went silent.

He could feel _everything._ Her shoulders tensing as he leaned forward further, tilting his head to angle their lips better. Her hair, brushing and tickling against his skin. The way her warm tears rubbed off of her cheek and onto the tip of his nose. Her smell rose up like a haze around him, warm and clear, and entirely intoxicating. Her slender hands found his hair, drawing him all the closer to her, as her fingertips scraped against his scalp.

There. This was the clarity he needed. Finally, he could think. A cold hand reached for his heart, trying to crush out that joy as a thought rose into his head. He'd come for the truth.

His muscles protested terribly, but he managed to slide his right hand up her neck, his thumb running over her delicate jaw line. She tilted into him all the more, scraping her teeth past his lower lip as her fingers clenched into his scalp in a way that made his toes curl, heart dropping all the further in his gut. He didn't want the truth. Not now. He didn't want to ruin this perfection he found in her.

 _I'm sorry._

In a smooth movement, he shifted his hand, combing his fingers into the hair at her temple. Gwen's reaction was immediate. She jerked away from the kiss, a sound of surprise squeezing from her throat and she batted his hand away from her. Cold air rushed into the space she left, and Kili ignored the tears suddenly pressing into the back of his eyes in favor of locking gazes with her. Her eyes burned with completely unguarded emotions for a second, a hundred flashing through in that way that he loved, before her walls came up, turning her gaze cold. Kili drew his hand out of her grip as gently as he could. "Gwen..."

Comprehension suddenly dawned over her, and the defenses fell back down. Kili could see everything. The guilt, the anger, the fear, and pain. Such awful pain. His eyes didn't leave hers as he lifted his hands back up, trembling as he combed back the hair hanging down over her ears. His heart throbbed painfully. He didn't want to look. Didn't want to see what was just a head-tilt away. Still... _the truth. It's what you came for._

That voice, with a ringing sense of finality, fell silent, and then it was just Kili and Gwen. He swallowed hard. Before he could summon up the strength to do anything else, Gwen tilted her head towards him.

There, before his eyes, just like he'd seen weeks ago in the caves, illuminated by the moonlight, revealed by his hand, the delicate pointed tip of her ears.

Pointed. Mahal, no. No...

"Kili..."

His hand fell away from her, though words choked out in his throat. For once, there were no voices filling in the silence. What was there for them to say now? It was all over.

He fixed his gaze back on to Gwen, trying to use her as an anchor, to keep him bound to sanity. "Wh...Gwen..."

"It's not..." Her voice drained out into silence, as yet more pain gripped her eyes. "It's not what you're thinking."

More tears tried to force their way out of his eyes. "Please. No more lies."

Shock flitted across her faace. "No! That's not it. It's just...my father. Yes. He was...an elf."

Hearing it out loud was almost like a physical blow. An elf. Mahal, what a mess.

"But my mum was a human."

Kili raised a brow.

"So, I guess..." She chuckled bitterly. "I suppose I'm only _half_ a traitor."

A traitor. Thorin would say so. "Aye."

Darkness swelled over her gaze, and she'd hardly opened her mouth to speak, when Kili was pressing another kiss against her lips, wasting no time to grip into the silky mass of her hair with both hands, slanting his mouth against hers. He couldn't stand seeing her heart break. If her heart broke his would too.

He forced himself to part from the searing kiss, his hands trailing down her back, and his nose brushing hers as he spoke. "I don't care though. I..." he struggled to find the courage to speak, his eyes searching her face. He breathed out a sigh, letting his eyelids fall closed. "Mahal. Gwen, I think I love you."

Her voice was hoarse when she finally spoke. "I shouldn't love you."

Kili's eyes snapped back open, freezing. "But..."

Gwen sighed, as if she were giving up part of her soul. "I do, though. Valar, I do."

His breath hitched in his throat, the warm gooey feeling inside him only growing. He wanted to laugh. He wanted to smile. He wanted to get up and run to every corner of Middle Earth, telling everyone he saw that she loved him. Gwen, this beautiful, wonderful, _perfect_ creature actually loved him

However, he found himself held in place by the unavoidable weight of her gaze. The sudden glee of that moment faded to be replaced by the crushing feeling of consequences. Bloody consequences. Couldn't it all just be perfect for once? It was another moment before he could pull himself away, letting out a breathy chuckle, and sliding his hands off of her waist to scrub over his face. "Well, this is a right mess."

Gwen didn't reply to that, and they sat in silence for a few minutes before she spoke, voice hardly louder than the wind. "You're not going to run?"

"Maybe I should," Kili sighed into his hands. He lifted his head slowly. The tears had dried off of Gwen's cheeks, but her eyes glittered, dark and glassy, staring into the ground. Everything about her spoke surrender. The hunch of her shoulders, the tremble of her hands. The hollow, hauntedness of her gaze. Kili reached a hand out, tilting her head as he once again drew back the hair over her ear. It was still there. Still pointed. "Aye, I definitely should." A sigh hushed out of her, her eyes sliding shut. "But honestly," she tensed as he continued. "I don't think I could."

As the silence fell back down between them, Kili crawled, silent as he could, to sit next to her, his back against the tree. Gwen let another pause lie between them, before she spoke. "I never lied, you know."

Kili opened his mouth to speak, but Gwen beat him to it. "No. That's not true. I lied once." Kili raised a brow and waited for her to continue. "The ring..." he leaned over to see her fiddling with the bit of jewelry around her finger. "It's mine."

She fell silent then, and Kili was even more confused than before. "Aye, I should hope so. Did Nori-"

 _"No._ It's _mine._ It never was my mother's. It was given to _me_."

"Oh." That managed to stun him speechless. The dark band around her finger suddenly held all the more weight. "So you're..."

She stopped him with a shake of her head. "Not any more. I...I broke the engagement. Well, ran away from it, really. It...It couldn't have worked."

He could see the pain of memories brightening her gaze as she stared absently at the small bit of metal around her finger, and Kili fought to find words. "Gwen, I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. It was years ago. Even the worst of wounds heals with time."

"That doesn't mean they don't leave their scars."

A slight laugh let out of her lips as she closed her hand, shutting the ring from view. "Believe me, Master Dwarf, I am familiar with scars. Scars of every kind. Some are honorable, some are filled with sadness, and some...some are only regret."

She tipped her head back against the tree, to look up into the canopy of leaves, letting her hair fall back. Kili felt a twinge of curiosity, and reached up, lifting the hair away from her ear. She flinched a bit, but otherwise didn't react. This one, though pointed like the other, was different. A thin line of raised white skin traced straight across under the point, opening into a bit of a nicked cut where her ear grew out from her temple. He ran a finger over it, murmuring, "Now, speaking of scars, what's this?"

A shiver wracked through her, but she didn't pull away. "That's...I was young. My parents had died. The woman who looked after me had withered away into old age and passed before my eyes. And I blamed all of this on my father's heritage. I thought...It was daft. So daft. I thought it'd be made better if I could get rid of these _damned_ pointed ears. I...I took a knife from the kitchen and started cutting away." Kili sucked in a breath. The scar went almost all the way across her ear. "It hurt so much, and there was blood everywhere. I got most of the way through that one, then only got a bit on the other before the pain became too much. The man looking after me found me on the floor, bleeding out, crying hysterically."

Gwen's tone was almost a deadpan, but Kili knew well enough that she was trying to keep the pain out of her tone. Her eyes told everything. He let the hair fall back over her ear, to rub his hand in soothing circles on the center of her back. Gwen took in a ragged breath before continuing. "They healed, of course, but I was left with the scars. They remind me that I can't change...what I am. That I'll never escape it. I hate them."

Kili sucked in a breath. Her voice was raw pain, cutting into his heart. He could feel her trembling, and squeezed his eyes shut as a wave of emotions rolled up on him. "Please, Gwen. Please don't say that."

"It's true," she shot back, tone laced with bitterness. "I _hate_ my ears, my scars. I hate what they represent. I hate what they make me."

The word 'hate' cut deeper into his heart each time she spat it out.

"I bloody _hate_ it all, Kili."

Something inside him snapped, and he pulled her down into his arms, just as a muffled sob broke from her lips, the tears in her eyes spilling down her cheeks. It wasn't perfect. Far from it. Their spines were bent at strange angles, Gwen's hair was _everywhere_ and they were both shaking like leaves as too many emotions broke out of their dam to wrack through them. He just clutched her against his chest, keeping his cheek rested against the top of her head, and let her cry shuddering, hiccupping sobs into his shirt. He could feel the heat of her tears soaking through the fabric, but couldn't find it in him to care. All he could do was hold onto her as tightly as he could, as the weight of the world settled back down onto his shoulders.

They stayed like that for a few long minutes, the occasional stray tear trickling out of Kili's eyes as the girl he loved fell apart before him. "What are we going to _do?"_ Her voice was hoarse, still a bit thick with tears, ringing with pure and utter defeat.

Kili sighed heavily, smoothing her hair down. "I don't know, love."

"Brilliant," Gwen remarked with a dry chuckle.

"We'll figure it out though."

Gwen drew a bit out of his grasp upon hearing that, looking searchingly up into his eyes. "Will we? Will we really?"

Kili struggled to find the right words. "I...I hope."

Gwen choked out another humorless laugh, her head dropping back down against his chest, her hands fisting in the hem of his shirt. "I'm so tired, Kili." She was hollow, now. "Valar, I'm so tired. I'm sick of running, and hiding, and lying, and thinking, and..." Her voice choked off with a gasping sob. "I tried to fight the world. And I lost. And I just want it to _end._ "

Kili began drawing slow circles in the center of her back, just like his mother always had when he needed comforting as a child. "Then rest."

"Kili, I-"

He shushed her gently, keeping his voice a murmur. "Stop _thinking_ so much. I know you're tired. So...stop fighting. It's time for you to rest."

She seemed to sink into him, the last of her defenses dropping down. A sigh breathed out of him. Finally, he had Gwen. No lies, no tension, no false facades of strength. This was well and truly _Gwen._

"You've fought well, love. Now close your eyes. I'll keep you safe."

 _Always._

* * *

 _ **Hmm. Well, that happened. It amused me a bit that this chapter, arguably the most important of the story, is also the shortest. I suppose I could have stuck it onto the end of the last one, but that just didn't feel right to me. I think this needed its own chapter, even if it is a bit of a stump.**_

 _ **I am a bit nervous about how this turned out, so if you read it, and thought**_ **anything** _ **about it other than "Huh. Okay, time to go do math homework," I'm really begging you to tell me what you thought, either in a review or a PM. Love you guys! (For the record, I am a derp, and accidentally said that the next chapter's up Friday. Nope, it's going up on Tuesday as usual. I just don't know what day it is. Sorry! Till Tuesday!)**_

 _ **Next Chapter: All's Well**_

 _ **Preview:**_ _"He's stubborn. He's far too much like me."_

 _"Like you?"_

 _"I'll have to tell him I'm sorry."_

 _"Are you?"_

 _"No," she scoffed, with a smirk. "Of course not."_

 _Kili's frown only deepened, and he rubbed his forehead tiredly. "I really don't follow."_

 _"I know."_


	16. All's Well

_**Tolkien and Jackson own everything. Characters, world, languages, everything. I'm just an intellectual property thief with wifi and a laptop. (Please don't sue me.)**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

 **ALL'S WELL**

When Kili cracked his eyes open, he could tell the darkness of the night was beginning to fade out of the sky. Dawn would be there soon. The morning dew had settled over him, dampening his skin, clothing, and hair, the air gripping tight and chilly around him. Gwen was warm leaning against his chest, her breathing slow and relaxed. He didn't have the heart to make her move, even if his hands were freezing, splayed out over her back, and his legs had lost feeling after only half an hour of her weight atop them.

He hadn't really slept much, and he supposed he would pay for it later, but it was worth it, to have those frantic voices in his head silent. He'd had a good long time through the night to think about Gwen's secret, and the repercussions it might have on them. He'd compiled a list of questions in his mind to ask her, not too many questions mind you, due to the fact that he kept getting distracted by the feeling of her warm breath hushing over his neck, or finding himself fiddling with the mane of hair that fell over her back, right under his hands. With one last bitter look at the lightening sky, Kili tilted his head down to the sleeping girl in his arms, giving her a slight nudge with his shoulder. "Gwen? It's time to wake up now, love."

She stirred slightly, but he only felt her hands clutch tighter into his shirt, her cheek nuzzling closer against his neck. A smile twitched at his lips as he recalled a time almost like this, back in the inn, trying to wake the near-stranger of a girl that had drifted off to sleep on him. It felt like years ago. Kili jostled her a bit again, tugging lightly at her hair with one hand. "C'mon. We've got to get back to camp."

A slight hum rose up from her, though she only cuddled closer, flinching away from the cold air around her. As a last-resort effort, Kili shifted his hold around her waist a bit, till he could start tickling her ribs with both hands. This seemed to do the trick, as Gwen sprung into movement, jerking away from him, a startled yelp tearing out of her throat. She'd batted his hands away in an instant, clutching her sides protectively as she scrambled off his lap. _"Kili!"_

Kili ignored her outrage in favor of moving his legs, reveling in the feeling of blood tingling back into them. "Mahal, I thought I'd have to get them amputated."

"Dramatic," Gwen commented drily, seeming to have recovered from her slightly rude awakening. "You should have said something if it was really that awful."

"You were far too peaceful to wake unnecessarily," Kili explained, feeling pins and needles swarm stingingly in his feet. "Plus, you weren't nearly as heavy as Fili. Couldn't feel my toes for a week after, I swear."

Gwen paused, a deep frown marring her face, before she spoke. "I'm caught between asking for the story behind that, or just assuming that it would be best if I pretended not to hear you at all."

"He's my brother," Kili shrugged. "Things happen, you know?"

"I don't, really," Gwen sighed. "But I may have to get that story out of you on a later day."

Kili grinned, flexing his toes in his boots. "I look forward to it."

"We should be getting back though," Gwen said, sending a worried glance up to the sky. "The others will be waking soon, and it might seem a bit odd, us marching in together at the crack of dawn."

A smirk slid over Kili's face. "Oh, aye. Who _knows_ what sort of ideas they might get as to what our night-time activities-"

Gwen cut him off. "Valar. Please stop there."

Kili faked a pouting frown. "What? Don't like that idea?"

She shook her head as she sunk back into the tree next to him. "You're hopeless."

A protest was ready on Kili's lips, but he was saved from it as Gwen slid herself against his side. Kili smiled, wrapping an arm over her shoulders. It was so unfair how perfectly she seemed to fit right there into him. Why'd she have to end up being his perfect girl? Why not some simple, pretty lass from back at home? Or even a flirty village girl who'd blush and stumble at his compliments just like he intended? Why'd it have to be this strange, impossible, unreachable creature? Said creature nestled further into him, a shiver going through her wiry frame, and Kili couldn't resist his next words. "Hopelessly in love with you, anyway."

Gwen scoffed though she didn't distance herself from him. "A bit sappy, don't you think?"

"I thought it was clever."

Kili knew her well enough to imagine she'd be rolling her eyes at his mock-hurt tone. "You would." They were in silence for a bit, then, neither wanting to leave the comfort of the other's embrace. Suddenly, Gwen caught up his hand, the one still bandaged from the previous night. "What did happen to your hand, anyway?"

Kili winced a bit, fixing his gaze to the trees above them. "I might have just...punched a tree."

"Why in-Valar, why would you do that?"

"It was your fault," Kili grumbled, as Gwen started unwrapping the cloth from around his knuckles. "I was really upset yesterday."

As the cool air brushed his previously covered skin, it seemed Gwen was choking back a laugh. "What?" he prompted, looking back down at her.

It seemed that was the final straw, and she burst into laughter, her head falling back onto his shoulder, as the sound of her mirth rang off the trees about them. "You're such a bloody _fool!"_

Kili rolled his eyes. Even when he was injured and had spent all night keeping her warm, she was still able to insult him. He gave her head a nudge with his shoulder. "But I'm _your_ fool."

When her laughter had died down a bit, leaving a glowing smile lighting her face, she sank back into his side. "Aye. You are." After a moment, she lifted his hand up to her lips, placing a gentle kiss onto the bruised skin.

Kili frowned a bit bemusedly. "What's that for?"

"A kiss," Gwen explained, as if it should be obvious. "To make it feel better."

Her smile spread onto his face, though it turned into a bit of a smirk as he leaned in closer to speak in a low voice. "If that's the case, you know, I think I might have bit my tongue the other day. Mind making that feel better?"

Gwen immediately planted her face down into her palms, though Kili could still see her bright blush. "Ki- _Valar,_ Kili! Control yourself!"

This time, Kili was the one laughing, holding her all the tighter into his chest as she tried to hide her reddened cheeks. "I'm sorry, love. It wasn't an entirely terrible idea though, aye?"

She managed to pull her arm out of his grasp enough to give him a sharp punch in the shoulder, though she kept her face hidden. Kili set his head on top of hers, grinning into her hair. He hoped it would always be this fun to make her blush.

They were like that, in contented silence for a while, until Gwen shifted herself a bit away from him. "You know, if your legs have gotten back feeling, we should start back sooner rather than later."

"Have I ever said that I hate it when you're right?"

Gwen snorted in amusement. "Once or twice."

"Fine," Kili grumbled, extracting his arm from around her.

As always, there was a rush of cold air into the space Gwen left as she hauled herself up onto her feet. She offered a hand, and Kili took it gratefully, leaning heavily on her as he adjusted his weight onto his still wobbly legs. He didn't let her hand slip away as they began walking the way back towards the camp, partly because he felt he might crumple to the ground at any moment, but also because he might have been just a _bit_ obsessed with the way his hand totally engulfed hers, her slender fingers weaving through his thick, strong ones. Kili quickly remembered something. "Mind if I ask you a few questions I've thought up?"

Gwen's tone was touched with curiosity, but she nodded slowly. "Probably not."

"Good. So, how old are you, exactly?"

Gwen stiffened, and he half expected her to admonish him just for asking as she had the last time. Instead, she breathed out a sigh, before answering in a hardly audible tone. "One hundred and twenty-eight this spring."

Kili gaped, his feet catching on a root, nearly sending him stumbling. He'd been expecting her to be a bit young looking for her age, considering her immortal heritage, but he'd put her at fifty, sixty at the very oldest. But one-hundred and twenty-eight? "Durin's beard, you're _old!"_

"Well, _sorry,"_ she grumbled. "This sort of thing'll happen when your father was immortal."

Kili winced. Ah, perhaps he could have phrased that a bit more carefully. "Sorry, not like that. It's just...You're older than _Nori."_

"I figured," Gwen sighed. "Anything else to ask?"

"Ah, yes, actually. Who was your mum?"

"Leah, son of Calthorn and Freah," Gwen explained in a fairly matter-of fact tone. "Technically, a woman of Rohan, but she didn't stay there long. Much preferred to wander the countryside."

Kili nodded, but hesitated slightly before asking his next question. "What about your father?"

Gwen shrugged. "Venelir, of Mirkwood."

Gwen had said that in a flat tone, but Kili once again found himself stumbling in shock. " _Mirkwood?_ You mean-"

"Aye," she cut him off, her hand squeezing a bit tighter to his. "These are the paths he once walked. But that...was a very long time ago. He and his descendants were not considered welcome in this forest since the day my father chose my mother over his king."

His descendants...that meant Gwen. "You said that you've been in this forest before. Did they..."

"I came here many years ago seeking a safe haven." She shook her head slowly, breathing out a sigh. "I found none."

Kili desperately wanted to prod further into that, but her tone sounded reluctant, even to give him that information. "Where have you been since then?"

Gwen shrugged. "Up north, mostly, for the past few years. The Dunedain rangers know me, and let me travel freely. I take odd jobs, escort missions and the such. Just generally tried to lay low and not stick in anyone's minds for too long."

Kili smirked, nudging her with his shoulder. "Well, you certainly messed up on that with us."

"I did say _try._ That implies that I wasn't necessarily successful. But," she stopped them, turning about to face him, her hand slipping out of his. "Before we get back, we need to talk about Thorin."

Kili frowned. "What about him?"

"That...nothing we were discussing yesterday. He wants me to stay away from you. He thinks I'm a distraction."

"But-"

"And I intend to keep my distance from you once we get back in camp." Gwen's tone was sharp, but Kili was able to recognize her upset at the idea. "So you need to make sure you stay focused."

Kili's frown only deepened. "I _have been_ focused!"

"Well," Gwen began, not quite meeting his eyes. "You do seem to drift off quite a lot."

Kili narrowed his eyes. "It was those _damned_ voices. Always chattering on..."

"You have voices in your head?" Gwen asked, sounding amused by the prospect.

"Mostly because of you," he huffed. "You really have had me all out of sorts."

Gwen drew a bit closer to him, a half-smile touching at her lips, something warm and sweet in her gaze. "I could only say the same."

"I believe this brings me to my last question," Kili breathed, his hands ghosting over her hips, bringing her even nearer, till their noses were just about touching, despite their height difference. "Can I kiss you?"

Gwen rolled her eyes, though no heat left them, chuckling, "Cheeky bastard." However, she silenced any protests from him by leaning down, pressing a soft, dizzyingly warm kiss onto his lips.

Her mouth parted gently from his but Kili was hardly going to let her go, spanning his hands over her ribcage to pull her against him. A soft sound rose out of her throat, her hands trailing up his arms as she leaned down into him. Her lips were soft and dry against his, her skin like velvet against the rough scratch of his stubble as he worried her lower lip gently with his teeth. Her hands had come up to his collar, her cool fingers brushing trails of goosebumps onto his skin. Far too soon, she drew back, her voice low and a bit gravelly as she spoke. "The dawn approaches," she chided, her hands sliding from his collar.

Disappointment flooded him at the sudden lack of her, but he was somewhat comforted by the blush burning on her cheeks as she stepped a respectable distance from him, clearing her throat as she straightened out her shirt. It seemed he finally figured out how to make her blush properly.

* * *

For once, something went right for the two of them, and it seemed that whoever was meant to be on watch had fallen asleep. Kili had gotten to go lay back in his bedroll, and he sunk into it rather gratefully. The sleep he'd gotten the previous night was spotty at best. He had felt even more exhausted after his nightmare, and his churning thoughts kept him from falling asleep completely as Gwen rested on him through the night. Still, his rest was short lived as Gwen went through the dwarves, nudging them awake with a boot, till they were stirring, grumbling at having been woken. It seemed Gwen's plan of avoidance was already in effect, as she didn't bother going to him, leaving Fili shaking him awake. "Kee, it's dawn."

Kili groaned faintly, trying to recall what he acted like when he was just waking up. He resorted to scrubbing a hand over his face as he rolled over onto his back. "So _early..."_

"So," Fili began, his voice fairly low. "Going to tell me what in Mahal's sweet name happened last night?"

"Don't know what you're talking about," Kili mumbled, pulling his cold, slightly damp blankets closer up to his chin, avoiding his brother's piercing gaze.

"Yes you do. You were throwing an awful panic, stumbling and bumbling around, practically foaming at the mouth, gasping Gwen's name, then you ran off to the forest, and didn't come back at least until my watch ended."

Kili spared a quick glance to meet his brother's eyes, but found himself squirming in discomfort, and stared instead at the trees above. "What about it?"

"Oh, don't be such a prick," Fili huffed. "What was going on? What happened?"

"I just...I had done some thinking, and needed to talk to her a bit." Well, that wasn't completely a lie.

"Right," Fili said, tone laced with disbelief. "And I suppose you're going to give me just as much of a lie for an answer if I asked what two were doing out in the forest all night?"

Kili smirked, his discomfort fading. "I think you could imagine a thing or two, brother. They wouldn't necessarily be _true,"_ he added. "But feel free to imagine."

He got a sharp kick in the side for his trouble. "You're terrible." Kili opened his mouth to protest, but Fili beat him to it. "But you are better, then?"

"Better than what?"

"Than you were yesterday. You were a _mess."_

"Wow," Kili commented, raising a brow at Fili. "You really know how to make someone feel good."

Fili only rolled his eyes, giving Kili another kick in the side before he set to gathering up his bedroll. "Shut up and get to work. Thorin's not looking to be in a good mood."

This got Kili to sit up, but he felt a frown form on his lips, muttering to himself, "Is he _ever_ in a good mood?"

* * *

It was much better to be travelling without being at odds with Gwen. He had to pretend he was still irritated with her, or course, and she treated him just as coldly, but the forest got under his skin a bit less, remembering what she felt like, snoring softly against his chest, or the all intoxicating scent of her hair, or the way she always seemed to surrender into his kisses, her lips pliant and soft against his. This, of course, did little to combat the lack of sleep he'd received the previous night. He simply focused on either Balin's gray head in front of him, or the overgrown path under his feet. He had, perhaps, gotten a bit clumsy, stumbling occasionally, his words slurring. He wasn't too much worse than the others, though. Ori had walked straight into a tree, to Dori's utter dismay and Ori's sputtering embarrassment. Oin had asked at least five times for a dwarf who hadn't said anything to repeat what they'd said, a bit louder. Bilbo had tripped over his massive feet much more than usual. To the entire company's shock, Bofur's hat had slid from his head _twice,_ something that was about as rare as a mild winter in the Misty Mountains. It seemed the nights of disturbed sleep, along with the dismal shadows that were everywhere in this forest were taking their toll. Kili only hoped they would be out of the forest before they all lost it entirely.

Needless to say, they were all terribly relieved to stop around midday for a break, and a small portion of their rations. "We press on in fifteen minutes," Thorin announced, ready and raring to go as per usual. Did the dwarf never run out of energy? Or was he just fuelled on by his hatred of elves and everything pertaining to them?

"Twenty," Gwen said sharply, eyes fixed on Thorin as she dropped her pack, leaning back against a tree.

Silence fell over the whole company as Thorin turned slowly to face the girl. "What was that?"

"We need more than fifteen minutes rest. Thirty would be preferable, although twenty would be fine enough." Gwen didn't back down, using her height a bit to her advantage as she looked down at the Dwarf King.

"Fine enough?" Thorin repeated. "Would it be?"

"Yes," Gwen bit back.

"And what gives you the authority to tell me what I can and cannot do with my men?" Thorin kept his tone low, but Kili'd had enough experience with this sort of thing to recognize that Thorin's temper was steadily rising.

"Common sense. We're all exhausted, Master Dwarf. At least give us this time to rest."

There was a slight rise in grumblings from the others, protesting the concept of being too tired out to carry on. Kili, too, felt a bit affronted, but as he looked about to his companions, he knew she was right. They needed rest.

"This forest is thick with lies and deceit. You may have sore feet, girl, but we will continue, whether or not you remain with us, until we escape to a place of clearer mind."

"Thorin-" Bilbo suddenly piped up.

Thorin cut him off with a sharp glare. "I will hear no more from either of you. We depart in fifteen minutes."

Kili couldn't help but notice the anger coiled in Gwen's muscles as she watched Thorin retreat to Dwalin's side. It seemed the tension between Thorin and Gwen was only growing. Now, Bilbo had come over to speak to her, and though she smiled pleasantly enough, Kili could tell her annoyance hadn't faded in the least. He was overwhelmed with the feeling that this was due to be very, very not good.

* * *

The hour was likely growing late when Kili discovered his bad feeling was not misplaced. He'd been staring at the trees passing them by, in all their hypnotic monotony for what might have been ten minutes, or it might've been an hour. It was so hard to tell sometimes.

Ori's voice spoke up above the silence swarming in Kili's head, fairly timid, and perhaps a bit dazed. "I don't mean to alarm anyone, but I thought I should mention the fact that I've just noticed that it seems-"

"Spit it out!" Thorin barked back to the younger dwarf.

Ori visibly flinched, before squeaking out, "We're not on the path any longer!"

Kili jerked his gaze down to his feet, and kicked aside the covering of dead leaves, to reveal only dirt and tree roots. No cobblestones. Mahal.

Sounds of alarm and upset rose around him as the other dwarves discovered the same thing as him. "Pair off!" Thorin ordered, his voice thundering above the panic beginning to bubble up. "We all go in opposite directions, until we find the path!"

"No," Gwen said sharply. "Do _not_ go anywhere. That'll only end in the lot of us getting lost."

"Have I not told you to hold your tongue, girl?" Thorin snarled, turning on Gwen.

Kili was close enough to see that the fire in Gwen's eyes matched Thorin's temper as she looked down on him. A hush fell over the Dwarves, as they watched, with wide eyes, the quickly escalating argument. "Yes, you have. But I'm telling you that what you proposed is quite possibly the daftest thing we could try right now."

"You are trying my patience," Thorin growled, not backing down in the slightest from her glare.

"I could say the same. We just need to stop, take a rest for a bit, and figure out what to do once our heads have cleared."

"We haven't the time for this delay. Durin's day approaches us." Something clicked in Thorin's mind, and he tilted his head a bit, tone calculating. "Tell me, did Gandalf not assign you to keep us from going astray in this forest? And have we not gone astray?"

"I tried! I _tried_ to keep us on the path," Gwen snapped, her voice ringing off the trees. "But it is impossible for any of us to keep our way when we're all tripping over our own feet, and running into bloody _trees_ because we're all exhausted! This _damned_ forest is taking its toll on us, whether or not you want to admit to it. But as you have discovered, walking us all to a state of near inebriation has only gotten us lost!"

"Rest," Thorin scoffed, rolling his eyes, and coolly turning his back on Gwen to pace slightly. "That's all you ever have for a plan."

It seemed Gwen tried to calm her temper, taking in a deep breath, and bringing her tone under measured control. "That's because it's what we _need_ right now."

Thorin scoffed humorlessly. "All this talk of 'we'. You must try not to drag _my_ men into your absurd generalizations. I understand that you are not as travel hardened as the rest of us, but we cannot afford-"

Gwen cut him off there, her composure gone in a snap, the fire in her eyes reaching an all time high. "Thorin Oakenshield, there are many things you can call me, but weak is _not_ one of them. I have been stronger than you could ever _imagine_ to be. Strong enough to keep my head in this forest, and see that we are all being practically crippled by this lack of sleep, rest and nutrition that has-"

"Lack of sleep," Thorin repeated his pacing stopping abruptly, tone like ice. "I'm afraid that not all of us have been out on late night escapades quite as much as you. I do not see myself lacking any sleep."

Kili's eyes widened. By late night escapades, could Thorin be referencing he and Gwen's little moment the previous night? How could he know? To Kili's horror, Thorin sent a glance in Kili's direction before setting it back on Gwen, looking a bit smug. Kili's sharp eyes noticed a faint blush rise on Gwen's cheeks, as she sputtered slightly, before freezing almost entirely, her tone turning to ice. "Very well. Have it as you will. Send your company to the ends of the earth to be lost for all eternity, for all I care. I will be staying _here,_ until I gather myself enough to make a rational _sane_ decision on how to get myself back to the path. I will leave you to your own clouded decisions, if that is what you wish."

That spat at Thorin's back, Gwen spun on her heel, marching into the trees. The silence hung for a few long moments, before chatter broke out.

"Mahal," Fili breathed, turning to Kili, wide eyed. "They really don't get along."

Kili glanced to the direction Gwen had stormed off, then back to his uncle, speaking with a somewhat frantic looking Balin. He hadn't seen Thorin this upset since the big argument he's had with Kili's mum before he and his brother were allowed on the quest. Only Thorin and Gwen had none of the obligatory, reluctant sibling fondness that Thorin and Dis had between them. "No. It really doesn't seem as such."

A hand was suddenly tugging on Kili's sleeve, and he turned to see Ori, eyes wider than dinner plates. "Kili, you're going to go after Lady Gwen, aren't you? We just lost the path, and she'll-she'll die out there! And I didn't mean to cause such a trouble, and _please,_ Kili you have to make her come back, it's not safe-"

"Woah, there," Kili interrupted, silencing the younger dwarf. "Breathe, Ori. You're panicking. None of this was your fault. In fact, you could be considered a bit of a hero. You were the only one to notice we'd gotten off track at all. Who knows where we'd be without you?" This seemed to have calmed him a bit, the shaking in his hands fading, his eyes falling back down to a more decent size. Before Ori could open his mouth, Kili continued, mustering the best smile he could manage. "And don't you worry about Gwen. I will go and talk to her a bit, once she's blown off some steam, and she'll be back before you have the chance to miss her."

"We camp here," Thorin announce over the din, his tone still taught. "Nori, Dori, Ori, You're on fire duty. Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, prepare us some dinner."

Kili nearly slumped with relief. That was one less thing to worry about. Honestly, he just needed a good, full night of sleep. They could worry about all this fuss in the morning. Except, of course, the fact that Gwen was still off in the woods alone, and the panicked, pleading look Ori had shot Kili before being dragged off by his brothers was practically pathetic. Kili sighed, clapping his brother on the shoulder after dropping his pack. "Take care of my gear, aye? I'm going to try and take care of Gwen."

"Good luck," Fili said, shooting him a bit of a wry smile.

Kili took off in the direction she'd gone at a trot, feeling much lighter with the weight of his gear gone. It didn't take him too long to find Gwen. She was hunched against a tree, her forearm braced against the bark, her breaths coming fast. She didn't move as Kili approached her a bit cautiously, until he settled a hand on her shoulder. She started a bit, jumping away from him. "Valar, Kili. A little warning next time."

"Still angry?"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Of course. Your uncle's a thickheaded, irrational dolt."

Kili winced a bit at the description, but smiled a bit sheepishly at her as she paced back and forth slightly, wringing her hands. "Sorry."

"He's stubborn," she explained, before stopping in her pacing, sighing heavily. "He's far too much like me."

"Like you?" Kili frowned. Thorin and Gwen weren't that alike, were they?

"I'll have to tell him I'm sorry," she huffed, leaning back into a tree with a heavy thump. It seemed she was set to totally disregard everything he was asking or saying.

"Are you?" Kili asked.

"No," she scoffed, with a smirk. "Of course not."

Kili's frown only deepened, and he rubbed his forehead tiredly. "I really don't follow."

"I know," Gwen said softly, the mask of bitter frustration sliding from her eyes for a moment. "I'll explain later, aye? I just need to get this taken care of as soon as possible." Kili nodded slowly, and a smile touched at Gwen's lips. "Thank you."

She turned on her heel quite suddenly, and Kili almost had to run to catch up as she strode quite purposefully, her hair fluttering out behind her, back in towards camp. He had burst into the small clearing just in time to see Gwen march up to Thorin, not hesitating to begin speaking, almost too quiet for Kili to hear, but not lacking in confidence. "Thorin, I apologize. I lost my temper unnecessarily. I simply want to note that I think we should all try to consider this with clear heads. I meant no disrespect."

Thorin had shrugged Balin off, and was crossing his arms, looking up into Gwen's eyes coldly. "Is that so?"

"I should not have let my emotions get the best of me," Gwen explained, instead of answering his question. "As you are the leader of this company, I will not question any more of your orders, if you will let me continue to travel with you."

Thorin considered her for a few long, tense moments. "Very well." Kili let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding, as the hush over the camp broke once again. Kili crept a bit closer, straining to hear the words being exchanged between Thorin and Gwen, Balin wearily listening at Thorin's side. "What would you have us do, then, if not to split up and cover as much ground as possible?"

"You won't like it," Gwen began. "But we should track our footsteps back, until we find the path again."

Thorin lifted a brow, his tone carrying his lingering annoyance at the proposition. "We are on a tight schedule. I do not know if we can afford that time waste."

"It wouldn't be a waste," she said. "We'll travel much faster on the road, and if we just wander east, there is a chance we'll never get out of this forest at all." Thorin was nodding slowly, so Gwen rushed to continue. "The path cannot be more than a day's travel away considering we were on it this morning."

Balin was looking about as relieved as Kili felt, as Thorin spoke, his tone grudging. "I assume you hold some skill in tracking, girl?"

"It's been my living for long enough to be sure that I can follow the trail of a troupe of fifteen wandering through the undergrowth."

"You know as well as I that this forest is thick with deceit and illusion. Can I trust that this will not cloud your ability?"

"No. But I can only promise my best to you."

Thorin was once again nodding slowly, his eyes slightly narrowed as he thought. Finally he sighed. "Kili has the most experience in tracking. You will take him with you now. Track back as far as you can, but be back before nightfall."

Gwen's breath faltered slightly, but she nodded. "Understood."

Thorin glanced past Gwen, and Kili nearly flinched as Thorin's gaze fell on him, warning. "You will remain focused only on your task. And _only_ your task."

Kili felt his cheeks grow warm under his uncle's suspicious look, and noticed Gwen tense out of the corner of his eye, before she bowed slightly. "As you wish."

She whirled around, breezing past Kili, with a jerk of her head to indicate for him to follow. Kili did as such, and Gwen lead him to where Fili had left their things, shedding her own pack. "Carry only with you what you might need," she ordered, fiddling with the waterskin attached to the side of her pack.

"What's this?" Fili asked as he approached.

"Thorin wants us to track ourselves back, so we can find the path again," Kili explained as he loosened his quiver from his bag, already having set his bow aside.

"He's sending the two of you together?" Fili asked, an eyebrow raised, before speaking to Gwen. "Does he not think you'll start absorbing Kili's soul at first opportunity?"

"Oh, that sentiment remains," Gwen snorted. "But it was the logical thing to do."

"Absorbing my _soul?"_ Kili repeated. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Thorin thinks Gwen's corrupting you," Fili chuckled. "Haven't you noticed? He starts fuming whenever he sees you smile at her."

Oh. Well, after what Gwen had said with Thorin warning her to keep away from him, he had to suppose that made some sense. But still... "I'm not _that_ easily corrupted."

"I'm a pretty nasty corrupting force," Gwen said.

"I have always said that about you _,"_ Fili added, grinning cheekily to himself

Gwen smacked him in the back of the head. "Watch your tongue, Master Dwarf."

"Oh, did I say that out loud?" Fili asked, feigning wide-eyed innocence.

Gwen rolled her eyes, before turning to Kili. "You ready to go?"

Kili nodded. "I think so."

"You two have fun, aye?" That mischievous glint was lighting up Fili's eyes. "I expect you to name the first child after me. Male or female. Just make it Fili."

Kili felt a rush of heat to his face. Mahal, did his brother not know where to bloody _stop?_ Why did humiliating Kili have to amuse him so much?

Gwen ended his red-faced sputtering by grabbing onto his arm, dragging him off in the direction the company had come in. Kili got his feet under him as quick as he could, having to almost jog to keep up with her long, purposeful strides. She'd been right when she said it wouldn't be hard to track the fifteen of them walking along. They'd stamped down a wide berth through the fairly light undergrowth, smashed leaves, broken branches, and tracked mud. After some of the little beasties he'd been forced to track through the forests around the Blue Mountains, sometimes for hours on end, he could likely follow this trail with his eyes closed.

He cast a glance back over his shoulder, just to check that the camp was out of sight, before catching Gwen's arm, pulling her to a sudden stop. Gwen stumbled slightly, but turned back to face him. The question about to fall off her lips was abruptly cut off by Kili leaning up into her, catching her into a kiss. He tangled his hands in the hair streaming down her shoulders, trying to ignore the fact that he had to stand on his toes to be able to kiss her. Instead, he focused on how cold her lips were against his, the silk-like mass of her hair, the way her hands had come to graze over his chest and stomach, as if she was unsure where to put them. This changed, her hands fisting into the front of his coat to yank him closer as he scratched his rough fingertips along the nape of her neck. Kili found a smile growing over his face. No matter how many times they kissed, it seemed each one of them was enough to turn him into a giddy tween, fawning over the idea of being kissed by a pretty lass. _An_ older _lass, technically_ , he reminded himself. _One hundred and twenty eight..._ Mahal, she sure didn't look her age.

Gwen drew her lips away from his, breaths coming in soft gasps through her parted lips as she rested her forehead against his. Kili grinned up at her, just as breathless as he combed his fingers up through her hair. Gwen twitched slightly at the contact, and her voice had a lovely, sort of faint sound to it when she spoke, her lips murmuring only inches from his. "You know, I do believe this could count as-" her words choked off, eyelids fluttering closed as Kili amused himself, tugging gently at the hairs right at her nape. "As getting _distracted,"_ she finished, voice almost trembling.

Kili rolled his eyes, unable to keep the cheeky smile off his lips. It was brilliant, seeing her all out of sorts for once. "It's not like Thorin can see. Plus, we could both follow this trail in our sleep. I don't see why we can't burn just a little bit of time."

She hummed softly, tilting her head into his hand, running his thumb in a smooth rhythm over her earlobe. "Kili..." a smirk suddenly tugged at her lips, her eyes springing open, mirth sparkling in their depths. "You wouldn't want to prove your brother right here, I'm sure."

Kili froze immediately, as thoughts of his brother filled his head. He swore softly, sliding his hands out of her hair to rest on her shoulders. "Well, that's certainly a mood killer."

"I'll have to let him know," Gwen chuckled. "He'll be pleased to know he's humiliating you, even from yards away."

Kili found himself grinning, despite his embarrassment. "You're terrible. I don't know how I love you."

The amusement drained out of Gwen's face, although she kept her smile, her gaze flicking to the ground. "Neither do I."

She nearly drew away at that, but Kili kept her against him, one of his hands sliding down to the curve of her waist, his forehead bumping back against hers. "Gwen?" She seemed to shy away from him a bit, closing off. Kili sighed. He needed to watch what he said. "Gwen, look at me." Her gaze snapped up to his for a moment, before fixing itself onto his shirt. Kili moved a finger to her chin, tilting up her head until her eyes were forced to meet his. Her wall was down, and Kili was able to recognize in her gaze, fear, nervousness, and no small amount of pain. "There you are," he breathed, letting a wry smile slip onto his lips as he took in every detail of her face, so very close. "I love you. And no matter how stubborn or cruel you are to me, it seems as if I will continue to love you. Aye?"

Her eyes were a bit wide, and searching in his own. A hard swallow wracked her throat, something dark flooding over the other emotions in her eyes, but she managed to breathe out, "Aye. You know, I..." Gwen's voice faded as she once again avoided his eyes, shrinking a bit under his gaze. "Even if I don't act it sometimes, and I know I shouldn't but..." she was barely audible as she spat out her next words. "I love you too."

A full grin burst out on Kili's face, that horribly giddy feeling rising up in him. She'd said it. Actually said it. He leaned in to press a soft kiss against her mouth, fighting down the sudden laughter that tried to bubble into his throat. "That's my girl."

Gwen tugged herself out of his grip, keeping her face to the ground to hide the smile that seemed to be twitching at her lips. "C'mon, then Master Dwarf. We've a trail to follow."

Kili trotted happily to catch up with her.

* * *

 _ **The fluff! It burns! But I think we deserved this cheesy fluffball of a chapter after all that angst. If you think otherwise, worry not. Next chapter gets some reaaaaal angst in there. On another note, classes just started for me. If this is the same for you, fear not, friend, we shall suffer together. Also, don't worry, school shouldn't affect my updating schedule. Because I know you were all worried about that.**_

 _ **It is of great sadness that I admit that this is late. Fanfiction was broken, if you didn't know, but I do hope you still liked this chapter, despite its lateness. Review for the sake of this author who just had quite possibly the worst day of her life. Love you guys! Seeya Friday!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Helpless**_

 _ **Preview:**_ _"Please. Don't wake the others."_

 _"Aye...I won't. Don't worry, lass. Now how's about you tell me where you're headed off to."_

 _"Away. I just...I have to leave."_

 ** _(This one got screwed up like chapter 5 as well...Woops. Sorry. I really have no idea what happened.)_**


	17. Helpless

_**I own as much as you. Unless, of course, you are Peter Jackson or Tolkien come back from the dead. But if you are either of those, why on earth are you even reading this story?**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

 **HELPLESS**

Kili slept like a rock, free of dreams the whole night for the first time in what felt like far too long. He'd gone to sleep with his fingers woven loosely through Gwen's watching the slow rise and fall of her chest as she stared up into the canopy of trees above her. When he woke though, despite his good night's sleep, he was still exhausted. This seemed to show on all of his other companions to, their eyes puffy and bloodshot, movements clumsy. They'd packed up in decent time, wearily eating a cold breakfast and hoisting their packs, before setting out on the trail. He and Gwen had put stone markers along the path they'd found, and luckily so. Though their tracks were plenty obvious only hours before, it was almost as if the forest was straining to erase their mark, leaves falling to cover the trampled ground, thorns regrowing across snapped braches, tracked mud smoothing out. Still, they found the cobblestones back under their feet before the hour could have reached midday.

Gwen hadn't complained a bit when Thorin began pushing their pace once again, though Kili almost found himself protesting. They may have reached the path, but that made no real difference. The air was still cloyingly humid, and each breath felt almost like drowning. The sour, musty smell of the air had Kili's stomach in knots, even if he breathed through his mouth. The trees and shadows blurred together around the edges of Kili's vision, the only thing really in focus being the churning path before him. He could hear his blood roaring in his ears, nearly drowning out the frequent, scatterbrained complaints from the rest of the company.

Even turning his head to take a look at Gwen brought him no comfort. Her skin was paler than usual, maybe tinged a bit greenish, though he could probably attribute that to the dismal lighting the forest cast. The damp air had sent her hair frizzing wildly, clinging to her forehead despite how much she combed it away. Her eyes, when he did manage to catch a glimpse of them were nearly blank, boring straight into the path at her feet.

A shiver ran through Kili, despite the sweat beading over his skin. He felt ill. Very ill.

Kili had just gone around a twist in the path, when a voice called out from the front of the group. "We found the bridge!"

Oh, he hated how distant that sounded. Like it was a mile away in deep water. Very disconcerting, really.

"The bridge?" Bofur repeated.

Kili frowned. What bridge? He tore his eyes up off the ground too look down the path to see...Oh, _that_ bridge. Didn't seem like a very good bridge though. What good was a bridge that only got you through to halfway across what you wanted to be across?

Kili shook his head, trying to knock some clarity back in. His thoughts were far too fuzzy for his taste.

"We could try and swim it," Bofur suggested, peering over the broken edge of the bridge into the sludgy water below.

"No," Gwen called sharply.

"Didn't you hear what Gandalf said?" Thorin continued. "A dark magic lies upon this forest."

"All the waters, all the creatures, the very _air_ here is enchanted," Gwen sighed.

"Doesn't smell very enchanting to me..."

Thorin ignored Bofur's comment in favor of cutting off the path to the right. "We must find another way across."

Kili once again tried to shake the nonsense out of his head, before staggering along after his uncle. He found himself at the wide trunk of a fallen tree, jutting out over the water. The rotting wood crumbled a bit under his boots, but he was able to make it to the end of the log, where a thick net of vines was strung out over the murky water. Kili tugged on one, about as thick as his wrist. It hardly gave, feeling rough enough in his palm that he'd be able to get a good grip. "These vines look strong enough."

He had nearly swung his weight out onto the nearest one, but was cut off by Gwen's voice, urgent, and perhaps a bit panicked. "Kili, no!"

Thorin barked out Kili's name as well, and he nearly reacted on instinct, dropping the vine, stepping back onto the trunk.

"We send the lightest first," Thorin announced.

All eyes turned to Bilbo, who mostly looked confused, as Kili stumbled back down the trunk. As soon as his boots hit stone and dirt again, Gwen was at his side. "Valar, you're an _idiot."_

Kili's frown only deepened and he raised a hand to his forehead as his thoughts churned sickeningly in his head. "Aye...I-I know."

"Are you alright?" Gwen asked, her eyes peering into his.

The fog in his head only intensified as he felt himself getting pulled in by that searching gaze. "Are you?"

"No," Gwen breathed, her brow furrowing.

"Me neither."

"Kili! Gwen!"

They both whipped around at the sound of their names to see that many of their companions were already started across the web of vines. Fili was at the top of the fallen tree, looking down at them. "Right," Gwen huffed, shaking her head a bit.

Kili let his eyes linger on her for a moment longer, but gave into the pressure of his brother's staring, and trotted up the trunk. "Ladies first," Fili offered once Kili was at his side.

Kili blinked in confusion, twisting back to see who Fili was talking to. Gwen was a yard or two away, testing the strength of a vine, and the rest had already started across. It occurred sluggishly to Kili that his brother had, in fact, been referring to _him_ with the ladies comment. Kili rolled his eyes, giving his brother a halfhearted punch to the arm, before going out anyway. He made the first step easily enough, though his balance wavered a bit as the branch bobbed under his weight. He pressed on, squeezing through gaps, over crossing vines, the hairy texture of them tugging at his clothing and catching in his hair. He'd been doing quite well, when the branch he was standing on, hovering mere inches under the glassy surface of the water, was shaken. His balance gave in an instant as he was set teetering back and forth, the forest spinning and blurring around him. There was a horrendous sinking feeling in his gut as he fell forward.

He'd barely felt his shoulder brush against the water when Gwen's voice rang out, high, cracking with panic. "Kili!"

He snapped back into reality as he was jolted to a stop, his nose barely grazing the water, the breath being squeezed out of his chest. Someone had caught him from falling in. Despite the headache pounding against his skull, and the nasty crawling feeling over all of his skin, he could feel terribly acutely the drop of water that had touched his nose. It sent tingling goosebumps over his skin. Even so very close, the water was dark. Something like a slick of oil lay on its surface, shiny and filmy, catching the light in a terribly pretty way...

The hand that had gripped his clothing yanked him upward and Kili flailed a bit, the illusion of the river shattering. He felt around until he was able to gain a stable enough foothold, grasping onto handfuls of vines around him to keep himself from swaying. When his vision had focused, he saw Gwen, a few feet up through the vines, her face half blocked out, her eyes piercing right into him. She looked more terrible than ever, eyes bloodshot and rimmed in greenish-blue, cheeks gaunt and sickly pale, hair hanging lank down her shoulders. Her body screamed tension as she perched in the vines, her whole frame shaking as she watched him. Her gaze went right through him, haziness glazing over a handful of terribly raw emotions. He tilted his head as he looked up at her. Why, she hardly looked human. She wasn't though, was she? Is this what an elf was meant to look like in the forest of their people? Raw and feral, pulled thinner than parchment, constantly on the verge of collapse?

A hand clapped his shoulder, and Kili was forced to tear his eyes away from Gwen to look at his brother, who was jerking his chin to the far riverbank. Kili nodded numbly, reaching for the next branch. When he looked back up, Gwen was gone.

Kili had only just found himself on the next bit of stable footing, when his ears picked up a loud splashing noise to his right. He twisted to see Bombur, snoring fitfully, his massive body half submerged in the stagnant water. Kili swore. Of all the dwarves, why'd it have to be the big one?

* * *

It was a wonderful moment, when his boots finally hit solid ground. No more swaying creaking vines to try and balance on. Just solid, unmoving dirt. They managed to drag Bombur onto the riverbank, though he still seemed dead to the world, his head tipped back as the air was filled with the sound of his snores. Oin knelt beside him, giving the large dwarf a few hearty slaps to the face, before pulling a vial out of his bag, waving that under Bombur's nose. Still, no signs of waking.

"Is he dead?"

"No, asleep," Oin replied. "Smelling salts aren't even seeming to bother him though."

"It's an enchantment," Gwen explained, voice thin and tired.

"How long until he wakes up then?" Thorin asked, turning on her.

Gwen shook her head. "There isn't a way to know. Maybe a few minutes, maybe a week, maybe forever."

This caused a bit of a fuss, but Thorin spoke over the muttering. "Is there nothing you can do, girl?"

Exhaustion showed in Gwen's face as she slumped back into a tree. "I wish there was. You have no idea."

Thorin growled a bit, before going about ordering a stretcher be built for Bombur to be carried on until he woke up. Kili found his way over to Gwen, only stumbling slightly. "Gwen?"

She looked up at him, and Kili felt chills over her skin, remembering the way she had looked out over the river. So scared. So flighty. Now, she just seemed bloody _tired._ "Kili."

There was no vibrance, no wit in her tone.

"Are you alright?" Kili asked, stepping a bit closer to her.

She seemed to hedge away from him, closing in on herself. "No. None of us are."

Kili sighed, and placed a hand on her shoulder, despite her flinching away from his touch. "What's wrong, love? Why are you closing yourself off to me?"

"You don't need to know."

Kili shot her the sternest look he could muster. "Gwen. You know where that got us last time." He sent a glance back over his shoulder. Most of the company was busy, and fairly out of earshot, not likely to notice them, but Kili hauled her around to the back of the large tree, despite how much she dragged her heels. "Please. Talk to me."

She avoided his gaze, wringing her hands. "You scared me, is all."

Kili frowned. "Scared you? What'd I do?"

"Nearly fell," Gwen mumbled.

"Ah, but I didn't."

"But you could have," she explained tersely. "And you've seen what that water did to Bombur, he might never wake up! And with how small you are compared to him, there's no telling what the effects-" Gwen's eyes were growing progressively wider, as she tugged almost violently at the threads of her sleeves, still unable to meet his eyes.

"Gwen-"

"Or, what if it had been a different river, or just a bit downstream, or a different spell, and it pulled you under, tangling you up in its roots, sucking you deeper and deeper-"

Kili cut her off once again, grabbing her face in both of his hands, forcing her eyes to his. "Gwen, in Mahal's name, _calm down._ None of that happened. The river wasn't deadly, I'm not asleep, and I didn't even fall in. I'm here, and you're here, and we're _fine."_

"Fine," she repeated, eyes still flickering, her hands still working feverishly at her sleeves, until he grabbed onto her hands to stop the panicked movement. "Fine. Yes. I suppose we are."

"We..." Kili's thoughts drifted apart as the forest blurred out around him, just leaving this nervous, twitchy Gwen in clarity. "We need to get out of this forest, don't we?"

"More than anything," she breathed, eyes finally meeting his.

* * *

"Please. Don't wake the others."

"Aye...I won't. Don't worry, lass. Now how's about you tell me where you're headed off to."

"Away. I just...I have to leave."

The voices were maybe a few yards away, hardly audible over the rumbling of distant thunder, and the wind kicking up through the trees.

"What's going on? Is something wrong?"

Kili identified Bofur's rich brogue speaking, his voice kept low.

A rough chuckle. "Everything's wrong. But...That's neither here nor there. I can't really explain. You just...I have to get out."

Gwen's soft, familiar voice broke a bit at the end of that.

There was a long pause before Bofur spoke. "I suppose you have your reasons. Have you said goodbye to the lads?"

"Well enough."

Goodbye? Cold panic gripped Kili's heart, quite actually dragging him out of the dregs of sleep.

"What should I tell them?"

Gwen sighed heavily. "That I'm sorry. And that they should be strong. Much stronger than I've ever been."

Kili's eyelids snapped open, and once his eyes had adjusted to the dim lighting from the tumultuous sky, he found the spot where Gwen had fallen asleep, on the bit of ground right next to him, chillingly empty.

"You don't have to run, you know," Bofur said, a bit hesitantly. "There's still time to be strong, if that's what ye want."

Another one of those humorless laughs that Gwen was so fond of. "Not now, Master Dwarf. Now isn't that time. I've...I've reached a dead end. I need to get away while I still can."

"Alright, well-"

Kili sat up as quick as he could, his head spinning as he managed to mumble out, "Gwen?"

A series of colorful curses slipped out of her mouth, and Kili was able to make out her figure standing next to Bofur, who was seated by the fire. Her frame was heavy with all of her gear. She was ready for travel.

"Go back to sleep," Gwen hissed over to him.

Kili ignored that, staggering onto his feet as confusion and fear twisted terribly in his gut. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Gwen breathed, keeping her face well hid by her hood. "Just go back to sleep. It'll all be better by the morning."

Bofur stayed silent, watching as Kili stumbled closer to her.

"No. Gwen, what in Mahal's name is going on?"

Finally, he saw her face. Pale, and worn down with exhaustion, her emotions pent horribly up in her eyes in a way Kili knew hurt her heart something terrible. He took in her pack, her cloak, her bedroll all tied up. She was really going to leave. He shook his head numbly. "Don't-just..."

His tongue tied together, so he grabbed onto her wrist, dragging her into the darkness of the forest outside the camp. She drew out of his grasp as soon as they were out of earshot, shifting from foot to foot as Kili watched her, sadness tugging viciously at his heart. "You weren't supposed to wake up," Gwen said softly, as if that made it any better.

"Aye, I got that!" Kili snapped, throwing his hands up. "What were you thinking?"

"That I couldn't bear to see you like this. Looking at me like I've hurt you."

"Well, you screwed that up," he shot to her, as another peal of thunder shook the trees, heat buzzing through the night air. "Because you _have_ hurt me. What...You were going to run."

Gwen opened her mouth to speak, but Kili cut her off as realization dawned on him. "Just like with the other man you were talking about! The other one you left! You had this all planned out!"

"How could I not?" Gwen asked, avoiding his eyes. "It's..."

"Mahal," Kili breathed, clutching at his hair as his gut churned awfully. "It's the same. It's the bloody _same_ thing that happened with him. And here I was, thinking I was some sort of special!" A laugh bubbled up in him, more out of panic than amusement. "What a fool!"

"You _are_ special-"

"Don't you lie to me!" he snapped back. "Don't you lie to me anymore! I don't-"

He was jerked to facing Gwen as her hands grabbed onto his shoulders, her fingers digging into his muscles. "Silence _."_

Kili bit his tongue. Gwen's hood had been thrown back, and her hair was wild, being whipped about by the wind of the coming storm. She had dropped onto one knee to reach his height, and there was something sparking in her eyes, something dangerously volatile. "Do not _speak_ of things you know nothing of! You know nothing of that man. And if you did know anything, you would know that any love in me for him was gone in a breath the moment I first saw your face. You would know that what I thought was love then was wrong. You'd know that back then, I was alone, and scared and just wanted to be _wanted,_ and that's what he gave me." Gwen's hands slid off of his shoulders, and she fell back into standing, stumbling back from him. "I ran from him because I was scared. I run from you because I'm _terrified!"_

Another peal of thunder, this time even closer. "Why?" Kili breathed. "What terrifies you?"

"You!" Gwen snapped, her eyes flashing with light, reflecting the lighting that shattered the sky above. " _You_ terrify me, Kili! I lost you today. When you almost fell into the water, I couldn't see you getting caught. All the Valar would let me see was what it would be like to lose you there. Hopeless, afraid...And it broke my heart. It broke my heart in a way I swore long ago I would never let it break again. And as much as I love you, I can't! I can't let myself break like that again!"

"I didn't die though!" Kili shouted back, his blood pounding in his ears, stomach twisting awfully as Gwen turned away shaking her head. "Like I said before, we're here. I'm...I'm _fine!_ I'm right here!"

"But for how long, Kili?" Gwen spat, her cloak swirling out around her as she spun to face him. "How long until I lose you for _good?"_

The sound of her voice was almost lost as the thunder let out one last agonizing cry, lighting splitting the sky, before the downpour began. Kili was left speechless by the flashing moment he'd been able to see Gwen's face. She was feeling such agony. Such pain...Mahal, so _much_ pain. It felt like her pain was his, now, cutting deep into his heart.

Gwen dipped her head back down, as the rain coursed over her, until Kili found his words. "What...What do you mean?"

She lifted her head slowly, eyes piercing hollow into his. "We never can be, Kili. I'm...I'm not the same as you. I'm not posh, or royal, or a dwarf...I'm not even properly an elf _or_ a human! I belong nowhere while you belong somewhere! You belong with your family, with your people-"

Kili took a step closer, cutting her off. "Gwen, I belong with _you."_

She seemed to shy away from his touch, clutching her cloak tightly around her. "Stop it! Stop _damning_ yourself to follow a fate that could never _be!"_ Her voice broke at the end of that, though she pressed on, after drawing in a ragged breath. "No matter how much you say it, it cannot be true. No matter how much I love you, eventually, you're going to fade! You're to fade and wither into old age, and _die_ before my eyes, while I am left ageless, and miserable, and _alone_! And I couldn't be alone after that! After finding such perfection in you, I...I couldn't lose it. I couldn't lose _you_."

The rain seemed to have washed away Gwen's layers of defenses, leaving her looking more frail and hurt than ever. Hurt for him. At the thought of losing _him._ A shiver went through her, and Kili came closer, reaching out for her. "Gwen..."

She stumbled back further, panic edging her tone as she clutched her cloak all the tighter around her shoulders. "Don't touch me!"

Kili shook his head. "No. Please, Gwen. Let me hold you, at least this one more time."

Gwen froze, hesitating, so Kili closed the distance between them, grasping firmly onto her elbow. She seemed to crumble into his arms, clutching tightly onto him, shaking worse than a leaf. Kili squeezed his eyes shut tight, resting his head against the near-soaked mess of her hair. It broke his heart, remembering how many times he'd had her, in his arms like this, falling apart with fear or worry. And every time, there was nothing he could do to ease her pain but hug her and pretend that made it all better. Kili swallowed hard before speaking. "You wouldn't be alone, Gwen. This is _love,"_ he breathed, recalling Fili's words to him just a few days before. "And it's _good_. And if we just give it a chance, it'll all work itself out. We can have spent a life together. Then, even if I were gone, we could have children, _grandchildren_ , Fili might even-"

Kili stuttered to a halt as Gwen was suddenly pulling out of his arms, looking up at him with wide, desperately panicked eyes. "And what happens when they fade, Kili? When I have to watch my children, my very flesh and blood, be taken by age and time? I may not be immortal, but I'm bloody close." Her words shuddered off and she shook her head before gathering the strength to continue. "You see, I'm not _strong_. I'm not strong like you. I _run_ from my problems because it's all I know. Because I have to get away from them before they get even worse than they already are. I can't smile and laugh, and ignore them, and hope that they go away, like you can, because I've lived enough and lost enough to know that they _won't_ go away, no matter how much I hope."

Speechless. For once, Kili found himself speechless. What could he say to that? What could he say to make it better? To take away the pain and panic that had taken his love, and was beginning to take him? Everything he came up with, though, felt like a lie. Gwen couldn't be right though. He couldn't lose her. Not after such a short time of having her.

The pain hit him suddenly, like a dagger twisting in his heart. He found himself knelt on the ground, staring at the leaves glinting with rain and lightning, as hope seemed to drift away, his thoughts seizing up. "But...What am I going to do without you?"

"Be strong." Gwen's voice was dry, matter-of-fact, drained. "Live through this quest, because you deserve to. Return to the halls of your forefathers. Find love in someone who can love you properly. Someone who can make you happier than I ever could."

Again, the knife twisted savagely. "Gwen I don't _want_ happiness with someone else-"

"And I won't _find_ happiness outside of you." It killed him, to hear her tone so very broken. "But I've learned that sometimes, you don't get what you want. You just have to make do. And that's the place we've come to. It's...It's always been me against the world, and I think I've dragged you into this fight as well." A dry laugh. "But you should know. No matter how much you fight, no matter how much _we_ fight, we can't beat the world, Kili. Trust me. I've tried." There was a tiredness behind those words. An unspeakable _exhaustion._ One that Kili couldn't speak back to.

They sat there, Kili struggling to make sense of this weight settling onto his shoulders, Gwen fiddling with her sleeve, the rain roaring down on the both of them in heavy droplets. Finally, Kili was able to open his mouth. "But...why now? You can stay with us, at least out of the forest."

"I can't. This lie, this wonderful lie that I've crafted is coming closer to shattering every day. Just one slip up, and it's all over. If Thorin finds out, He wouldn't hesitate a minute to shove me out into the wilderness."

Kili squeezed his eyes tightly shut, his fingers gripping into the wet leaves as pain squeezed at his heart. He loved his uncle. The dwarf had always been there to love him, support him, to be a father when Kili had none. Why did he have to be such a problem here? It hurt a little, but Kili managed to bite out, "Who cares what Thorin wants? The rest of the company loves you like one of their own."

"Thorin's their leader," Gwen said with a shrug. "And no matter how fond they've grown of me, his judgment will always be the final one. If he says I'm gone, none of them would be daft enough to protest."

Kili's mouth went dry. He hated it when she was right. Why couldn't her dry, harsh remarks just be wrong for once? Why couldn't the optimistic alternative be the likely one? The thought of her leaving was...terrible. But Gwen wasn't a coward. As much as she thought she was, he'd seen her be strong. An idea began to form in his mind, and though the very thought twisted all the more at his frayed emotions, he had to say it. "Just...then don't hide. Don't run away."

"Kili-"

"Gwen, hear me out, just this once." Kili hated the defeated sound of his own voice. He didn't want to have given up. But he had. "You don't have to run from this. Tell Thorin, tell the others. Don't keep them in the dark. Then, if you do have to go, you can walk away with your head held high, knowing you didn't cower from the truth in the end."

The lightning illuminated worry, still heavy in her eyes. "But...I would be a traitor. They would all think me a traitor."

"But an honest one."

Gwen stared at him for a good long while, the thoughts visibly whirring in her head. Finally, she tilted her head a bit, the concern bubbling in her eyes stilling to defeat. "You really want me to do this, don't you?"

Another twist at Kili's heart. "No. I don't. But I'd rather you leave with nothing to regret, if you are going to leave."

"Very well," Gwen sighed.

As the silence fell between them, the gravity of the situation settled down onto Kili's heart. This was really happening. His Gwen, his lovely, perfect Gwen was...leaving. With no plans to come back. In fact, if she had it her way, they would probably never meet again. "I don't want you to go."

There was nothing but honesty, and perhaps the beginning of tears in Gwen's eyes as she replied. "And I don't want to."

Heat was prickling at Kili's eyes as well. He ignored it, just watching Gwen as best as he could, trying to ingrain her image into his mind. The image of the girl he'd come to love. Mahal. Love. "This isn't fair."

Gwen shook her head numbly. "It never has been. I'm just...I'm sorry I dragged you into this, aye? If I'd-"

"You don't mean that," Kili said in a firm tone. "You don't. No regrets."

"A nice thought, Kili," Gwen chuckled. "Really. But I'm afraid it's a bit too late. There's much in my life I regret. But, you're right. I...I don't know that I regret having loved you."

"I don't," Kili answered, quite honestly.

Gwen stared at him, once those words left his mouth, and Kili could hear her voice grow thick with tears. "Valar, Kili. I'm _so_ sorry."

In a few moments, Gwen was back in his arms, cold, wet, all bones and muscle and mussed hair, but his. For now. The tears that trickled out of Kili's eyes were washed away by the rain as quickly as they fell, and he found himself rocking Gwen back and forth, holding her as tightly as he could. Part of him still thought that if he never let go, she could never be taken from him.

"I'm sorry I met you, I'm sorry I agreed to come along with you, I'm sorry I said I would trust you, I'm sorry I..."

Her fingertips dug almost painfully into Kili's skin, but hardly felt the pain. "Stop it. This wasn't your fault."

"Then why does it hurt? Why do you hurt?"

"I don't know," was all he could say, quite honestly. Because he didn't know. He didn't understand why the two of them had been tricked like this. Tricked into loving each other so _very_ much, when the whole thing could only end in pain. What had they done to deserve this?

As lightning split the sky and thunder wracked the air, Kili's heart was torn a bit farther apart. In an impressive show of the defeat he so loathed, Kili admitted then that he was trying to fight against the world. And he was losing.

* * *

 _ **The angst is back. Not sure if I'm happy or sad about that. But, it is what it is. Hope you liked it though, yeah? A lotta feels here...Didn't get to read this one out loud to myself, so please point out any mistakes that I'm sure are there.**_

 _ **The reviews on the last chapter were fantastic! Also, if you're new to this story, welcome aboard! Leave a review if you have the time or will to make this author a very happy person. Have a great and happy weekend all of you! Seeya Tuesday!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Until Then**_

 _ **Preview:**_ _"You never have trusted me, have you?"_

 _"No. I have not."_

 _"Very well. Then I suppose I've nothing to lose."_


	18. Until Then

_**I own nothing but a laptop, decent education, and a penchant for writing extreme angst.**_

 _ **WARNING: This is a heavy chapter. Not very cheerful. If you are reading this chapter to boost your mood after a rough day, or make you smile in the face of hardship, this may not be the thing for you to read right now. But please do read and review eventually!**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

UNTIL THEN

Silence hung between the two broken lovers until the rain had faded, their tears had dried, and dawn was right on the brink. This did nothing to lessen their pain. Though the rain was gone, and his tears were dry, and the world was fading to light, Kili could only see the cleared clouds as the passing of a life-changing, staggering moment that could have gone a hundred different ways and chose to go in the worst way possible. He saw his dried up tears as defeat. He saw the beginning of the day as the beginning of a day that would hurt more than anything he'd ever wanted to face. And still, the world wasn't going to let them win, so Kili found himself loosening the desperately tight grip he had around Gwen.

The moment he saw her face, lit faintly by the pre-dawn light only hurt more. She was beautiful, even with dull, haunted eyes, mussed hair and her jaw clenched tightly with emotion. And here he was, letting her escape from his grasp. Madness. It was all madness.

Kili stared at her hunched, defeated frame for a while longer, before breaking that delicate silence. "I suppose you're planning on letting the truth out as soon as possible?"

Gwen shook her head numbly. "Shouldn't put it off."

A heavy sigh slipped out of Kili's lips, but after a moment, he managed a wry half-smile, despite his heavy heart. "Could I...D'you think I could braid your hair, just this once? I could show your ears so the others would be able to see."

She bit her lip, closing her eyes for a moment, before her gaze met his again. "Yes, Kili. Please."

This managed to spread Kili's smile a bit more to his eyes. He moved quickly to shift to Gwen's back. She'd shed her pack sometime earlier, her cloak slipping away to pool around her waist, leaving her dark hair flooding down her back in a mane of wild, rain-dampened curls. He found himself almost hesitating to touch it. Every other time he'd offered to help her with her hair, she'd declined. But now... "Just let me know if I hurt you, Gwen."

She hummed in response and Kili shook off any silly nerves, starting to work the worst tangles from her hair, staring from the bottom. As he worked, she let out a dry chuckle. "Gwen. You know, I picked that name to be called all those years ago because it didn't hurt. Didn't bring back any memories I wish I could forget. Now, I think, it's shaping up to be the worst one of all."

Kili frowned. "Is Gwen not your name?"

"Not my given one, I suppose," Gwen explained with a shrug of her shoulders. "I chose it...four years ago. I needed something unnotable and common, and 'Gwen' seemed to fit the bill well enough."

"What is your given name?"

"My father and mother called me Glorawen."

Glorawen...So, Gwen wasn't _Gwen?_ But...

"But please, don't start calling me that. I've enough sadness associated with that one."

Kili didn't push her on that. "What else have you been called then?"

"Well..." Gwen sighed, before launching into an explanation. "Once my parents were gone, the woman they gave me to called me Glorawen at home. But around others, that sounded too elven, I suppose, so she called me Glory. When she died, the family that took me in called me Glory as well. I honestly don't even know if they knew my real name. Then, my brother was born." Kili couldn't see her face, but he could hear the fond inflection in her voice, and liked to imagine she smiled there. "He wasn't too good at speaking, so 'Glory' became either 'Gory' or 'Lory.' I always insisted he called me 'Lory.' So, when it was just him and I, I was Lory, for years, really."

Gwen trailed off a bit, so Kili prodded her. "How long?"

"Long enough that when I lost him, I didn't know what I was. When I met the man who gave me the ring-" Kili tried not to let her know that he tensed at the mention of the man. "-He called me Lorra." Gwen outright laughed at that, and Kili found himself relaxing, letting himself smile a bit. "It was so far from my real name, but I didn't care. After that, I was in Rivendell, and was Glorawen again. Then when I set out for the world, the name Gwen came into my mind, and I figured it was close enough to my real name that my parents wouldn't roll in their graves quite so much, and...I suppose it just stuck."

"Well, I'm glad it did," Kili said, smiling down at the strands of hair in his hands. "I remember thinking it sounded quite nice the very first time I heard it."

Gwen snorted. "No need to try for the flattery, Master Dwarf, you've already won my heart."

"No, really!" Kili insisted. "I like the way it sounds. I like the way all of your names sound. Except maybe Lorra."

Gwen's laugh once again rang out, lifting his heart a bit out of the darkness. "Aye, that one was a little strange."

"Your brother," Kili prompted, pulling back another lock of hair from her temple, and bringing it back to the other ones he was working with. "You seemed to speak fondly of him."

"Of course I do. We grew up together, even if we weren't siblings by blood. We were raised, then trained together, then left to raise and train each other. That sort of thing tends to bring you closer to someone."

"And..." Kili hesitated to ask the question, but needed to save time as he fumbled with his pocket, so asked anyway. "What happened to him?"

"Nothing _bad_ really," Gwen explained with a sigh. "He grew up, while I couldn't. He fell in love. He got married. We just grew apart. And now...I haven't seen him in years."

Kili hummed in understanding, letting the braid fall out of his fingertips, onto her back. He took a minute to admire his handiwork (And perhaps stall a bit longer) before shifting a closer to her, moving more to her side. "So, Glorawen, daughter of Venelir or Mirkwood, it's a bit late to be asking this now, but I trust you wouldn't be adverse to the concept of me having woven a braid of courtship into your hair?"

Gwen's eyes shot wide, a panicked flush rushing to her cheeks, as her hands flew up to her hair. " _What?"_

Kili let a cheeky grin light his face, skimming a hand down the delicate braiding across her head. "A braid of courtship. Like your ring you got, but...Dwarven."

Gwen was still looking shocked as she traced her fingers curiously over the design, then down the long braid in the center. "What's this?"

Kili winced, seeing she'd found the bead he'd had to use to secure her hair. He reached out, trying to draw it gently out of her fingers. "Just...It's what I had. Don't have any proper courting beads, seeing as I didn't think I'd be needing them on this trip, but I needed _something."_

Gwen shook off his hands, pulling the braid over her shoulder to inspect the small, lumpy silver shape of the bead. She smiled softly, maybe a bit baffled, before looking up at him. "Where'd you get this from?"

"I...made it, actually," Kili admitted, feeling heat rush up to his cheeks. "But that was when I was fifteen, I swear! I'm _much_ better at the forges now-"

"Kili-"

"But I don't wear beads, and the only other ones I have are some of Thorin's old ones, and I figured that would be-"

 _"Kili-"_

"A little bit strange. So-"

"Oh, shut up."

Kili did as he was told, his cheeks still hot. He really should have used a bit of string, or thread. That bead looked more like a rock with some etching than-

"It's perfect."

Kili was instantly taken aback. "What?"

"It's perfect," Gwen insisted, smiling softly as she turned the metal about in her palm. "It's so perfect." Kili opened his mouth to speak, but Gwen beat him to it, her hand clenching around the end of the braid, eyes flicking regretfully up to his. "But you know...We can't actually be courting, really."

All the heaviness that had been lifting off of his heart for the past few minutes, dropped back down, and Kili found himself choked a bit for words. "I...I know. I'll take it down."

Gwen's hand shot up immediately, batting his hands down from reaching for her hair. "No. Leave it up. Please."

Kili frowned, but slowly lowered his hands. "But Gwen...We can't..."

She shot him a wry smile, her hands dropping down to her lap. "I know. But I think we both deserve to pretend, at least for a bit."

A smile found its way onto Kili's lips, though it was somewhat dulled by the terrible gravity of the whole situation. "Aye, we do. But..." his touch strayed up to the braid, running down her spine, hardly visible in the faint morning light. "You can still wear it, even once you're gone. The bead, at least. I figure it could be a bit like your ring."

His eyes flicked over to her face to see she was studying his features carefully, nodding slowly. "Yes. I would like to wear it. But not like my ring. When I look at that, it reminds me that though I find good, it won't last. That it'll all get ruined in the end. Looking at your bead, though, reminds me that even if the good will get ruined, it was better to have had it and lost it, then to never have had it at all."

Gwen's words hung heavily between them. Kili bit his tongue as heat pressed behind his eyes. She was right. It was better to have found Gwen, even if he was going to lose her, even if he hurt so terribly, even if he couldn't imagine living a life without thinking about her every day and night. At least he had the memories to hold on to. He was tasting blood in his mouth, when he let a smirk slide onto his face, leaning over to nudge her with his shoulder. "Look at you. Turning into a bloody poet."

She rolled her eyes, giving him a harder shove back. "Oh sh-"

Kili refused to listen to the end of that, leaning in to press a kiss against the corner of her mouth. Gwen seemed to melt into him, her lips capturing his fully, her frame folding into his strong grasp. When their lips finally parted, Gwen remained in his arms, her forehead tucked into the crook of his neck, arms locked around his waist. "This is going to hurt."

"Yes, love," Kili hummed, rubbing slow circles on her back, sighing in a deep breath of her scent. "It will. I suppose we'll just have to be strong though, aye?"

"Aye," Gwen repeated, almost reluctantly. "Promise you won't abandon me, though? You won't hate me, even if everyone else turns on me?"

Kili breathed out a dry chuckle. "Don't think I could abandon you."

"I wish I didn't have to abandon you."

"I know." Kili squeezed tight, as a cloud of finality settled in on his heart. "I know."

* * *

Kili returned to camp alone. As the trees grew more and more familiar, he forced a neutral, unreadable expression onto his face, even though all he wanted to do was frown. Gwen had suggested he return to camp before her, and try to look as unaffected as possible by anything that happened, in order to steer some of Thorin's wrath away from him. Kili hated the idea. He wanted to be by her side. Holding her up. Lending her the strength she struggled to find. But Gwen had left no room for him to protest, so Kili was forced to stroll back into camp, the blankest expression he could manage plastered over his face.

As the sun was beginning to filter through the trees, most of the camp was waking. Bofur shot him a curious look as soon as Kili came in from the trees, and Kili almost winced. Bofur had seen him and Gwen leave, heard of Gwen's plans...Kili shot him a look that he hoped conveyed his sentiment of "I'll explain later," before continuing on to his bedroll. Before he could reach it, though, Thorin stopped him with a hand to his arm. "Where have you been?"

Kili shrugged off his uncle's hold, annoyance seething up inside him. He couldn't help but think of Thorin as a rather large part of the reason Gwen felt it necessary to blow her cover. "Nowhere."

"Somewhere," Thorin corrected, his eyes flicking over to the empty space where Gwen's bedroll had been laid out the previous night. "Where's the girl?"

"How should I know?" Kili forced out, before tearing away from his uncle's gaze, making his way at last to his bedroll.

He sat in it heavily, raising a hand to scrub it across his face, feeling the weight of defeat and dread settling over his shoulders. The end was soon. Any minute now, Gwen would walk in, and it could very well all be over. His eyes focused in on the spot Gwen had fallen asleep in, right next to him. Where she belonged. Not off in some foreign land, in a foreign bed, with a different man. At his side, wrapped in his coats and his arms. There she could be safe, and accounted for, and _his._

"Where is Gwen?"

Kili started a bit at the sound of his brother's voice, dragging his eyes up to Fili. Worry shone clear through the dwarf's gaze, either for Gwen's sake or Kili's. Possibly a combination of both. Kili only shook his head numbly in response to Fili's question.

This only seemed to worry him more, as he scrubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "What's that supposed to mean? Has something happened?"

"Aye," Kili breathed out. "I suppose it has."

 _"What?"_ Fili pressed. "What happened?"

"Can't tell," Kili said, his head shaking again. "You'll find out though."

Fili only stared at him longer, his eyes scanning over every detail of Kili's appearance. Kili was beginning to fidget a bit, when Fili finally spoke. "This is bad."

Kili could only nod. "The worst."

Dori's voice rang out, then, summoning Fili, who left after shooting another worried glance at his brother. Kili was left behind to count the seconds until Gwen returned.

He heard her footsteps too acutely, crunching through dead leaves, closer and closer to camp. She'd come in at a different place than Kili had, likely to once again disassociate him from the whole situation. He had to struggle to keep his expression neutral, and perhaps a bit curious, despite the annoyance that flooded him all over again. Damnit, he didn't _want_ to be disassociated!

Gwen's frame was laden down with the weight of her pack, her cloak swishing around her ankles and getting swept up in the breeze as she walked. Her hood had been pulled up, shadowing her face almost entirely from view. She was hardly recognizable. She was wrought with decision, with purpose. A twinge of pride struck at Kili's heart, above his sadness. At least she wasn't broken and crying.

The camp had mostly fallen silent upon her arrival, so the sound of Gwen's gear hitting the ground was nearly deafening, her voice ringing out strikingly through the morning fog as she turned to speak to Thorin. "Master Dwarf. I need to speak to you."

"Where have you been?" Thorin growled, annoyance already tingeing his voice. "You had no night watch, no reason not to be here, asleep. Did you not say yourself-"

"That is not important," Gwen said, silencing him. Suddenly, the coldness left her tone, and she spoke almost softly, though Kili could still hear her. "You never have trusted me, have you?"

Thorin took a long moment to flick his eyes over her, before admitting perhaps a bit grudgingly, "No. I have not."

"Very well," Gwen sighed. "Then I suppose I've nothing to lose." She hauled herself up, her shoulders lifting to her full, impressive height and threw back her hood without any further hesitation. From his distance, Kili could pick out the pointed shape of her ears, pale against the dark braids twining around her head. Her cheeks were high, and elegant, her skin glowing like starlight in the pale dawn, her tone strong and clear as she spoke. "I have not been entirely truthful to you." Her eyes flicked around, acknowledging the rest of the dwarves, who had gathered around, their attention rapt. "To any of you. My name is Glorawen, Daughter of Leah of Rohan, and Venelir of Mirkwood. The blood of both man and the elves of this forest flows through my veins."

Kili's eyes slid shut, his breath leaving him in a hush. There it was. Gwen, finally being...herself.

There was a heavy silence, only broken after some time by Thorin's voice. "You...deceived us."

"Yes," Gwen bit out, tone clipped. "But I would not have if there was any other option."

"The truth was not an option for you?" Thorin asked, his tone like ice.

"It was, I suppose," Gwen admitted, after a short pause. "But it was not the thing I chose."

The tension could be cut with a dull knife. Kili had to fight himself not to jump up. To say something. To do something, _anything._ But this was Gwen's fight. Mahal, he hated to admit that.

"What is this?" Thorin asked.

Kili looked up to see Thorin had paced around to the back of Gwen, stopped short by the sight of the braids woven into her hair. The breath smashed out of Kili's lungs all at once as Thorin's gaze, tight with restrained fury turned onto him.

"Courting braids," Gwen said, tone not faltering in the least.

In a moment, Thorinwas only inches away and had hauled Kili up to his feet, gripping him by the collar to hiss directly into his face, "You foolish..." he shoved Kili back a bit, resuming his furious pacing. "Have you any _idea_ what you have done? What a foolish _reckless,_ insensible thing this was for you to do?"

Only the sight of Gwen over Thorin's shoulder, cool unaffectedness hiding the terror in her eyes, kept Kili's tone strong. "Yes. I do know what I've done. And I would do it again."

Thorin turned on him, eyes blazing. "Shut your mouth, you insolent _brat_! You know nothing of this world! Nothing of the _stupidity_ of your actions!"

"You can't tell me what to do. I'm not under your thumb. I have no _reason_ to have to obey your hasty, bigoted orders!" Kili felt anger that he hadn't felt in a _long_ time spark up in him. Anger that had long since wanted to resist what had, thus far, been unresitable. "If I want to love Gwen, I will!"

"Love?!" Thorin roared, his face coming up only inches away from Kili's. "You are a _child_ in the eyes of the world!"

Kili opened his mouth to shout right back, but Balin cut in, his tone warning. "Come, lads, let's-"

"Silence!" Thorin spat, turning to shoot a vicious glare at his old friend, before returning his fury to Kili. "Your mother was right. You are a foolish, stupid dwarfling, who should not have been allowed out of his mother's arms!"

That stung a bit more than Kili might have liked to admit, but he was once again kept from protesting, this time by Gwen. "Thorin, your quarrel is with me. Do not punish him for my errors."

Thorin turned slowly, his frame going rigid as he faced Gwen. "I'll leave," Gwen told him, before he could start off on her. "I know I am not welcome."

There was a lengthy pause before Thorin let out a bark of cold laughter. "You think I will let you leave? Let you run to your family here in the forest, and have us captured?"

Gwen smirked icily, though her hands clenched tight. "If you think that I wish to _help_ the elves in this forest, even in the slightest, you would be wrong. They may bear my blood, but they have lost any of my loyalty long ago."

"You have lied before," Thorin said. "Why would you not be lying now?"

Gwen did not answer that, instead tilting her head slightly as she spat out her words. "Because, Master Dwarf, the same hatred for these wenches runs through my veins, as blazes through yours right now. They denied me when I needed them. Their own kin, a lost and _broken_ child, they abandoned to a _cold_ and unforgiving world." The fire of painful memories burned in Gwen's eyes, manifesting itself mostly in anger as she inched closer to Thorin, her tone nearing a shout. "They left me to a world that could never understand me, never accept me in the slightest. I would not sooner lend them any aid than I would watch my own mother die a _thousand_ times more than I already have!" Her voice broke off at the end of that, but she steadied herself quickly, regarding Thorin with a nearly venomous, yet still calm, gaze. "So, I request that you permit me this one honor. Let me leave. Let me leave this forest, and you."

"You speak with fire, girl," Thorin admitted, though there was little surrender in his tone, and he didn't back down from Gwen's height over him. "But the blood of a traitor is in you. It is your very _nature._ No matter the promises you make, I will not trust you any more than I would trust the Elvenking himself."

Wrath blazed up all the more in Gwen's eyes, a cold chuckle cutting the silence, the words spilling without hesitation from her lips. "Thorin Oakenshield, if we are to be judging each other based on the sins of our fathers, I wish that you would _die_ in this forest rather than reach that mountain, where the sickness that consumed your-"

A harsh "crack" rang through the air, Gwen's voice choking in her throat as her head snapped savagely to the side. Thorin was practically shaking in fury, the hand he'd hit her with still raised slightly, and his words were quite possibly the angriest Kili had ever heard Thorin's voice. "You will hold your tongue if you value this meager existence of yours in the very least." Gwen did as she was told, though her hand had gone up to clutch at her cheek, unshed tears, rage, terror, and a burning _fury_ nearly spilling over in her eyes, though her gaze never left Thorin's. "I am not my grandfather."

Tense silence clutched them, yet more tears welling up in Gwen's eyes, Thorin's frame shaking.

Finally, Thorin turned away from her, scoffing slightly. "Ten minutes," Thorin bit out his voice quiet, dangerous. "You will be gone from my sight in ten minutes, or you will not take another breath. Do you understand that?"

"I do," Gwen said, voice soft, but not faint.

She waited for Thorin to pace away with a huff before letting the emotions spill out of her, tears spilling out of her forcedly blank eyes, the defiance draining out of her stance. As soon as Thorin was gone into the trees, Balin and Dwalin hurrying after him, Kili covered the few yards to Gwen's side as quickly as his legs would take him, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Gwen..."

"Valar," Gwen breathed, staring down at the ground. "It's over."

Kili tore his eyes away from her for a moment, around to his companions. Most of them were regarding Gwen with a horrified sort of disbelief. Bilbo had a deep frown wrought onto his face, concern more than fear molding his features. Ori seemed entirely awestruck, and there was perhaps the shining of tears beginning in his eyes. Bofur seemed to be muttering to himself, tugging absently on one of his braids. The sight of Fili made Kili's grip tighten on Gwen's shoulder. The dwarf seemed mostly expressionless from the outside, but Kili knew him well enough to see the thoughts churning through his head. He could see disbelief, grief, and no small amount of betrayal.

Kili's heart seized up in his chest a bit, and he forced himself to look away, turning back to Gwen. Her hand, clutching her cheek was trembling, the first tear streaking down her face. Kili sighed, reaching up for her wrist. She hardly protested as he gently drew her hand back from her face. Her skin had turned to an angry red color where Thorin's blow had fallen, harsher welts forming where Thorin's ring had scoured her skin. Gwen didn't even flinch as Kili gently ran his finger over the worst of one of these marks. Her skin was hot, and a bit raw-feeling, but she at least wasn't bleeding. "Can't believe he hit you."

"I can," Gwen mumbled, her eyes refusing to focus on his face as another tear tracked down the swelling skin of her cheek.

Kili gave a halfhearted shrug. "Aye. I suppose. That might not have been the best thing to bring up."

Gwen wasn't listening. Her gaze had clicked into focus over his shoulder, and she slid out of his grasp, lifting a hand to smear the tears off of her cheeks. Kili turned to see his brother had approached, an expression that could only be described as _lost_ writ over his face. Gwen nodded in his direction. "Fili."

"You..." Fili's words faded off with a frown. "Mahal, Gwen."

Gwen backed up slightly, her face falling. "Look, I'm sorry-"

"No you're not," Fili corrected, shaking his head. "You'd do it all again, wouldn't you?"

Kili almost protested, desiring very strongly to tell his brother to keep his mouth _shut._ Gwen didn't need any help feeling miserable, and despite his failure at the task, Kili still hoped to be able to shield her from as much pain as possible. However, Gwen just shrugged slightly. "Except for this bit, aye."

Fili's frown deepened a bit more, and he thought carefully before speaking again. "You wouldn't have done it-you wouldn't have lied-if you didn't have to?"

"Of course not," Gwen sighed. "If the truth had ever brought me anything good, I would embrace it with my whole heart. But all the truth has brought me is pain, and loneliness, and well...this."

Fili considered this for a few moments, before he had wrestled Gwen down to his level, and into a huge hug. Kili smiled, despite himself. Gwen had gone rigid in shock, though her face was buried away into the fur trim of Fili's coat. Fili seemed to be gripping her as closely as he could, his eyes squeezed tightly shut. "You're a foolish, foolish girl, you know? Too snarky, too hasty, too unconcerned for your own good."

Gwen perhaps tried to talk, but her voice was strangled out by Fili's hold. Fili hushed her quickly. "Shut it. I'm not done. I'd tell you not to break my daft baby brother's heart, but it seems a bit too late for that."

Gwen's shoulders shook, maybe with laughter, maybe with tears. "Stop it!" Fili ordered, before loosening his grip, enough for Gwen to lift her head away from him. Fili quickly raised both of his hands to the sides of her face, leaning forward to crack his forehead against hers.

Gwen flinched away, her voice choked with tears, and maybe amusement. "Ouch."

Fili merely rolled his eyes, before letting Gwen haul herself back up to her full height. "I wish I could say you should be getting used to that."

Gwen smiled ruefully at him, but had to use her sleeve to dry the tears off of her face. Kili approached her side slowly, giving his brother a smile, although his heart clenched with another wave of pain. Gwen's hand found his, her fingers twining into his, gripping him tightly as she pulled herself back together enough to raise her head and address the dwarves surrounding them. "Suppose I should be saying my last goodbyes then."

There were some faint mumbles of agreement, and Gwen gave Kili's fingers one last tight squeeze before they slipped out of his. She first approached Oin and Gloin, who regarded her with suspicion as she approached, turning away from her a bit. "You should have it cut out to you, taking care of these dolts," Gwen said to Oin, with a half smile.

The dwarf merely frowned, turning on Gloin. "What's that she said?"

Gloin only grunted, shrugging his brother off to continue glaring up at Gwen. Kili noticed her smile fall, but she nodded. "I wish you both the very best."

Gloin gave her the faintest nod of acknowledgment, while Oin mostly looked confused.

Gwen next moved on to Bifur who frowned up at her, spitting something in words Kili still couldn't understand. However, he offered out his hand, then, the frown softening a bit. With a hearty grasp of forearms, Bifur retreated back, muttering to himself. Next was Bofur, who smiled at her, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "You've done good, lass."

Gwen smiled softly in return, and Kili recalled having woken up, earlier that morning to the two of them talking. Bofur had been the first to suggest she face this whole ordeal head-on. Now, a private understanding seemed to pass in-between them as Bofur reached out to grasp her forearm as Bifur had. "You take care of yourself."

"Only if you do the same," Gwen shot back, voice softened with emotions.

One last nod was exchanged, before Gwen moved on to the trio of Nori, Dori, and Ori. Dori had herded Ori behind him as soon as Gwen approached, but Nori acknowledged her with a firm nod. "We've had some good times."

"We have," Gwen confirmed, eyes shining with the memories of these old times. "Don't 'borrow' anything that'll be noticed, aye?"

"No promises," Nori replied with a shrug, crossing his arms over his chest.

Dori practically glared up at Gwen as she turned on him, trying to hide Ori from her view. "Don't you come a step closer, you traitorous-"

"Oh, hush," Gwen said, with a roll of her eyes. "I'm still the same old Gwen I always have been. No more likely to suck your soul out than before."

Suddenly, Ori burst out from behind his brother, shoving him aside to get to Gwen, looking up at her with confident, yet fearful large eyes. Across his hands, a brownish mat of knitting was spread. "Lady Gwen, I think you should have this!"

Gwen frowned curiously, kneeling down to get herself to Ori's height. "What's this?"

Ori shrugged off Dori's hands, holding the thing in his hands out. "A scarf. Well...Not really, I suppose. I saw yours wasn't very warm, and I figured I had the time and the wool, so I could work on a new one, just in case. I only got halfway through, so it looks daft, but-" Ori's gusto left him in a breath, his hands clenching into the fuzzy fabric, brow scrunching up. "Oh, you don't want _this._ It's so stupid, I just...I wanted to get it done, but now you're _leaving_ so I just don't-Now I'm _stuttering!_ Well, I'll-"

"Stop babbling," Gwen ordered rather sternly, before her tone softened, as she held a hand out. "Might I see it?"

Ori hesitated a bit, but stuffed it into her grasp, before Dori could get to it. Gwen held it up at her eyes, a gentle smile lifting at her lips. "It's perfect. Not too long, and _plenty_ warm. I'd be honored if you'd let me wear this."

The young dwarf nodded furiously. "Oh, I quite want you to have it. I made it for you, you know."

"I do know. Now, you look after yourself, you hear?" Ori nodded again. "And don't let Dori always tell you what to do."

Dori was practically red in the face. "Oi, you have no right-"

"You are _not_ his mother, so stop acting like it. He's never going to be able to be on his own if you don't let him _live_ a bit."

Gwen left before Dori could argue back to that, this time kneeling before Bilbo. "This is goodbye then, little friend."

Bilbo huffed, straightening his jacket out. "I do not see the _reason_ behind any of this! I think Thorin-"

"You'd be wise not to voice those opinions, Master Hobbit."

Bilbo did shut his mouth, but only after shooting a glare in the direction Thorin had gone. "Will you be alright?"

"Well enough. Will _you_ be alright? I won't be there to carry you about anymore."

A flush rose up to Bilbo's cheeks instantly. "I will have you know that I am a _Baggins_ and a Baggins can function perfectly fine without a tall-folk to carry them about!"

Gwen threw her head back in a laugh. "That's the spirit! You watch out, Bilbo. It's a dangerous world out there, even with all the spirit in the world."

"And don't I know it?" Bilbo sighed, with a shake of his head.

"If you don't, you will."

Gwen gave Bilbo's hair a good ruffle, before drawing herself up to her feet. Her steps seemed terribly slow as she made her way to Fili and Kili. Before Kili could speak, Fili was rushing ahead of him, holding something out on his palm. "Take this, will you?"

Gwen frowned, reaching down gently to pick up the throwing knife from Fili's grasp. "What do you mean?"

"It's..." Fili's gusto seemed to fade a bit, a flush rising in his cheeks. "You're still terrible at throwing knives. And if practice makes perfect, maybe if you practice with a proper knife, like this, you'll be tolerable eventually."

She shot a glance to the dagger in her hand, before raising a brow at Fili. "Tolerable? Is perfect not an option for me?"

Fili smiled sheepishly up at her. "Aye, well...Keep up the practice, and maybe you'll get somewhere."

"Oh, _thanks,"_ Gwen drawled, rolling her eyes. "But I really don't know if I should be taking this-"

"You need the practice more than I do, Fili sighed in assurance. "Trust me."

A slightly sad smile quirked at Gwen's lips, but her grip around the knife tightened a bit. "I...Thank you, Fili. You've been a good friend to me."

Fili stared up at her for a moment, maybe thoughtfully, before huffing and stepping a bit closer, hauling Gwen down into another bone-crushing hug. Just as before, Gwen's laughter was muffled in the fur of Fili's coat. Fili's head was rested on top of Gwen's, so Kili had to step a bit closer to hear what the dwarf was murmuring into her ear. "You'd have been a great sister, you know."

Kili's eyes slid shut as tears pressed again at the back of his eyes, threatening more than ever to spill down his cheeks. Kili was forced to bite his tongue hard to hold back the sudden sob that choked at his throat. There had been nothing but honestly in his brother's voice. Honest pain. It could have been perfect. With Gwen...it all could have been so perfect. Mahal, why did this have to happen to him? Why couldn't he and Gwen have gotten their perfect, fairytale ending? Why did it have to end like this?

He didn't catch what Gwen had said in reply to Fili, but when he managed to pull himself together enough to open his eyes, Gwen had drawn out of Fili's grasp a bit so she could look him in the eyes. "You.." Fili had to pull a hand off of Gwen's shoulder to swipe at his tearing eyes before continuing. "You keep both eyes open. Don't be daft."

"And you do the same," Gwen shot back with a soft smile. "And make sure your brother doesn't get himself killed, aye?"

"No promises with that one," Fili chuckled through his tears, before giving Gwen a solid pat on the shoulder, and releasing her.

Gwen approached Kili slowly, her eyes betraying the fear and hesitation she felt. "Kili..."

Kili forced a smile onto his face. "Last kiss?"

Without sparing a single glance to the dwarves watching around them, Gwen dropped down, her mouth finding his easily and naturally as breathing. Kili sighed slowly, relishing in the feel of Gwen's lips moving slowly over his, the feeling of her hair slipping soft and thick through his fingers, the warmth of her skin. His mind was spinning, trying to remember every detail of this perfection before it ended.

It did end though, and far too soon. Gwen set her forehead gently against Kili's, her eyes flicking over his face. "I love you."

Kili's fingers skimmed down the braid laced into her hair, trying to keep from giving into that pain that squeezed almost chokingly on his heart. "I love you too, Gwen."

Gwen swallowed hard at that, shaking her head. "Valar, we're fools."

Kili could only smile against his tears, lifting a thumb to squash the single tear that had tracked down Gwen's face to her chin. "No tears."

"That goes for you too," Gwen said, leaning into his touch.

There was a distinct sound of someone clearing their throat, and Kili's heart sunk a bit deeper as reality snapped a bit more into focus. "We're going to be fine."

"I know," Gwen breathed, though her eyes betrayed her lie.

"Oi," Kili said, calling her attention back to him. "It's better to have had it and lost it then never to have had it at all, remember?"

"Yes."

The tears finally welled up out of his eyes, hot and burning, as Gwen pulled away, her head bowed. It was dead silent as she hoisted her pack onto her back, adjusting it carefully, before turning back to the rest of the dwarves. Her eyes focused over Kili's shoulder, and he turned to see Thorin, Balin, and Dwalin had returned, and were standing at the far edge of the clearing. Thorin and Dwalin were regarding her rather coldly, but a bit of sad warmth lit up Balin's gaze as he sent a meaningful nod in her direction. "You look after yourself, lassie."

"And to you," Gwen choked out, through the tears dripping steadily off of her chin. "Thorin?"

He didn't acknowledge her.

"I honestly wish you the very best."

The slight inclination of Thorin's head to her was almost unnoticeable.

Kili turned back in time to see Gwen had already made her way to the edge of the clearing, where they had come in the previous night. She turned back before disappearing into the trees, lifting her chin high, despite her tears and trembling hands. "I suppose this is goodbye then."

More tears seared his cheeks, and Kili had to fight to hold back an actual sob from escaping his throat. His heart was constricting harder and harder.

"May we see each other again if the Valar deems it so, and if not," a wry smile slid onto her lips. "Maybe at the end of all things, we'll meet again."

As soon as those words had left her lips, she spun on her heel one last time, her footsteps crunching deafeningly in Kili's ears as the distance grew. His vision blurred up, a whining noise squeezing out of his throat, but he was unable to tear his eyes away as Gwen walked further and further away. When the shadows finally swallowed her figure, Fili's hand, firmly on his shoulder was all that kept him standing.

Fili might have said something, but Kili didn't hear it. Instead he squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could, his hand coming up to grip at the fabric above his furiously throbbing heart. "The end of all things..." He shook his head, clenching his jaw against another sob. "Until then."

* * *

 _ **THIS IS NOT THE END OF THE STORY.**_

 _ **Not yet, at least. One more chapter and an epilogue. But is there a sequel on the horizon? Perhaps...This was a heavy chapter, so...sorry, I guess. Just kinda had to pull the plug there. But I hoped you liked it anyway? Review expressing your feels if you have the time or will. If you've nothing else to say, name a song that reminds you of this story. Or a smell. Or a food. Or a dog breed. I'm not picky. Just say hi, at least. I would honestly love to hear anything from you. Love you all! Stay fantastic!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: Healing Hearts**_

 _ **Preview:**_ _"...Gwen? Gwen can you hear me?"_

What an absurd question _, she mused, blinking as she considered it's answer. If she could hear him, that was all well and good, but if she couldn't hear him, then what? She wouldn't even know what he was asking._


	19. Healing Hearts

_**I own nothing. Peter Jackson and Tolkien do, though.**_

 _ **WARNING: Same as the last one, this is**_ **not** _ **cheerful or terribly uplifting. So if you are in the mood for some lifting up, move on for now. But come back and read later!**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER NINETEEN**

HEALING HEARTS

Gwen woke with a dreadful start, her breath catching, heart pounding a furious beat against her throat. Her eyelids snapped open in a moment, immediately scrambling to take in her surroundings. Dim light was the first thing she registered as her breath slowly began to return to normalcy. The air brushing against her skin was moist and chilly, despite the thick wool blanket she could feel draped over her. Her icy fingers clenched, trembling, on the rough bars of the cot she was laid out on. As her heart thudded sickeningly, she was forced to admit that somehow...she was alive.

A sudden weight dropped onto her heart at that thought. So, she was still alive. Which meant she still felt that pain.

A distant voice to her left chirped eagerly, but Gwen ignored it in favor of the other sound floating into her ears. The rush of rain. Heavy, somber footsteps. The wail of flutes. And weeping. Soul-wrenching weeping.

"What's that?"

The woman leaning over her went silent, blinking. "Hmm?"

"That noise?" Her voice sounded terrible to her own ears. Rusty from disuse, thick, gravelly. "What's happening outside?"

After a few moments, a solemn look came over the woman. "That's the dwarven funeral procession. They wanted to take-"

All the awful feeling she had felt when she woke up rushed back, only worse now. The words shuddered from her lungs as she struggled up into a sitting position. "Who's dead?"

The woman tried to push her back down, but those efforts proved in vain, as Gwen prompted her again, trying to find her legs to throw them over the side of the cot. "Valar, woman! Who's died? Who's funeral is it?!"

Though shocked and confused, she stuttered out a response. "The King Thorin, and his nephews."

Oh, sweet Valar, _no._

Something in her snapped as that information hit her full force, doubling her over. "No." The word came out like a breath between her lips. It can't have been. She was lying. She had to be lying. Gwen had staggered from the cot then, teetering on trembling legs to tumble past the heavy canvas tent flap, and into the world outside. She was astonishingly unfeeling now, to everything but the whirlwind of panic clutching at her heart. Intuition told her that rain was splashing into her skin, cold air cutting through her, but all she felt she could hear or feel was him. His words. His touch. Him, him, _him._

There was a whirl of dismal colors before the tragedy snapped into focus. Then, she was flinging herself into the procession trudging along the path before her. She hardly felt any of it: the dwarves she rammed into, rocks cutting into the soles of her bare feet, heavy boots crushing her toes, icy mud splashing up onto her shins, a sharp, hot pain in her abdomen.

Then, in a sudden gut-wrenching moment, it all came back at the sight of her lover's ghastly white features.

It was a bit amusing. She thought that she'd been broken before. She thought that she'd felt what it was like to have your heart torn from your chest by a force you were helpless to stop. She'd felt it more times than she wanted to count. But now, she knew that _this_ was really what breaking felt like. This was the sort of thing that she would never really recover from. He was her One. Her bright, smiling ray of light in a messed up, ruined world. But now, he wasn't smiling. His lips were pale, faded. His features drawn. And it tugged even harder at the bits of her heart that remained to see that he was still the most beautiful creature she had ever known.

She began swaying, her muscles betraying her. Her weak legs carried her over to a scraggly tree off the side of the path. She braced her forearm against the rough bark, eyes boring into the blur of mud at her feet. Upon blinking, the first tear made it's scorching way out of her eye. It slid, agonizingly slow, over her cheekbone, then lingered on the tip of her nose, before it broke off, miserably diluting the mud it splashed onto. A distant kick of logic kept her breaths steady and even, but every other part of her gave in. Her frame shuddered, heart struck out viciously against her breastbone, a siege of tears breaking out to wash the slick of rain from her face.

He was...dead. Just admitting it like that felt like another physical blow.

When did he fall?

Who was it that delivered the final blow?

Did he feel any pain?

Where was she when he breathed his last?

Why hadn't she been there to save him? Or at least to die fighting at his side?

Gwen squeezed her eyelids shut, feeling like a fish gaping and spasming in air. A breaking part of her wished to go up to his body, if only to confirm that the corpse they bore really no longer held his soul. But as a keen of wailing cut into her ears, she knew that wasn't for her. She wasn't meant to grasp his hand. To brush one last kiss to his brow. To sing him to sleep once the tomb was sealed and everyone had gone home. To remain there, alone, until time faded and she could fall into his embrace for the rest of eternity. It wasn't for her, and it never could be.

How many times in the past few months since she'd met him had she fallen into sorrow like this? Head over heels, not looking back, just letting that grief finally flood over her? And how many times did she have someone to go to, when she finally broke? But now there was no Kili. No Fili. None but her own arms to try and clutch the fracturing pieces of her together. It was just like before. All those years she had spent alone.

A pitiful whimper choked from her throat at that thought. Bloody _Morgoth_ below, she didn't want to go back to that life.

Her lungs wrenched awfully again, trying to drag in breath, but she couldn't make another sound. It was silent, then. No sound but a cold, distant voice from the corner of her mind as a new wave of grief and rage tore through her.

 _You never could have been._

Her fist pounded desperately against the trunk of the tree, skin scraping off, teeth clenching against another lake of tears.

No matter what her intuition said, a cold, angry fist clenched onto her heart. He _was her One._ The One who completed her. The One she could never live without. It was just like her to have lost that. She might have screamed then. She hit the wood again and again until she was hunched in the mud, gasping, crying, bleeding, and _hurting._

Valar, it hurt.

She hadn't spoken to her father in decades. Either hadn't wanted to or hadn't dared. But now, the broken hearted girl in her cried out to him, aching for some sort of comfort. _Ada, make it stop...Make it stop, make it_ stop!

No comfort came.

Her head felt stuffed, achy. As her abdomen clenched with sobs, she registered an especially stabbing pain in her side, and a sickening warmth spreading across her skin there. In a far off place in her mind, she recalled having been injured. She couldn't bring herself to care.

In fact, she was beginning to struggle to care about... _anything._

Would it really be too bad if she just let go? If she just surrendered to the world? It had won. She had admitted it a thousand times. And now that it had fully asserted its crippling victory, snuffing out that last candle of chance, she could just let that icy, clear rain kiss the tears from her cheeks and blur out the colors until she felt nothing. No pain, no sorrow, no fear. Just an out of focus smudge of grays then nothing.

A chilly sort of relief seeped over her then, and her dreadful sobs soon faded off. It felt lovely for once, to let herself stop feeling. Let herself surrender to the victory of the world. Perhaps now, she had cried all of her tears dry. She vaguely recognized that she was lying on her back in a mangled mess of grass, rock, and mud. The rain pattered sweetly over her, each drop carrying a world of tension as it sluiced off her cold, paling skin.

Was this death? She liked it. It seemed sweeter than living, had ever been, anyway.

On some odd whim, her eyelids fluttered open to see a pair of large, brown eyes peering down at her, crowned by a head of rain-dampened curls. The sound followed after, wandering sluggishly into her ears. "...Gwen? Gwen can you hear me?"

 _What an absurd question_ , she mused, blinking as she considered it's answer. If she could hear him, that was all well and good, but if she couldn't hear him, then what? She wouldn't even know what he was asking. As an answer, though, she nodded, taking in a breath of cool air.

Bilbo's eyes widened fractionally, and he began to wring his hands nervously in his lap. "Are you quite alright then?"

Her eyes shifted wearily back to the clouds as she spoke in a bitter deadpan. "Consider the facts, my dear halfling. My lover has died. I would not be permitted to attend his burial. My traveling companions of a month and a half all think me a traitor. I've watched many of closest friends wither before me. And through all of this, I'm now laying in the mud on the side of a road...still alive."

The poor hobbit blinked, quickly becoming flustered. "Well, when you put it like that, I suppose you'd not really be considered in top shape."

As Gwen stared at his worried face, a sigh brushed from her lips, a touch of sympathy staining her thoughts. "But do not worry too much for me. I have experienced much pain in my life. I do not doubt that this will pass like any others." The lie, like so many others, spilled off her tongue easier than breathing

He looked up, a spark of hope in his gaze. "And at least you're still alive and kicking, right?"

Looking up at him again, a rush of guilt prevented herself from saying anything otherwise. She couldn't bring herself to admit that only moments previous, she had been quite set on the idea of letting herself die off. And with a heavy heart, she couldn't really admit that to herself either. "Yes, Bilbo." Her voice was heavy. It was surrender. "I have that."

Seeing those words as encouragement of sorts, he lit up and continued hurriedly. "And I'm sure you'll find some lovely place to rest until you feel a little better."

"A lovely place..." she mused, a bit airily. "A darkness seems to be growing upon this land, Master Hobbit. I'm afraid that 'lovely places' are becoming more difficult to come by."

Bilbo stared intently at her for some time, appearing to be in deep thought, until he set his shoulders firmly. "Well, I think you should come back with me to the Shire then," He hastened to explain. "If any sort of darkness is to be growing, I guarantee that the Shire's the last place it'd want to be! The countryside is quite lovely too...oh, the food as well! I'm positive it could do you some good if you were to eat like a hobbit for a while. Though, the doorways might prove a little small for your height...but I'm sure you'd adjust soon enough! Gandalf and I were going to be leaving tomorrow morning if you'd like to come with us. Oh, there'd be quite the buzz if you were to show up. But that's nothing, really. You see, we hobbits, we'd buzz about anything really. Like bees a bit, we are, in that respect. Worry not though, as any buzz, I assure you it'd die down eventually. But it certainly would be-"

Gwen silenced him then. "My dear hobbit." he looked up, lips still parted and poised to continue. "You do tend to go on." His mouth snapped shut, a blush quickly blooming over his cheeks. "But going with you, it seems...good. I feel some peace could do me good."

This set him practically beaming. "Brilliant! I'm glad we've gotten to the same page! Now, we'll just get you cleaned up, get a good lunch in you and I'm-"

"I can't."

The hobbit blinked, surprised. "But, I'm positive you'll feel better if you'd just-"

"No, not like that." She offered him a grim, watery smile, as she placed her hand over the angry, pulsating wound in her abdomen. "I was wounded in the battle, and I'm afraid that I've barely healed yet. Not to be dramatic, but if I were to stand up, I think I'd be putting myself in a good position to die."

If it was possible for Bilbo's eyes to grow wider, they did. "Wh..erm...What should I..."

"Calm down, Bilbo." Her smile was strengthened by his concern for her. "It's not yet time for me to fade. Fetch me a healer, and I'll be right as rain in a day or two."

He seemed to relax a little at that, but his brow was still furrowed as he clambered to his feet. Gwen stopped him, placing a hand over his foot. "And Bilbo?"

"Yes?"

"Try not to worry yourself so much. You'll age too quickly."

He smiled shakily before hurrying off.

Then, the world was soft and quiet again, the delicate showering of the rain muffling every other sound. Her breaths hushed in and out of her lungs, as her thoughts began to blur at the edges. Any day from then on out, she dismissed what she felt next as fever and grief induced nonsense.

She felt a heavy, thick frame lean over her, shielding her from the sky and cold. A warm, solid, and familiarly calloused hand smoothed the strands of hair off her forehead. A soft pair of lips then, brushing over her own. Then a cheek, terribly rough with stubble scraping across hers, and a low voice murmuring into her ear, _You've fought well, love. Now close your eyes. I'll keep you safe. Always._

* * *

 _ **THIS IS ALSO NOT THE END OF THE STORY**_

 _ **One more to go, guys. Hope you liked this nice chunk of sadness... A bit of happy news, though, I'm not done with these characters! But how, you ask, can I continue if our favorite dwarf just died? Worry not, no all-Gwen stories coming up. I don't think anyone wants to read that. Buuuut...**_

 _ **I'd like to run two stories at the same time. One would be a drabble/oneshot collection. Lots of Durin Bro feels, young Kili, a little bit of retrospective on the events of this story, even some pretty AUs (Lotsa modern, maybe some genderswap, and even a little steampunk?) That should be up pretty soon, so look out for it. Also, if you have any suggestions or requests for that collection, please let me know! I'm always looking for inspiration.**_

 _ **And another story! This time an AU in which all our dwarves survive the final battle. Of course, it's a bit more complicated than that. It's gonna be a multi-chap, with adventuring, Gimli bonus, Tauriel, extreme exploration, a good dose of romance/angst, a few more epic, emotional speeches, and Bard (Maybe pirates?)! I'm still writing that now, but once I get a few more chapters on paper (or screen) I'll start on posting that. Hope you'll keep an eye out for it, I'd love for you all to read it!**_

 _ **Whew. Possibly the logest author's note ever. Sorry! Just wanted to get that out. Leave a review with thoughts, suggestions, questions, concerns, anything! Seeya all for the FINAL CHAPTER!**_

 _ **Next Chapter: The Nature of Hobbits and Rumors**_

 _ **Preview:**_ _"Wait!"_

 _"Yes, Master Frodo?"_

 _He found the little thing he was looking for rather soon, and saw it was a lumpy, tarnished bit of silver that secured the end of a small braid at the nape of her neck. "What's this?"_

 _"That's..That's a story for another day, my dear Frodo."_


	20. The Nature of Hobbits and Rumors

_**Everything that isn't my OC belongs to Tolkien and Peter Jackson. Don't sue me.**_

* * *

 **EPILOGUE**

THE NATURE OF HOBBITS AND RUMORS

There was quite the disturbance in Hobbiton when Bilbo Baggins returned from his adventuring. He has been declared dead! But there he was, spitting and shouting, face going ruddy in frustration. Simply the return of this presumed dead hobbit would have caused rather a commotion, but even more astonishing was the human girl he had brought back with him.

She was alarmingly tall, all skin, bones, and muscle, with dark hair and pallid skin. She was rarely seen smiling upon first arriving in the Shire, and it seemed that she bore the weight of the world on her shoulders, a feature rarely seen in hobbit-kind. All of Hobbiton was abuzz, discussing Bilbo and this woman. Who was she? Where was she from? Why had she come to the Shire? Why was she living in Bag End? (The Sackville-Bagginses were particularly upset about that last one)

Rumors too, spread like wildfire. Some said that Bilbo had happened upon her throughout his adventuring, and due to a sudden onset of paranoia, taken her back with him as a bodyguard of sorts, in order to ward off any dangerous creatures he might encounter. Others speculated that she was ill and dying from some mysterious, foreign disease, and Bilbo, overcome with sympathy, had offered her a comfortable place in which to live out her last few weeks. Among these rumors, the most alarming, was that this woman was, in fact some sort of a witch, and she had put Bilbo under a wicked spell, in order to lay claim over his home and eventually all of the Shire. (That one had, of course, been mainly spread by the Sackville-Bagginses in an effort to create animosity towards this mysterious woman who'd quite rudely taken up residence in the home they sought)

Most of that was nonsense, though, and quickly dismissed as such.

As the years passed, one could see the woman changing, healing. Her smiles became more frequent, her steps lighter. A few years of hobbit-eating had softened the harsh edges off her frame, and set a much more healthy glow about her face. As she adjusted to life in Hobbiton, Hobbiton life adjusted to her. Perhaps a decade after her arrival, mad stories pertaining to her were few and far between. She was nodded to when passed on the path, smiled at, even, by a few of the friendlier folk.

The children, in particular, seemed to take a liking to her. They would spend long hours on most days in the garden of Bag-End, their attention rapt on vivid tales of dragons and peril spun by this Miss Gwen and Bilbo Baggins. In the decades the girl spent in the Shire, two conversations of particular note occurred.

The first was a sweet midsummer evening, as the time was nearing supper, the sun dipping beneath the horizon, cool air stirring the heat away from the garden's grass. Gwen had retired inside half-an-hour previous, and one of the littlest hobbits tugged at the hem of Bilbo's trousers to get his attention, looking up with wide, curious eyes. "Mister Bilbo, why is it that Miss Gwen always wears that scarf?"

The scarf that was being referred to was a worn, knit one, made of coarse yarn, that looked to have been made too short for its wearer. Gwen wore it tied or draped about her neck most days, even during the summer.

Bilbo smiled down at the young boy, and took a long draw from his pipe before speaking. "It was given to her as a gift by one of our traveling companions, like the dagger up on the wall. It has grown to be very precious to her."

The young one furrowed his brow at that, wrinkling his nose up a little. "But it's old and itchy, and it seems foolish to wear it during the summer time."

"And to her, it's worth more than all the jewels you could even dare to imagine!" Bilbo told him, widening his eyes for effect. However, the hobbit's expression remained miffed and slightly puzzled. Bilbo chuckled, reaching down to ruffle the boy's curls. "You'll understand soon enough, I'm sure."

The second conversation of interest occurred decades later, at the home of the young Frodo Baggins.

The hobbit and Gwen were seated on the old wood dock that stretched a few feet over the placid lake, soaking in the warm wash of summer sun. As she had spent time with hobbit-folk, Gwen had found herself going out without boots of any sort much more frequently. That day was no exception. She had her bare feet hanging up to the ankles in the cool, silky water below, swirling lazy circles through it. Frodo, with his rather shorter legs, could only reach to skim his toes over the surface. He leaned forward a tad precariously, squinting hard into the water, determined to see that silvery flash he had noticed a few minutes earlier again. As the seconds dragged into minutes, he huffed and sat back. If whatever it was wanted to hide from him, he very well wouldn't humor it by trying to look for it anymore.

A breeze slid past, cooling the beads of sweat on his forehead and ruffling fond fingers through his curls. A sudden flash of light in Gwen's direction caught his eye. He turned quickly to see that the locks of her hair had been lifted aside to reveal something shiny in the curls on her shoulder blades.

"Wait!" he called firmly, speaking more to the shifting strands than to the woman.

She turned her head to look down at him, a soft smile touching her lips. "Yes, Master Frodo?"

He frowned and without speaking, reached up with stubby fingers to shuffle through the locks of her hair. He found the little thing he was looking for rather soon, and saw it was a lumpy, tarnished bit of silver that secured the end of a small braid at the nape of her neck. It was heavy and cool in his fingers and he turned it a little, watching, fascinated the sparks of light it threw out. "What's this?"

She twisted a little to see it, and her face instantly fell. For a moment, if you'd been looking, you would have seen a myriad of raw emotions flash across her features. Sorrow, fear, anger, and even a touch of affection. "That's..." her voice faltered, thick with all those feelings. She cleared her throat quickly, masking that storm of emotions with a crooked smile. "That's a story for another day, my dear Frodo." She saw the protest already forming on the boy's lips, but didn't allow him to start. "Now go on up to the house. Your mother'll want you to clean up before lunch." He shot her a nasty face as he slowly dragged himself to his feet, and Gwen gave him a stern look. "Don't give me that, Frodo Baggins. You've had plenty enough stories for now."

The young hobbit turned to begin trudging up the grassy hill, seeming set on moving as slow as possible. Gwen chuckled. "I heard that there was some left over bacon from breakfast. If you hurry along, you might be able to get a bit."

His eyes lit up instantly, and he was scrambling up to the house without any more fuss.

Gwen stayed where she was, letting that false smile fall from her face and leaning forward to peer into the lake. Her reflection was disrupted as a few heavy tears pulled off of her nose to create tiny ripples in the glassy surface.

Yet more decades passed, and the woman became part of life in Hobbiton. Hardly more gossiped about than flowers, pipeweed, or butter.

Then, on the rather remarkable evening of Bilbo Baggins' eleventy-first birthday, she too was gone before the sun rose the morning after.

* * *

The night was wicked. The air was cold and unforgiving, the sky clouded and black as ink. Rain pounded down in sheets, slicking stones and turning the ground into a mud pit. The smell of fire, blood, and sweat laced the air. Screaming, howling and crashing of steel on steel polluted the silence. Heavy footsteps beat against the ground, causing the whole scene to tremble.

It was on that night, that Glorawen, daughter of Venelir of Mirkwood, fell.

She collapsed first to her knees, the energy washing out of her. Then, she crumpled on to her side, the mud splashing up to soak her, leeching more energy and heat from her quivering muscles. Thick, hot iron slicked her tongue, her breaths shuddering stickily though her pierced throat. Feeling slowly drained out of her extremities, but her heart still thudded sickeningly against her ribs. Her thoughts floated out of reach as breathing became more and more of a challenge. The mud sucked angrily at her as she was rolled onto her back. Her lips fell open slightly as her lungs spasmed, a rattling cough spraying droplets of blood onto her face. They hit her cheeks warm and heavy, but were quickly sluiced away by a sheet of icy rain.

Despite the struggle of her lungs and pulse, her glassy eyes bored into the inky night sky with a sort of exhausted serenity. The sky seemed like some fathomless abyss, oozing from its vaulted hold to creep nearer to her. Her head began to throb stuffily, her lungs shuddering and trembling for one last sweep of night.

She was tired. Exhausted. She had been fighting for so many years, and in her heart, she longed so terribly for rest.

The chaos of battle soon faded in her ears, as the airy, silk soft fingers of night reached down, gathering up her prone body into it's warm hold. Her thoughts darted away from her reach, and her eyes slid closed as she at last let herself drift into the darkness.

 _Until the end of all things..._

* * *

 _"Kili?"_

 _"There you are, love. I've been waiting."_

 _"As have I. We've a lot to catch up on."_

 _"Too much."_

* * *

 _ **And there we go. That's how you relationship. Finally.**_

 _ **I think that's a nice place to end it, don't you? It's no Beren and Luthien, but I think they did end up happy. I apologize if you were seeking out a super happy, cliche ending, this is all you're gonna get. For now. I hope you'll all hop over to the two stories I'm planning as spinoffs of this. I should be posting those in a week or two, as soon as I get far enough ahead in writing them that I can justify posting. Just keep an eye out, yeah?**_

 _ **It's probably a bit odd to hear, especially after just having read this chapter, but this was the first chapter I ever wrote of this story, almost a year ago. At that point, this whole story was just a collection of ideas in my head-I didn't even have a name for Gwen yet. I never would have thought that I would complete this story, much less end up finally getting back on this site, posting this, and actually having other people read it. But, I did manage to pull this off, and it's mostly because of each and every one of you that's reading this right now. You kept me going, kept me in high spirits, and really made my welcome back to this site a welcoming welcome indeed. So...thanks guys, you all mean the world to me, and I love all of you more than you think. (I swear, it's not creepy.)**_

 _ **Well...I guess this is it. Until I post again, I bid you all a very fond farewell!**_

 **LOOK AT THIS PLEASE: _The AU sequel and spin-off drabble series is up! If you liked this, go check those out. And don't forget to review!_**


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